Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Thu, 10 Oct 2002 17:09:59 -0400 "L.S McGill" <lsmcgill@hotmail.com>
wrote:
At a vacant restauraunt in Nerima, a hand turned a key in a lock and opened
the door. Ukyou looked around the interior and smiled. Give her a month,
and Ucchan's would re-open for business, and Ranma would meet his just
{rewards : reward}.
Or possibly 'get his just reward'.
In the kitchen of the {Dojo : dojo}, a still pale Ranma sat unmoving at the kitchen
table, a puddle of congealed cocoa pooling around a hand still clutching the
fragments of a cup.
>From the guide's descriptions, Ranma is expecting an implacable engine of
death. A love-sick girl should be a relief, maybe. It is fortunate that
Zhu Sho has been preparing the way.
When Kasumi entered the kitchen for breakfast, she uttered her trademarked
"Oh, my!" then waved a hand in front of Ranma's blank stare. Slow as
granite, the {red-heads : red-head's} eyes rose to meet hers. "Are you okay, Ranma?"
Several hours later and many miles away from Nerima, Soun, Genma, and the
voodoo priest Sandal traipsed up the side of a hill near Mount Fuji towards
a long deserted {cave, : cave which was} sealed by a large boulder around which magical wards
had been tied. As they came to the clearing around the cave and stopped,
the voodoo priest Sandal was looking wide eyed at the boulder.
"Hoo, Mon! You got no idea what you askin' Mon! Plenty big spirit locked in
here. Almost free. Gonna take some puttin down and a massive seal to lock
it in. What you bury, Mon? A big fuckin' {Demon : demon}?!"
Time passed as it was wont to do and a passing week found Ranma walking the
{Ginza : ginza} looking for a snack and wondering at the fickleness of fate and Akane
Tendo.
Maybe Zhu Shu was teaching Akane a few of the things that Ranma had learned
by watching her. He'd used several of Zhu Shu's cuteness tricks to snag a
few freebies as he'd wandered the {Ginza : ginza} and he could attest that cuteness
had it's advantages. Now if Akane would only use it more often!
He jumped up onto a fence next to a vacant lot he used as a short cut to the
{Ginza : ginza}, preparing to make {him : his} way home in hopes Akane was out of the tub and
that he would be able to finish his bath, but stopped at the weird scene
before him.
A very pretty female in an expensive uniform from a private {girl's : girls'} school
stood surrounded by three people dressed in non-descript gray outfits and
swathed in bandages, and holding gymnastics clubs. The girl they surrounded
had jet black hair pulled into a ponytail on the side, and held herself as
if she was completely confident of her safety.
Ranma stared in shock. All three girls were from his homeroom. All of a
sudden he was glad he'd not had a chance at the tub, because none of them
recognized him. He stared after them as they limped off, looking anything
but athletic, then followed them to the {Dojo : dojo}. This was getting curiouser and
curiouser.
A snort from the door drew their attention as Zhu Shu walked in carrying
Ryouga the piglet. She looked curiously around the {Dojo : dojo} and gave Akane an
inquisitive look. "What do?"
... And landed on the far side of the {Dojo : dojo} as she touched down.
Zhu Shu looked at the two boys bouncing around the Dojo with half lidded
eyes. "Zhu Shu thought {Senshi : senshi} bad. Begin wonder maybe mistake." She sighed
as she took out her swords and began to spin.
Loud cracks echoed across the {Dojo : dojo} as a swirling tornado of cloth forced
Ranma and Ryouga to opposite sides of the {Dojo : dojo}. At the {storms : storm's} center, Zhu
Shu danced, her swords moving so quickly she appeared to have six arms. The
rhythmic cracks of her snapping ribbons matched the intricate steps of the
spinning dance and within their spirals, she seemed some how obscured and
hard to see. With a last snarling whirl, the dance came to the utter
stillness of a completed form and as the ribbons slowly floated down, Zhu
Shu fixed Ranma and Ryouga with a hard glare. "We here teach Akane, yes no?"
Akane forced tired muscles to move as she flipped out of the bed to land in
front of the bookcase in a crouch. As the mallet {impacted : hit : slammed into} the bed, she asked
"Who are you?!"
They bounced around the room like super balls and were back out the door
almost before Akane had a chance to react. She leaned out the door after
them and yelled "Ranma! You better not hurt him till he's done teaching me
for the match!" The whistle of the wind warned her and she turned to kick
the mallet out of Kodachi's hands...
It's interesting to see the difference in Akane's attitude to Ryouga in
this version.
They glared at each other as the mallet crashed to the floor, then Kodachi
pulled out her ribbon. "So. The rumors are true. You are good aren't you?"
Black rose petals swirled in a blizzard as she spun her ribbon in a spiral
and {she :} vanished from sight.
She blushed and looked away. To think that such a beautiful man had cared
enough to rescue a clumsy, ugly girl like her! She threw her arms around his
strong shoulders and cried, "I was so frightened!"
This Kodachi has a severe self-esteem problem.
Downstairs again in her bed, Akane punched her pillow. Kodachi, the Black
Rose!!!! It was unfair! She had a body to kill for, a gracefulness Akane
would give anything to posses, and she had to be rich! Why did she have to
have so many advantages over a clumsy girl like herself? How could she
compete? A girl like that could have any boy she wanted! Why Ranma!?! Even
with the execises Zhu Shu had been teaching her, how was she ever going to
develop a body like that? Why wouldn't he choose the sexy gymnast over her!
{ :}He thought she was sexless! And after she'd gone and shaved in hopes of
making him notice, in hopes that he'd find her more attractive! Kodachi
comes along and off he goes, falling for her hook, line and sinker!
As silence descended over the {Dojo : dojo} once more, a black figure detached itself
from the shadows it had concealed itself in as Kodachi moved past, and
watched its quarry help Ranma down into the house. For just a second, red
eyes gleamed in the darkness of it's face, then vanished as it once more
slipped into the dark.
Beserk rage kindled in Akane's eyes. "Oh?! Then why don't you go right to
him!!!" With the strength of {an Demon : a demon}, she threw Kodachi through the air
towards her god, who apparently hadn't noticed her and was running away.
"Oh! Wait! Please!" She called after him as she landed, but he was so
preoccupied with his thoughts he didn't hear. She ran after him as he
approached her thrice bedamned brother, then leaped over Kuno's boken swing
to plant his foot firmly into that oh-so-blessed-by-the-gods handsome face.
How inobservant of Ranma.
{Days : Day's} end finally arrived and Zhu Shu decided to give Ranma and Akane some
time alone. She meandered over the rooftops in no particular hurry as she
approached the {Dojo : dojo}, but mid-way there, her senses tingled and she barely
had time to draw her swords and block a lightning swift attack from a gray
blur.
Zhu Shu turnes a deep red. "I was educated in it by an Indian Dancer, Great{: -}
Grandmother."
Zhu Shu looked {shamed face : shame-faced}. "I did learn much from our time together, Great{: -}
Grandmother. She came to me in a time of great depression on my husband
quest, and helped renew my spirit. I-I know my grandfather and aunt would
not have approved, yet I could not resist her, or the comfort she offered."
Zhu Shu looked down. "I did not wish her {: to} leave, Great{ : - }Grandmother, though
we both knew we would be soon parted. She gave the Dance to me as a gift of
rememberance for what could not be."
"Yet you did part. And continued on your quest. She aided you in a time of
need. Do not be ashamed of that{: ,} Child. Honor her for the caring she showed
you."
"A most interesting occupation you have had of late." the old woman said
dryly. "I have watched you for the last few days. A very interesting way you
have of fulfilling your quest to secure Ranma for Shan Pu as her {Groom : groom}."
Ke Lun watched her eyes for a long moment before nodding. "Good. You believe
you do right. I needed to see if that was the case. I am not Shan Pu, {great
granddaughter : Great-granddaughter}, and once I have explained your reasons, she will understand
what your friendship means. I had underestimated your wisdom, my child. And
your devotion to your friends. I see what you are attempting and I approve.
Had you the time, you might have succeeded."
Ke Lun nodded. "I had assumed so based on their actions. They show that
their own skins {means : mean} much to them. Can you explain this to them?"
Ke Lun tried to catch her eyes, but Zhu Shu avoided them. Ke Lun nodded.
"There {: much} is that you have not said, Little Mouse. I know you wish the love of
a woman solely, but that cannot be. Reluctant you may be, but your quest
must be fulfilled. You are the last Dragon, my child. There must be an heir.
On this Clan and Tribe both agree."
Ke Lun kissed her on the forehead and with a faint sound of wind was gone.
Zhu Shu stood on the pole for a long while as {the : her} tears fell like rain.
Zhu Shu laughed weakly. "It not matter. Zhu Shu appreciate try cheer her up.
Thank you. But is time for lesson, yes no?" She straightened her dress and
dried her eyes. "Lessons best thing for Zhu Shu now. Help clear mind."
reasserting her iron control, she ushered the girls into the {Dojo : dojo}.
"Your {Mistress : mistress} herself could not break that seal, {demon : Demon}. Why not desist and
tell me why you have invaded my domain."
The man steepled his fingers. "Indeed. Skorpion has many interests, {demon : Demon}.
Only a few involve the affairs of your realm or the Heavens ."
"Indeed." He looked at her over steepled fingers. "A promising idea. I
have several possiblities in mind. Return to Japan, {demon : Demon}, and watch over
her for the moment." a mirror appeared in his hand and {floted : floated} over to Mara.
"Use this to keep me updated. I will set up the trap, and together, we will
spring it to ensnare our Little Mouse."
"Yes! She's my {Blood-Sister : blood-sister}. She'd been living with my groom preparing
things so that when we arrive, Ranma can't escape again. And
Great-grandmother has a plan to ensure his family doesn't ruin things by
objecting."
"Do not let {great-grandmother : Great-grandmother} hear you say that or she will re-educate you
in them."
"Exactly my point." She sighed and folded her hands in her lap. "Akane,
you never had the chance to learn any of this from our mother. She had a
talk with me about all this when I was much younger than you. Mother was a
very practical woman, she had to be to balance out {daddy : Daddy}, and she raised me
to be practical too. I try my best to be like her, and even though {mom : Mom}
might not have handled these things exactly like I am, well, I've had to
learn to be more pragmatic about things. Raising you and Nabiki and taking
care of {daddy : Daddy} demands it. But I enjoy it too; it makes me happy to have
everything running smoothly because I feel like I've accomplished something
important."
Ranma's breath caught as he tried to think of an answer to that, then a
noise made him raise his eyes to where Akane was crossing the garden to the
{Dojo : dojo} for her lesson in rhythmic gymnastics with Zhu Shu. Kasumi looked into
his eyes as he watched her, and nodded. "You might be surprised at that
..." She rose and picked up a cloth wrapped bundle from the bench. "I
actually came to ask you a favor from Zhu Shu. She asked me if you would
guard the {Dojo : dojo} tonight. Make sure no-one enters. She said what she would
be doing tonight could be dangerous if any distractions occur. And she gave
me this to give to you." She handed the bundle to Ranma.
Akane entered, a curious look on her face, but wearing the Indian dance
outfit that Zhu Shu had left for her in the dressing room. She started to
ask about it, but stopped when she saw Zhu Shu dressed in a matching outfit.
{ :}When Zhu Shu didn't move, she proceeded to the training mat, and sat
across from her in the same pose.
Kasumi watched from the sidelines as the glows from both girls grew and the
energies slowly formed globes around each other. The tempo increased again
and with a sudden rush of glowing fire, the two were no longer mirrors, but
separate parts moving as a whole. As they swirled into complimentary
dances, the wind in the {Dojo : dojo} rose to a peak and streamers of blue and green
light began to merge into gold.
Entranced by the Dance, Kasumi lost track of time, aware only of the
patterns of light and motion before her. Unnoticed, the CD stopped, but the
music continued, it's rising tempo driving the Dancers even harder. As the
music rose to a fever pitch, a haze of golden light swallowed the last of
the streamers of green and blue, and a soundless explosion lit the {Dojo : dojo}.
She opened her eyes to find herself staring at the ceiling of the {Dojo : dojo}, her
sight blurred by a golden haze. She tried to set up, but for all of the
energy flowing through her, she could not use any of it to make her body
respond. With a faint groan, she closed her eyes and fought with the wild
floods of energy within her. After what seemed an eternity, she finally
tamed the raging surges and it settled into a broad placid river, bringing
with it bits and pieces of memories not her own: Faces she didn't recognize,
names she couldn't place. They came in a sprinkling of images, like
snowflakes that melted away and were gone, leaving only the strongest to
remain in the fore-front of her mind.
Zhu Shu sat back on her feet and looked down at her hands. "She's the
{Amazon's : Amazons' : Amazon} Champion. A very strong warrior. She can be a vicious enemy or a
wonderful friend. I- I miss her very much."
"I hope so. She's like you in a lot of ways, like Ranma in a lot of ways,
even like me in some ways. She is an Amazon. She has a lot of honor and
pride. She's the strongest Amazon warrior of her generation. Ranma's the
only person to beat her since she turned thirteen. She has a very strong
will, like you." She looked up to meet Akane's eyes. "I fear {: you} will squabble
with her worse than you and Ranma do. She's under no obligation to love you
like Ranma, and she won't settle for the role of a lesser wife. She must be
first, or equal."
"And Ranma was stupid enough to get us in this position." She sighed. "Oh
well. I guess I'll deal with her when she shows up. One {Fianc�e : fianc�e} at a time.
{ :}I can't say I'm thrilled at the thought of a mystery fiancee, but-" She
smiled at Zhu Shu. "-I had contemplated the idea of sharing him. Just not
with an Amazon." She looked around the dark dojo. "I guess it's a good
thing Ranma's guarding the door. A fine sight we must look huddled on the
floor like this." She stood and bent to kiss Kasumi on the forehead. "Thank
you ... for being a wonderful big sister." Kasumi blushed as Akane turned
to Zhu Shu. "I- I think I know now why you said no. You're in love with me
aren't you?"
"You're afraid you wouldn't be able to let me go afterwards. I understand it
now." She offered her hand to the Chinese girl and helped her to her feet.
"If you want the truth, Zhu-sama... " she whispered gazing into her eyes,
"I'm not sure I could have let go afterwards either. I don't know if I
could have been able to chose between you or Ranma. I might have ended up
breaking both of your hearts if I had to choose. Why do you think I've
thought about sharing?" She looked at the ribbons lying on the {Dojo : dojo} floor
where they had fallen. "That's why it got out of hand isn't it? When our ki
touched, neither of us wanted to let go ... we bound ourselves so close I
have some of your memories ... I know now how to recognize love from your
memories of it ... and my feelings for Ranma and you." She hugged Zhu Shu
close. "I will find a way to repay you for all you have given me, I will
find a way to allow you the happiness you deserve ... I swear I will. And
I'll try to accept Shampoo. For you."
Akane smiled as she opened the door to the {Dojo : dojo} and saw Ranma setting on the
step, his red aura flickering faintly as he breathed. The swords in his
hand moved a bare fraction as he tensed at the sound of the door, then
relaxed as he recognized her. "Oh. It's you. You ok? It sounded like you
were pushing pretty hard in there earlier."
In the deepest shadows by the {Dojo : dojo} wall, another guardian watched their
exchange and smiled. At least this part of Urd's crazy plan seemed to have
worked. He looked down to the angelic face of his most beloved Belldandy
cradled in his lap as she slept. He snuggled his Nikomi Tech jacket closer
around her shoulders as she smiled and snuggled closer. It would be
pointless to try and wake her for several hours yet. She always had to
sleep whenever she had created a major spell, and she had worked this one
for almost an hour and a half before passing out. He'd ask her later what
the point of those two colored balls of light, one blue, one green, she had
joined into a single ball of golden light. She'd stared {in to : into} it for over
an hour before releasing the spell and falling asleep. Maybe for once, her
explanation of it would be something he could understand.
* * * * *
Ranma turned as Kasumi and Zhu Shu {exited the Dojo : left the dojo}. "No-one came in, but
Nabiki wanted to know what the light show was. Pop and Mr. Tendo showed up
too, with that weird voodoo guy in tow. Wouldn't tell me where they'd been
all week. That Voodoo guy said there was a 'heap o magic' flowing out of
there, but he didn't want anything to do with a 'Loa' that big, whatever
that means." He handed Zhu Shu back her swords. "I have guarded your {Honor : honor}
and now return it to you unshamed."
"He's right." Kasumi added. "It wasn't there in the {Dojo : dojo} either. You're
speaking Japanese fluently."
From his seat in the shadows, Keiichi Morisato watched as the Chinese girl
burst into tears and was lead away by the taller Japanese one, leaving {Ranma : the Japanese boy}
standing speechless in the garden once more. He looked down at Belldandy's
peaceful face. What had she done? He watched as {Ranma : the oy} entered the main
house and settled himself, leaning his head back against the wall and
looking at the stars. He hated to see girls cry. He hoped the end results
of Urd's scheme made what ever had just happened worth it, that for once in
her career as a goddess, she was doing the right thing....
Keiichi doesn't know who any of those people are, so it would be better to
not use any names when in his point of view.