Boredcollective@aol.com wrote:

The section's just a _little_ too long for the straight AOL
service to post. I wonder if there's a setting nobody's told
me about to send more than 32k at a time...

 And I spent three of the nights this week sleeping on the floor at work,
so might come across as a bit... disjointed. Here's me trying TRYING to

get back into the swing of things... curse you, backlog. Curse you.

You're not balancing four jobs and trying to get a doctorate or
something silly like that, are you? ^_^

-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: 1.txt

Author's Forword: Ah, dear, sweet, sweet mediocrity.

 My byline, bub. You go bask in the minor glory, and leave the mediocricy
to ME.

I like the snippet of glory I get now and again. It's good to see
someone likes what I've done so far. ^_^

I would sincerely love to hear any suggestions anyone has to
make. After all, that's why I posted it when it wasn't ready.
And there are no comments that I simply ignore. Every idea
has its place, and I adapt all I can. Ideas are valuable to
me. It's a good thing to never waste them...

 Eeeeeexcelent....

Mind you, it helps if the ideas are on the same wavelength
as what I have planned. ^_^

  Furinkan High's bell rang and, like a deranged Pavlovian
experiment, the students shuffled out of their classrooms. Some had
the zombie-like expressions of those that had just heard the loud
swishing noise of their future being heartlessly flushed down the
toilet after the last test results were made public.

 Heh.

Happens all too often, really. ^_^

  Not Ranma, though, who was still in shock from the discovery of
what some of his teachers were like. In the short time that he had
attended Furinkan, the school leadership had gone through teachers
faster than a shoujo anime villain goes through his lackies. Rei
insisted that the few more or less normal ones that had been in
before were merely substitutes who usually worked at Juuban Junior
High or over at the White Dove Academy. The young man hadn't thought
to ask why elementary and Junior High teachers had been assigned to
work at a High School. Actually, he'd also decided not to ask about
a lot of what was going on.

 Don't think that the 'High School' needs to be capitalized.

Okay. Fixed it.

  The boy looked up at her with sleepless eyes that would have
made a kicked puppy give up and start selling insurance. "What? Oh!"
He bowed down several times in prostrated obeisance. "Right, I forgot
that it was supposed to be a secret identity, Miss... I mean, Mister
Saotome!"

 ... riiiiight.

 Puppy. Insurance.

Gosunkugi has that sort of pathetic look to him, didn't he? ^_^

 I think you've damaged me, Mr. Oliver.

I have managed to dent Brian Randall's psyche....

My life is complete. ^_^

 Hopefully you'll sign the required waivers when I attempt to warranty

my

mind.

Bring a lawyer and three of your best-looking groupies. We'll have
lunch. ^_-

  "Can I please have your autograph???" the zombie-boy pleaded.

 Do you need more than one question mark?

Hmm... I did it to emphasize the strength of the question, but
I guess it wasn't necessary. One question mark it is.

  Ranma threw up her arms, giving up. "Oh, all right!" In a
very lady-like manner, she twirled around, her ankle-length skirt
swishing as she resumed her walk with Rei toward the lunch room.
"Hey, stop laughing already! I'll bet nobody else gets soaked like
this on a regular school day..."

 I think we've gone over the elipses.

Indeed we have....

  *Boom*Crash!* Lightning flashed and thunder roared in the
background.

 Something about that '*Boom*Crash!*' looks awkward.

You know, I started using those in NETTG to drive home very
explosive points, but now I realize that it's a lot better
to simply describe the sound, except for really climactic
moments when an explosion fills the "screen."

So, I changed it to:

	Usagi ran with her bookbag over her head in a failed effort to
keep from getting drenched in the rain. Luna followed close behind.

	There was a crash of thunder and lightning flashed around them.

	The blonde jumped in fright. "I HATE LIGHTNING!!!" she whined
loudly, her cries nearly drowned out by the torrents of water
splashing around her. "Luuunaaaa, I'm getting wet and I'm getting
tired and--I wanna go hooooooooooooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

If you take notice, in the Sailor Stylin' series, I've phased
out using *Boom* sound effects and have tried to describe the
noise within the prose. I'm only using them here to keep with
the style for the series. ^_^

  The cat's statement instantly caused Usagi to come to a
screeching halt, which was an odd way of doing so, because that very
adjective could easily be applied to to the tone of voice the girl
used used as she glared at her kitty-advisor and politely asked--at
a volume jackhammers would envy-- "IT CAN!? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT
_EARLIER_?!"

 I think it's tone more than volume, but... no, no, that still applies.

Volume works. After all, Larry Fontenot suggested that line. It
has to be right! ^_-

Hmm. Mr. Oliver, I'm going to have to ask you to make more mistakes -- 
you're not giving me a lot to correct or comment on, here. ;)

Much of the time, I filter the stuff by a few friends before I
send it out, so a good deal of mistakes are caught. And sometimes,
when I'm REALLY concerned, I'll actually proofread it myself.

  "We're working as fast as we can," irritably explained a
maintenance from atop a tall ladder. He peered down at the blonde,
who seemed a little too anxious to get her precious hot water. "So
what? You'll have to take a cold shower for P.E." He shook his head
while banging on a pipe with a wrench. "Grow up, girl!"

 Aha! 'a maintenance'?

Oops! A maintenance worker.

 Why isn't this plumber Italian?

You-a want an Italian-o plumber, eh?

	As luck would have it, there was no hot water easily available
in Furinkan High that day. Rei and Ranma checked the bathrooms,
but apparently the boilers had gone out and several of the water
lines had been damaged from an incident earlier that morning.

	"Mama-mia! We're-a working as fast as we can," an Italian
maintenance worker explained irritably from atop a tall ladder. He
straightened his red cap and peered down at the blonde, who seemed,
from his perspective, a little too anxious to get her precious hot
water. "So what? You'll-a have to take a cold shower for your-a
P.E. class." He shook his head while banging on a pipe with a wrench.
"Grow up, girl!"

	In the corner of the hallway, his taller companion, who was
dressed in green overalls, snorted his agreement. He grabbed another
tool and handed it up to the other worker.

	Ranma clenched a fist, then her shoulders slumped. She let
out a heavy sigh and turned away.

	"And buy a uniform!" the surly faculty member called down.
"This ain't ballroom dancing, you know!"

Okay, anyone else that's good at stereotypical Italian plumber
accents want to make a correction? ^_^

  *Crash!*Rumble-rumble* Outside, a bolt struck the school's
lightning rod. Everyone winced at the sharp noise, and the lights
flickered, but the effect was only momentary. When they caught sight
of the lovely damsel who had just entered, a hush went over the
students.

 Same with this sound effect. I'd put an asterisk on each part of the 
sound effect, and then a space between them.

Well, How about I simply change the paragraph...?

	Outside, a bolt struck the school's lightning rod, rattling
the entire building. Everyone winced at the sharp noise, and the
lights flickered, but the effect was only momentary. When they caught
sight of the lovely damsel who had just entered, a hush went over the
students.

  The reporters regrouped like a swarm of northern Canadian
mosquitoes, going in to suck the last bits of life from their
helpless victim.

 Now THAT is scary.

Anybody from Canada want to explain how the mosquitoes attack in
the extreme northern regions? ^_^

  *WHOOSH!*WHACK-WHACK-WHACK!* A rush of air whipped past the
approaching news anchors, driving them away from the Moon Princess.
Several tried to resist, but they were finally each driven down by
the sharp smack of a bokken to the base of the neck.

 My comment on sound effects applies to this one, if you choose to pay

attention.

Nah, I'm keepin' this one. It's my pet sound effect, you see. ^_^

 Right. I forgot to mention, so feel free to take any of my comments you
don't like with a grain of salt. If it doesn't help you... but you know

the drill. ;)

And since I've just rejected your one comment, that means I'll have
to take the rest of 'em. ^_^

  "...shall suffer the wrath of the Great Blue Thunder and Rolling
Stone of Furinkan High!" Kuno shifted his grip, brandishing his
weapon. "Who dares to accept the challenge?"

 ... Rolling Stone.

 Beautiful.

If you need to look for nicknames, there's plenty to go around. ^_^

  "Rei..." Ranma muttered, glaring at her. She desperately
searched his mind for a decent comeback. "Yeah, well, 'wicked but
beauteous sorceress,' why don't you use your magic to..." She paused.
"Umm, to, like, something or other."

 'She' searched 'his' mind?

Gah! (fixfixfix)

	"Rei!" Ranma muttered, glaring at her. She desperately searched
her mind for a decent comeback. "Yeah, well, 'wicked but beauteous
sorceress,' why don't you use your magic to, um..." She paused. "Uh,
to, like, something or other."

	"Do what, Ranma?"

	"Oh, go prestidigitate yourself!"

	Rei laughed at the blonde. "Sure, whatever." She dug through her
bookbag and fished out a brown paper bag. "Well, I have my lunch. Time
for you to buy yours."

Hmm... Rei doesn't come across as too snotty to Ranma, does she?

  "I managed," Kuno Michiru replied in a calm, refined voice.
"Now, will you please explain yourselves?"

 --->> This is where I fell out of my chair, frothing at the mouth.

 To reiterate, good Sir: URK.

Michiru would make a good Kuno, wouldn't she? ^_^

  "No, we didn't, did we?" Ranma replied, trying to remember
when he had last saw the new girl's face. "Oh! Right, you're that
kendoist's brother, aren't you?"

 'Brother'?

Sister. I mean sister. Sorry. "BRAAAAAINZZZZZ?" ^_^

	"No, we didn't, did we?" Ranma replied, trying to remember
when he had last saw the new girl's face. "Oh! Right, you're that
kendoist's sister, aren't you?"

  "Er..." Ranma turned red. "He surprised me? I was a girl at
the time? I hadn't warmed up? All the stars were aligning themselves
against me?"

 ... hehehe.

Ranma looks for exuses, doesn't he? Lame though they may be?

  "Yeah," Ranma replied instantly. She made a mental exercise
out of mimicking Michiru's expression. Outwardly, she was as calm and
collected as the other girl. Inwardly, though, she was screaming,
"YES!!! YES, HOO-YEAH, DO I EVER WANNA LEARN THAT SWEET KI-BLASTIN',
BABY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 "You want some of the glowing? DO YOU WANT SOME OF THE GLOWING? I've got
glowing to SPARE!"

Hmm... Well, waste not, want not. ^_^

	"Yeah," Ranma replied instantly. She made a mental exercise
out of mimicking Michiru's expression. Outwardly, she was as calm and
collected as the other girl. Inwardly, though, she was screaming,
"YES!!! YES, HOO-YEAH, DO I EVER WANNA LEARN THAT SWEET KI-BLASTIN',
BABY!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

	Likewise, Michiru had been thinking, during Ranma's response,
"You want some of the glowing? DO YOU WANT SOME OF THE GLOWING? I've
got glowing to SPARE!" However, she restrained herself just as well
as Ranma.

	"It's just that I've never really seen it done, close up,
so I haven't been able to learn it," Ranma explained in monotone.

I guess this might be one of those things I have to sort out on
my own. Just have to sit on a rock for a while, resting my chin on
my fist until I figure it out. Whelp, gotta go on a metaphysical
exploratory tour. Be back in a bit!

 I think it worked, by and large. Quite good, if I wasn't able to offer
as much in the way of commentary as I would have liked.

...

In a roundabout way, it's kinda flattering. ^_^

I'm glad you liked it! Now, this has been pretty tough to think
of right for continuing it along, but as soon as I finish playing
Neverwinter Nights and the Penultima mods, my mind will be freed
up enough to concentrate more on creating more.

It happens differently, but I think school's been sucking on my
brain as well.

But I'm glad there's people still out there still capable of
rational thought! Makes things more workable. ^_^

And now... Here is a slightly revised portion of that last
scene. Just a fix here and there...

	"That's all right," Michiru said. "We will train you. But
first, I'd like to see some of your credentials. To master what we've
achieved is very strenuous training. You need a certain level of
natural talent to begin with. How do we know that you will not simply
keel over one minute after we start?"

	"Well," Ranma added, "I've been training for almost my entire
life so I can be the greatest martial artist in the world."

	"And who has been training you? Masters of various styles?"

	"No, just my pop."

	Haruka slapped her forehead, the noise of which echoed
throughout the entire room. "Just HIM?!" With a very pained
expression, she looked down, buried her face in her hands, and
groaned. "Ugh. Odango, and here I thought you had so much potential."

	Ranma ignored Haruka's outburst, her attention focused entirely
on combating Michiru's difficult-to-look-at gaze.

	Michiru's eyes seemed to sparkle. "I see. He is this 'Genma'
character I've heard so much about?"

	"Yeah, that's him."

	"You're not ready," Michiru stated flatly.

	"WHAT?!"

	"What she means to say," Haruka cut in, taking several breaths
to recover her composure, "is that you'll need a bit more preparation
than just training under _him_ for a few years."

	"Hey, Pop's a good martial artist! And I'm even better than he
is." Ranma stood up and waved for Gosunkugi to come forward. "Watch."

	"Have you forgiven me yet?" the zombie-eyed-boy asked.

	The girl in the sparkling white gown shook her head. "Nope!
Can I beat you up?"

	Gosunkugi nodded. "Yes, I deserve it!" He closed his eyes.

	*BAM-POW-THWACKK!* In a fluid motion, Ranma smacked him to
the floor, booted him into the air, then leapt up and punched
him into the opposite wall. He fell out of the indentation he
made in the previously flat surface and some other students rushed
toward him to check on the damage.

	"Wow, he's still alive!" one noted in genuine surprise.

	"Thank you, princess-lady!" Gosunkugi groaned. "May I have
another?"

	"How's that?" Ranma asked, her arms folded across her chest.

	"That student has no skill to speak of," Michiru said. "This
proves nothing."

	"Well, maybe I can ask that kendoist, whatshisname, to fight
me for a bit?"

	"Don't even think about hurting my brother."

	"She's a little protective of him," Haruka explained.

	"HOW can I prove myself, then?" Ranma asked impatiently.
"Do I have to, like, beat you in an unarmed, no holds barred duel
to the death in a big steel cage?!"

	Michiru considered this. "That can be arranged, yes. Though
I doubt you'll last very long."

	Ranma pointed a finger across the table at her. "Yeah? You
just wait. I'll take ya down in no time flat!"

	With one arm held sheepishly behind her neck, Haruka waved at
them. "Girls, girls. There's no need to fight just yet."

	Michiru glanced at her. "Yes, there is."

	Ranma nodded in agreement. "Yeah!"

	Haruka chortled, half at herself and half at the others. "How
about, instead of killing each other to prove who's more woman,"
she paused and grinned at Ranma's glare, "or man, we could go easy on
you while doing the training in exchange for some kind of fee."

	Michiru sat down and folded her arms, attempting not to look
like she felt emotionally threatened by the blonde's presence. "Yes,
that would be appropriate."

	Ranma backed down and thought for a second. "Okay, how much?"

	"It's not that easy," Michiru said. "You see, we have plenty of
money."

	The pigtailed princess bit her lip, not quite sure where the
conversation was going. "So...?"

	"We'll gladly train you," Haruka added, "if you can bring us
a-"

	"A big diamond? A birth certificate? A pot of gold? A firstborn
child? A shrubbery?"

	Michiru shook her head. "No, more like something magical."

	"Magical? Like 'hocus-pocus' magical or poof, 'Aaah! I'm a 
girl' magical?"

	"A magic sword, for example."

	"Oh. Why?"

	"We are, shall we say, collectors of talismans."

	Ranma blinked. "Oh. Well, then." The ponytailed girl hunted
around in her clothes. "Let's see...." She pulled out a pink and red
scepter and placed it on the table. "I got this cute rod--the guide
said it was from this magical kingdom a thousand years ago. And,
lessee...."

	She produced a large, multifaceted silver-colored gem. "Don't
tell anyone, but I was crying this morning after a cat got after me
and this thing just appeared in front of me."

	Next, she placed on the table a golden chalice with several
layers of decorations and wing-things. "And I don't know WHERE I got
this thing from."

	Michiru watched silently while Haruka boggled at the multitude
of objects being stacked before them.

	Ranma withdrew a few stylized pens with planetary symbols on
them and put them in the growing pile. "I think someone called
these hentai sticks or henshin sticks or something--no, don't ask
me where I got all this girly stuff. Oh! Here's something." She
took out a golden ring with glowing red writing on it. "One Ring to
rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and
in the darkness bind them." She stared at the others with her now-
hardened expression, her eyes speaking volumes of warning and danger.
"I never used this, but the guy said it makes people invisible,
invincible, and holds within it the power of Sauron, the Dark--"

	Michiru coughed in surprise. "Ahh, umm, er...." She gathered her
resolve and cleared her throat. "Ranma, for someone who needs to
travel light, you're certainly a pack rat."

	"So are these any good for ya?" Ranma asked with a grin.

	Michiru visibly deflated, running her fingers through her
shoulder-length hair while her face went through a series of mixed
emotions. She slowly shook her head as she closely examined the items
in question. She picked up the rod, then set it back down, and tapped
a couple of the other objects. Finally, she looked straight into the
Moon Princess's eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Ranma. It's all a bunch
of worthless junk." She sighed and, in a fluid one-armed motion,
shoved the pile off the table, directly into a large garbage can.

	Ranma blinked, a bit disappointed. "Oh."

	"It will be best if these are put in a more appropriate place,
like the dump," Michiru said with a hint of disdain. Behind her back,
she deftly tucked the One Ring into her purse. "Yess, my preciousss,"
she whispered, a grin coming to her lips.

	Ranma slid back a little. "Err, precious?"

	Michiru straightened up. "Nothing, nothing. I said nothing."

	A student on cleaning duty came by and started to drag off the
trash can. Ranma's hand went out and caught the handle. "Hey!" she
said. "I need to pawn these!" She pulled out the Holy Grail and
looked at it. "Been drinking my tea outta this thing...."

	The student nodded several times, threw his arm around the
princess, had one of his friends take a snapshot, then dashed away,
hooting and hollering triumphantly. "Woooooooooo!"

	"Hey!" Ranma yelled after him. She started to stand, but Haruka
pulled her back down.

	The deep-voiced woman attempted an encouraging smile. "I guess
you'll just have to accept the fact that you're not cut out for the
level of martial arts that we train at."

	"Yes, I am!" Ranma insisted.

	"We are rather busy," Michiru added. "We can't be babying
someone like you when we have serious preparations to do."

	"BABYING?!"

	"Why don't you ask Rei?" Haruka suggested. "She's about your
skill level."

	"But--!"

	It took a while, but Ranma eventually agreed.

	By the time Ranma walked over to ask about it, Rei already had
a few of her books out and had started on some of her homework.

	"Say," Ranma said, "do you remember that fire-attack you used
on me the day we met?"

	The dark-haired sixteen-year-old looked up at her. "Yes, why?"

	"Can you teach it to me?"

	Rei thought about it for a moment. "Alright, I'll show you the
basics. We can start after we get home and I finish my homework,
okay?"

	"Can't we do it now???"

	"Not right now."

	"Aww, please?"

	"This is due in ten minutes!"

	"I can learn it in ten minutes!"

	"Not now!"

	"YES, now!"

	Rei looked up at the dainty female, then glared back at the
paper on the table, seemingly angry that the insufferable material
hadn't finished itself yet. "NOW, huh?" She put down her pencil and
placed her hands together, index fingers extended. A small flame
appeared at her fingertips. She pointed it at Ranma. "You REALLY want
to learn it NOW?"

	Ranma looked at the ki-flame. Somewhere at the back of her
brain, she remembered something she had read about ki-attacks, a long
time ago: they hurt VERY badly when they hit. "Or later!" she added,
backing down. "Later's fine! Really!"

^_^


And here we remain again, until I hit my head in the right spot
once more and revise/finish the chapter.

And if you're very good, soon, we'll have another segment of
NETTG to look at. Very close to finishing the chapter.

THEN I'll have to revise it, but that can wait until it's done. ^_^

----------------------
Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@U.Arizona.EDU
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

        "We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
         We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
         Your humor will adapt to make us laugh.
         Resistance is and always has been: Futile."


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'