Just a quick comment.
As a big fan of AMS! I just wanted to comment on a few issues I see in this
fic.
All too frequently in fanfics (especially in cross overs), I find that an
author uses one of the goddesses solely to act as a sort of
Wish-Vending-Machine if you will, and that is honestly what I see going on
here when Bell picks up Shampoo and brings her home and then suddenly (for
no apparent reason) grants her a wish.
Forgive me for saying this, but I found this use of the character in this
way, mildly insulting to a her. Bell is a deep character if you give her the
chance to be, and saddly I don't see that happening here.
The other glaring issue, besides having her just pop in to provide Shampoo
with a wish that I see is; Why did she give her a wish to begin with?
Goddesses from the Goddess relief office grant wishes to truly deserving
mortals... and frankly I don't lump Shampoo into that category even
slightly.
Just compare her to Keiichi and you'll see what I mean... Keiichi is a
person of pure and unwavering love, while at the same time placing the needs
of others above himself and basically being a fine example of the finer
aspects of humanity... while Shampoo is not. (I won't go into the character
faults of Shampoo here.. this is not an attempt to bash and I won't make it
one, and I think it need not be said that Ranma 1/2 charactrs have
exagerated character failts to provide a comedic element)
If anything is more likely... Mara would have been the one to hunt out
Shampoo, and provid her a demon backed wish, or perhaps Urd... Urd is the
cupid of love (in her own mind at least) and Bell doesn't get involved in
manipulating people like Shampoo's wish would call for, while Urd or Mara
might.
Mara:So... we gonna do this wish thing or not, kid?
Shampoo:You is demon, yes?
Mara:You betcha... now, make your wish... come on.. come on, I ain't got all
day, ya kjnow. Iron Chef comes on in an hour.
Shampoo:You no rush Shamp-.. did you say 'Iron Chef?'.. Ooo Shampoo big fan,
wishes she could be on show, show big faker; Chen Kenichi, what REAL Chinese
food like.
Mara: Arrrrgh.. you ditz..
***
Akane: Ranma!.. l-look... on the TV!
Ranma: Akane, whatcha botherin' me for n- Holy Shi-!
Kasumi: Ranma!...kanguage!... Now, what's all the bother about? Oh my,
Ranma, isn't that your little friend Shampoo on TV?
***
Chairman Kaga: Kyoo no tema wa kore desu...Kurumaaaa Eeeeeebi!
(japanese used only because Kaga is an exception to the rule.. even on the
show they leave his japanese intact even when they dub for everyone else)
Shampoo:Shampoo is so happy! I make you too too delicious dishes today.
Fukui Kenji:Wow! this is like handing Iron Chef Chen a slam dunk win right
off. The szchewan sage being given his favorite ingredient today, Prawns.
What do you think Doc?
Hattori Yukio: Oh, I have to agree there. In fact I'm sure we'll see his
father's trademark prawns in chili sauce today. Yes, Iron Chef Chen seem's
very pleased with the announcement of today's theme ingredient. and you
heard her.. she only plans on makign two dishes today... not terribly
ambitious I'd say.
Fukui Kenji:Right you are, doc. Well, still, the announcement of the choice
of theme ingredient doesn't seem to be bothering the challenger any, though
I must say, she's got an uphill battle ahead of her today. And there's the
gong.. and .. my god! Did you see her move? She's taken half the prawns off
the podium already and .... good heaven's.. she's already plated 5
courses... and... and... and, doc, aren't those are just the appetizers?
Time warning voice: 30 seconds have elapsed
Hattori Yukio:...
Fukui Kenji:Ya know doc. somehow I think this may be a very long battle for
Iron Chef Chen today, doc
Anyway... enough silliness there..
Maybe some would say I'm being too picky about how the AMS! characters are
being used in your fic.. but I would disagree.
For the same reason that you follow certain rules of character conduct in
Ranma 1/2 fics, or in Sailor Moon fics... so too you should know and
understand the AMS! charactrers and behaviors before you use them in a
crossover.
just my two cents.
steve
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'