well . . .it's evocative. It doesn't make
"Sense" but it doesn't really have to.
It reads to me like a slice of life. Rather
like hearing a snatch of muttered conversation
in a dream.
I have NO idea who or what is talking.
But it doesn't matter, I get the sense of what's
going on and it's so short and sparse, the who
and what don't matter. I'm not sure about
the name "Adam". That may be part of the
'Trivia' you mentioned, but as a stand alone
I'd prefer something else. Maybe
"My name is Legion." ? ^_*
I would NOT change anything else, unless you want
to turn it into a 'Real' story, with
narrative an such. And certainly NOT line
numbers et al.
It's a very nice little 'slice of life'
or slice of dream perhaps.
It DOES need a title, but other than that
it's a very nice little read just as it is.
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