"The Cursed Blessing of Life" - By XStylus
Initially submitted to FF.net: 4/21/2002 - v0.5
Updated for FFML 9/16/2002 - v0.9

~~~


"She doesn't have much time left."

The Doctor, standing outside the intensive care wing of Tokyo General
Hospital, had the unsavory task of breaking the news to Soun, Ranma, and
family.

"Is there anything that can be done?" Soun inquired, barely holding back a
raging river ready to burst from his eyes.

"We're making her as comfortable as we can, but I'm going to make the
recommendation that she spend her last few days at home with her family."
The doctor answered. "She's fighting it hard, and I wouldn't put it behind
her to last the week by sheer will alone, but we've done all we can here.
It's best for everyone if she was home."

"Is there anything that can be done, doc?" Ranma pleaded. "I'd give my life
for her!"

"That's very noble of you, but life doesn't work that way. Perhaps only in
magic and fairy tales, I'm sorry to say." The doc gave a grim smile.

Ranma considered the doctor's musing for a moment. "What if..."

"Son," The doctor started, "In situations like these I've seen people try
strange things to save their loved ones, from magic to faith healing to
devil summoning. None of them worked, especially the latter, thankfully. I
hope I don't need to remind you of the difference between magic and reality.
Rather than wasting time looking for some magical miracle, why don't you
spend these last few days with her?"

Ranma grabbed a convenient glass of water nearby and splashed himself,
instantly becoming female.

"What the...?!" The doctor gasped.

"Magic DOES exist, doc. I'm living proof. There IS a way, and I WILL find
it." Ranma vowed. "And I know just who to ask."

Leaving a dumbfounded doctor, Ranma bolted out of the 5th floor waiting room
of the hospital, taking the stairway down, yet hardly bothering to use the
stairs down the five flights to the bottom.

~~~

At the Nekohanten...

"Old Ghoul, where are you?" Ranma shouted as he stormed in. Once inside, he
saw that the restaurant was quite empty, save for Cologne sitting at one of
the booths.

"I was wondering when you'd get here." Cologne started.

"You know why I'm here, right?"

"Yes, and I'll save you the trouble. There's nothing you or I can do." she
replied.

Ranma pulled out a tanto blade. Cologne watched Ranma carefully, but sensed
no threat.

"If Akane dies, I die with her." Ranma spoke.

Cologne shook her head. "I'm sorry to hear that. It was a pleasure to have
known you."

"I'm not fooling around!" Ranma shouted, holding the knife close to his
stomach.

"Neither am I." Cologne muttered as she attacked with her cane, aiming for
an immobilizing pressure point on Ranma's chest. Ranma quickly dodged, then
parried her second attempt. In her other hand he could see a bottle of the
same memory erasing Shampoo that was used on Akane several months back.

"Don't resist me, Ranma. Even you can see that I'd be doing you a favor."
Cologne muttered. "If Akane knew that you were suicidal, she'd probably even
agree."

"You make another move and I'll end it right now!" Ranma warned.

"Using what?" Cologne questioned, grabbing a tanto blade from inside her
robe, the same blade Ranma held moments ago.

"How the...?!" Ranma searched himself for the blade, but could not find it.

"Think clearly, Ranma. If you killed yourself just after Akane died, do you
truly think that'll make her happy?"

"She wouldn't be alone..."

"Assuming there is an afterlife," Cologne started, "She'd probably mallet
you straight to hell for it."

Ranma allowed himself a grunt of a chuckle. "But it won't come to that
because you're going to help me save her."

"It's a shame that a great-grandmother has better hearing than you do."
Cologne mused. "I believe I already told you th-..."

Ranma interrupted her amid sentence. "If she lives, I will be indebted to
whoever saved her. If that should happen to be you..."

"You'd what? Marry Shampoo without question?" Cologne inquired. "Amusing"

Ranma nodded. "I would still want to be with Akane though. I know you can
figure out a way somehow. You have tricks and laws for damn near everything
in that tribe of yours."

"So you expect me to wave a magic wand, chant a few laws, and basically make
everything all better, huh, sonny boy?" Cologne asked. "Keep dreaming. There
is no such law, otherwise I would have done so long ago. Akane Tendo will
die, Ranma. There is nothing you, nor I, nor anyone short of Kami-sama
himself can do about that."

Ranma stared at Cologne for several moment of deathly still silence.

"Then why do you act like you, your laws, and your weird Amazon lore has a
solution for everything, huh?!" Ranma shouted. "3000 years of Amazon
knowledge my ass! When it comes down to it, you're no better than Happosai.
I'll bet he can think of something."

After letting his words sink in, he proceeded to leave.

"Ranma..." Cologne started.

"What now?"

"Follow me."

Ranma gave a victorious smile in the cocky, overconfident manner that only
he could. It took all of Cologne's will to suppress the urge to wipe it off
his face.


Ranma followed her to the rather large downstairs basement, of which inside
could be found a large amount of food supplies, silverware, and other
restaurant necessities one would expect to find. There was, however, one
door that had several locks on them, some rather standard, some looking not
quite so standard.

"I'm going to offer you two choices today, Ranma." Cologne started. "For
either choice, I will demand that you take Shampoo as your wife, but that is
the very least of your worries. Both are things you want more than anything
in your life, but you can only have one."

"What choices would those be?" Ranma inquired, getting annoyed that he had
yet to have a single answer, yet had several questions.

"If you're so stupid that you don't know what they are," Cologne muttered,
"then I don't know why I'm having you marry Shampoo. Think for a moment, for
just once in your life. You came to me for one of them; to save Akane Tendo.
What's the other?"

"Oh. That's easy." Ranma quickly answered. "To get rid of my curse."

"Very good!" Cologne praised with heavy sarcasm. "Now, what if I could give
you one, but you must give up the other? Which would you pick?"

"I'd have to choose between saving Akane, and getting a cure for my curse?"

Cologne nodded.

Ranma closed his eyes in deep thought for a moment.

"Not ever?"

"Not ever." Cologne answered. "You'd still have instant Jusenkyo and
waterproof soap though. Then again, on second thought you'd probably be in a
heap of trouble for it afterward..."

"What are you talking about?"

"You still have no clue, do you?"

Ranma shook his head."

Cologne simply sighed. "What's your answer?"

"Akane, obviously!" Ranma answered with much irritation. "My life would be
hell with the curse, but it'd be even worse without her!"

"The lesser of two evils, huh?" Cologne chuckled.

"I dunno, that mallet of hers is a pretty big evil!" Ranma laughed, but
quickly sobered up. "But I'd let her mallet me all the way to Timbuktu if
it'd give her even one more week."

"Just be careful to not mix your evils, sonny boy."

"What do you mean?" Ranma inquired.

Cologne didn't bother to answer as she began easily breaking off some of the
regular locks on the door to the sealed room, having intentionally lost the
keys to most of them just as a precaution. The more archaic ones were a bit
more delicate and not as easily replaceable, and required a bit more care.
After an impatiently lengthy time getting them off, she pushed the door
open, ushering Ranma inside.

When he stepped in, his jaw hit the ground in amazement as he saw barrels
upon barrels, each labeled in Chinese, but each also containing a label with
a word he would recognize in any language, "Jusenkyo".

"Don't step on anything wet." Cologne warned, pointing to some sort of small
animal in the corner. As Ranma got a better look, he identified it as a
hamster sized creature looking somewhat like a miniature giraffe, but had
scaley skin like a snake. It looked scared out of it's mind, cowering as far
into the corner as it could, wanting nothing more than to be able to fit
into a small mouse hole which its long and cumbersome neck and slightly
longer legs would not allow it to fit through, yet not for lack of trying if
the painfully deep looking cuts on the creature's neck and back were any
indication.

Cologne grabbed a nearby bucket and carefully walked around the puddle to
one particular barrel. Opening it, she lightly dipped the bucket in and
splashed a small amount of water onto the creature, turning it into
something that looked a little bit more like a rat, yet still looked a
little off. Regardless, Ranma could have sworn that he heard a squeak of
elation as the rat disappeared through the hole.

"What the hell was that?!" Ranma asked.

"That is what you get when waters mix. Damn rodents."

"Why the hell do you have so much Jusenkyo water? Why didn't you tell
anyone?!"

"I have my reasons." Cologne answered. "And yes, I have plenty of
Nanniichuan, as I'm sure you guessed. It was a wedding gift for if you
married Shampoo, along with some Nyanniichuan for her, of course. Had you
married anyone else, I have plenty of Maoniichuan for your bride in that
case. A cat is a rather unique and touching gift, wouldn't you say?"

Ranma gave the old hag a very cold glare, seething at the thought that she
would do something so cold, especially with his fear of cats in mind.

Cologne hobbled over to a cardboard box and grabbed a packet from inside it.
Opening the packet, she poured it's contents onto the puddle. Within
moments, the puddle evaporated into powder.

"What's that powder? That's not instant Jusenkyo, is it?"

"Not exactly. It's the raw powder which instant Jusenkyo is made from."
Cologne answered. "It's the safest way to clean up Jusenkyo water spills,
without letting the water totally go to waste. I doubt I'll find a use for
instant Jusenkyo 'Spring of drowned hamster sized giraffe with snake-like
skin' though."

Ranma simply shook his head in amazement. "I thought curses didn't mix."

"Indeed they do." Cologne answered. "You think Taro's spring really was
cursed by a bird riding a yeti holding a snake? That legend was written by a
guide who slacked off on his job and allowed springs to mix, writing the
legend to cover his rear."

Cologne scooped the powder into a small coffee canister, and wrote the name
of the newly created powder on the lid. "It's because of accidents like this
that I keep this room so well sealed. It's far too dangerous were a massive
spill to happen. That, and also to keep young grand-daughters and a certain
incorrigible son-in-laws from getting their wedding gifts before they
fulfill their duties." She snickered, watching Ranma's annoyed reaction with
some amusement.

"What about instant Jusenkyo? How come it doesn't mix with my curse? And how
would I get cured?" Ranma questioned. "And what the hell does all of this
have to do with saving Akane?!"

"All in due time. You need to learn patience, son in law." Cologne hobbled
over to a large cluster of stacked barrels. "There's a barrel deep behind
these others that I need to get to. Help me move some of these and I'll
explain."

Ranma gave Cologne a questioning glance, but did as he was asked, quickly
moving several barrels of various Jusenkyo waters, and still having several
more to go before getting to the barrel nestled securely in a corner, far
behind all the others.

"Nobody really knows why instant Jusenkyo doesn't mix with someone's curse.
Though when mixing the powder with regular Jusenkyo water, the combined
effects are permanent." Cologne explained, supervising where Ranma moved the
barrels to. "My guess is that instant Jusenkyo works a lot like the way
makeup covers freckles. It's still there, just concealed." Cologne
explained, bonking Ranma on the head to keep him working after he discovered
a barrel of Nanniichuan, one of many in her inventory of Jusenkyo waters.

"As for curing your curse, that's still no problem. You'd simply dunk
yourself in Nanniichuuan several times. The first time you'd be a mix of
both curses, which would be quite a sight, to say the least. After a day to
let things settle, you'd take a dunk a second time, reducing the curse to
about 1/4th, then 1/8th, and so on until your old curse's effect would be
unnoticeable. It'd still be there, but it'd be so buried under Nanniichuan
that there would be hardly any change at all. Maybe a few strands of dark
red hair, at best."

"That wouldn't be so bad, I guess." Ranma mused, starting to tire from
moving so many barrels. "Why the heck did you have to get -every- flavor of
Jusenkyo there is!"

"No reason in particular." Cologne answered with an amused chuckle. "Just in
case I decided to have some fun and get creative, I guess."

"Yeah, right." Ranma muttered with an accusatory glare. "And what about
Akane? You said I'd have to choose between saving Akane and curing my
curse."

"Glad to hear that you were paying attention after all." As Ranma moved the
last barrel, Cologne directed Ranma's attention to the label. It was the
only barrel that had a Japanese label. "Akaneniichuan."

"This water I had to keep hidden most of all. I'm sure you can imagine the
confusion if there were more than one Akane around these parts, especially
if that would have been Shampoo or Ukyo. Since it's obvious that you favor
her, I'm quite certain they wouldn't hesitate to take her place in an
instant if the option presented itself."

"Yeah, but you grabbed some anyway, just in case it started to sound like a
good idea, huh?" Ranma accused.

"Guilty as charged." Cologne admitted with a shameless chuckle.

"Hmph." Ranma grunted. "I don't see how this is supposed to help. If I used
it, I'd only look like Akane, and not entirely either! The real Akane would
still be dead!"

"You're already cursed to be a girl. The Akaneniichuan would mix and take
the strongest qualities of your old curse and blend it in with hers."
Cologne explained. "The one thing you need to get through your skull is that
Akane Tendo is going to die, one way or the other. Remove any hope of
changing that fact from your mind right now." She caught a chagrined look
from Ranma. "However, Jusenkyo has the power to bestow not just form, but
personality in some cases. If she dies in its waters, and you bathe yourself
in the waters containing her essence before her soul has had a chance to
pass on, it is possible to bestow it upon you."

Ranma's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates as he contemplated the magnitude
of the solution being presented to him. He was being offered the chance to
be the keeper of Akane's soul, and giving of himself to her in each and
every infinitely possible way.

"Think very, very hard about what I'm offering you, Ranma, for I warn that
you should not take this lightly. Akane can live on, but it would be through
you." Cologne explained. "You would be with her in every possible sense of
the word."

Cologne began to wonder if Ranma had fallen into a trance of deep thought,
as if to make up for all the times he had neglected to think things through
in the past.

"However, know this," Cologne paused to make sure she had Ranma's full
attention. "It would be impossible to touch her, to hold her, or even talk
to her." There was a twinge of foreboding in her voice as she continued.
"Were she to bear a child, it would not be yours without artificial help.
Also, you would not be there to comfort her during her nine months of her
pregnancy, or be by her side during the birth of her child."

A tear began to trickle down Ranma's eye, and he did absolutely nothing to
prevent it.

"You would also have to accept the fact that Akane may desire a husband, a
role which you would never be able to fulfill." Cologne continued, fully
knowing that every word hit home. "She would assuredly want to make love to
her husband, and you would remember the feelings and actions of those
moments as if they were your own, just as she would remember and experience
yours. You would be able to hide nothing from each other. All of her pain
and grief from childhood until now and forevermore would become your pain
and grief and vice versa, yet neither of you could ever be there to comfort
the other through such times."

Ranma shuddered as he considered whether Akane could withstand his own soul
shearing experience of the nekoken, or whether he would withstand Akane's
pain of losing her own mother at such a tender age, or the terror of being
only hours away from death.

"I don't envy what you would feel, knowing that you were so close to her,
yet forever denied to actually be 'with' her." Cologne spoke. "But most
importantly of all, you may never, EVER use any permanent form of Jusenkyo
cure. To do so would be worse than killing her, for no matter how much
Jusenkyo water you used, her soul would still be locked within you,
imprisoned in the recesses of your own subconscious and unable to pass on
until your own death. Were you to do such a thing, I would kill you myself
out of mercy for her."

Another tear fell to the ground. "What about the spring of drowned twins?"
Ranma inquired.

"The moment cold water hits you, there would be two Akanes. When either of
them get doused with warm water, there would be one Ranma." Cologne
explained. "Ranma, I want you to answer me honestly. Is this truly the price
you are willing to pay to save your love?"

Tears flowed steadily and freely down Ranma's cheek, tears of which he
steadfastly denied himself the moment he heard of Akane's illness, denied as
he saw Akane laying weak and pale in a dreary hospital bed, and denied when
the doctor proclaimed her condition to be terminal. His cup runneth over,
and by no means would he be denied their cleansing pain now as he sank to
his knees and wept.

"It is far more merciful to each of you to just let go, Ranma." Cologne
explained. "This is a task I do not wish to do, for both of your sakes."

Ranma nodded in agreement as Cologne handed him a cloth to wipe his tears.

"I think you've been holding those back for far too long." Cologne spoke,
trying to be of some comfort. "Let's go back upstairs and we can talk."

Finding the strength to stand, Ranma let himself be guided out of the room.
Cologne shut the door, and placed one of the simpler locks on the door with
the intent to seal the door properly later.

"Perhaps it's time I sealed this room permanently." Cologne muttered.

Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder. Cologne responded with a questioning
glance.

"Akane will be returning home tonight. Let me know when you're ready, and
we'll be waiting."

"Why?!" Cologne gasped.

"I almost decided not to, until you mentioned one thing in particular."
Ranma explained. "Just as my pain and grief would be hers, her love and joy,
even though it would be in the arms of another, would be shared with me as
well. If she did find someone else, it would be impossible for me not to be
happy for her. In the end, that's all I really want. That is why I must do
this. It's as much for me as it is for her."

"What about you?" Cologne asked. "I'll only do this if you hold up your
promise to marry Shampoo, and I don't think Akane will agree to that."

Ranma paused in thought for a moment.

"I hope you put that lock on properly in the basement." Ranma mused in a
rather fake tone. "I'd hate it if Shampoo accidentally mistook Nanniichuan
for Nyanniichuan."

Cologne gave Ranma a confused glance.

"If Shampoo looks even half as good as a guy as she does as a girl, I bet
not even Akane would be able to resist."

Cologne's eyes widened with realization, followed by a surprised laugh,
although rather short lived.

"Akane would be wise to that. She'd know what you know." Cologne retorted.
"Plus, there's too much bad blood between them."

"Is there?" Ranma smiled as he juggled a bottle of Cologne's memory erasing
shampoo that he managed to sneak from her.

Cologne shook her head. "I see you've taken a liking to this concept called
'thinking'."

Ranma nodded and gave a slight smile. "It has it's merits."

~~~


Thank you for reading.

I have never seen any stories that take the concept of 'Akaneniichuan' and
place Ranma in the position of having the curse, soul and all. This story
basically sets the scenario. Now the task is to write the story of how the
life of Ranma/Akane plays out. Unfortunately,
there is a very real possibility that I may never get around to doing that,
so I tried to do this chapter with some degree of finality to it. If I do
another chapter, great. If not, I invite others to continue where I've
started.

Once again, thank you.


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