Comments##


<SNIP>

�"Full Moon wo Sagashite" (Searching for the Full
Moon) is copyright the Original Author and

associated

parties, none of which are myself.

@@GIVE proper credit to the original author BY NAME.
@@@@

At the time of writing, I did not have access to that
information. �I am very well aware that it's not a
good thing; but I felt a disclaimer stating I didn't
know who was the true copyright holder but that it
wasn't myself was better than no disclaimer at all.

##It's sometimes surprisingly difficult to find out
who authored a particular manga or anime. One possible
solution would be to amend your original Disclaimer:

 �"Full Moon wo Sagashite" (Searching for the Full
Moon) is copyright the Original Author and
associated parties, none of whom I am able
to properly identify at this time. Assistance
in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
####

<SNIP>

@@Put author notes at the END of the story
@@@@

I do not feel that a request for a critical reading
should be made AFTER the document has been read. 
That's rather backward, don't you agree? �

##Hmmm . . .Okay, there's a certain justification
for that. I'm not certain it really makes that much 
difference, but you have a point.
####

I normally do place my notes after the story, but I
reserve that place for notes ON the story.

##IMO, a small request for C&C at the beginning
is fairly unobtrusive. The rest delays actually
getting to the story. And, it's not a positive
setup for your story. But, as with everything else
it's only my opinion. ^_*
#### 

As for not getting C&C???
Well, I just got a rejection from Asimov's SF. A
form
letter. :( 
Generally that's all you can expect in Real Life. On
the FFML?
It's all free and most readers are not going to take
the time
to write. UNLESS, the story is very exceptional or
more
likely controversial. Rape, bestiality and
characters 
hair-colour are always good topics to generate at
least some C&C. 
@@@@

True - but in discussions with target groups, I've
been told that some people don't feel comfortable
giving C&C unless requested. �Others don't unless they
are reminded that it's welcome. �Also, I really feel
that this lack is a signal I *need* to improve, as I'm
not even getting 'that's great' notes anymore.

##??? I'm not sure who you've been talking to, but
I've never noticed anyone in FFML was _reluctant_ 
to give C&C. Generally the problem is getting them
to shut-up. ^_O
Lack of C&C isn't really a signal of anything. Actually
GOOD stories are unlikely to get much reaction. The MOST
C&C I can recall being generated was on "Kasumi's Dark Secret"
which was SO bad I literally couldn't read it to C&C; so
I wrote a parody of it. But there were MANY brave people on FFML
who wrote C&C about it.

 Generating C&C:
1)Write a VERY, VERY bad story.
2)Write a controversial story:
Kasumi as a harlot or Nabiki as drug dealer
Sailor Moon bestiality (a 13 year old boy named 'oscar'
actually did this. HIS stories were so dreadful that
there is a web-page dedicated to BAD fanfiction named in his
honor. {http://ficbitch.wishing-blue.net/index.htm})

If you write a good story or even a great story, people
simply read and enjoy. It takes a bit of a jolt to get
people to write C&C. �
Writing a lot of C&C can sometimes get you C&C in return
as most authors at least will remember your name and 
put you at the top of the list to return the favor.
####

�I was charmed when she chose 'Full Moon' for her
stage name, like everyone else, but now, watching

her,

I'm not sure that she chose the right one. �Perhaps
'Shooting Star' would have been more appropriate. 
Watching her, I am struck by a sense of

impermanence. 

/Remember,/ some little voice is whispering in my
soul. �/Never forget this moment, for it will never
come again..../

@@First Person POV is always difficult, IMO.
Many publishers won't even read a story written
in First Person.
IMO, you're better off NOT using / �/ as a
substitute
for Italic script. I find it breaks the flow of the
story and is difficult to read. I generally use
* word word word �* or perhaps _word_.

I'm not using / / to enclose italics; they are my
preferred punctuation for thoughts. �I mark italics
with *word*, as you suggest.

##Well,IMO, using italic (*word*) to suggest thought
rather than a separate symbol, simplifies things
and improves readability. But, this is certainly
not an absolute. Just my opinion. O_O
####

I wrote this story in first person because I wanted to
subtly show some of the limitations of this particular
character - where her knowledge ends and where she
might extrapolate further. �If I were planning to
publish it, I agree, third person would probably be
more versatile.

##NO, NO! I beg your pardon. I was NOT trying
to tell you that you MUST write in third person.
Only that:
1)First is incredibly difficult to do
2)I couldn't do it
3)For that reason, my C&C might be of limited
value.

I think it would have been easier to do
in Third, but First works. My real objection
was that the story was too short. I wanted more
detail to develop characterization more fully.
####

I'm reasonably familiar with Full Moon (I've seen
the first thirteen episodes, so I can follow this
a little. But this would be incomprehensible to
anyone
who hasn't seen at least a couple of episodes. This
is a problem with writing any fanfiction. And, I
think,
why there are more SM and Ranma fanfics than almost
any other
series. �Because it's a fairly safe assumption that
most readers on FFML know the characters and
situations.
@@@@

Unfortunately, yes. �That's one reason why I did
publish it here. �An effort to reach out to other fans
of obscure shoujo anime.

##This just happened to me on another fanfic, based on
"Duke Nukem" *(A video game, as it turns out)
Maybe authors could put a note at the beginning
to the effect that a particular story was only for
fans of a particular series?
I look at story-telling, characterization, etc.
when I read and C&C, which I believe should be
reasonably independent of the readers knowledge
of any particular series.
#### 

<SNIP>

@@Nice imagery, especially at the end.

Thank you very much. �And thank you for commenting.

Best wishes,
Raye

##You are certainly welcome.
As I said, I think this story has a lot of potential.
IMO you hurt yourself trying to stick so closely
to "Full Moon". There is also the problem, common to
all fiction writing, that the author KNOWS the characters
and story so well that s/he sometimes doesn't actually
put onto paper things that are needed so the reader
will also know what's going on. (I've been spending a
LOT of time trying to fix later chapters of "Lure
the Tiger" for this very reason.)
And that's the real 'problem' that I see with your
story. What you have written is good. Some of it
exceptionally good. You simply need to add MORE
to help build a picture (especially an emotional
picture) for the reader.

Hope this helps a little. ^_O

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