Gary Ee wrote:

Based off the work of DB Sommers and the recent spate of Magical Girl

Fics.

Well, since you invoked my name, I shall respond. Just remember to sacrifice
small animals at my altar.

Failed Experiments in Lemon Fiction: A Ranma/Magical Girl Fic

I can imagine where this one is headed. :)

Zantza was depressed. Well, it is rather difficult to be cheerful when

one's

abode is the lake of molten fire where the Damned wailed endlessly

and out of tune, no less.

^_^

 so it

might be more accurately

accurate

to say that he was more depressed than usual.

Then why didn't you say that in the first place? :)

Zantza was a Demon of Lust and was well endowed for his duties. In his
Seducer form, he was a devastatingly gorgeous bishonen

True. Gals do go for the pretty boys instead of real men, like me. With a,
you know, gut and everything.

but it was his

Violator form that he was extremely proud of. Over eight feet of heavily
muscled flesh was topped with a phallus the length of a baseball bat and

as

thick as a basketball.

And he could make a 'slam dunk' with it that would really please the ladies.

 It made running rather difficult and jumping

downright dangerous but

dangerous, but

one could hardly please the ladies without the right

equipment. Foreplay was more than adequately served by numerous tentacles
and a prehensile tongue, the kind that could wrap twice around a woman's
waist before delving into her orifices.

Ah, so its tongue is built like Gene Simmons. I see.

 At the moment, this lean, mean rape

machine was engaged in an age-old ritual that was ubiquitous to Heaven,

Hell

and all places in between.

Whining to his mother.

True.

"But Mom, I don't *want* to travel to the mortal world to rape, violate

and

ravage human females! I want to find a nice girl, settle down and raise a
brood of little demonlings."

Rosier sighed as she tried to talk some sense into her wayward child. "Yes
dear,

Dear (I think)

we've had this argument before. You have to violate at least one woman

in order to qualify for your Demon License. No decent demoness would marry
someone without a license in *something*."

Nod, nod.

Rosier tuned out her son's rebuttal. It was always the same old thing.
Where, oh where did she go wrong? Instead of a ravenous sex-machine, her

son

liked painting, star-gazing and writing love sonnets for some of the more
comely succubi. Some of them thought that it was sweet, a quality that you
rarely found in Hell, but all agreed that Zantza was not all right in the
head.

Heh

".........I want a tender, loving relationship before I commit the deed,"
rattled on Zantza.

Rosier decided that after nearly two hundreds of his waffling, she had
enough. It was inconceivable that she had given birth to such a *prude*.

Heh. Got to have standards and what not.

"And you expect to do that how? Women tend to run screaming from your
Violator form and melt into puddles of ooze when confronted with your
Seducer form. You've been procrastinating forever and

forever, and

 I've had enough! Go

out there and earn your license before I get your aunts to have their way
with you."

Heh. Some threat.

Zantza tried to suppress a shudder. His mother was bad enough but his

aunts

were pure shrews. That and the thought of having copulation within the
family made his

him

sick to his stomach.

Rosier's face softened a bit. "What would your dear, departed father say

if

he could see you now?"

"Father's dead only because you tried to break the sex marathon record,"
muttered Zantza.

Hehehehe.

*****

Assuming his Seducer form to walk among mortals, Zantza was struck by the
difference between the mortal world and his home in Hell. The blue skies

and

glorious sunsets spoke to the poet in him and the stars seemed to go on
forever. Kicking a can in sheer exasperation, Zantza once again bemoaned

the

fate of a romantic soul born as a Lust Demon.

Obviously it's the ultimate screw job, which is the point of a lemon. So in
my book, you succeeded, Mr. Ee. :)

 Still he had to try, to make

his mother happy if nothing else. That or she'd club him over the head and
educate him herself. Some sick puppies out there might fantasize about

doing

their own mothers but

mothers, but

Zantza would rather not, thank you very much. Luck

seemed to be on his side when a cute girl jogged past him clad only in a
sweaty, clingy shirt and shorts.

Akane Tendo was quite nonplussed when a demon suddenly leapt in front of
her. It was easy to deal with perverts but when a demon turns up and
entangles you with his tentacles there was only one thing to do.

This should be fun.

Zantza grinned sheepishly as the girl stopped struggling. "I'm sorry but

sorry, but

 I

have to violate you now."

Akane seethed for a second time before calling out, "Pervert Smashing

Power!

Make Up!"

Heh. Didn't see that one coming. Thought it would be a normal clubbering.

"I must say, that cape is very fetching but shouldn't it reach at least to
your mid-back?"

Nah. Too low and they trip up your feet, unless you're in a comic book.

*****

Nursing a ringing in his ears that he was sure would last for the next few
decades, Zantza decided for a less dangerous partner this time. He laid in
wait until he saw a suitable girl. Her half-lidded eyes made her look
nonchalant but

nonchalant, but

Zantza was sure that she had repressed sexual desires just

lurking under her ice queen exterior.

He's either completely wrong or completely right, in either case, it will be
bad for him.

Nabiki seemed to get a slightly disturbing glint in her eyes. "I cut off

his

sausage and stuffed it up his drainpipe."

Ouch.

Zantza was distraught, "Cousin Vinny wouldn't hurt a fly! He was just

trying

to get by!"

Blech. Some poetry. She needs to beat him up for that alone.

Zantza was treated to another titillating transformation sequence. If
nothing, this trip was improving his knowledge of anatomy. He cringed as
Magical Princess Death Dominatrix swung her tire iron at his head.

Interesting choice of weapon

Zantza found himself staring at the sky after another explosion of pain

and

thought it better to remain on his back. Maybe the violent woman would go
away if he played dead. Then he heard the revving of a powerful engine.

Heh. Yep. It didn't pay off for him in the end.

Perhaps if he went for the sweet, innocent kind he would be able to
accomplish his mission with far less trouble and bodily trauma. After all,
Zantza reasoned, there could hardly be more Magical Girls running around.

His biggest error yet, that assumption.

From his understanding, they were supposedly a rare breed so it was just

his

misfortune to run into two of them in a row. A cute little thing dressed

in

lace and frills skated past him and Zantza decided to make his move.

Oh boy. Probably the most powerful of them all.

Zantza screamed as the entire season of "Magical Girl Pretty Sammy"
compressed into a thirty second montage flashed through his brain.

Ouch.

This time an athletic redhead was in his grasp. Zantza was so busy
apologizing that he missed out most of his victim's protests.

"I'm a guy idiot!"

Except that one.

The only one that matters.

"A man you say?" Zantza's tentacles tightened over her generous breasts
causing Ranma to gasp and stiffen suddenly. "What about these?"

"Ever heard of Jusenkyo?"

"The cursed springs? You mean you really are a man? I think I'm going to

be

sick."

"Not on me you jerk!" Ranma shouted while he kicked the demon in the

family

jewels. The fact that they were the size of footballs only made them

better

targets.

True.

Huddled in a simpering ball, Zantza reflected that the women here were

just

like those back home. Except more vicious.

Heh

"Well, I thought that maybe I ought to just return to basics and er, would
you mind very much if I ravage you?"

"YES!"

"How about if I do it gently?"

"How do you ravage gently?"

"Good point but I think I could pull it off.

Heh

*****

The dejected Zantza sat in front of an S&M club holding up a little

placard

that read "genuine

Genuine

 demon of lust will rape and ravage for your pleasure". He

figured that if he had to ravish a woman, it might as well be someone who
wanted to be ravished.

Good point.

 Still, all he got were giggles and a few compliments

for his "costume". Zantza hung his head low in resignation.

"Ara, ara," came a sweet voice.

His eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. Belldandy? Here?! He turned and
looked up and UP at a woman who might have been Belldandy.........if she

had

been genetically crossed with Thor.

Now that would be a sight to behold.

"Why do you look so sad Mr Demon?"

sad, Mr.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Well when you call yourself 'Megadeath' and walk around with a weapon
capable of inflicting grievous bodily harm, people presume that you have a
violent personality."

Good point.

"Oh my, this is just a sideline for me. I'm really just a housewife."

And this was the start of a beautiful friendship.............

Hehe. Cute ending. I enjoyed it. Nice work.

D.B. Sommer

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