Hi Don,

One good turn deserves another I guess,

Storytelling was smooth as usual except for the bits with Akane.  The parts where her thoughts ended and where the descriptions began were indistinguishable. I think you'll do something about it soon enough since this is the roughest of the rough drafts.  There were also a lot of very archaic terms there... too bad I don't have my dictionary handy right about now...

I realized halfway through Ukyo's descriptions that she was talking about those illustrations appearing in Heavy Metal (Chigau ka?)  Is Saotome also the plural of Saotome?  I get clonked by my editor (Hi Larry!) for pluralizing kami as kamis, so this is the same deal then?

another thing:

so very wrong, but it definitely felt wrong. Tokyo had not the time >for quiet. She was a great city and the frenetic was her norm, her >surest sign

shouldn't that be frantic?  I'm not so certain myself

The storm is finally over, Sadly we're still nowhere solving the numerous questions that popped up earlier such as... What happened to Happi?  Can the two Ranmas be fused back together?  What will happen to the two of them?  And... Will there be a two girl Ranma sandwich in the near future? (Jiro gets bopped for being a hentai)





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