This is a compilation of chapters one through five,
and the two side stories. C&C is welcome.
=====
-Tannim Murphy
(No, not THE Tannim, the OTHER Tannim)
"Writers who take more time trying to spell than write are editors." -Unknown
My Fics: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=126066
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: ChapOne.txt
-- Desc: ChapOne.txt
To the End of the Moon! (And Over the Edge)
By: Tannim Murphy and Taiteki Kagato
E-mail us at: tannim_murphy@yahoo.com OR taitekikagato@aol.com
Disclaimer: We do not own Sailor Moon. We do not own Ranma 1/2. We
do not own anything else we happen to mention. We also are not making
any money off of this, and are doing it for fun. Please, we beg you,
do not sue us.
Kagato: This is it. The second biggest fanfiction undertaking I've
ever really gotten off the ground. Scary, eh? And once you read it,
it'll be even scarier. So.. I hope you all enjoy this fic I so
randomly titled "To the End of the Moon!(And Over the Edge)"
Tannim: Geez. Get bored one night and start writing, and look what
happens! The story starts to write on its own. Hopefully you people
are having as much fun reading this as we have had writing it. Well,
here's the first compilation, also known as Chapter One. If you were
reluctant to read our bite-sized versions, here's a longer read for
you. Enjoy!
Chapter One
---
Usagi Tsukino was not happy.
"Mom, dad... Why?!"
Both parents turned to look at each other, before looking back at
their daughter.
"Well, dear..." her mother began.
"WAAAH!!" Usagi interrupted.
"Usagi!" her mother admonished.
"Sorry mom," said Usagi quickly.
"Anyway... As I was saying. You are going to be living with your
second cousin Akane, your father's adopted sister's step-mother's
deceased aunt's daughter."
The blonde-haired girl briefly tried to follow her mother's words, but
gave up the task as being too confusing.
"But all my friends are heeeeerrrrreeee..." whined Usagi. "Why can't
I stay with one of them?"
Her mother shook her head as Usagi's father continued moving boxes.
"Because in Nerima, you'll be far, far away from that womanizing
jigalo man-slut Mamoru Chiba!" her father said, icily.
"But DAAAD... it's FATE! My Mamo-chan and I are DESTINED to get
together!" said Usagi, stars in her eyes. Suddenly the stars and the
lights (what few of them there were) went off in Usagi's head as she
collapsed in a heap in the ground.
"Sorry," her mother said, a mallet still in hand after dealing the
blow. "I know it's wrong to hit your own daughter... but... that was
really annoying. Destiny. What rubbish. The girl should learn to
grow up."
Usagi's father then chucked his heavy (but light-looking) daughter
into a box, stuck on the postage, and shoved it out the door.
"That should be it!"
The mailman carried all the boxes away, in fourth-class style.
Usagi's father grinned at Usagi's mother. "Now we can finally go on
that cruise!"
---
That evening, at the Tendo Dojo...
A knock sounded on the door.
Kasumi looked up from the dishes she was cleaning. Now what could
that be? Taking off her apron with practiced ease, she made her way
to the front door. As she opened it, she was greeted to the sight of
a slightly annoyed mailman with several large boxes sitting in her
front yard. One of the larger boxes proclaimed 'pu dne eligarf' and
had an arrow pointing toward the ground.
"Yes, how may I help you?" she asked, confident that she'd find out
the situation soon enough.
"Is this the Tendo Dojo?" the man asked, as if he couldn't see the
sign proclaiming to all that this was, indeed, the Tendo Dojo.
Kasumi took it in stride. "Yes, it is."
"I need your personal stamp here please."
"Alright..." Kasumi's voice trailed off into uncertainty. "Please,
wait one moment."
Suddenly voice cried out, "Moon Cosmic power-"
The box closest to Kasumi began go glow. Bizarre, flashy music began
to play, and the box started to vibrate... until a barbell the size of
a truck axle flew out an upstairs window and landed on it with a
CLANG.
"QUIET OUT THERE!" Kasumi heard Akane shout. More quietly, Kasumi
heard "...get enough noise with the baka pervert as it is. Ow, my
headache..."
"Owie..." someone whimpered from inside the box.
"Oh dear."
A moment later the box spilled open to reveal a disheveled young girl
with a rather large bump on her head. She was unconscious, a fact
Kasumi was sure the girl would have been glad for, judging by how
painful the bump looked to be.
After getting her stamp and pressing it against the paper, the mailman
left with a nod.
"What am I going to do with you?" Kasumi asked herself, before picking
up the girl and carrying her inside the house.
Kasumi decided to put the sleeping girl in her own bed, after thinking
about it for a moment. There were no other rooms open, and the dojo
was too cold at night to sleep comfortably. Kasumi carried the girl,
being careful so as to not hit the bump on any walls or door frames,
and gently set the blonde-haired girl on her bed. Pulling up the
covers Kasumi lovingly tucked her in.
Her task completed, the eldest daughter went downstairs, curled up on
the couch, and went to sleep.
---
The next morning....
"AUGHHH!!"
A shout woke the Tendo household. Since it originated in Kasumi's
room, everyone in the household rushed to see what the matter was.
There was a stranger in Kasumi's bed.
"Kasumi!" Soun cried, "You've gone and changed your hair... and...
grew younger... Oh, the humanity! My baby girl has found the
fountain of youth and didn't tell her poor father!"
The strange girl stared at Soun for a moment with wide eyes, and then
looked at everyone else in confusion. Slowly, as if trying to find
the words, the girl asked, "Kasumi? Is that my name?"
A stunned silence filled the room.
Ranma was the first to be able to speak.
"I dunno, is it?"
A quick fist to the face was all he got for his troubles.
"Ranma, you idiot," muttered Akane, fist still embedded in Ranma's
face.
The girl on the bed just watched, and scratched her head in worry.
Who were these people? Where was she? And Why did she feel like that
'Ranma' character was better than... something?
"Kasumi! Tell your father, what DO you remember?" cried Soun.
A voice came not from the girl on the bed, but from behind the aging
martial artist. "I put the poor girl in my bed, and then went to
sleep on the couch, father."
Soun froze. Then, he turned to look behind him where Kasumi, the REAL
Kasumi stood. "KASUMI! You're old again! Your poor father was so
worried!" cried Soun happily, clutching his daughter in a tight hug.
A moment later he whirled around to face the imposter.
"WHO ARE YOU, TRYING TO CONFUSE AND HURT THIS HOUSEHOLD?!" Soun
bellowed, Demon Head style.
A piercing scream suddenly split the air. Not only did it immediately
affect everyone in the room, it caused a chain reaction that ended up
with every dog in Tokyo howling at once. For months later, people
would talk about the Day of All That Damned Noise.
The sonic attack was too much for the Demon Head, and Soun quickly
stopped so as to clutch his ears along with everyone else.
"..."
Everyone was silent.
Finally, Kasumi spoke up.
"Oh my."
Unfortunately, with their blown eardrums, nobody could really hear it.
Just a slight buzzing.
---
Hours later, when everyone's hearing returned...
"Waaaaaaah!"
...they wished it hadn't.
"I don't know! I just woke up and-"
For they had to listen to this strange girl whine.
"-then this old guy came in-"
It was not a pleasant sound.
"-and then there was this scary monster and-"
In fact, Ranma was just about ready to do something about the sound
when fate intervened.
"RANMA! PREPARE TO DIE!"
The door to the next room over was heard opening. Moments later, a
confused "huh? Where'd he go?" could be heard.
Everyone in the room sweatdropped, except for the strange girl who was
wondering why nobody was listening to her story anymore, and Kasumi,
who was mentally trying to figure just 'how' much food she needed to
prepare this morning.
Finally, a few minutes of heavy stomping later, Ryouga burst into the
correct room by process of elimination.
"Ahah! I found you Ranma! Because of you, I've seen hell!"
Ranma stared at Ryouga with an exasperated look. Sarcastically, he
asked, "How did you see hell this time? Plane? By bus? Guided
tour?"
"Grr... how DARE you mock me." replied Ryouga while watching Ranma get
in a loose fighting stance.
"Umm... excuse me?" asked the strange girl.
Ranma glanced back at the girl, then toward Ryouga. "Aw, c'mon, man.
I don't have time for this right now. We've got some crazy chick
here-"
"I am not crazy!" interjected said chick.
"-who is whinier than Akane-"
Twin voices of "I do NOT whine!" were heard as Akane and the girl
spoke in unison.
"-and can't even remember her name," finished Ranma.
"That's what I've been TRY-ING, to TELL you! I think I remember my
name!"
Everyone froze at this pronouncement. Even Ryouga, who had just
wandered in on the scene, was curious as to the identity of this new
girl.
"Go on," urged Soun. "Tell us."
"It's... Bunny!" the girl, now Bunny, chirped happily.
"Did she just chirp?" asked Nabiki incredulously.
Ryouga just looked at the girl, then shrugged. "RANMA! PREPA-" he
began, charging toward his foe, but was cut off by Ranma kicking him
out the window.
Through the broken glass, they heard a splash, then a squealing that
slowly vanished over the horizon.
Nabiki, Soun, Genma, Kasumi, and EXPECIALLY Ranma, stared at Akane.
"What...? Hey! Wait a minute..." said Akane, anger flashing in her
eyes.
Everyone held their breath...
"Ranma, you jerk! Why did you break a perfectly good window? Do you
know how much those cost?!"
...and let it out again.
"What was that about?" asked Bunny, too confused to really start
worrying about important things, like where the food was. Luckily,
someone else remembered for her.
"Why don't we all go down and have a nice breakfast? That's sure to
clear things up!" proclaimed Genma, who knew exactly where his
priorities lay.
---
A couple minutes later, everyone was sitting down to eat...
"So... you're Bunny, and that's all you can remember?" asked Akane
suspiciously.
Bunny's forehead scrunched up as she tried to concentrate.
"No... I remember..."
Everyone leaned forward in their seats.
"Um... Ah..."
"Yes? What is it?" asked Soun excitedly.
"Ranma!" exclaimed Bunny as she turned toward the pig-tailed martial
artist.
"STUPID PERVERT! IT IS ANOTHER FIANCE!" shouted Akane, jumping to the
most likely conclusion and determined to get in a pre-emptive strike.
She smashed Ranma into the floor with a handy table.
"I was just going to ask him to pass the rice..." said Bunny, tearing
up. "But... you... you killed him! WAAAAAAAAH! And my food is
spilled all over the place!"
Everyone else had predicted the outburst, and acted accordingly.
"Here, Bunny, you can have some of mine," offered Kasumi.
Bunny accepted the food cheerfully. "Thanks!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes at the quick mood change, before digging back
into her own food.
---
A few days earlier....
"Hey, Ami!" called out Rei as the most studious of the Sailor Senshi
walked up the steps to the shrine. It was typical for Amy to come
early.
Ami smiled at the raven-haired girl as she waved back. "It's good to
see you, Rei."
The shrine maiden nodded toward the temple. "Go on in, I've got this
last bit of sweeping to do, then I'll change into something a little
more comfortable."
During the summer, since there wasn't school to hold them together,
most of the Senshi drifted off in their separate ways; occasionally
they banded together to go shopping or some such, but generally each
either spent time with their families or did something they wanted to
do by themselves.
It was agreed, however, that they would meet together once a week,
unless they were on vacation with their families.
Today was that day.
---
Rei finished changing as she entered the room to find that Minako and
Makoto had arrived while she had been busy. Looking around, it was
obvious Usagi had not arrived yet; her manga collection was still
sitting neatly in one corner, the snack trays that she had prepared
were still full, and the pillows weren't strewn about in a half-hazard
fashion.
The shrine maiden checked the time; ten minutes after the meeting was
supposed to have started. It was Usagi's usual time to show up. Why
wasn't she here?
"Why isn't she here?" wondered Rei aloud.
Ami looked up from the book she was reading, deduced what the question
was about, and shrugged her shoulders. "You know Usagi. She must
have been later than usual."
---
Now Rei was worried. It was an hour after the meet was supposed to
start. Even Usagi wasn't this late! Well, usually. Still, it would
be better to check up on her...
Stomping over to the phone, she angrily picked up the receiver and
dialed Usagi's home number.
"I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed has been disconnected.
Please check your number, and dial again."
The fiery Senshi looked at the receiver in shock. Quickly, she
brought out her communicator and paged Usagi with it. Luna's face
showed up on the screen.
"-is where this blasted thing has been hiding!" the cat complained.
"Luna?" asked Rei in confusion. "Where is Usagi?"
"She's gone!"
"Where to?"
"I don't know! One day I just wake up and find the entire house
empty. Do you know how hard it is to open the refrigerator?"
"Are you sure you don't know where they got to?" interrupted Rei.
Luna hesitated. "Well, I overheard them whispering about some sort of
ship, and how they have been saving up their money for this, and
getting rid of Usagi..." Luna's eyes widened. "Do you think they've
gone over to the Dark Kingdom?"
Rei smacked herself on the forehead at Luna's remark. Sometimes the
moon cat could be so dense. "Perhaps they've just gone on a cruise?"
asked Rei rhetorically.
"Oh." Luna blinked. "I hadn't considered that."
"I'll go tell the others." Rei shut off the communicator. She raised
her voice as she said, "Hey, guys! We've got a problem here."
---
Ami was the first to speak after given the news. "I might be able to
find her with the Mercury Computer..." Thinking for a moment, she
then muttered under her breath, "I knew I should have surgically
implanted that tracking device."
"That's great, Ami-chan!" beamed Makoto with all the pride of a mother
seeing her daughter score the winning goal in the championship soccer
match.
"A false door shall lead you to a great tasting food," nodded Minako
sagaciously.
Rei absently nodded in agreement. She was busy wondering where the
heck that sexy little- er, Usagi went.
By silent agreement, none of the Sailor Senshi decided to tell Mamoru
Chiba that Usagi was missing.
---
Now back to your regularly scheduled fanfic....
Setsuna stood at the Gates of Time, watching as her Princess and
fellow Senshi battled menace after menace. Suddenly, her Princess was
ambushed. By her own parents! And sent to... "Nerima." Setsuna
frowned. The Chaotic energy there was so thick the Magical Time gates
actually displayed it as a purple whirlwind that affected everything
it touched. And at the heart of this whirlwind, unknowingly stirring
it, feeding it, and nurturing it, was one Ranma Saotome.
Setsuna thought for a minute about what she knew of the magical energy
that filled Ranma's life. Due to its Chaotic nature, it had little
effect on Nerima at some times, and caused huge amounts of property
damage at others. Because Ranma and most of the other people in Nerima
were martial-artists, and not magic-users, there wasn't much in the
way of magic to feed the cyclone. However, when magic did present
itself, unless it was very well crafted (like the Jusenkyo curses), it
would often go awry almost immediately, always yielding unexpected
results.
With Usagi there, now, however, things would change. Usagi's magical
nature would begin to feed the Chaotic storm, and pretty soon, Nerima
would see things even their hardened spirits would have thought
possible. And people would start to wonder why.
Setsuna considered how to retrieve Usagi carefully. She risked fueling
the cyclone just by teleporting there, but if she had to ride a train,
or drive, Usagi would probably fuel it just as much in the time it
took to get there. With a sigh, she stood, and went to the Time Gate,
calling her staff from its sub-space dimensional pocket, and traveling
to Nerima.
Suddenly, mid-teleportation, something happened. The tornado had
already fed off of Usagi from the little time she'd had there, and
Setsuna's entrance, and the Temporal Magic flare-up attracted the
empowered Chaos like a moth to a candle flame.
Setsuna wasn't sure what happened, but suddenly she was back at the
Time Gate.
She looked herself over to see if anything was wrong, and, finding
nothing, she sighed. That's when it happened. As she sighed, a small,
flat cloud, shaped like a mushroom flew out of her mouth, and faded a
moment later. She then felt her right eye twitch, and she took a deep
breath to calm herself.
"Something very odd has happened." She muttered, turning to the Time
Gate to see if she could scry what was wrong. Instead, she saw..
nothing. The Gate showed blackness... though the surface rippled, as
it always had. Setsuna blinked... and then jumped.
She'd jumped because, as she had blinked, there had been an almost-
cute <Poit> noise to go along with it. Here eyelid twitched again. She
quickly did what she could to calm herself, and then turned back to
the Gate. Blink <Poit>. She scowled, and summoned her staff. It came,
and, after looking it over, she decided it was unharmed.
With another sigh (and another cloud, which made her blink, inducing
the <Poit> which started an eye-twitch) she decided to try to
teleport. This time, she decided to try for her apartment.
A few moments later, she appeared in her bedroom, and she sighed with
relief. Of course, the cloud appeared. Seeing this out of the corner
of her eye, Setsuna then moved towards the mirror. Reaching it, she
looked herself over, and fortunately, found nothing wrong visibly. So,
she decided to see what was going on. She sighed. The cloud appeared.
In reaction, she instinctively blinked. The <Poit> sounded. Her eye
twitched in annoyance, and she felt vaguely uneasy... and that's when
she saw it. A HUGE drop of 'I hope that's not sweat, I'll dehydrate
myself in a matter of minutes' dripped down the side of her head,
before fading away. Setsuna Face faulted.
"Owwwwww" She said aloud. Nobody responded. She climbed to her feet,
and checked the mirror again, knowing she'd find a bruise forming over
half her face. Nothing. She sweatdropped again. She blinked <Poit> in
response. Hearing the noise made her eyelid twitch. Finally, she
sighed in resignation.. once again forming a cloud.
With that done, she spun on her heels, and Teleported to Rei's Temple
to give the girls the bad news.
---
The phone rang at the Tendo Dojo
Kasumi got up and answered it. After a moment, she turned to Soun.
"Father? It's for you." Soun stood up, and walked over to the phone.
A few moments later, he hung up, and turned to the table.
"Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane..." began Soun, "Your cousin Usagi is going to
stay with us for a while. Her parents said she should be arriving any
day now." Soun looked over at Bunny. "Now, girl, we'd be happy give
you a place to live until your memory come back, but we're running out
of room, what with Usagi coming to stay with us."
Bunny began to tear up, even going so far as to forget the food in
front of her, at the prospect of not knowing where to go, or who she
really was.
"Oh my," said Kasumi. "Father, Bunny-chan can sleep in my room. I
don't mind."
Ranma shuddered a bit where he lay. This family sure was interesting.
Another girl coming to live here? That couldn't be good.
Genma kicked Ranma while the he was still down. "Boy! Don't be so
lazy!" The old man finished off the last of Ranma's food. "You've
got training to do!"
Ranma looked up from his position on the floor. "Why don't I hit YOU
with a table, and see how you feel?!" asked Ranma in exasperation.
The martial artist paused at the thought. "Hey, that might not be
such a bad idea!" he exclaimed.
Genma blinked as Ranma rose up from the floor, table in hand. "Now
now, boy, don't be too hasty..." he said nervously.
"C'mon, pop," said Ranma with a nasty gleam in his eye. "You wanted
me to train? Fine, I'll train!"
*WHAM!*
The table hit Genma, and Genma went flying. Right into the koi pond.
[Boy! Look what you've done!] the most recently held-aloft sign said.
*knock knock*
"Oh! Someone's at the door."
Kasumi went to the door, but when she opened it, Soun rushed past her
and grabbed the person standing there in a bear hug. "Usagi! It's me,
Uncle Soun! Oh, how nice it is to see you again!"
"Unhand me, knave! If thou thinkest me this 'Usagi,' then thou
thinkest wrongfully indeed."
"'Thinkest?' is that even a word?" wondered Nabiki as Ranma set the
battered table back down in place.
Soun let Kuno go, and dusted himself off. Kuno continued ranting: "Be
you any other knave, I'd smite thee, however, as thou art the father
of the wondrous Akane Tendo, I shall swallow my pride and settle for
less than that which this situation verily calls for." He tapped Soun
on the head with his bokken, very lightly. "You've been punished for
attacking Kuno. Be grateful you've been spared your life. Now...
Akane Tendo, I'm here to free you from that foul sorcerer Saotome once
and for all! Then you will be free... free to leap into my arms and
smother me with-"
The table, this time thrown like a Frisbee, hit Kuno square in the
face and sent him back out the door. Be it Ranma's skill, simple
luck, or an unspoken law of the universe, Kasumi, who had been
standing almost perfectly between Kuno and Ranma, wasn't touched. "Oh
my," she said, blinking and still trying to figure out the physics of
it. Was it possible for the table to curve like that?
---
Rei was worried. Usagi hadn't shown up at the shrine during the usual
meeting time, and calling her via the emergency line only found an
exasperated Luna. She eventually got from Luna that Usagi's parents
had gone on vacation suddenly, and shipped Usagi off to live somewhere
else without any warning. They even forgot about Luna when they left,
so eager were they to be on their way.
Typically of Usagi, she forgot to take her communicator.
So it was with a heavy heart that she was sweeping the shrine clean of
dirt that would just come back the next day anyway.
"Hello, Sailor Mars," spoke a voice from behind the raven-haired girl.
Rei nearly dropped the broom in shock as she turned around in
surprise.
Sailor Pluto stood there, grinning at the startled shrine maiden.
"Don't DO that!" Rei hissed.
"Do what?" asked Setsuna, her face completely devoid of guile.
"Sneak up on me!"
"I didn't sneak up on you."
"But..."
"Yes?"
"Grr... never mind. What do you want?" asked Rei, clutching the broom
even tighter in an attempt to calm her nerves.
"Usagi," was Setsuna's one-word reply. Rei blinked, and stared at
Setsuna, waiting for her to continue.
Setsuna stared at Rei.
Rei stared at Setsuna.
A breeze drifted through the temple, caught Sailor Pluto's skirt, and
lifted it as high as it could go.
<poit> Pluto blinked. Then she sweatdropped.
"..." Rei stared, watching Setsuna do something so bizarre... before
doubling over in laughter. After a few moments Rei was able to
control her laughter to a controllable level, so that she could speak
again.
"Ha, ha! That's great, Setsuna! Just like something out on my manga!
But..." Rei's laughter slowed down to a trickle, "why are 'you' doing
it? Ah-ha-ha... That's something Usagi or Minako would try to do.
Heh. And how did you do that, anyway?" The sheer craziness of the
situation finally caught up to Rei, and she stopped laughing all
together.
An eyebrow had been twitching vigorously on Setsuna's face. A small
vein began to pulse as the anger at the entire situation began to
catch up to the Senshi of Time. Now Rei was laughing at her? This
was the last straw.
Time to teach 'Sailor Mars' some respect for the Oldest Senshi.
---
Nabiki eyed the general craziness for a moment more before standing
up.
"While having a mystery guest drop in with no memory is amusing," she
admitted to the world in general, "I was planning on going to the
beach today. If you'll excuse me..."
Nabiki turned to go, only to find a teary-eyed Bunny standing in front
of her.
"Ohhh, can I go to the beach with you? Can I can I can I pleeeeeease?
I might be able to remember something!"
Nabiki opened her mouth to respond, and then paused. An insult might
start the waterworks again, and if Bunny got Soun going, they'd have
to pay for more water damage than a re-surfaced wreck.
"Would you happen to have any," asked Nabiki, getting a gleam in her
eye, "money on you?"
Bunny checked her pockets, and pulled out a LARGE wad of yen. Nabiki
had to hold back drool.
The mercenary Tendo started to think about how to get Bunny to give it
up piece by piece, then shrugged, and grabbed it all.
"This ought to pay for the ride to the beach, and everything else.
It'll even cover your rent for a few days." Nabiki nodded to Bunny
with a smile, seeing the girl begin to respond to her actions. "Come
on! Let's go have fun!" Usagi suddenly forgot the money, and nodded
happily.
Soun cried to himself in the corner. He would have to stay and wait
for his niece Usagi like a good uncle, and wouldn't be able to join in
the fun.
Nabiki looked over Bunny. "First, we've got to get you the proper
gear."
"Huh?" asked Bunny dumbly.
Nabiki grabbed Bunny's hand and left, with Kasumi following... as well
as Ranma, Akane, Kuno, Kodachi, Ukyou, Mousse, Shampoo, Cologne,
Happosai, Ryouga, Hiroshi, Daisuke, Copycat Ken, Taro, Herb, Lime,
Mint, Saffron, Kiima, Mikado Sanza-ninny, Azusa, Gosenkugi, Lum,
Ataru, Mendo, Megane, the rest of Lum's Fan Club, Urd, Skuld,
Belldandy, Keiichi, Tenchi, Ryouko, Ryo-Ohki, Ayeka, Sasami, Nobuyuki,
Yosho, Washuu, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Hikaru, Umi, Fuu, Kazuya, May,
Nanbara, Sara, Kasumi Tani, Rena, Kei, Mami, Kazuki, Mitsuki Senada,
Mitsuki Rara, Yayoi, Dee, Hibiki Amawa, Kurage, Fuuko, Fujio, Miho,
Seiko, Fukae, his two friends, Kouji Hakumori, Toufukuji, Kei and
Mizuho Kusanagi, Herikawa, Hyousuke, Matagu, Ichigo, Miaka, Yui,
Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Chiriko,
Amiboshi, Lupin III, Jigen, Fujiko, Goemon, Zanigata, Makoto Mizuhara,
Nanami, Mr. Fujisawa, Jinnai, Kintaru Oe, his female followers, Nuku-
Nuku, Ryounnosuke, Kyusaku, Akiko, the rest of Mashima Heavy
Industries, Futaba and Futana Shimeru, the Vegetable Man from Slayers,
and a panda holding a giant beach ball and umbrella.
Soun continued to weep in the corner at being left behind. Life was
so unfair!
---
Rei twitched slightly from her position on the ground. She was in an
INCREADBLE amount of pain. No, scratch that; it had moved beyond pain
and into some other realm on the other side. Yes, agony was the word.
Rei Hino was in agony.
Setsuna was looking in a mirror she had pulled from... somewhere
...and was fixing up a few strands of hair that had been dislodged
from the 'tussle'.
Rei stood up, seething, apparently none the worse for wear.
"What'd ya do that for?" she asked, glaring.
Setsuna put away the mirror, and smiled at Rei for a moment before
speaking.
"The Princess has been located, Rei. Would you like to know more?" she
asked smugly.
Rei was shocked by the abruptness in the change of conversational
topic. She then sighed... and the little cloud appeared.
Setsuna's eyebrow twitched.
Rei saw this and sweatdropped.
Setsuna, seeing this, facefaulted.
<poit> Rei blinked. Her eyebrow twitched.
And finally Setsuna got back to her feet.
"Oh dear. It seems it's contagious."
Both Sailor Senshi sweatdropped.
---
The beach was calm. One might say even peaceful. Waves were gently
lapping at the shores, a gentle breeze tickling the noses of the few
people around. Seagulls wandered the shore like some self-appointed
guardians, picking up what little trash they found and depositing it
into the murky depths of the ocean, where it would be washed away. It
was a picture perfect day.
It was not to last.
Like a tide of foul pollution, the horde of people washed over the
land, spearheaded by Nabiki and Bunny. Where they passed, innumerable
people followed in their wake to settle down at different spots on the
beach. Those few poor souls, who had thought that today would be free
of such desecration, were forced to find some other place to relax.
There were shouts here and there, peals of laughter, and generally the
sounds of the beach were prominent here.
As time passed, people began to gather here and there in groups,
brought together by like-minded individuals.
Lum and Ranma-chan were sparring in the sand, a large group of
spectators watching them. Both combatants relied heavily on moving
through the air.
Lined up off to the side were Saffron, Herb, Lime, Mint, Ryouga, Taro,
Ranma's typical attackers, as well as Tomahome, Tasuki, Nuriko,
Ryouko, Ayeka, and Yosho.
Nanbara was going on about destroying the Saotome name, Nabiki was
taking bets; Ukyou, Shampoo, Cologne, and Nanami were setting up food
stands. Their main customers were Bunny, Miaka, Mihoshi, and Sara.
Off in one area Kasumi, Belldandy, Sasami, Mitsuki Rara, and Mami
traded recipes and stories.
An argument about proper sword form sprung up between Kuno and Goemon,
while a perky fourteen-year-old named Hikaru interjected the
occasional comment.
Kei Kusanagi found an instant kinship with Hibiki Amawa.
Makoto Mizuhara, Kazuya, Washuu, and Skuld began discussing various
technical data.
Ryouga eventually passed out from blood loss from seeing so many women
in bathing suits.
Ataru was smacked, beaten, bruised, and burned a record number of
times in one day. Happosai was in competition with him to see how
many women they could grope in an hour.
What were the chances of something happening to this group of people?
A million to one, right?
---
Setsuna mulled over the problem in her head as Rei stewed. Finally,
she said with total conviction, "It must transfer with contact."
"What, may I ask, are you talking about?" Two veins pulsed on Rei's
face as she waited for Sailor Pluto to answer.
Setsuna sighed, and then pointed at the disappearing cloud. "Whatever
is creating these... things."
"And by 'contact' do you mean beating me to a bloody pulp?!"
Setsuna glanced over at Rei, who currently had fire burning behind
her, giving the girl an intimidating look.
"Look, do you want to find the Princess or not?" asked Setsuna as a
sweatdrop involuntarily appeared over her head.
The fire died out. "Fine. Lets go," spoke Rei tersely.
Setsuna rested a hand on Rei's arm, and teleported the two of them
toward Usagi's energy signature, in what was most likely the greatest
mistake she ever made.
---
Setsuna appeared, and blinked <poit>. The beach she'd appeared on
wasn't just crowded, it was packed. And even though she couldn't see
it, there was more of that Chaos energy here. In fact, there was even
more here than in Nerima. She shuddered, realizing that coming here
with her current ailment was probably one of her biggest mistakes.
Fortunately, Rei was there for spin control. A young man landed at
their feet (painfully, by the look of it) and moments later was
holding Rei, and muttering something about "one more to the growing
number" or some such nonsense, all the while groping her. Rei ignored
the senseless muttering, and kicked the man as hard as she could... to
send him flying once more.
"Daaaarling!" cried a flying girl as she broke off from her fight to
chase after her errant boyfriend.
The heavily electrified and smoking red haired girl glared sullenly at
her retreating opponent, but made no move to chase after the green
haired flyer. The girl's only movement was to twitch as residual
electricity sparked along various places of her body.
Ranma coughed once, heavily, before asking, "all right, who's next?"
Tamahome stepped inside the ring of people surrounding the impromptu
arena. He settled into a combat stance as he said, "I'll fight you."
Normally, Tamahome wouldn't fight a weakened opponent, nor would he
fight just for the heck of it; but he had seen this girl use some
pretty awesome moves, and he figured, even in her weakened state, she
could give him a run for his money. Besides, he might learn a thing
or two.
As Tamahome was trounced, an interesting phenomenon was taking place.
Actually, it was rather horrifying. Ataru, now afflicted with the
Anime-Symptoms-Syndrome (ASS) continued on his glomping, feel-em-up,
groping spree, and pretty soon girls left and right were swatting at
clouds, wiping away sweatdrops, covering their ears to drown out the
<poit>s or eating sand.
Kasumi's response to seeing all this going on pretty much sums it up
the best.
"Oh crap."
Everyone already afflicted with the ASS virus mass facefaulted at the
words. Those few not afflicted looked around in confusion as their
fellows collapsed to the ground for no apparent reason.
"What the hell?" asked a curious Tasuki, who had been comparing
thieving techniques with Lupin the Third. Consequently they had both
had been a little farther away from the rest of the people, and was as
yet unaffected.
Lupin scratched his head. "Maybe it's some new type of game everyone
is playing?" he guessed.
Mass sweatdropping ensued.
Tasuki shrugged. "To hell with them and their games. Let me tell you
about the time Kouji and I...." Their conversation became boring once
more, so the authors have decided to leave it cut off, like that.
Also, one of the authors would like to, at this time, put a specific
'fan' (YOU know who you are) in a vat of Rabid Wombats so he can be
mauled. Said fan screamed in pain and agony, much to the satisfaction
of the author... and then the story continued.
But not before the much saner of the two authors bopped the other
author over the head for interrupting the story.
Twin streaks of tears flowed down Setsuna's face as she beheld the
sight. It was all her fault. She should have learned her lesson at
her first attempt at teleporting, but nooooooo... she had to go and do
THIS.
Rei blinked <poit>, then asked, "So, where's the Princess?"
Setsuna's tears cleared up as if they had never been. She had
momentarily forgotten her objective. It took a few moments of doing,
but she spotted Usagi sitting over by the food booths happily slurping
up some ramen.
Setsuna paused. Actually, everyone on the beach paused. The two
authors decided to pause the story, and go grab a bite to eat. Seeing
as how they were both starving Authors, they deserved a meal. So...
as Kagato sat back down with 5 hotdogs smothered in ketchup and a line
of mustard ("a little hot dog with your ketchup?" his parents used to
admonish) Tannim ate... a Hershey bar.
Kagato would have to teach Tannim the true meaning of "putting a meal
away."
Finally, though, both authors sat back down to work on the story in
progress, with a final note to the readers.
Kagato turned towards the camera and smiled, a crumb caught in his
goatee. "Sorry about this... we'll get back to- uhh- the story. No
more demented interruptions like this... for the rest of this chapter.
I promise. And Tannim promises too, right?" Kagato turns a
questioning glare at Tannim, something otherwise impossible save for
the miracles of SI-sequences.
Tannim covered his face with his hand as he sighed. "You're the one
who always starts these, remember?" He turns to look at you, the
reader. "I'm sorry about this. Even I, the Editor, can't control
Kagato. He's like a force of nature; or, perhaps more accurately,
he's like an annoying little child that you aren't allowed to hit for
fear of repercussions."
Tannim coughed nervously into his hand.
"At any rate, we need to move things along, sooooo we'll just skip the
antics of the beach-goers and go straight to Setsuna making it to
Usagi with Rei in tow." After a moment Tannim held up a sign.
[THERE ARE NO PLOT HOLES].
Kagato's cat wandered over and pissed on his surge protector. The
resulting sparks removed Kagato from the e-world... forcibly.
Tannim blink-blinked. "Uh... never mind then. I guess we're going to
stop here." He turns to look at you, the viewer, once more. "This'll
be end of chapter one... pretty crappy for a cliffhanger, huh?"
---
Authors Notes:
Kagato: Well then. That's that. Chapter one; COMPLETE. Talk about a
pain in the ass. 21 pages of writing. Oh.. well.. yeah.. Tannim Helped
too.. I suppose.. but just a little! Anyways... enough about him. Next
time, in TTEOTM(AOTE): Flying fur, falling.. umm.. things.. and of
course, New, exciting applications of Jusenkyo curses!
Tannim: Now, after chapter one, comes the REALLY exciting part...
some of our most difficult and challenging work will be (hopefully)
completed as we weather the storm. What is going to be so difficult?
Kagato is going to get his run as Editor.
Yes, for the next seven parts we will have to deal with Kagato editing
my stuff, compiling both our works into one page, and then posting it
to the FFML. I have a few reservations about this, but it is his
turn.
I am afraid, oh so very afraid.
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