Hi.

I quite liked this, you seemed to get the characters just right.

Here are a few things I found:

At 09:33 PM 2/10/2002 -0600, Vash The Stampede wrote:

His dark eyes opened ,despite the water that pounded against his shoulders,

Comma in the wrong place, I think.

He paused for a moment, before completely the final knot. "I'm, ah, decent,
Sango." His lips quirked at his choice of words. "You can come closer."

completely -> completing?

Um, that's all. :D Nice work.


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'