My apologies for posting this twice, but the last copy I sent to FFML was
truncated at the beginning of the last scene. Hopefully, this copy will
reach you as a complete and intact work.
The following story is based on the fictional characters, situations,
and settings created by Rumiko Takahashi for her Ranma 1/2 series of manga.
They are here used without permission.
=================================================================
Divided I Stand: Chapter 7 Revision 1
=================================================================
The trouble with being a panda, Genma Saotome thought, is that I have
to eat nearly all day just to stay alive. If I am not eating, I'm drinking
water--lots and lots of water. Eating bamboo is thirsty work for some
reason. Even worse, I have to move slowly and I heal even more slowly. The
trade-off is that I get to lie still a lot. I like lying still. Why, I'm
better at that than martial artists ten times my age. That pika is about to
become dessert without me having to chase it, just because I'm so good at
lying still.
Genma's plot quickly bore fruit. The poor little pika blundered to
within easy striking distance of the motionless Saotome. With a movement of
his right fore leg that he knew would have been little more than a black
blur to the casual observer, he slammed his heavy paw down onto the head of
the unsuspecting pika. It never so much as squeaked before it died.
"Whoa! It's really fast!" the reporter exclaimed. She was sitting
with the scientist observing Genma. Her cameraman stood behind them, running
his camera right next to the camera that belonged to the zoo. "Are all of
them that quick?"
"No, this one seems to be a genetic throwback," the scientist
replied, pausing to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "We suspect that
he is more like the pandas that were extant a few thousand years ago. That's
why we are so eager to get him into the breeding program."
"Hoping to bolster a declining gene pool, huh?"
Sorry, girls, Genma thought as he sat up and began to munch on the
cute and cuddly pika like a fat kid eating a candy bar. Nodoka would never
allow it. Well, I mean she knows about my occasional lapses. She's takes a
kind perverse pride in those, but she'd never go for me having an affair
with a panda. You folks still don't have clue about a panda's hearing
ability, do you? Of course, none of us can see worth a shit during the day.
I like these pika. They taste a lot like rabbit. Gotta remember not to mess
with the yellow ones, though. They shock the daylights out of ya when you
hit 'em.
"Yes," the scientist answered with a nod of her head. "This fellow is
a bit larger than most pandas and several of his anatomical features are
significantly different. For instance, the vestigial heel pads on his hind
feet are quite a bit larger than normal."
"Vestigial heel pads?" the reporter asked.
"Unlike most ursines, pandas lack normal heel pads on their hind
feet. This characteristic makes their tracks unique and easily spotted in
the wild."
"Oh," the reporter answered, sounding considerably less than excited
by this information.
Typical reporter, Genma thought. She didn't get it about the heel pad
business. These scientific types are gonna want to hang on to my ass for the
next hundred years if they can. I wonder where they are going to want to
ship me first this time? Paris maybe? I wouldn't mind that too much. I could
slip out of the zoo there at night and...too bad I have to go hunt down the
Master.
"Aren't ursines bears?" the reporter asked. "I thought pandas were in
the raccoon family."
The scientist grinned before answering. "There's an ongoing debate
about all that. Geneticists might be able to clear it all up for us later in
this decade. At least, we are hoping they might."
"I see," the reporter said, still not very enthused. She picked up
the scientists clipboard, then got excited. "Do all of them eat this much?
Seventy kilograms of bamboo, five kilograms of daikon, two kilograms of
yams, three kilograms of carrots, six pika and two dozen goose eggs? Goose
eggs? All of this for just today?"
Hey! You forget, dummy, I haven't been able to get in a full day of
eating for two days now. I'm behind! Genma thought with a mental snort. I
wish I knew which station she works for. I'd send her a bottle of peroxide.
"The goose eggs are part of a population control program. We have
quite a few waterfowl running loose in the zoo. If we don't pick up the
eggs, we soon have far more birds than we can feed."
"But he eats so much!" the reporter exclaimed, "And besides, I
thought pandas were strictly vegetarian."
Genma grinned in the direction of his observers as he licked his
chops and made his way over to the fake stream running through his pen. At
least this zoo is good about making sure the water is cold and fresh. The
last one gave me warm water in a pan and it was never enough. I got
constipated. Genma sniffed the phony stream. Hah! It's real mountain water,
too. No chlorine! I love it.
The scientist shook her head. "Pandas, as other ursines are, are
actually omnivores. They adapted to eating bamboo because of their habitat."
"Huh?" the reporter noised, sounding surprised.
"Old growth cloud forest with dense bamboo understory does not have
much in the way of prey animals, or fruiting vegetation at the ground level.
Pandas adapted to eating bamboo because there was plenty of it available."
Actually, Genma thought, an old growth forest is a nice place to
visit, but not the sort of place you really want to live. Living in 'em is
tough, even for a panda.
"Oh, really?" the reporter asked, sounding surprised now. "I thought
forests were where most animals lived."
The scientist nodded her head and replied, "Forests that are what we
call secondary or tertiary growth actually harbor many animals. Those kinds
of forests only occur in nature as a result of fires. Cloud forests,
tropical rain forests, and temperate rain forests achieve old growth status
more often in nature because they seldom burn."
Baka! Genma thought at the reporter as she gave the scientist a
puzzled stare.
"Well, they stay too wet to burn, you see," the scientist said in the
careful way one might explain to a four year old.
Genma watched with amusement as the reporter struggled to assimilate
these mind-boggling facts.
"The trees in those kinds of forests grow so tall, and shade the
ground so effectively, that only a limited number of plant species can
survive beneath them," the scientist continued once the reporter showed
signs of recovering. "This means that such forest can only support very
limited number of animals. So, while both the giant panda and the red panda
are opportunistic consumers, they've been known to eat fish, insects,
berries, vines, irises, crocus, mushrooms, even rice grass, ninety percent
or more of what they consume on any given day is bamboo, because bamboo is
the single most abundant food source available to them."
Like all good Saotome, Genma thought. We'll eat anything, even some
of the stuff that bites us first. Snakes are pretty good eating too,
provided you remember which end to grab 'em by.
"Why is he drinking so much water?" the reporter asked, sounding
slightly alarmed. "He's swelling up like a balloon."
"Don't worry," the scientists said in an amused voice. "He won't pop.
One of the truly strange and wonderful things about pandas is that their
digestive tract has not adapted as well as their teeth to their diet. He
needs a lot of water to deal with the bamboo. It helps him push all that
fiber through his system. Pandas need several gallons of fresh cold water
each and every day."
You got that right, sister! You don't know what true misery is until
you have a logjam in your gut! Genma thought as he ambled back over to the
bed of soft grass the zoo had provided for him. Now, if you ladies will
excuse me, I've had a hard day's eating and I need my rest.
The reporter stared at Genma, her eyes wide with wonder. The
scientist wet her index finger and checked the wind. It was blowing across
Genma's pen and into her and the reporter's faces.
"He'll nap for the next hour or so, now," the scientist said.
And fart! Genma silently added, wishing he could give the scientist a
real smile. Big bubbly juicy farts! And, just think of all those eggs I ate
today!
"Why don't we go down to the coffee shop," the scientist added. "My
treat."
The reporter nodded her head enthusiastically in answer.
Reporters are a lot like us Saotome, Genma thought. We never turn
down a freebie either. Maybe tomorrow they'll bring me some sweet corn. It
tastes even better when I'm in panda form and I eat the whole thing, husk,
kernels and cob. I just wish the silk wouldn't hang up in my teeth.
Genma once again lay very still, but he did not go to sleep. His
injuries, for all the concern shown about them, had been superficial, the
worst one being a cut on his back. It had required a few stitches.
They'll be pulling these stitches tomorrow, judging from the way this
cut itches, he thought. Then they'll get serious about shipping me off to
another zoo to be part of their breeding program. I can't let them do that.
I have to find the Master before he finds the Eye of Mefusutafuriisu. Soun
and I were fools for doing what we did. We should have cut the old man's
throat and watched him bleed out before stuffing him into that cave.
Instead, we relied on the dynamite to kill him. It was even more foolish of
us to let him run loose once he got out of the cave and came back. He's been
out long enough now to find out the damned Eye hasn't been destroyed.
Well, actually, it's worse. I should have personally made sure that
it was destroyed. I knew all too well how the thing worked its will on
people. I should have known that Soun's wife would have sold it instead of
throwing it into the sea as she promised. She was the tightest fisted woman
I ever met accept for Nabiki, maybe. I don't think she ever wasted so much
as ten yen, let alone threw that much away. She said she would ride out with
her father on his fishing boat and throw it into deep water! Now look where
we are. She's dead, the Master is back, and for all I know, he's already
killed all the others belonging to the Eye. If he is the last of its slaves,
we are in deep, deep trouble. I should have taken a hammer to the damned
thing!
Who am I kidding? I wouldn't have been able to do it. The Eye would
have taken me over just as it took over everyone else that ever touched it.
I've got to remember to tell the boy about that. He must destroy it without
ever touching it with any part of his body. I think he'll have the strength
to do it. His mother, Buddha bless her, gave him her willpower. Losing her
will was probably what happened to Soun's wife. She touched it somehow, and
it convinced her to sell it to that museum instead of throwing it into the
sea. Besides tempting her with the money, it probably told her that Soun
would drown if she threw it into the water. She had already lost so many kin
to the sea, I'm sure the Eye would have used that kind of lie on her. Soun
is one of the few men on this earth that can swim better than I can.
Genma curled up in the manner a panda typically will curl up for
sleep, but sleep eluded him.
Soun hasn't been able to think this thing through. The Eye was almost
certainly responsible for his wife's death. Accident, my ass! That had to
have been a slave of the Eye driving that car that day. The Eye didn't want
to take the chance she might tell Soun or me about what she had really done
with it. I should have realized that something had gone wrong with our plan
the day I heard about her getting hit by a car. Now another generation of
our family is at risk of being plagued by that cursed thing. I won't have
that. I WON'T! We have a chance to be rid of it and we shall, even if I have
to die in the process.
================================================
Soun Tendo sighed as his daughter ran for the dojo in tears with
Ranko close behind her. Well, I wonder how this is going to play out? he
thought. The boy is faced with a bewildering set of problems and it doesn't
help that my Akane is such a hothead. He looked back over toward Ranma where
he sat in a folding chair. The boy was covering his eyes with one hand,
looking rather forlorn. Come on, Ranma, Soun thought. I don't know what you
are going to do either, but I know you'll find a way. You always do. You're
better at that than even your father is.
Soun watched as Ranma slowly got to his feet and tramped toward the
dojo. He's got that Saotome scowl on his face, Soun thought, feeling more
than a twinge of alarm in his chest. That's not good. This is a time when he
needs to be able to talk, but he's no more talkative than Genma is when he's
like this.
Ranma walked on by, as Soun looked on in silence. Ryuu Kumon and
Ryouga Hibiki came and stood on either side of Soun and the three of them
watched as Ranma slid the shoji of the dojo open and stepped inside. Soun's
heart began to sink once he saw the distinct signs of Ranma's battle aura
begin to flare.
They are either going to have one hell of a kiss and make up party
after this is over, or they are going to finish what the typhoon started,
Soun thought. I wonder if I should try to warn the neighbors?
The shoji suddenly slammed shut and they could hear Ranma shout,
"Just what in the hell do ya think you're doin', huh?"
"What do you think, Saotome?" Ranko's voice replied. "I'm doin' what
I gotta do to keep the three of us together for as long as I can."
Soun felt his eyebrows creep upwards in surprise at this. For as long
as I can? he wondered. What's going on?
"What do you mean by that, Ranko?" Ranma bellowed.
"Exactly what I said, Ranma!" Ranko shouted back. "I'm running out of
time and you know it, baka!"
"Yeah, okay, but that don't mean you should...should be doin' this
kind of stuff!"
Soun's demeanor changed considerably. Stuff? What sort of "stuff"? he
wondered.
"And why not?"
"Because you're a girl, dammit!"
"Am I, now? And was I a girl whenever I got splashed three days ago,
or was I a guy stuck in girl's body?"
"You know what I mean!"
"Yeah! I do know what you mean and as it turns out, I was wrong!"
This was followed by a prolonged silence, until Akane said in a
surprisingly soft voice, "Sit down, Ranma. The three of us have to talk."
"Yeah, Saotome! Sit down before I hafta make ya!" Ranko said with
real steel in her voice.
"Oh, yeah, right! Like you could!" Ranma answered.
Ranma's tone put Soun in mind of a sword leaving its scabbard.
Shortly thereafter, a meaty thud shook the entire dojo from its foundation
posts to the ridge of its roof. Several of the shingles rattled.
"Ow! I forgot about thinkin' up that move!" Ranma's voice said,
sounding chagrined.
"I thought you might have, Saotome," Ranko replied with a giggle.
"After all, _you_ don't have the girl problem anymore. I do."
"That hurt, ya know," Ranma said.
"Well, if you're gonna be a baby about it, be a little less noisy,
will ya? Mom might hear all this boo-hoo shit of yours," Ranko replied, then
came nothing but silence.
Soun shuddered at the thought of Nodoka getting involved and could
feel both Kumon and Hibiki shudder on either side of him. Nodoka had that
kind of effect on men and neither their age nor their race seemed to matter.
I guess I had better talk to Nabiki about having adoption papers
drawn up for Ranko just in case. Nodoka can be hard to second guess. She may
not like having a female version of her son running around, but then again,
she might be delighted to have a daughter. There is just no way to read the
woman. They've gotten awfully quiet in there. Perhaps I had better get a
little closer and listen in. It wouldn't do to let circumstances take me by
surprise.
Just as Soun took a step forward, the shoji slammed open and a
terrible apparition floated out into the yard. It had huge burning eyes
beneath beetling brows, and its jaws sported fangs nearly a meter long. Its
skin was a sickly glowing green color, while tentacles of bluish-black hair
floated around its head in oily coils. The wind blowing off the thing was
tainted with the taste of ozone, brimstone, and dirty brass. A snake-like
tongue lashed the air as it spoke.
"Anyone coming near this dojo dies!" the apparition howled, then it
simply winked out of existence and the shoji slammed shut again.
Soun Tendo, who had frozen himself into solid immobility at mid-step
when the apparition ballooned into existence, looked around and found
himself standing alone in the yard on one foot. Kumon and Hibiki had simply
vanished. Thirty seconds or so later, Soun's mind slipped back into gear.
"Did you see that?" Soun cried out in a joyful voice as he began
dancing in a circle. "That was Akane! Oh, I am _so_ proud of my baby girl!
She finally got that technique right!"
He froze himself solid again at the sound of the shoji sliding open
behind him.
"Ahem! Perhaps a cup of tea to celebrate this happy event is in
order," he said as he ambled toward the house as casually as he could.
Behind him, the shoji once again slid shut.
================================================
On the side of the house opposite the dojo, Ryuu Kumon and Ryouga
Hibiki sat on the ground, leaning back against the siding. Both of them were
as white as sheets and both were having a hard time catching their breath.
"Wha...What the hell was that?" Ryuu croaked out.
"I...I can't believe it!" Ryouga exclaimed.
"What's not to believe, Hibiki?" Ryuu asked. "That thing nearly bit
our heads off!"
Ryouga shook his head no as he waved one hand to indicate the
negative. "That was Akane. She used her dad's demon's head attack."
"Her dad does something like that?"
Ryouga nodded his head as he answered, "Yeah, but his isn't anywhere
near that scary."
"You know, with as much as we got done around here today, I think if
I stay, I'll just be another mouth for Tendo-san to feed," Ryuu said.
Ryouga nodded assent and the two sat in silence for a moment, then
Ryouga spoke up, "Why don't you come back to the farm with me? We've got
plenty of work to do."
"Yeah? What does the job pay?"
"Next to nothing over room and board, but you'll have me and a dozen
other good sparring partners to practice with."
"That's the best offer I've had in months," Ryuu said with a grin as
he clapped Ryouga on the shoulder. "Stay right here, Hibiki. I'll go get our
gear."
"Don't take too long," Ryouga said.
"Don't worry! I won't!"
================================================
Pansuto Tarou sat by a fire where he had camped on the bank of a
mountain river, roasting fish and waiting for his rice to finish cooking. He
wished he hadn't bothered with the rice.
"Dammit!" he muttered aloud. "I know better. It takes two times
forever for to cook rice at this altitude."
He turned his fish and leaned back against the vertical face of the
boulder he had chosen for a reflector, savoring the warmth of the fire as it
bounced off the rock and washed around him. His eyes widened with amazement
as a little brown bird glided to a landing on the ground between himself and
the fire. It had a small envelope in its beak. It dropped the envelope, then
flitted away.
Tarou stared suspiciously at the envelope for a long time before
touching it. Finally, his curiosity won out and he picked it up. It proved
to be a letter from Happosai. It read:
"Hello, Tarou, my dear boy. I thought you might be interested to know
that Ranma and Genma Saotome are doing their absolute best to kill me. They
are hot on my trail right now. Of course, if they succeed, you'll never get
your name changed.
All the best,
Happosai."
The truth was, Pansuto Tarou would have been more than happy to kill
the diminutive Master of Martial Arts and Evil himself, but only after he
had forced the old monster to change his name. He would love to watch as the
Saotome roasted the old man alive, if there were anyone other than Happosai
that could change his name. As matters stood, he didn't dare let the Saotome
send the old man onward.
Tarou sighed in disgust.
"Well, it looks like I'm headed for Japan again," he said aloud to
the empty countryside. "As much as I hate that old fart, I've got to go save
his sorry ass."
================================================
Happosai sat down by the fire he had built on a cliff overlooking a
mountain river. He had a dozen sweet fish skewered onto sticks and had them
roasting over the flames, while a yam roasted over coals. He glanced over at
his partner-cum-prisoner, formerly the curator of the Tokyo Museum of
Gemology, and grinned evilly at the man as he took one of the sweet fish and
bit into it. The man was famished and cold. He all but drooled as he watched
Happosai eat. The frail curator tested his bonds again in an effort to get
nearer to the fire. Happosai laughed at him in the red light of a rapidly
dying day.
(He is a danger to us!) the voice in Happosai's head observed.
"I know, Master," Happosai answered aloud, "but not for much longer."
(He causes you to leave a trail that might be followed by a skilled
tracker.)
"Hah! Genma Saotome was never worth a damn at tracking anything, try
as I did to teach him!" Happosai answered. "By the time he catches up, it
will be too late."
(There are others...)
"I know, Master," Happosai said. "I'm counting on that."
(You should be more circumspect, Happosai. The course you have chosen
is most dangerous.)
"And promises the greatest rewards as well," Happosai answered.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
(As you will, my apprentice, but remember the rules. There will be no
mercy granted if you fail.)
"I understand, Master," Happosai said, as he finished consuming the
last of the sweet fish. The former curator sagged in despair upon seeing
this. Happosai enjoyed watching him droop.
I guess I'll wait until its dark and he's gone to sleep, Happosai thought.
That would be the kindest thing to do, but what for? I'd be depriving the
fool of one last thrill. Isn't that equally cruel?
Happosai smiled benignly at the curator as he walked over to him and
said, "I guess you're pretty hungry, aren't you, smart boy?"
The man gulped and nodded his head.
"I was going to let you have that yam," Happosai said as he cut the
rope tethering the curator to a tree, "but I think you need a little
protein, don't you?"
The curator stared at Happosai, obviously baffled. Happosai suddenly
found himself despising the skinny little man with his balding head, his
bulging eyes and thick glasses.
"Wouldn't you like some roasted fish to go with that yam?" Happosai
asked in a kindly voice.
The curator eagerly nodded his head.
"Then go catch your own!" Happosai exclaimed as he pitched the
unsuspecting curator over the side of the cliff. He laughed at the glimpse
he got of the terror-stricken man's face in the instant before he plummeted
toward the river, far, far below. Happosai looked over the edge as the man
fell and shouted after him, "Remember to get your hands in close to 'em
before you try to make any sudden moves!"
The man never even so much as screamed. Happosai laughed anyway,
delighting in the gruesomely terminal joke he had just played on his
erstwhile rival and one time collaborator.
"The others will be working their way up this cliff tomorrow, and I'll be
waiting for them," Happosai said to the gathering night. "They'll never know
what hit 'em!"
He walked over to the fire and tested the yam. It was nice and
tender.
"Ah, this one is perfect!" Happosai said around a mouthful of the
roasted tuber. "Too bad I didn't bring any butter."
================================================
The trouble with being a panda, Genma Saotome thought, is that I have
to eat nearly all day just to stay alive. If I am not eating, I'm drinking
water--lots and lots of water. Eating bamboo is thirsty work for some
reason. Even worse, I have to move slowly and I heal even more slowly. The
trade-off is that I get to lie still a lot. I like lying still. Why, I'm
better at that than martial artists ten times my age. That pika is about to
become dessert without me having to chase it, just because I'm so good at
lying still.
Genma's plot quickly bore fruit. The poor little pika blundered to
within easy striking distance of the motionless Saotome. With a movement of
his right fore leg that he knew would have been little more than a black
blur to the casual observer, he slammed his heavy paw down onto the head of
the unsuspecting pika. It never so much as squeaked before it died.
"Whoa! It's really fast!" the reporter exclaimed. She was sitting
with the scientist observing Genma. Her cameraman stood behind them, running
his camera right next to the camera that belonged to the zoo. "Are all of
them that quick?"
"No, this one seems to be a genetic throwback," the scientist
replied, pausing to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "We suspect that
he is more like the pandas that were extant a few thousand years ago. That's
why we are so eager to get him into the breeding program."
"Hoping to bolster a declining gene pool, huh?"
Sorry, girls, Genma thought as he sat up and began to munch on the
cute and cuddly pika like a fat kid eating a candy bar. Nodoka would never
allow it. Well, I mean she knows about my occasional lapses. She's takes a
kind perverse pride in those, but she'd never go for me having an affair
with a panda. You folks still don't have clue about a panda's hearing
ability, do you? Of course, none of us can see worth a shit during the day.
I like these pika. They taste a lot like rabbit. Gotta remember not to mess
with the yellow ones, though. They shock the daylights out of ya when you
hit 'em.
"Yes," the scientist answered with a nod of her head. "This fellow is
a bit larger than most pandas and several of his anatomical features are
significantly different. For instance, the vestigial heel pads on his hind
feet are quite a bit larger than normal."
"Vestigial heel pads?" the reporter asked.
"Unlike most ursines, pandas lack normal heel pads on their hind
feet. This characteristic makes their tracks unique and easily spotted in
the wild."
"Oh," the reporter answered, sounding considerably less than excited
by this information.
Typical reporter, Genma thought. She didn't get it about the heel pad
business. These scientific types are gonna want to hang on to my ass for the
next hundred years if they can. I wonder where they are going to want to
ship me first this time? Paris maybe? I wouldn't mind that too much. I could
slip out of the zoo there at night and...too bad I have to go hunt down the
Master.
"Aren't ursines bears?" the reporter asked. "I thought pandas were in
the raccoon family."
The scientist grinned before answering. "There's an ongoing debate
about all that. Geneticists might be able to clear it all up for us later in
this decade. At least, we are hoping they might."
"I see," the reporter said, still not very enthused. She picked up
the scientists clipboard, then got excited. "Do all of them eat this much?
Seventy kilograms of bamboo, five kilograms of daikon, two kilograms of
yams, three kilograms of carrots, six pika and two dozen goose eggs? Goose
eggs? All of this for just today?"
Hey! You forget, dummy, I haven't been able to get in a full day of
eating for two days now. I'm behind! Genma thought with a mental snort. I
wish I knew which station she works for. I'd send her a bottle of peroxide.
"The goose eggs are part of a population control program. We have
quite a few waterfowl running loose in the zoo. If we don't pick up the
eggs, we soon have far more birds than we can feed."
"But he eats so much!" the reporter exclaimed, "And besides, I
thought pandas were strictly vegetarian."
Genma grinned in the direction of his observers as he licked his
chops and made his way over to the fake stream running through his pen. At
least this zoo is good about making sure the water is cold and fresh. The
last one gave me warm water in a pan and it was never enough. I got
constipated. Genma sniffed the phony stream. Hah! It's real mountain water,
too. No chlorine! I love it.
The scientist shook her head. "Pandas, as other ursines are, are
actually omnivores. They adapted to eating bamboo because of their habitat."
"Huh?" the reporter noised, sounding surprised.
"Old growth cloud forest with dense bamboo understory does not have
much in the way of prey animals, or fruiting vegetation at the ground level.
Pandas adapted to eating bamboo because there was plenty of it available."
Actually, Genma thought, an old growth forest is a nice place to
visit, but not the sort of place you really want to live. Living in 'em is
tough, even for a panda.
"Oh, really?" the reporter asked, sounding surprised now. "I thought
forests were where most animals lived."
The scientist nodded her head and replied, "Forests that are what we
call secondary or tertiary growth actually harbor many animals. Those kinds
of forests only occur in nature as a result of fires. Cloud forests,
tropical rain forests, and temperate rain forests achieve old growth status
more often in nature because they seldom burn."
Baka! Genma thought at the reporter as she gave the scientist a
puzzled stare.
"Well, they stay too wet to burn, you see," the scientist said in the
careful way one might explain to a four year old.
Genma watched with amusement as the reporter struggled to assimilate
these mind-boggling facts.
"The trees in those kinds of forests grow so tall, and shade the
ground so effectively, that only a limited number of plant species can
survive beneath them," the scientist continued once the reporter showed
signs of recovering. "This means that such forest can only support very
limited number of animals. So, while both the giant panda and the red panda
are opportunistic consumers, they've been known to eat fish, insects,
berries, vines, irises, crocus, mushrooms, even rice grass, ninety percent
or more of what they consume on any given day is bamboo, because bamboo is
the single most abundant food source available to them."
Like all good Saotome, Genma thought. We'll eat anything, even some
of the stuff that bites us first. Snakes are pretty good eating too,
provided you remember which end to grab 'em by.
"Why is he drinking so much water?" the reporter asked, sounding
slightly alarmed. "He's swelling up like a balloon."
"Don't worry," the scientists said in an amused voice. "He won't pop.
One of the truly strange and wonderful things about pandas is that their
digestive tract has not adapted as well as their teeth to their diet. He
needs a lot of water to deal with the bamboo. It helps him push all that
fiber through his system. Pandas need several gallons of fresh cold water
each and every day."
You got that right, sister! You don't know what true misery is until
you have a logjam in your gut! Genma thought as he ambled back over to the
bed of soft grass the zoo had provided for him. Now, if you ladies will
excuse me, I've had a hard day's eating and I need my rest.
The reporter stared at Genma, her eyes wide with wonder. The
scientist wet her index finger and checked the wind. It was blowing across
Genma's pen and into her and the reporter's faces.
"He'll nap for the next hour or so, now," the scientist said.
And fart! Genma silently added, wishing he could give the scientist a
real smile. Big bubbly juicy farts! And, just think of all those eggs I ate
today!
"Why don't we go down to the coffee shop," the scientist added. "My
treat."
The reporter nodded her head enthusiastically in answer.
Reporters are a lot like us Saotome, Genma thought. We never turn
down a freebie either. Maybe tomorrow they'll bring me some sweet corn. It
tastes even better when I'm in panda form and I eat the whole thing, husk,
kernels and cob. I just wish the silk wouldn't hang up in my teeth.
Genma once again lay very still, but he did not go to sleep. His
injuries, for all the concern shown about them, had been superficial, the
worst one being a cut on his back. It had required a few stitches.
They'll be pulling these stitches tomorrow, judging from the way this
cut itches, he thought. Then they'll get serious about shipping me off to
another zoo to be part of their breeding program. I can't let them do that.
I have to find the Master before he finds the Eye of Mefusutafuriisu. Soun
and I were fools for doing what we did. We should have cut the old man's
throat and watched him bleed out before stuffing him into that cave.
Instead, we relied on the dynamite to kill him. It was even more foolish of
us to let him run loose once he got out of the cave and came back. He's been
out long enough now to find out the damned Eye hasn't been destroyed.
Well, actually, it's worse. I should have personally made sure that
it was destroyed. I knew all too well how the thing worked its will on
people. I should have known that Soun's wife would have sold it instead of
throwing it into the sea as she promised. She was the tightest fisted woman
I ever met accept for Nabiki, maybe. I don't think she ever wasted so much
as ten yen, let alone threw that much away. She said she would ride out with
her father on his fishing boat and throw it into deep water! Now look where
we are. She's dead, the Master is back, and for all I know, he's already
killed all the others belonging to the Eye. If he is the last of its slaves,
we are in deep, deep trouble. I should have taken a hammer to the damned
thing!
Who am I kidding? I wouldn't have been able to do it. The Eye would
have taken me over just as it took over everyone else that ever touched it.
I've got to remember to tell the boy about that. He must destroy it without
ever touching it with any part of his body. I think he'll have the strength
to do it. His mother, Buddha bless her, gave him her willpower. Losing her
will was probably what happened to Soun's wife. She touched it somehow, and
it convinced her to sell it to that museum instead of throwing it into the
sea. Besides tempting her with the money, it probably told her that Soun
would drown if she threw it into the water. She had already lost so many kin
to the sea, I'm sure the Eye would have used that kind of lie on her. Soun
is one of the few men on this earth that can swim better than I can.
Genma curled up in the manner a panda typically will curl up for
sleep, but sleep eluded him.
Soun hasn't been able to think this thing through. The Eye was almost
certainly responsible for his wife's death. Accident, my ass! That had to
have been a slave of the Eye driving that car that day. The Eye didn't want
to take the chance she might tell Soun or me about what she had really done
with it. I should have realized that something had gone wrong with our plan
the day I heard about her getting hit by a car. Now another generation of
our family is at risk of being plagued by that cursed thing. I won't have
that. I WON'T! We have a chance to be rid of it and we shall, even if I have
to die in the process.
================================================
Soun Tendo sighed as his daughter ran for the dojo in tears with
Ranko close behind her. Well, I wonder how this is going to play out? he
thought. The boy is faced with a bewildering set of problems and it doesn't
help that my Akane is such a hothead. He looked back over toward Ranma where
he sat in a folding chair. The boy was covering his eyes with one hand,
looking rather forlorn. Come on, Ranma, Soun thought. I don't know what you
are going to do either, but I know you'll find a way. You always do. You're
better at that than even your father is.
Soun watched as Ranma slowly got to his feet and tramped toward the
dojo. He's got that Saotome scowl on his face, Soun thought, feeling more
than a twinge of alarm in his chest. That's not good. This is a time when he
needs to be able to talk, but he's no more talkative than Genma is when he's
like this.
Ranma walked on by, as Soun looked on in silence. Ryuu Kumon and
Ryouga Hibiki came and stood on either side of Soun and the three of them
watched as Ranma slid the shoji of the dojo open and stepped inside. Soun's
heart began to sink once he saw the distinct signs of Ranma's battle aura
begin to flare.
They are either going to have one hell of a kiss and make up party
after this is over, or they are going to finish what the typhoon started,
Soun thought. I wonder if I should try to warn the neighbors?
The shoji suddenly slammed shut and they could hear Ranma shout,
"Just what in the hell do ya think you're doin', huh?"
"What do you think, Saotome?" Ranko's voice replied. "I'm doin' what
I gotta do to keep the three of us together for as long as I can."
Soun felt his eyebrows creep upwards in surprise at this. For as long
as I can? he wondered. What's going on?
"What do you mean by that, Ranko?" Ranma bellowed.
"Exactly what I said, Ranma!" Ranko shouted back. "I'm running out of
time and you know it, baka!"
"Yeah, okay, but that don't mean you should...should be doin' this
kind of stuff!"
Soun's demeanor changed considerably. Stuff? What sort of "stuff"? he
wondered.
"And why not?"
"Because you're a girl, dammit!"
"Am I, now? And was I a girl whenever I got splashed three days ago,
or was I a guy stuck in girl's body?"
"You know what I mean!"
"Yeah! I do know what you mean and as it turns out, I was wrong!"
This was followed by a prolonged silence, until Akane said in a
surprisingly soft voice, "Sit down, Ranma. The three of us have to talk."
"Yeah, Saotome! Sit down before I hafta make ya!" Ranko said with
real steel in her voice.
"Oh, yeah, right! Like you could!" Ranma answered.
Ranma's tone put Soun in mind of a sword leaving its scabbard.
Shortly thereafter, a meaty thud shook the entire dojo from its foundation
posts to the ridge of its roof. Several of the shingles rattled.
"Ow! I forgot about thinkin' up that move!" Ranma's voice said,
sounding chagrined.
"I thought you might have, Saotome," Ranko replied with a giggle.
"After all, _you_ don't have the girl problem anymore. I do."
"That hurt, ya know," Ranma said.
"Well, if you're gonna be a baby about it, be a little less noisy,
will ya? Mom might hear all this boo-hoo shit of yours," Ranko replied, then
came nothing but silence.
Soun shuddered at the thought of Nodoka getting involved and could
feel both Kumon and Hibiki shudder on either side of him. Nodoka had that
kind of effect on men and neither their age nor their race seemed to matter.
I guess I had better talk to Nabiki about having adoption papers
drawn up for Ranko just in case. Nodoka can be hard to second guess. She may
not like having a female version of her son running around, but then again,
she might be delighted to have a daughter. There is just no way to read the
woman. They've gotten awfully quiet in there. Perhaps I had better get a
little closer and listen in. It wouldn't do to let circumstances take me by
surprise.
Just as Soun took a step forward, the shoji slammed open and a
terrible apparition floated out into the yard. It had huge burning eyes
beneath beetling brows, and its jaws sported fangs nearly a meter long. Its
skin was a sickly glowing green color, while tentacles of bluish-black hair
floated around its head in oily coils. The wind blowing off the thing was
tainted with the taste of ozone, brimstone, and dirty brass. A snake-like
tongue lashed the air as it spoke.
"Anyone coming near this dojo dies!" the apparition howled, then it
simply winked out of existence and the shoji slammed shut again.
Soun Tendo, who had frozen himself into solid immobility at mid-step
when the apparition ballooned into existence, looked around and found
himself standing alone in the yard on one foot. Kumon and Hibiki had simply
vanished. Thirty seconds or so later, Soun's mind slipped back into gear.
"Did you see that?" Soun cried out in a joyful voice as he began
dancing in a circle. "That was Akane! Oh, I am _so_ proud of my baby girl!
She finally got that technique right!"
He froze himself solid again at the sound of the shoji sliding open
behind him.
"Ahem! Perhaps a cup of tea to celebrate this happy event is in
order," he said as he ambled toward the house as casually as he could.
Behind him, the shoji once again slid shut.
================================================
On the side of the house opposite the dojo, Ryuu Kumon and Ryouga
Hibiki sat on the ground, leaning back against the siding. Both of them were
as white as sheets and both were having a hard time catching their breath.
"Wha...What the hell was that?" Ryuu croaked out.
"I...I can't believe it!" Ryouga exclaimed.
"What's not to believe, Hibiki?" Ryuu asked. "That thing nearly bit
our heads off!"
Ryouga shook his head no as he waved one hand to indicate the
negative. "That was Akane. She used her dad's demon's head attack."
"Her dad does something like that?"
Ryouga nodded his head as he answered, "Yeah, but his isn't anywhere
near that scary."
"You know, with as much as we got done around here today, I think if
I stay, I'll just be another mouth for Tendo-san to feed," Ryuu said.
Ryouga nodded assent and the two sat in silence for a moment, then
Ryouga spoke up, "Why don't you come back to the farm with me? We've got
plenty of work to do."
"Yeah? What does the job pay?"
"Next to nothing over room and board, but you'll have me and a dozen
other good sparring partners to practice with."
"That's the best offer I've had in months," Ryuu said with a grin as
he clapped Ryouga on the shoulder. "Stay right here, Hibiki. I'll go get our
gear."
"Don't take too long," Ryouga said.
"Don't worry! I won't!"
================================================
Pansuto Tarou sat by a fire where he had camped on the bank of a
mountain river, roasting fish and waiting for his rice to finish cooking. He
wished he hadn't bothered with the rice.
"Dammit!" he muttered aloud. "I know better. It takes two times
forever for to cook rice at this altitude."
He turned his fish and leaned back against the vertical face of the
boulder he had chosen for a reflector, savoring the warmth of the fire as it
bounced off the rock and washed around him. His eyes widened with amazement
as a little brown bird glided to a landing on the ground between himself and
the fire. It had a small envelope in its beak. It dropped the envelope, then
flitted away.
Tarou stared suspiciously at the envelope for a long time before
touching it. Finally, his curiosity won out and he picked it up. It proved
to be a letter from Happosai. It read:
"Hello, Tarou, my dear boy. I thought you might be interested to know
that Ranma and Genma Saotome are doing their absolute best to kill me. They
are hot on my trail right now. Of course, if they succeed, you'll never get
your name changed.
All the best,
Happosai."
The truth was, Pansuto Tarou would have been more than happy to kill
the diminutive Master of Martial Arts and Evil himself, but only after he
had forced the old monster to change his name. He would love to watch as the
Saotome roasted the old man alive, if there were anyone other than Happosai
that could change his name. As matters stood, he didn't dare let the Saotome
send the old man onward.
Tarou sighed in disgust.
"Well, it looks like I'm headed for Japan again," he said aloud to
the empty countryside. "As much as I hate that old fart, I've got to go save
his sorry ass."
================================================
Happosai sat down by the fire he had built on a cliff overlooking a
mountain river. He had a dozen sweet fish skewered onto sticks and had them
roasting over the flames, while a yam roasted over coals. He glanced over at
his partner-cum-prisoner, formerly the curator of the Tokyo Museum of
Gemology, and grinned evilly at the man as he took one of the sweet fish and
bit into it. The man was famished and cold. He all but drooled as he watched
Happosai eat. The frail curator tested his bonds again in an effort to get
nearer to the fire. Happosai laughed at him in the red light of a rapidly
dying day.
(He is a danger to us!) the voice in Happosai's head observed.
"I know, Master," Happosai answered aloud, "but not for much longer."
(He causes you to leave a trail that might be followed by a skilled
tracker.)
"Hah! Genma Saotome was never worth a damn at tracking anything, try
as I did to teach him!" Happosai answered. "By the time he catches up, it
will be too late."
(There are others...)
"I know, Master," Happosai said. "I'm counting on that."
(You should be more circumspect, Happosai. The course you have chosen
is most dangerous.)
"And promises the greatest rewards as well," Happosai answered.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
(As you will, my apprentice, but remember the rules. There will be no
mercy granted if you fail.)
"I understand, Master," Happosai said, as he finished consuming the
last of the sweet fish. The former curator sagged in despair upon seeing
this. Happosai enjoyed watching him droop.
I guess I'll wait until its dark and he's gone to sleep, Happosai thought.
That would be the kindest thing to do, but what for? I'd be depriving the
fool of one last thrill. Isn't that equally cruel?
Happosai smiled benignly at the curator as he walked over to him and
said, "I guess you're pretty hungry, aren't you, smart boy?"
The man gulped and nodded his head.
"I was going to let you have that yam," Happosai said as he cut the
rope tethering the curator to a tree, "but I think you need a little
protein, don't you?"
The curator stared at Happosai, obviously baffled. Happosai suddenly
found himself despising the skinny little man with his balding head, his
bulging eyes and thick glasses.
"Wouldn't you like some roasted fish to go with that yam?" Happosai
asked in a kindly voice.
The curator eagerly nodded his head.
"Then go catch your own!" Happosai exclaimed as he pitched the
unsuspecting curator over the side of the cliff. He laughed at the glimpse
he got of the terror-stricken man's face in the instant before he plummeted
toward the river, far, far below. Happosai looked over the edge as the man
fell and shouted after him, "Remember to get your hands in close to 'em
before you try to make any sudden moves!"
The man never even so much as screamed. Happosai laughed anyway,
delighting in the gruesomely terminal joke he had just played on his
erstwhile rival and one time collaborator.
"The others will be working their way up this cliff tomorrow, and I'll be
waiting for them," Happosai said to the gathering night. "They'll never know
what hit 'em!"
He walked over to the fire and tested the yam. It was nice and
tender.
"Ah, this one is perfect!" Happosai said around a mouthful of the
roasted tuber. "Too bad I didn't bring any butter."
================================================
Ranma Saotome lay very still with his head in his female alter-ego's
lap, watching in stark terror as Akane used a perfectly executed Demon's
Head attack on her father and the shocked Ryuu Kumon and Ryouga Hibiki. She
winked her aura out, then slammed the shoji shut. Ranma took a deep breath,
wondering what would happen next, but Akane placed her fists on her hips and
remained near the shoji, impatiently tapping the floor with her right foot.
After a moment, she slid the shoji halfway open again and looked outside.
Ranko giggled.
Apparently satisfied with the results of her survey, Akane slid the
outer door shut, then turned and stared down at Ranma. The fire in her eyes
made him gulp. She walked, no, stalked toward him in a way that took his
breath. He had often tried to put that much sex into his gait when in his
girl form, but never came close. He began to lick his lips without even
thinking about it.
Akane smiled, then knelt down beside Ranma.
"You're gonna hold him, right, Ranko?" Akane asked.
Ranko giggled again as she seized Ranma's arms.
"Hold me? What for...mmph!"
Akane cut him off by kissing him full on the mouth, and it was not a
little girl kiss, either. She meant it. After a couple of years, she let him
come up for some air. Ranma really did not want any air. He wanted her to
kiss him some more.
Ranma started to sit up, but Akane placed a gentle right hand on his
chest. It may as well have weighed a hundred tons. He stayed right where he
was.
"Now it's your turn," Akane said as she slid her left hand behind
Ranko's head and pulled his alter ego close.
As far as he could tell, this kiss was no less passionate than the
one she had just given him. He felt his face begin to redden.
"What the hell is goin' on here?" Ranma asked in an unhappy voice.
"This ain't like you, Akane!"
Akane released Ranko and stared down into Ranma's eyes.
"I love you, Ranma Saotome," Akane said in a husky voice, "all two of
you, and I'll never let either of you go."
Ranma opened his mouth to respond, but the words just would not crawl
up out of his throat.
"Well, don't sit there like a bump on a log, Saotome," Ranko said.
"You're gonna hafta tell her the truth now. She already knows how I feel
about her."
"You what?" Ranma asked sounding alarmed and annoyed. "What'd ya do
that for?"
"Because I don't have that much time, as you well know!" Ranko
answered.
"What do you mean by that, Ranko?" Akane asked.
"I'm turning into..." Ranko started saying.
"...a girl," Ranma and Ranko finished in chorus.
"You're a girl now. So what?" Akane asked.
"I mean a girl, girl, Akane!" Ranma and Ranko chorused.
"So? That just means we can do some shopping together without you
getting bored. What's your point?"
Ranma and Ranko's jaws sagged in unison.
Akane grabbed Ranko kissed her again, this time fondling her left
breast as she did so. Ranma's face rapidly ran through several shades of
red, then slowly turned purple as he watched.
"Okay, I think I can quit worryin' about that for now," Ranko said in
a tiny voice.
Ranma tried to speak, but all he got in was a couple of noiseless jaw
flaps before Akane began kissing him again. She rubbed his stomach with her
right hand. Ranma felt as though someone had just wired him into a thousand
volt circuit, but that was only just the beginning. Ranko gently lowered his
head to the floor, then worked her way around to his other side so that she
could kiss him on the cheek and blow in his ear.
I'm gonna die now, he thought. Who would've ever believed that I'd go
this way?
Much to Ranma's amazement, he was still alive when Akane let him up
for air. He again tried to say something, but got cut off by another
incoming kiss--Ranko's this time. Akane kissed him on the neck and blew in
his ear. He wanted to howl. He wanted to take his clothes off! Not only
that, he wanted to take Akane's clothes off of her. Then he wanted to take
Ranko's clothes off of her. Ranko broke their kiss.
"This is gettin' outta hand!" Ranma gasped out.
"He's right you know, Akane."
Akane nodded her head in response, then said, "Yeah, we had better
stop. Besides, I want us all to have a good bath and be somewhere where we
won't be watched or interrupted for our first time."
"It's gettin' late," Ranko observed. "Colonel Abe will be here pretty
soon."
"Oh, no!" Akane exclaimed, clapping both hands to her cheeks. "I
forgot all about that!"
"Don't panic, Akane," Ranko said. "We still have time enough to get
ready. You go wake up Nabiki and the others. I'll make tea. Ranma, you round
up Oji-san and the two of you wash your faces and hands."
"Who died and made you boss?" Ranma asked sounding annoyed.
"No one," Ranko answered him with his own lopsided grin, "but I'm
your practical side, remember?"
Both Akane and Ranko stared at him expectantly.
"Okay, okay!" Ranma said resignedly as he rose to his feet. "I'm on
it. Oji-san! Scrub-a-dub-dub! Geez!"
"That's a good boy, Ranma," Akane said, unable to suppress a giggle.
"Oh, yeah!" Ranma said, snapping his fingers. "I nearly forgot. Don't
bother with Mom or Kasumi. That tea they drank will keep 'em sleepin' until
tomorrow evening, maybe longer."
"That's okay," Akane said in a cheerful voice, "I'm sure Nabiki will
be able to handle whatever comes up."
"And so will we, ne, Akane?" Ranko asked with a wink and a saucy
grin.
"Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something when the time comes," Akane
said as she began to blush.
Ranma felt his own cheeks begin to burn at this.
"I'm outta here," Ranma said in the voice he used when readying
himself for action. "Let's just hope this Colonel Abe guy is bringin' us
some good news."
"Better hope for good news from Doc Tofu, too," Ranko muttered, but
neither of her departing companions heard her. "Let's just hope the
university doesn't fool around too long with that genetics test or whatever
they call it."
================================================
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