At 09:59 9/22/2002, siaru wrote:

;[spamfic] [ranma] Insertion

Disclaimer: All Ranma-1/2 characters and plot elements used here
are in fact the property of Rumiko Takahashi and her assigns,
and are used without their knowledge or permission. This is
fan-fiction: an open fan letter in prose.

---------------------------------------------------------------

                         Insertion

                      --siaru 22sep02

Right.  I went through this in two passes.  First was initial impressions, 
second was follow-up.  The second pass is denoted with parenthesis.

(Just like this, see?)

Thump.

That was the most forceful one yet, hitting the door a couple of
feet up before falling, spent, to the floor, surrounded by its
predecessors. He reached over and picked it up, and eyed it
critically. It was his last one, and it was getting a bit soggy

>from use. It was probably only good for one more shot.

Okay so far.  A bit curious, no bad feelings yet.

Ranma set things up again, then, taking careful aim, used the
trigger.

Thump.

Okay, generic Ranma training session thingy going on.....

(On a serious note, I'd suggest different wording here.  Perhaps "...aim, 
tried again."?)

This one hit the door maybe four feet up, but it left a mark.
That would have to do for this session, then. At least he
finished things.

(Left a mark....  Oh, for the hatred of humanity....)

He gathered up the spent rounds, even that first wide shot
sticking partway through a paper partition, and put them all
back in the bag he'd carried them home in, then dealt with
covering things up. When he turned to pick up the cups of hot
and cold water, he noticed that the empty tampon box was still
there on the floor next to where he'd been on hands and knees.

And....right about three seconds after I finished this paragraph....  It 
hit me.  Twitching ensued.  Once I could stagger to the bathroom, I 
promptly bleached my brain and clawed at my eyes while sobbing.

Oops, he thought, as he stuffed the box into the bag as well. It
wouldn't have done to leave _that_ out in the open for someone
to find. Someone like, say, Nabiki, who would find a way to turn
it into blackmail, or Akane, who would get upset for no good
reason. These people just didn't understand that, to Ranma
Saotome, _everything_ was practice.

You know, the really creepy thing is....  I can't argue with the logic 
here.  I wish I could.  Oh, how I wish I could.

-------------------------------------------------------------

This is a spamfic. If you really want to C&C it, bring it on.
ffml@anifics.com, siaru@stormbringer.org

Well, I brought it on.  Thanks for a well-written (if truly disturbing) 
spamfic.  ^^

Here's hoping to see more from you soon.  (Just...please try not to make me 
whimper next time?)

Ja Ne!
Slacker

***********************************************
STUDENT: Master, what is the secret of a popular fanfic?
MASTER: Child, the secret is simply this: You must serve the fans.
STUDENT: So the secret is fanservice?
MASTER: You begin to learn, grasshopper.

After finishing a story:
If you liked the story, drink a bottle to celebrate.
If you disliked the story, drink two bottles to cheer you up.
If you're apathetic, then drink till you care, dammit!
(From a Slayers drinking game.)



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