Hi, just thought I'd comment on a few of your comments on the comments
of...well, you get the idea. I don't normally read anything Ranma past
chapter one or so, as for the most part I find the canon Ranma characters
rather flat and uninteresting (please, no flames on how I'm an idiot and
R1/2 is the greatest thing since fire or the wheel...). Still, I do enjoy
good character reinterpretations, and your writing style is an
interesting one.
On 11 Sep 2002 at 12:47, allyn yonge wrote:
@@He's not? ^_~
I'm wondering if this is something I need to work on? Or if
it all come clear as the story progresses. If the 'uberness'
seems to progress beyond, say chapter 6?, I'm going to have
to do some revisions.
@@@@@
I didn't particularly get the impression of a supremely powerful Ranma,
though I can see how someone might. In canon (manga canon, haven't seen
the anime past the first few episodes), Ranma's weakness is that he's
focused himself on martial arts to the exclusion of virtually everything
else, like tact, subtlety, schoolwork, etc.
Here, what it appears you've done is left him with his superiority in
martial arts but also made him skilled in several of the things he isn't
in canon; the aforementioned tact and subtlety spring to mind. However--
and this is solely my opinion based on these two chapters-- I also got
the impression that Akane, and, I presume, the others are better than
their canon counterparts in a similar manner. Certainly the way Akane is
presented implies that she is a significantly more dangerous martial
artist than in canon. If this turns out not to be the case, then yes, I
would say that you might have a problem with super-Ranma, but based on
the way you've been handling it so far it seems fine to me.
@@BTW, there seems to be some concern that
I'm changing POV to fast and often.
I was _trying_ for Third Person Flexible.
BUT, if it's confusing, it doesn't matter what
I was trying to do. Any comments on POV?
Did I jar the reader out of the story?
Was it confusing?
I thought it got somewhat confusing in places (the tail end of the dinner
conversation comes to mind, where you actually switch POVs in the middle
of a paragraph at least once), but if used carefully I don't see a
problem with it. While less common than standard third person limited,
it is a legitimate style, and I have read and enjoyed professional
fiction that employed it. In the end, as with many things in writing
(well, fiction writing-- academic writing is an entirely different
thing), it's not the technique itself so much as how you use it. That
said, I think you need to be especially careful not to disorient your
readers with POV shifts that are too rapid or not telegraphed clearly.
Good luck with the writing, or revision if you've already finished the
writing!