On Mon, 09 Sep 2002 15:23:57 -0400 "L.S McGill" <lsmcgill@hotmail.com> wrote:
She had set her small camp by a freshwater spring on the cliffs overlooking
the valley and explored the area, but had found nothing to explain the
training ground's evil reputation. The cliffs her grandfather had trained
her on were far more deadly than the bamboo poles, and they had nothing as
soft as water to land in after a fall. Starting her practice on the morning
of her second day, she had found the quiet valley a perfect place to reflect
on {the quest she had embarked on : her quest}. She had found the solitude and the daily
rituals calming as she contemplated what awaited her on her return to her
home village.
Finishing yet another form, she vainly tried to think of a way out. The
thought of returning home a failure burned deeply, but there was nowhere in
China she had not searched. As much as she hated it, the only honorable
thing left was to return to her village and accept her fate. She sighed
heavily. If only she had been male. Maybe her aunt wouldn't have resented
her so much, maybe Cherry Blossom...
Good. Giving a hint of her problem without stating it clearly. It allows
you to be more thorough later without interrupting the story now. It also
gives us a chance to speculate.
She could already feel her aunt's eyes on her, gloating. She'd not been
pleased that Zhu Shu had begged her grandfather {that she : to} be allowed to
search for a husband instead of accepting her aunt's arrangements. Sung Li
might have the purest bloodline in the village, but Zhu Shu had no wish to
marry the pervert. Yet, sadly, he had proved to be no worse than most of
the boys she had found, and better than some. Better the Oni you know.
Curious as to who else would travel to such an out of the way training
ground, and eager to escape her thoughts, Zhu Shu moved towards the sound.
Dancing from pole to pole, she crossed the small valley. As she drew near,
she heard a Chinese voice speaking in Japanese little better than her own.
Now I'm wondering why she would have learned Japanese at all. Everything
she knows about that is of interest to her is in China. It apparently
didn't even occur to her to look outside China for husband material.
She barely heard the guide warn, "Is very bad you fall in {pool : spring}!" as she
hopped to another pole for a better vantage.
Zhu Shu fled the hut {: just : only} long enough to retrieve a new dress from her campsite
{before returning :}, but found the pig boy had departed while she was gone.
The panda had obviously availed himself of the hot water as well, since the
older man had replaced him. She noted he gave her an appraising look before
bowing, like he was checking her for visible weapons.
Honor demanded she produce an heir, whatever her desires. Ranma possibly
offered a chance to satisfy both ... yet she could not commit to a marriage
that {may : might} not be suitable. Ranma could prove to be a worse letch than even
Sung Li, and she'd be in a just as intolerable {: a} situation. But there was a
chance....
"Zhu Shu travel with. See what kind of husband Ranma make. If like, will
betroth. If not..." In a lightning fast move, she pulled her swords from
behind her back and caught the surprised man against a tree, her crossed
blades just touching Genma's {Adams : Adam's} apple. "Zhu Shu takes payment out of
panda man's {backside : hide}!!!" She grinned at Genma's uneasy swallow.
"Every MONTH!?!?" Ranma whimpered, his eyes huge.
Zhu Shu nodded "Every month."
Do you think telling him it's actually about 29 days will make him feel
better? :}b
Zhu Shu nodded. "Ranma is new to friendship, and his father controls his
actions too often. Ranma Saotome has much in him of Honor, yet it is often
overshadowed by his father's questionable actions. Genma sought to betroth
Ranma to me secretly to repay his debt to me for causing my curse. I
arranged instead to travel with them to observe Ranma's worth as a husband
{instead :}."
Zhu Shu's ribbons flashed around her in a globe and pebbles flew in all
directions. Her descent slowed until she almost seemed to be floating as
she dropped down lightly on a pole top in the middle of the training ground.
{ :}Shan Pu waited, catching her breath as Zhu Shu closed her eyes. Warily,
the Amazon prepared to defend.
Zhu Shu�s raised eyebrow let Ke Lun know she thought Shan Pu was being _far_
too optimistic. She chuckled as she handed Zhu Shu a pack. "Here you are,
great-grand{- :}daughter. Some dresses for your travels. I noticed yours were
a trifle worn."
Ke Lun stood and watched as the questing girls vanished into the trees on
the Saotome�s trail before turning and going back to the {elders : elders'} hall.
Authors Notes: I tried to tighten this up and speed up the intro. Most
changes over last version are minor expansions to clarify certain parts of
the story. Hope if flows better.
Apparently Zhu Shu saw a reason to not want Ranma as her husband. You
don't need to be explicit about it yet, but I will be watching for more
about that later.