On Tue, 24 Sep 2002, Chris Nasipak wrote:

Okay... have done the websearch. Have checked the archives. Have failed
completely.

Chris(may I call you Chris?), I'd like to congratulate you for your sheer
tenacity in not only reading fanfics over the web, but for even using the
computer in general.  You see, while you have not explicitly stated it, I
can only conclude that you are either clinically blind, or someone who has
lost all but one finger.

Chris, you may wonder how I have discovered your secret.  Actually, it was
simple deduction.  Of the archives I checked, Chris, Rakhal's Ranma 1/2
index has it, the TASS RAAC Mirror for Ranma fics has it, and that also
means that any RAAC mirror with the Ranma directory will also consequently
have it.  Fanfiction.net has it.  The seven search engines I could think
of off the top of my head, when using the title with the exact same
spelling that you provided in your email, all had a working link on the
first page.  The search engines I used are listed below.  (Asking from
idle curiosity, what search engines did YOU use, Chris?)

So, Chris, it obviously had to be either one of those two reasons.  It
couldn't be because you can't read at all, or you wouldn't have made the
request for a fic.  It couldn't be because of a mental disability, because
I have a few friends who ARE classified as having such, and THEY are able
to use search engines.  And it can't be because you're a lazy bum who
decided to save 3 minutes by spamming 1000+ people at once, Chris, because
the moral fiber of the least virtuous FFMLer is of such magnitudes that
they make saints feel like sinners in comparison, and I just know that you
wouldn't stoop to such lowly pathetically self-centered depths.

Thus, it had to be some sort of hinderance that would prevent you from
using a mouse, but would allow you to type an email.  I could only think
of these two disabilities, and the fact that you must have had to suffer
so much effort to type this email, and all for a fanfic, says much
of your character.

In fact, Chris, I've been thinking.  It's really too bad that some people
would not be able to read between the lines in your email, and just might
think you were either lazy or incompetant.  I feel that it may be a good
idea to propose to Vince, the FAQ maintainer, and the rest of the Tybalt
Gang that it may be a good idea to start banning people for a fic request
if the exact information they supply is enough to find it in under 5
minutes of searching though Google.  I know that it seems extreme, but
this sort of spamming has been going on for years, and it seems that
some incompetants (I don't mean you, Chris, as a disability such as
yours would make it difficult) can't read the FAQ section on fic requests.
These people not only rampantly spam, but when someone who is in serious
need of help such as yourself post reqests, their unmannerly behaviour
just underscores your basic plight.

I hope you'll back me on this one.

Engines:
www.google.com
www.altavista.digital.com
www.lycos.com
www.webcrawler.com
www.hotbot.com
www.find.com
www.yahoo.com

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner,
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I had been betrayed.  "Tell me,"
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao," he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...








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