Looking into this:

Chapter 1: Spring

Inu-Yasha had not been this close to the village before. In the last few
months, he'd edged close, certainly, to the shrine on the hill, but he had
never ventured near the small buildings that existed in its shadow. They
had never held anything for him before. No fascination, no longing, no
promises of anything except rejection, degradation and humiliation.

But this time, it held a promise of a glimpse of the priestess. Beauty had
soothed the savage hanyou; her eyes were his undoing. Her somber, brown
eyes were his undoing,

Two 'his undoing's close together. I'd change one of them.

If she was still sad, he did not know what he might do.

But we know. :)

He told himself it was a weakness he could not afford. No true youkai

would

care about the state of a woman's heart and

heart, and

They sang planting songs, banged on drums to keep a rhythm. Never before
had he bothered to watch the age-old ritual of the rice paddy;

Well, actually the only ritual the rice paddy endures is growing. :) The
people make the rituals.

He crept closer still.

She turned and glanced in his direction.

He froze.

Oops.

She turned back to the village headman, the expression washing away as if
it'd never taken her face. The headman seemed not to notice that she'd
looked away, and Inu-Yasha made good his reprieve from her eyes. He took
back to the trees some distance, losing sight of the priestess and the
villagers under her care.

Nice way to show his currentl feelings already.

When he finished with the first, he glanced back; Kikyou sat in the grass
not far behind him, her hands folded in her lap. He snorted again, before
repeating the wash with the second tuber.

Once clean, he moved back to the grass, sitting down a few feet to the
woman's left, his eyes flicking to her, wary. Was she going to try and

take

his food? Was she waiting for something? He couldn't be sure. He bit into
the tuber, not minding that it was raw.

Heh. Cute to see him so suspicious.

"Human."

"I know that," she prompted. "Do you remember her at all?"

"She's been dead eight years.

Still evading the question.

He stared at her a moment longer, before he snorted again and took a large
bite from the tuber. He still would not give her his back. He'd force her
away before he did that.

"Why are you still here?"

"I'm trying to see if I could understand why your mother would be sad.
Perhaps at the loss at your father? Or perhaps," Kikyou's voice dropped to
a whisper, "Or perhaps she was afraid her son would grow to hate her for
the gift of her weak, human blood."

That might do it.

Inu-Yasha was struck mute by Kikyou's words; he was still and quiet at the
thought-his mother, afraid he would hate her? But he didn't! He didn't

hate

her! He'd known why she cried. why

Why

Inu-Yasha did not follow; he instead held his hands close to his chest

once

she was gone, wondering how a simple brush of her fingers could make him
tremble like a leaf in a storm.

Nice way to start things off. You're moving them along at a good pace. Nice
work.

D.B. Sommer

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