Heya,

Not bad.  I didn't notice any major grammar or spelling mistakes, however, 
you might want to look into some kind of scene break.  It got rather 
confusing at times.

Also, the scene with the pool seemed rather derivitave.  Not sure what you 
can do to make it more original or whatever.

Kinda surprised that Ranma didn't ask Nabiki why she blabbed about the 
engagement when they're not even considered engaged at the momnent.

I think that's it

C-Ya ='P

Jon Osborne

Never mistake motion for action.
     -Ernest Hemingway

Confidence...translates into power.
     -Trisha Yearwood


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