I agree with Allynyonge about the wish. It needs to be more specific. Either 
that or you've got to make the results of the wish a little more evident. 
When Ranma is awakened by his father I thought Genma was the one that was 
acting strange. I thought that maybe Ranma had been transported to another 
universe where he hadn't been as good in martial arts and that the reason 
Genma was so beat up was that Ranma didn't realize how weak his father was.

Ranma getting pissed off and beating up Genma is not that incredibly out of 
character. Genma wondering why, on the other hand, is. 

It was only later, when you reveal that Genma needs to go to the hospital and 
show Ranma's thoughts about wanting to beat up some more people that I 
remembered the title and realized what you had done. 

This could be interesting, particularly once the consequences of Ranma's 
actions come back to him, but the set up needs a little work. I don't see yet 
why Gosunkugi had to be the one to make the wish. I mean, it would make more 
sense for say Ranma to pick up a wish thingie and wish for a way to stop 
being such a doormat or something. Even better, Akane might wish that Ranma 
would show how he feels more... 

But anyway, the teaser was well written and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'