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Mystic Eyes
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
standard disclaimers
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice
Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part
of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An
On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as
long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002
by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or
part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in
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promotional purposes.
AN: For those who have been encouraging this, much to
my surprise. Ciel Envoye, Ely, Stef, Jo... thank
you.
***************************
PART FOUR: THE FOOL
Keywords:
Beginning, Spontaneity
Apparent Folly, Faith
***************************
As Card 0, the Fool lies at the beginning of the major
Arcana, but also somewhat apart from the other cards.
In medieval courts, the court jester was someone who
was not expected to follow the same rules as others.
He could observe and then poke fun. This makes the
Fool unpredictable and full of surprises. He reminds
us of the unlimited potential and spontaneity inherent
in every moment. There is a sense with this card that
anything goes - nothing is certain or regular. The
Fool adds the new and unfamiliar to a situation.
The Fool also represents the complete faith that life
is good and worthy of trust. Some might call the Fool
too innocent, but his innocence sustains him and
brings him joy. In readings, the Fool can signal a new
beginning or change of direction - one that will guide
you onto a path of adventure, wonder and personal
growth. He also reminds you to keep your faith and
trust your natural responses. If you are facing a
decision or moment of doubt, the Fool tells you to
believe in yourself and follow your heart no matter
how crazy or foolish your impulses may seem.
***************************
Hitomi usually got up early every morning to jog
before breakfast, even on weekends. Needless to say,
after her eventful night, she fully intended on
breaking her usual pattern. She was buried up to her
eyebrows under three comforters, and was sleeping
deeply.
She didn't hear the scratching in her lock, or the
"click" that signaled that it had been forced opened,
which was unusual, since she was usual well-aware of
her surroundings. She didn't feel the presence of
another student in her room until the person yanked
her blankets back, startling her into wakefulness by
yelling, "JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?" at
the top of their lungs.
It was certainly an interesting way to awaken.
Hitomi skittered backwards, making a grab for her
covers, which were pulled out of her reach by an
unsympathetic Bridget McClellan. The redhead looked
remarkably awake for someone who should have, by all
right, be suffering from the hangover of the century.
Her hair was still damp from the shower, curling
slightly inwards at the tips, and her face was clean
of the previous night's makeup. She wore khakis and a
yellow summer sweater, which had a scooped neck that
drew the eye to her impressive assets. Still, it was
her ferocious scowl that Hitomi's sleepy attention
focused on.
"Bridget? How did you get in here?" she asked.
"I picked the lock." She was totally unashamed at
herself, as she gathered the blankets and put them out
of Hitomi's reach.
"You picked the LOCK?" Hitomi exclaimed in disbelief.
"I needed to talk to you." Now that Bridget's hands
were free, they found their way to her hips. She
leaned forward on the balls of her feet belligerently,
her jaw jutting out stubbornly. She looked about
ready to rip something -or someone- apart with her
bare hands.
There was something familiar about it, but Hitomi
couldn't place it. "What do you want?"
"I get home at four, and I find a message on my
machine from Van. Rather than thanking me for
introducing him to the girl of his dreams, he's
talking about how my friend took off when she saw his
pendant... now why would you do that?" Bridget
demanded icily.
Hitomi hadn't known her teammate had such a temper.
Bridget had always struck her as happy-go-lucky, but
she was learning differently now. Bri's sapphire
blue eyes were spitting fire, and Hitomi wondered if
the other girl was going to strangle her. "I- was
surprised..."
"Is there something wrong with a guy wearing a
necklace? You have my cousin questioning his
masculinity... he was really upset... not that he came
out and said it, but I could tell." Bridget's eyes
turned into two pieces of ice. "No one upset Van..."
Bridget said in a dangerously level tone.
Hitomi looked at the furious Irish girl, and took a
deep breath, trying to think of an explanation.
Usually she wouldn't bothering explaining her actions,
but she genuinely like Bridget (it was hard not to),
and didn't want her mad at her. "I'm sorry," she
said quietly.
Bridget seemed to pull up, and some of the rage
seemed to drain out of her. "What?"
"I'm sorry." Hitomi sat up completely, hanging her
legs over the edge of the bed. She was slightly
stiff, since she hadn't probably stretched after her
monstrous run, and she knew she was in desperate need
of a shower. "I- I had a pendant, once, exactly like
that. I gave it to a- a friend, and I thought I'd
never see it again. Seeing it on Van was... a
surprise. I panicked. I didn't mean to upset him."
"Well, you did!" Bridget said. She still wore a
scowl on her face as she plopped down on the bed
beside Hitomi, jostling the bed. "I really thought
you were a good person..."
"No one is a good person," Hitomi said. "We all
pretend to be, but when it comes down to it, there's
no such thing."
Bridget looked ready to argue that point, but
stopped, staring deeply into Hitomi's eyes. "Who
hurt you, Hitomi?" she asked.
"What?"
"Who hurt you? You're so bitter towards the
world..."
Hitomi went ice. That was the only way she could
describe her own reaction- her feelings froze, and her
confusion of the previous day disappeared with it.
Bridget had triggered one of Hitomi's defense
mechanism, and with it, Hitomi's old coolness. "The
world isn't a perfect place," she said. Her eyes
hardened into crystals that showed no soul, and she
rose to her feet, leaving Bridget behind.
As she left everyone behind.
"Hmmm.." Bridget said, though it was obvious she
wanted to argue. She flopped down on the bed
full-length, stretching leisurely. "Want to go to
lunch?" she offered.
"I have to meet my mother at two- I do it every
weekend," Hitomi said, though that was stretching the
truth. She hadn't really had any plans to meet her
mother, but now seemed like a good time to get off
campus and away from the weirdness that had just
become a part of her life again.
"Uh-huh... then I suggest you get dressed," Bridget
suggested, coming to her feet. "Your bed's not bad,
for a dorm bed. Sucks they make freshmen live on
campus, though. You ever feel like getting away, let
me know. You can crash at my place."
"Thank you," Hitomi said, turning to her dresser and
pulling out clothes. Her mother would be pleased to
see her. She could bring her books, and get some
extra studying in... Hitomi's mind started to wander,
dismissing the hyper girl who was poking through her
collection of CDs.
"Anyway, I'll meet you here Monday at six, so we can
run!" Bridget said, bounding for the door with amazing
energy.
Hitomi spun around. "Meet me? Monday?" she echoed,
managed to catch the redhead just before she escaped.
"Sure! I'll give you tomorrow to think, but we
still have some serious talking to do! Besides, none
of the others are willing to get up that early to
train with me! Bai bai!" she said, waving cutely
before slamming the door shut behind her.
Hitomi blinked, feeling like she had just been swept
away by a hurricane.
***************************
By Monday, Hitomi was feeling more balanced than she
had in a while. She was half-tempted to pretend to
forget about meeting Bridget, but she knew that
Bridget would just keep hounding her until she caved
in. It would be better to meet her for a jog,
pretend nothing was wrong, and go to classes.
She tied her shoes on tightly and performed a few
stretches, her soft blonde hair scraped back from her
face and into a bun. One of the metal pins dug into
her scalp uncomfortably, and she adjusted it a few
times, trying to get it to lay more comfortably, with
no luck. With a mental sigh of disgust, she yanked
it out, and a lock feel free, tumbling right between
her eyes.
She was just about to attend to it when her door
burst open, and Bridget bounced it. She looked
disgustingly bright-eyed and alert, and her teal
jogging outfit was amazingly cheerful for the early
hour of the day. "Ohayo, Tomi-chan!" she said.
"It's Hitomi," Hitomi corrected her, trying to get
her hair to behave. "I don't use any nicknames.
Have you stretched?"
"I stretched before conning that co-ed to let me in-
do you know his name? He's a frosh, awfully cute...
wonder if he's interesting in an older woman?" Bridget
said cheerfully. "Here, let me," she said, and
grabbed the pin Hitomi had been struggling with out of
her hands.
"That's really not-" Hitomi began, but Bridget's deft
hands were braiding the hair and wrapping it into her
bun before her protest made sense.
"It's no biggie. I love doing hair. Ready to run?"
"I'm always ready to run," Hitomi answered.
Bridget looked a little nervous. "This is just a
training run, not a race..."
"If it gets to much for you, I can slow down," Hitomi
offered consolingly. She knew that it wouldn't
become an issue- even if she was dying, Bridget
McClellan wouldn't admit defeat. Besides, of
everyone on the team, Bri was the one most capable of
keeping up.
"You can eat my dust, Kanzaki!" Bridget said
laughingly, grabbing the door and barreling out of it,
her laughter echoing down the empty halls.
Hitomi took off awkwardly, a good five feet behind
Bridget. The Irish girl hurtled over the couch in
the lobby, gaining even more time over Hitomi, who
frankly stunk at hurtling. Then Bri blew a kiss to
the surprised desk attendant, who hit the automatic
button that unlocked the doors and opened them
remotely, and allowing Bridget to speed unimpeded out
into the new day.
Hitomi had been preparing for her usual jog, not a
breakneck dash over rough terrain. Around them other
walkers and a few joggers watched them past, surprised
to see two of the schools star sprinters racing
will-he nil-he, and even more surprised that Bridget
was in the lead. The jump Bridget had gotten on
Hitomi had given her enough of a lead to keep, and
Hitomi was too concerned about breaking an ankle to
really cut-loose and just run. Still, she couldn't
remember the last time she had been behind someone in
a race, and it was oddly exhilarating.
She was chasing a flesh-and-blood person.
Hitomi ran as she always did, waiting for that
sensation of... maybe, maybe.
But it didn't come.
Instead, she felt her blood pounding through her
slender body, and she could taste the spring air,
alive with the possibilities. Bridget ran in front
of her, the pounding of her footsteps forming a steady
cadence that Hitomi used to pace her breathing.
Bridget didn't bother to glance over her shoulder,
but rather focused on what was ahead of her, dodging
the people who were going in the opposite direction.
Hitomi and Bridget raced until they came to the quad,
when Bridget abruptly did a handstand, then let
herself sprawl onto the grass. Hitomi slowed down,
for once having exerted herself. "You should cool
down properly."
"Ah, I'll get a cramp or two... I've had worse,"
Bridget said.
Hitomi rested her hands on her hips, staring down at
the carefree redhead. "Still, coach would kill
you..."
"And she's going to find out how?" Bridget asked.
"Half the campus saw us running like lunatics,
Bridget-san," she said.
"Chan."
"Huh?"
Bridget's hand -now with nails polished with neon
green paint, accented by sparkly pink butterfly
stickers- snaked out and caught Hitomi's right ankle,
jerking it. Hitomi wobbled, and went crashing to the
ground. "We're friends, ne?
Hitomi caught herself, rolled over, and stared at the
strangely hyper girl. "You're weird," she said.
"I'm just different than what you're used to. That
doesn't make me weird, per se... well, I guess it
does, but that's never bothered me before. Oh... look
at the clouds! I wonder if we're going to get some
rain?" Bridget said, shading her eyes the sun with a
hand and pointing up to the sky with the others.
Hitomi listened to her babble, studying the clouds.
"Perhaps."
"I used to dream that the clouds were guardians to
some vast secret- that if I could fly, I'd be able to
go through the clouds, and see what secrets they held-
perhaps heaven is really up there, or maybe there's
another world... Or just that silver lining my nurse
used to promise me was in every dark cloud. You
know?"
Hitomi didn't answer. She knew that there were
other worlds, but that they were hidden far beyond the
clouds.
"Ah, I'm rambling again. Anyway, I have an eight
am, so I should get back. You ready, Tomi-chan?"
"Hitomi," she corrected.
"Whatever," Bridget laughed, coming to her feet and
taking off like the wind was aiding her.
Which didn't help her against Hitomi, for this time
Kanzaki Hitomi remembered how to run. No
distractions, no race... just RUN. There was no
thoughts of catching Van, just the rhythm of her body,
and the feeling of freedom, the knowledge that there
was nothing that could stop her.
She ran all the back to the dorm, Bridget falling
behind her early on, and staying there. There were
more people around now, and they paused to watch her,
her form graceful and perfect and somehow divine.
She halted at her dorm, abruptly realizing her ID was
still inside. Leaning over, she tried catch her
breath, turning to glare at Bridget, who gave her a
grin. "That was fun! We should do this again- not
on a meet or time trials day, though."
"Definitely not," Hitomi agreed.
"Well, tomorrow is the meet against Todai... so maybe
Wednesday... argh, I have a test at seven thirty....
Stupid early morning tests, doncha think? Guess
Thursday, then! Anyway, see you at practice!"
Hitomi watched the amazing hyper redhead bounce
towards her car, and wondered how she'd get into her
dorm.
***************************
Todai had a tough track team.
One of the girls, Hajime Fuuko, was rumored to be a
shoo-in for the national team. She hadn't lost in a
year, and had only had one tie, and that had been last
year, against Bridget.
But she had never raced against Kanzaki Hitomi.
The crowd was heavier then usual, and Hitomi could
see that the entire campus had turned out, as well as
some reporters. This was news- first meeting of two
girls who would most likely be two of the nation's
star hopes for the Olympics in 2004.
Hitomi watched the crowd for a second before tuning
them out. Her mother didn't come to her meets
anymore because of work, and there was no one else she
cared about. Yukari wasn't there as her manager, so
she lugged her own bag over, took a small sip of
water, wet her forehead, and did some stretches. She
was ranked second, an unusual position for her, since
she and Hajime Fuuko had the same record. Since Fuuko
was a junior, she was given the first seed.
Bridget was talking cheerfully to her manager, but
Hitomi was off in her own world, concentrating on her
body. She heard the call for runners, and went over
to the starting blocks.
Fuuko was amazingly tall for a Japanese woman, and
something about her eyes suggested that she was
probably a half. The girl gave her a half-smile.
"I'm going to win."
"Believe that if you want," Hitomi said
indifferently, as Bridget took the third position
beside her.
"Oi, Fuuko-chan!" Bridget said. "No fair psyching
out the competition! Or trying to... Hitomi's a
little bit beyond that!" she laughed.
Hitomi just gave her teammate a Look, then turned her
attention to the starter. "Runners take your
positions!"
She slid into the starting blocks, bracing her feet
carefully, and focusing on the gun. She took a deep
breath, then exhaled, waiting. The crowd and her
competitors disappeared... "On Your Mark.... Get
Set..." she poised, ready...
BEEEP!
False start.
She turned, glancing at the runner in lane six, who
either through nerves or plan had false-started,
taking off before the gun was fired. Some runners
liked to do it, to unnerve their competition. Hitomi
thought it was childish, the sign of poor
sportsmanship.
She sighed, straightened, and took a moment to
stretch as the usual warnings were issued before
stepping back into the blocks. The starter again
raised his gun. "On Your Mark... Get Set... GO!"
The loud firing of the gun had her launching out
before she even was conscious of moving. There was
nothing except her and the track, and the search.
Her breathing was even as she moved forward, her
perfect start helping her quickly surpassed the other
runners as she ran, waiting for her dreams to start.
This time, she swore, she would catch him.
She always swore that, whenever she raced. She never
did, but it was a reason to keep running... and a
reason to never look back.
Had she looked back, she would have seen a stunned
and frustrated expression on Fuuko's face, and an
amused smile on Bridget's face as they finished 1,
2-2... Hitomi ignored the ribbon that broke across
her chest, bowed to the race officials, and then
walked a cool-down lap before Fuuko came over to her.
"How- how?" she demanded. "You beat me by three
tenths of a second! And this was my best time for
this track!" The taller girl's voice was angry.
"You race to win. I just run. There is the
difference between us." Hitomi turned to where the
judges were presenting the medals, troubled.
This run, too, had been different.
Why?
Why hadn't she thought of Van?
This match... she had ran as she had ran the others,
but perhaps this time had been one of her fastest.
She had ran until she thought her heart would explode,
but this time, there was no visions of nearly catching
Van.
She wasn't chasing him anymore... because all she had
to do was pick up the phone and call. Her running had
brought her to the appropriate place- now she simply
had to speak, and undo the damage she had caused by
running at the wrong time.
Hitomi frowned thoughtfully, ignoring the weight of
her new medal. The sun was sting to set, and by all
rights she should head for the showers, but she wanted
some time to think. So instead, she pulled her warm
ups on and sat down, thinking.
Bridget was right- she had screwed up. She had been
offered a second chance, and she had been too
concerned over the hows and whys, instead of just
going with it, and embracing her fate... embracing
fortune.
Bridget appeared in front of her, like a ghost or a
shadow suddenly given form. She tilted her head, and
held her hands behind her back. The silver medal of
second place glittered against her breast. "Good
race, as always. Thanks for running Fuuko into the
ground- she needed it."
"No one needs it." She stared at the redhead,
wondering how to broach the subject of Van with her.
She was protective of her cousin, and even though
Bridget had given signs that she desired friendship,
chances were that she wouldn't let Hitomi have another
chance with Van.
Not that Hitomi blamed her.
"It's good for her. Fuuko had forgotten what it was
like to lose, and that's something everyone needs to
know," Bridget said calmly, before raising her eyes to
the sky.
"Aren't you afraid I'll forget how to?"
"No. You already know more about loss that just
about anyone I've ever met before." Bridget's gaze
lowered, and she seemed to make a decision. "I have
to get going. We've got tomorrow off, but I'll see
you Thursday morning, at six!"
Hitomi smiled at her. "That sounds great."
"It will be!" Bridget turned and started to jog
away, then whirled when she was about ten feet away.
"CATCH!" she yelled, throwing something.
Something glimmered as it soared through the air, and
Hitomi reflectively reached up to catch it before it
could hit the ground. As soon as her fingers closed
around it, she knew what it was.
Van's pendant.
She looked at it in surprise, then up at where
Bridget ask her what she thought she was doing.
But Bridget wasn't there anymore. The wind picked
up, and Hitomi sat alone, the field abandoned.
It was fate.
Fate had brought Van back to her.
It was Van... there was no doubt about it now.
She could tell- this wasn't some look-alike
pendant.... It was the pendant. She had held her
hands against it, feeling the slight imperfections in
the chain. How often had she fallen asleep, cradling
it on Gaea, using it as a link home? How often had
she relied on it to lead her? How often had she
taken comfort in the knowledge that Van at least had
this part of her?
"Why are you back?" she whispered to it, even though
it could speak. "Are you here to torment me?"
The pendant lay cool against her hands, and she let
it fall, the chain dangling between her fingers. "I
haven't done this in so long..." she said, even more
softly. "Well... tell me where to go."
When she was younger, she used to have to focus a lot
of time and concentration to douse. Now, though, the
necklace practically jumped under its own will,
forward and slightly to the left. She blinked, and
turned towards where it was pointing...
...to see a confused Donovan Masanori looking at her.
He quickly crossed the distance between them, and she
saw the confusion in his eyes, as she rose to her feet
to meet him partway there. "That's my necklace," he
said. "I've been looking everywhere for it..."
"Bridget threw it at me," Hitomi said, studying the
seemingly delicate pendant before holding it up so it
caught the late afternoon sunlight.
An embarrassed smile crossed found life on his face.
"Ah. I should have suspected. She said she saw
you with it, and... well, I just should have known.
She's an unrepentant meddler."
"But you love her," Hitomi said. She was jealous.
"Sometimes she was all I had," Van answered.
"Really." Hitomi looked at the locker rooms, aware
that she was still wearing her sweaty clothing, and
her hair was scraped and lifeless.
"I saw you run." He changed the subject, apparently
aware that she was uncomfortable.
"I think most people did."
"What were you looking for?"
"Huh?" she was confused. Most people usually
complimented her on her skill, said it was wonderful
or amazing to watch her run- Van....
"When you run, you don't look at your competitors or
the finish line. Bri always wants to win... you
don't care about that- winning is incidental to it.
Your eyes are on something else... what?"
She stared at him, unable to believe that he was
having this conversation with her. "You... I think
I'm running towards you..." she said softly, staring
into his cinnamon eyes.
He smiled, touching her cheek softly with her hand.
"Why did you run from me?" he asked.
"Because... I was afraid..."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I know the possibilities, and I'm afraid of
being hurt again."
His hand fell away and he stared at her face. "When
I was little, I used to dream. I dreamed of a girl
with hair like honey, and a voice that was made of
music itself. I knew that I'd meet her someday...
and now I have. I won't let her go, because they say
that if you dream of your soul mate when your
little... you should never let them go."
"But-" she whispered.
"You don't know me, Kanzaki Hitomi, but at least give
me a chance. I would never intentionally hurt you,
but to love is to share in joy and pain. Without
pain, we would never be able to compare the ecstasy
love brings."
"I-" she tried, but then decided to concede to
inevitable. "I'm afraid."
"Meet me for lunch tomorrow... please? We can be
friends... but something tells me I have to know
you...."
She shook her head. "If I take a step towards you,
I'll fall in love... I can't be your friend...." The
pendant dangled between her fingers, and she
remembered the way it had pulled her. This was her
chance. Her last chance, most likely. She saw the
pain in his eyes, and caught onto his arm as he
started to turn away. It was time... she had to
embrace this.
"If you give me fifteen minutes, I can get a quick
shower and changed... would you like to go out to
dinner?" she offered shyly.
His eyes lit up. "For you, I would wait an
eternity," he said, taking her hand and kissing it in
an oddly old-fashion, but sensuous, gesture.
She nodded, and started to tell him where to meet
her, but her intuition kicked in. The pendant she was
still holding leapt towards the bleachers she has
abandoned for her talk. Suspicion crept into her
mind. "Bridget!" she called.
An unabashed redhead crawled out from under the
bleachers- apparently she had doubled back to find the
perfect hiding place. "I wanted to see if you two
could actually get your act together!" she announced
gleefully. "And I want my matchmaking fee! I
accept cash and most major credit cards!"
Van gritted his teeth. "BRI!"
"Well, you needed help, and I wasn't about to let my
FAVVVV cousin down!" she pronounced, tapping her foot
against the ground.
"Yes, thank you, now SCAT, or I start telling your
father EXACTLY what you spend your weekends doing!"
Van threatened.
Hitomi watched their bickering like a spectator at a
tennis match.
"Well, I'll just get on my way, Van-sama!" Bridget
teased, kissing her cousin on the cheek lightly in
farewell. Hitomi froze as the other girl waved to her
and bounced off.
"Van-sama?" she echoed.
Van blushed. "It's her way of teasing me. My
father's really rich, and she says I was raised like a
prince, and as soon as she found out about Japanese
honorifics... I guess I'm just lucky she doesn't call
me oujisama..."
Hitomi was stunned, then she almost burst into tears
of joy, as she realized another friend she thought
long-lost to her had been beside her for weeks. The
pieces of the puzzle clicked together for Hitomi at
that minute.
"Thanks, Merle," she whispered softly towards
Bridget's retreating back..
Van tilted his head towards Hitomi. "Did you say
something?" he asked curiously.
For a split second, she almost told him. Then she
thought better of it. So instead, she gave him a
smile, and laughed lightly. She stood up on her
tiptoes so she could whisper playfully in his ear,
"It's a secret!"
He seemed slightly surprised for a second, and then
he laughed as well. His cinnamon brown eyes sparkled
in challenge. "You're mysterious..." he said.
"Am I?" she asked, swinging her arms back so she
could neatly fold them behind her back.
"Yes." His grin widened. "I want to know all your
secrets..."
It troubled her for moment, but she brushed it aside.
"No man ever knows all of a woman's secrets! It's
called the feminine mystique!" she bantered playfully
back.
END PART FOUR
Technical Notes:
Up Next: Lovers
Keywords: Relationship, Personal Beliefs, Sexuality,
Values
Authors Notes:
Bri as Merle- yes. This is a Merle who is an adult,
human female who hasn't experienced war. She still
is slightly animalistic, very playful, and devoted to
Van- appropriately enough, she is his cousin. She's
also a foreigner with red hair- closest I could get to
pink.
Ahh... everything is going so nice and neatly for
them.... Now it's time to gum up the works!! *gets
monkey wrench out and prepares to wing it into the
story with a delighted laugh- then rethinks it and
pulls out multiple wrenches*
=====
Don�t ask of me to tell you where I�m from.
Don�t bury me in the lost yesterdays.
Don�t stop me any further.
Even now in my heart sleeps, my dream that like a storm is still raging.
I Want to Become the Wind
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/
http://www.midnightrevolution.org/quicksilver/
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