Gundam Wing is property of Sotsu Agency, Bandai
Studios, and TV Asahi. Sainan no Kekka and all
original characters and plot copyright 2000 by
Quicksilver and Gerald Tarrant. Please ask permission
before reposting.
Special thanks to Lyra Stormrider, co-writer of this
sidestory with Quicksilver.

 
SHIN KIDOU SENKI GUNDAM WING

SAINAN NO KEKKA
Reunion: Heero and Duo
Part II: Recidivus

 


"Can't bear to face the truth;
So sick he cannot move
and when it hurts he takes it out on you."
--Garbage, The Trick is to Keep Breathing
 
The parlor was crowded, and they had to wait ten
minutes for seats. It took most of Duo�s self-control
to keep from yelling �BOO!� at the top of his lungs at
the people who were staring at them. They were Gundam
pilots, not boogie men. Most of the eyes lingered on
his for a minute before transferring to Heero�s scar.
It wasn�t grotesque or disfiguring, but it did attract
a lot of attention. 

Part of Duo wondered if he should show off some his
war wounds, too. Why should Heero get all the
attention? Duo had a really interesting one on his
right hip from the time he�d been captured on the
Colonies�

It took a few more minutes before a waitress came over
with two menus in hand. "Sorry for the wait. What
section would you like to be seated in?" she asked,
glancing back and forth between the two, almost as
though she couldn�t believe her eyes. Deities didn�t
often descend to mingle with mere mortals, and she had
no clue how to treat them. She recognized them as two
of the Gundam pilots, of course, but if they were
going to be paying customers...

"Non-smoking." Duo replied with a wink and half-smile.
It was funny how things could feel like nothing had
changed, but at the same time, so different from
normal. When walking into a pizza parlor became a
whole new experience, it was a sign the world had
truly been turned on its end. "A corner booth or
table, if you have it."

�Yes, sirs!� she said, and there was something in her
voice that caused Duo to stare at her closely. It
wasn�t fear or hatred; it was something he dreaded
even more. It was hero worship.

She hustled them through the restaurant, and other
diners dropped their food, and conversations stopped
as they observed the celebrities in their midst. Duo
cringed internally and wondered if it would have been
better to have talked Hilde into making them dinner.
At least then, they would have had a semblance of
normalcy.

A frightening thought occurred to him then: now that
his face was known to the world, would the rest of his
life be like this?

Duo was surprised when Heero gave his arm a comforting
squeeze before letting go once more. He had forgotten
how much he could rely on Heero when things got rough.
Giving the other boy a slight, wan smile, he was
grateful when they reached a table in one of the
corners. Restaurants often called them the dating
booths, but Duo would have given anything for an ounce
of privacy then.

"Here are your menus. Take your time looking and I'll
be back to take your orders. Do you know what you want
to drink?" the waitress asked, her voice still holding
some of that awe as she spoke to them. She fidgeted
with her pen and order pad, eyes darting back and
forth like she wanted to memorize their features.

�Cola, large!� Duo said, always eager to go for the
most caffeinated thing on the menu. He�d ignore her
worship, he decided. 

Heero sighed. �Iced tea, medium.� He watched the
waitress scurry away before turning to Duo. �It�s been
a long time,� he said softly.

�A year and a half,� Duo said, his cheerfulness fading
into the seriousness that few people saw. �Good months
for me, mostly, but it looks like they were hell for
you,� he said. His eyes bore into Heero. �Goddamn it,
Heero, why did you start drugs?�

Heero ducked his head, not sure how to answer Duo's
question. What kind of answer could he give the other
boy, to make him understand. "I..."

Duo sighed a little, watching this uncharacteristic
behavior. The Heero of old would never avoid his eyes
like this. So much had changed, in such a little
amount of time. "Why...why don't you just start at the
beginning? Tell me...what you've been doing since we
last saw each other?" he asked quietly.

Heero looked around, and thankfully, there were no
other diners close enough to overhear. The waitress
had seated them in the most secluded seats. His blue
eyes were shadowed and almost shy as he raised them to
meet Duo�s again. �The war was over� and there was no
place for me. No place for any of us. I was going to
kill myself, but� I couldn�t. I was too weak.�

�You were strong,� Duo corrected. �It takes courage to
continue living.�

Heero's eyes widened a bit at Duo's words, and he
looked down at the menu again. "I...I suppose so. It
felt like weakness though." he sighed, running his
hand through his hair. "The drugs...they were...I
started because I wanted to forget. Forget the war,
forget everything. I did too, you know."

Duo sat quietly, which was quite unnatural for him, as
his friend spoke. Heero's voice was soft, and some of
the words he had to strain to hear. �You forgot me?�
Duo asked.

�Except in dreams,� Heero said, and his voice was
still soft. �When I dreamt, I knew something was
wrong. I dreamt of you and the other pilots, and of
Relena. You and Relena especially� I wonder why that
was?� he said, and he seemed to become distant, as
though he wasn�t seeing his surroundings.

�Because� I�m your best friend� and Relena is your
destiny,� Duo snapped back, feeling wounded. Heero had
forgotten me� It was liked being slapped across the
face.

Heero's gaze sharpened as he stared at Duo, but didn't
respond as the waitress returned with their drinks. He
could tell his words had wounded the longhaired pilot,
and he hated the feeling that caused to well up inside
of him. He wished he could take it all back, but Duo
valued the truth. Duo would rather live through the
pain of truth then have the comfort of lies.

So would all the other pilots� except him.

"Here you are, and do you know what you'd like to
order now?� she asked, setting the drinks down and
pulling out her notepad and pen.

�I�ll have a large five-cheese, stuffed crust
pepperoni pizza with extra pepperoni,� Duo ordered,
then turned his attention to Heero. Something about
the set of his jaw warned the former assassin that it
would be dangerous to say anything about cholesterol.

�You�re eating an entire pizza by yourself?� Heero
asked carefully.

�I�m a growing boy!� Duo said back sharply.

Heero arched his eyebrow at that, then turned to the
waitress. "A small vegetarian pizza, without olives,
please." he said, handing her his menu. Watching her
leave, he pondered what to say to Duo next. There
really didn't seem to be a point to going on with his
story if the other boy was still upset. "You're
angry." he murmured. It was a comment, not a question.

�Great observation,� Duo said, taking a deep swig of
his soda without really tasting it. The surge of
caffeine helped settled his nerves; he took three deep
breaths, shut his eyes, and then reopened them,
noticeably calmer. �Heero, how would you feel if I
told you I had forgotten about you?� he asked.

"Feel?" Heero blinked at this. He had spent so much
time being the Perfect Solider, the one that was
supposed to be unfeeling and uncaring, that it was
hard to address what he felt. "I...don't know, Duo."
he finally said. He gripped his drink, to give him
something to do. "Feeling is...hard. Especially when
you're not used to doing it." He sighed, not sure the
braided boy would understand.

Duo, though, understood better than Heero would ever
believe possible. �Heero, you�re one of the most
sensitive people I know. It�s your greatest strength,
and maybe your greatest weakness. You can�t cut
yourself off from us, because no matter what, we�re
going to come back. We are part of you, and you�re
part of us.� He looked thoughtfully at his friend, and
stared at the scar. �You may try to forget us, but you
can�t. Some part of you will always remember. Which is
why drugs are so fucking stupid.�

The corner of Heero's mouth twitched as he stared at
Duo. Sometimes it was hard to believe the wisdom that
could come from his friend's mouth. Especially
considering that Duo liked to bury his serious side
under that goofy facade. "I...I've started to realize
that, Duo. Now. I couldn't accept it back then. I
just...I just wanted to escape...from everything that
tied me to the war."

Duo didn�t release any more censuring words. Instead,
it was his turn to become sorrowful. �I think we all
did. I left Hilde. I�ve only been back with her for a
few weeks� how stupid can a guy get?�

�I think we all made mistakes. Some were worse then
others. Trowa and Quatre seemed to come through pretty
well.�

Duo�s eyes hardened. �Let�s not talk about them right
now. We�re talking about us, and how we are.�

Heero's eyebrow rose again at the look on Duo's face,
and the tone of his voice as he mentioned Trowa and
Quatre. Something wasn't right there, but he didn't
know what. Being out of touch with everything hadn't
helped anything. "I suppose so." He looked up at the
ceiling, wondering if he should continue his tale, or
let Duo tell him about where he'd been. Finally, he
spoke again. "Should I continue then? You'll probably
get angry again." he commented, voice flat.

�You�re always making me angry, but I�ll live,� Duo
said, sighing a little to himself.

�Anyway, I went home. L1, in the Breaks- where else
should a misplaced Japanese colonist go if he wants to
forget?�

Duo nodded. �I�ve heard about them. It�s a lot like a
bigger version of C-Side in L2� the dregs of society
are welcome, anyone else will get their throat slit
within a week.�

�That�s the place.� Heero paused for a moment as their
waitress returned with their food, serving them each
their first slice.

�Can I get you anything else?� she offered.

�No, thanks!� Duo said, flashing his most charming
smile as he dumped the red pepper and Parmesan cheese
over his.

Heero mutely shook his head as she asked if there was
anything else they needed. He watched her walk away
again before speaking. "As I was saying...I went back
to L1, wanting to forget, maybe even make a new life
for myself. I ended up falling in with an assassin
group..." He stopped talking long enough to finish off
the slice of pizza he held then sipped at the soda.
Heero glanced at Duo, to see what his reaction to all
of this was.

Duo wasn�t disgusted. If anything, there was amusement
on his face. �We were terrorists. Some people would
call us assassins already- I find it a natural
progression.� He reversed his pizza and started to eat
it, crust first. Classic Duo, always do things the
hard way.

Wufei had been horrified when he had found what Heero
had been doing for a living. The difference in their
reactions fascinated Heero.

That quirky little half-smile crossed Heero's lips
again as he stared at Duo. It was odd, how easy it was
for him to give slight smiles around the other boy. He
was so bright, bubbly, his enthusiasm tended to rub
off on those around him. "Well, anyway...I ended up
with Darkflight as a partner. Not too long afterwards,
we left that group and formed Shadowwing on our own.
We were the most sought after assassin group in the
Breaks..." his voice drifted off as he remembered.

�Always the best,� Duo said. �Some things don�t
change. Were you and Darkflight good friends?� he
asked, trying to sound casual.

Heero, though, was become attuned to Duo�s moods, as
he had been in the past. This question held meaning to
the former Deathscythe pilot. �He was my partner.
Aside from Atsuki, he was closest to me� but he didn�t
know me like you did,� he replied. �Darkflight wanted
things to remain forever they way they were- he didn�t
embrace change� and he was safe.�

Duo gave a bit of a frown as he picked up another
slice of his pizza. What could he say about that?
"Aa." he finally murmured. "Things never stay the same
though, no matter how hard you want them to."

"No, they don't." Heero agreed quietly, watching Duo.
It was something he used to do when they were pilots,
as though watching the violet-eyed boy would give him
an insight into just why Duo wanted to be around him
so much. "Darkflight...what is there to say other than
the fact that his world has just come shattering down
around him...and most of it's my fault? I doubt he
will forgive me for that." Heero was a little tense
again, just waiting for Duo to ask about Atsuki. It
was still a very painful subject for him.

�I�ve done my share of world-shattering lately,� Duo
said, setting his food down. On the nearest wall was
an Ansel Adams print, which he stared at vacantly
without really seeing the dramatic contrasts between
black and white. �Ilene died for it.�

�You mentioned her before,� Heero said softly, amazed
that Duo wasn�t asking about Atsuki.

�She was one of my best friends� a real vibrant girl.
Sweet, outgoing, a little bit na�ve, but most of the
kids were sheltered at Cliffside, since it was a real
elite kind of place. Actually, Helena said she was a
lot like me, in some ways.

�Problem was her brother. He died in a Gundam attack-
don�t know which one, but it was in Africa- the
Academy attack. I think that was Wufei? Anyway, I was
never there, but the point is, since he was a soldier,
I very well could have killed him. And she knew it.
She was obsessed with him dying. So obsessed that she
helped infiltrate the base. And she died- right in
front of me� Trowa thought she was going to kill me,
and the bastard shot her. She never stood a chance.�

Well, that answered Heero's question about why Duo had
sounded so bitter when he brought up the other two
pilots. There wasn't anything that Heero could think
to say. Sympathy had never been his forte, and he knew
Duo wouldn't appreciate it, anyway. "In a way...I
think Trowa was worse off than I was. He never knew
any other life than being a soldier. But...you said
you didn't want to talk about the others tonight."
Heero sat back and watched Duo's expression, unsure of
where this conversation was going to go.

�No.� Duo stared down at his pizza before picking it
back up and attacking it again with a vengeance. That
was something he had always been able to do, eat. No
matter how disturbing the subject, he would eat. Loss
of appetite wasn�t something a soldier could afford-
after all; he�d grown up on the streets, not knowing
when or if there would be another meal.

Heero watched him, silent as he finished off another
slice of pizza. He didn't know what to say to Duo
right now, didn't have any bits of wisdom to offer to
soothe the pain the other was in. So he remained
silent, glancing around the diner and taking in
everything going on around them. It was as though he
had pulled back into his shell.

�Let�s get out of here,� Duo suggested. �We can wander
around, see how the repairs are going. Neither of us
has exactly been out and about lately, and walking
would do us some good,� he said. �If you�re really
good, I�ll even hot-wire us a jeep,� he teased.

�That would be getting into trouble,� Heero returned.

�C�mon, live it up!� Duo laughed, reaching into his
wallet for money to pay, since he assumed Heero had
none on him.

Heero just said one word to put a damper on Duo�s
parade, �Hilde.�

"Ah, man..." Duo mock-whined, looking at Heero. "You
didn't take that threat of hers seriously, did you?"

Heero stared at Duo, until the other boy looked away
and sighed.

"I guess you did. Okay, so we'll just walk around and
see what's going on, the repairs and everything."

 



=====
Crazy world - full of crazy contradictions like a child
You're cold and you're cruel
And I, like a fool, try to cope
Try to hang on, to hope
But I've got my pride, I won't give in
Even though I know I'll never win
Oh, how I love this crazy world

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