[FFML] [FanFic] [Ranma 1/2] Of Sorceries Cogent and Cunning (Revised)

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Of Sorceries Cogent and Cunning

A Ranma � / Kasumi the Wayfarer Side Story

Jeremy Harper

Disclaimer � Ranma � is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and is used without
permission. Elements of the work of Jack Vance and H.P. Lovecraft are incorporated
within this story and are also used without permission.

"Let no one think to test his magic against me! I did not leave all my spells at Falu, and I
am protected in dimension."

>From Rhialto the Marvellous, by Jack Vance

Ranma lay prone in the living room, unconscious, covered with a blanket and
with an icepack resting on his forehead. Akane attended to his injuries with care,
bandaging cuts and salving bruises. The expression on her face continuously shifted back
and forth from solicitous concern to barely controlled fury.

"Oh my," exclaimed Kasumi, stepping out of the kitchen. "What happened to
Ranma?"

"Happosai happened," Akane said shortly. "He raided the girl's locker room at
school for the fifth time this week. Ranma stopped him and we all stomped on the old
pervert good. Then when we were walking home afterwards Happosai dropped one of his
stupid bombs on us. Ranma pushed me aside, but he took the brunt of the blast."

Kasumi kneeled down next to Akane. "Wasn't that a nice thing for him to do,"
she said placidly. Akane shook her head and looked at her older sister, tears starting to
well up in her eyes.

"He shouldn't have to, Kasumi. He gets into enough trouble without having the
old lech causing more for him. I'm getting so sick of it! Daddy and Uncle Saotome are
too afraid of Happosai to get him to stop and Ranma isn't good enough to keep him in
check all the time. Isn't there someway to keep him under control?"

Kasumi reached over and patted Akane's hand. "Now, now. Don't let it upset you
Akane. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. You'll see."

Akane sighed, wiping at her eyes and smiling wanly at Kasumi. "I hope you're
right, Kasumi."

"I know I am. Would you like some tea?" Akane nodded and Kasumi returned to
the kitchen to prepare it.

Later that night Kasumi sat in front of her mirror, brushing her hair vigorously,
her brow creased in deep thought. Akane was right; Happosai was getting out of hand.
The old master continuously disrupted the harmony of the neighborhood. While the same
could be said about Ranma, at least there was no malice in his misadventures. That could
not be said of Happosai. He needed to be reined in, before he tarnished the dojo's
reputation irreversibly. Unfortunately her father and Uncle Saotome would be useless for
such an endeavor, and it wouldn't be fair to let the responsibility devolve to Ranma.
Though he stood to inherit the dojo with Akane, he was a guest. Kasumi put down her
brush with a sigh. She preferred not to get involved in such matters, but there seemed to
be no choice. But just what she could possibly accomplish, she did not know.

"Perhaps an answer will come in my dreams," she said, as she composed herself
for slumber. She switched off her bedroom light and peacefully fell asleep.

*****

"Lady Kasumi! Lady Kasumi! Tell us a story!" the children and kittens of Ulthar
cried.

"Tell us of the first time you saw white walled Kaiin!"

"Tell us about when you met Liane the Wayfarer and tricked him out of the gold
he stole!"

"Tell us about how you escaped from Ariarch the Astromancer when he tried to
imprison you in his tower!"

"Please Lady Kasumi, tell us a story!" said the children and kittens together.

Kasumi looked up from her book and smiled. "I'll tell you a story tomorrow, but I
can not today. Today I need to prepare for something important. Come to me tomorrow
and I'll tell you all the stories you want."

The children and kittens pleaded with her a little but Kasumi was firm, so they did
not press the issue; they loved her too dearly to discommode her. So reminding her that
she promised to tell them tales the next day they left her alone in the courtyard of the
Foaming Tankard Inn to go play in the streets and fields of Ulthar. Kasumi watched them
go with an affectionate smile, taking a sip from her goblet of wine before returning to the
perusal of her grimoire and the task of encompassing the fiery, potent sigils with her
thought.

*****

"Father, Uncle Saotome, could you do me a favor?"

"What is it, Kasumi dear?"

"I need a few things from the market, but I have so much to do around the house
today I can't afford to take the time. Could you please go for me? I know it's a bother�"

"Not at all, Daughter. Saotome and I could use the fresh air. Isn't that right?"
Genma Saotome whistled non-committally, looking out at the backyard as he un-
obtrusively pocketed the shogi stone he just swiped from Soun's side of the board.

Kasumi watched her father and his friend walked out to the street. 'Good,' she
thought. 'Akane, Nabiki and Ranma are at school and now Father and Uncle Saotome are
out of the way. It's time to begin.' With an almost malicious smile she walked to
Happosai's room. The old pervert was within, humming happily as he ironed his silky
darlings.

"Hee hee hee! What luck I've had recently! These are wonderful additions to my
collection."

"Grandfather Happosai." He looked up at Kasumi. She stood in the doorway, her
expression stern. He blinked at this unusual sight.

"What is it, Kasumi my sweet?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Your recent behavior. It is bringing shame and unwanted attention to this house.
You're disturbing the neighbors, embarrassing the young women of the ward and
upsetting my family. If you do not begin to behave with the dignity appropriate for a man
of your age then I'm afraid there won't be a place here for you any longer,"

Happosai looked at Kasumi askance. He drew out his pipe, lit it and took a big
puff of smoke. "Oh really, child? And just who will remove me from this comfortable
house?"

Kasumi's smile was shark-like and chill. "If you don't agree to my request, then I
will be forced to take the appropriate steps."

Happosai guffawed, shaking with mirth. "Ho ho ho! That's rich. Ah me, I always
knew there was a sense of humor beneath that demure little housewife fa�ade you project,
Kasumi dear."

"I'm quite serious, Grandfather Happosai." Happosai clamped his pipe hard
between his teeth, leaning forward and leering lasciviously at Kasumi.

"Well then, why don't you show me what you'll do?"

"I shall," answered Kasumi, and she uttered quietly the Spell of the Slow Hour.
The air shimmered around Happosai as his metabolism slowed, the speed of his volition
creeping down to a snail's pace. Smiling placidly Kasumi brought forth the coil of rope
she was hiding behind her back and preceded to expertly tie the old pervert up. Whistling
happily she carried him out of the house, pausing only to fetch certain items from the
dojo and something she had secreted in her own bedroom.

*****

At lunch a commotion outside Furinkin High's gates attracted Ranma and
Akane's attention. They found a horde of girls jostling for position around a tree,
shouting gleefully, while some boys watched on, amused and perhaps a trifle scared.

"What's going on?" Ranma asked a junior. The boy just smirked and pointed. The
crowd of girls parted, revealing Happosai, quite bruised and battered, tied up and hanging
upside-down from a low sprouting bough. A sign had been placed at the base of the tree.
Written on it in a flowing, graceful hand was: 'Whack the Pervert, one yen per blow." A
bucket, tended by Nabiki, sat next to the sign, overflowing with coins. Yuka stood next to
Happosai, winding up with a shinnai. A long line of girls waited nearby in eager
impatience. Ranma and Akane blinked incredulously. They looked at the scene before
them, then at each other, then without a word turned away and returned to their lunches.

*****

Kasumi swept the porch, singing happily, when she sensed a malign presence
behind her. Turning she found Happosai glaring at her. The diminutive mater's skin was
almost black from all the bruises he suffered. His head was heavily bandaged and he
leaned precariously on a makeshift crutch.

"Grandfather Happosai, you're back!" Kasumi exclaimed sweetly. "I wasn't
expecting you so soon." Happosai attempted to speak. It came out as a croak. With
visible effort he composed himself and spoke again.

"How did you do that to me?" he demanded. Kasumi just smiled.

"Oh, its just something I picked up, going through life. Now, can I expect you to
behave properly in the future?" With a blasphemous curse Happosai threw aside his
crutch and tore off his bandages.

"It pains me to do this, young lady, but you have left me no choice. Not even
Ranma has humiliated me in such a fashion! I'm afraid I'm going to have to discipline
you."

Kasumi stepped back, a look of alarm spreading across her pretty face. "I
wouldn't recommend doing that," she warned. Ignoring her Happosai took a step
forward.

"I'm going to spank you thoroughly, and once we're done we shall discuss these
little tricks you 'picked up.'" He leapt at Kasumi, shriveled hands extended. Kasumi
jumped back, desperately crying out the words of the Charm of Alacritous Motion.
Suddenly she blurred and dodged out of Happosai's way. He crashed noisily into the
porch. Picking himself up, he shook away the daze of the impact and looked
incredulously at Kasumi. She stood near the koi pond, smoothing out the skirt of her
dress.

"That wasn't very nice," she said in reproach. With a snarl Happosai charged
again. She blurred and he landed in the pond with a prodigious splash. Cursing
vociferously he chased her all around the back yard, but Kasumi easily kept ahead of
him; after five minutes Happosai was exhausted, panting for breath while Kasumi, though
slightly disheveled, seemed not to be even winded.

"How� How are you doing this?" he demanded petulantly between puffs and
gasps. "Not even Ranma is that fast!"

"I told you, I've picked up a few things here and there. This has gone on long
enough. All you have to do is promise to behave properly and all will be settled amiably.
But if you insist on carrying on like this you'll force me to take a drastic action."

"Never!" declared Happosai. "I am the greatest evil Japan has ever seen. I have a
reputation to live up to. The day I submit to a little girl like you is the day they bury my
cold, lifeless carcass!" He gathered himself up and made one final, prodigious leap at
Kasumi.

Kasumi sighed and shook her head. "There's no help for it, I'm afraid." She
evaded Happosai, rushing around behind him. She mentally dispelled the Charm of
Alacritous Motion and as the old pervert turned around she cast the Excellent Prismatic
Spray. A boom like thunder echoed through the yard as from all directions streamers of
multi-colored fire assailed Happosai, charring him to a cinder. The spell ended and
Happosai stood frozen, his hands held up in warding signs. He toppled over and laid still,
groaning piteously. Kasumi viewed her handiwork with satisfaction. 'He's fortunate. The
Spray seems weaker here in the waking world. If we were in the dreamlands it would
have split him apart.'

"Well, I hope that settles our little dispute. Will you now behave with the
decorum expected of a man your age?" Happosai groaned again. Kasumi clapped her
hands joyously. "Excellent. I knew you'd see reason! Go clean up and get some rest �
tomorrow we begin your reformation."

*****

The next evening the Tendos and Saotomes sat eating dinner when Happosai
entered the living room, head bowed submissively.

"Miss Kasumi, the front yard has been raked, the roof has been patched and re-
shingled and I've just taken in the wash," Happosai reported diffidently. Kasumi smiled
brilliantly.

"That's wonderful, Grandfather Happosai. You may eat now. I've set your dinner
aside in the kitchen." Happosai shuffled off. Her family watched this exchange
incredulously, gape-mouthed and wide-eyed.

"How did you do it?" Ranma asked. Kasumi giggled.

"Oh, I have my little ways, Ranma."

"I'm so proud of my little girl!" Soun declared, weeping in joy. Genma grunted in
agreement. Nabiki and Akane couldn't help but smile. Kasumi smiled too, and drank her
tea.

/////

Author's Notes:

Written in one sitting, this story has been edited and revised.

When I published the second chapter of Kasumi the Wayfarer someone wrote to
me and asked if Kasumi ever tried to use the spells she knew in the dreamlands in the
waking world. I told him that the spells wouldn't work in the waking world, since they
represented a logic only applicable in the dreamlands, though other skills learned could
be carried over (here's a hint: don't attack Kasumi if she's anywhere near a knife or a
sword). But the question got me to thinking. The result you can see here. This is not part
of the continuity of the main story. It's what DC Comics use to call 'an imaginary story'.

I hope this story brought you some enjoyment. Kasumi the Wayfarer chapter 3
should hopefully be out soon, though I'm reluctant to make any firm promises.
Comments and questions can be directed to DorianVal@aol.com.

Thanks for your time and tolerance,

Jeremy Harper