----- Original Message -----
From: "Cute Kitsune Kaydee" <fox1@colla.com>
To: "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Wednesday, September 04, 2002 9:56 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] [Xover] [Alt] [SI] [FIc] The New Girl Type Series
(unfinshed) (please c&c this)

Disclaimer : I don't own them any

All bases covered with this statement! Hey wait, does someone
own you? After all, your SI Character should be in this, right? You
should also say, "Don't use me without my expressed permission
(unless if you're a handsome/beautiful hunk/babe, then use me until
I scream "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!")."

" " = Japanese

' ' = English

/ / = Chinese

~ ~ = telepathic

( ) = thoughts



The New Girl Type Series

Is this the final name?

By

Cute Kitsune Kaydee



Prologue



September 9 , 2002

Ooo the future! Do they invent space cars by this date? I want one!

Kitsune's House

Kitsune was writing a fanfic where Ranma-chan had defeated Sash the Amazon
look-alike cousin of Usagi Tsukino in the Amazon Village instead of
Shampoo(1). She yawned and got up from the keyboard and decided to get

some

sleep since she hadn't had any for 24 hours. She felt tired. She stumbled
toward the doorway to the hall not noticing the doorway was glowing and
walked through it. Then in a flash of light the glow was gone ... and so

was

Kitsune.

This sounds like a summary, rather than a paragraph from a story. Also think
about
making a reason why your doorway suddenly became a teleportal straight into
Jusenkyo.
Maybe you pissed off some Oni you portrayed badly in a fanfic? Any silly
reason like
that works, but sudden random teleportals are boring ;P

1500 AD

Jusenkyo

Kitsune wondered why her foot was taking so long to hit the wood paneled
floor and opened her eyes and screamed , "AHHHHHHHH!"

Hey, you screamed in Japanese! Cool! ( "" = Japanese)

Unless she actually screams "something" it's usually understood that it's a
wordless
noise. Plus, the caps hurt my eyes...

Kitsune was falling through the air toward a group of pools below. There
were many people there but she was too high up to tell what they were

doing.

She had to know exactly where she was falling into. If I suddenly fell
towards an
area where a bunch of suspicous looking pools resided, I'd think "Oh crap,
it's going
to turn me into a snow monkey! I know it!" :)

'WHAT THE !@$%!$#^$! FREAKING @^#%@ FLAMIN' !@^#^@% DAMN HELL IS GOING ON
HERE?!' , cursed out Kitsune.

*eyes burning* I couldn't figure out what the was censored here. ... Only
bleep stuff
out if you don't already use another "fill in word" such as freaking, and
flaming, which
are usually replacers for the F-word. Or not :P

As she fell further towards the pools she could see what looked like
fighting. She fell further and saw people killing each other. She fell
further and saw what looked like big brutish men and smaller women

fighting

each other.

They also didn't seem to hear her caps! They certainly didn't answer her
legitimate question! :)

She saw a pool coming up fast and just as she was about to scream out loud
some more she fell into the pool.

Unnecessary to repeat pool...try using "it" instead of the second one. It
will sound better.

She felt the water covering her and flailed about and then surged upwards
and broke the surface. She gulped in large lungfulls of sweet air. Then

she

That's a lot of actions for one sentence. Wouldn't she hit her head, legs or
anything
when she fell from that far into the water? Those pools aren't that deep.
Plus, it
seems like she'd hit the water, be stunned for a second. Realize this was
Jusenkyo
and start freaking out. Or not...but it seems like she recovers
instantaneously from
a fall that would have very well killed anyone else. At least let her think
she's dead
for a second and that Poseidon must have taken her soul because she's in
some
horrible watery realm!

looked around and saw a bunch of people busy killing other people. A large

How much is a bunch? She's closer now, so she can tell us.

fur-covered man was about to stab a spear into a cute teenage girl who was

Two? Isn't that several fewer than a bunch? Maybe a couple people trying
to kill each other?

wearing armor. Not wanting to see a cute girl , and potential date , get

She thinks very highly of her seduction skills...

harmed Kitsune drew her magnum and fired at the large  , brutish , ugly

man.

The man went down with a startled expression on his face.

0_0 Magnum? You carry a magnum? Holy crap, I take it all back! Your fanfic
is PERFECT as is! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *Runs like the road runner*

***

Lotion knew she was dead when her foot slipped and she fell. She looked up

Lotion knew she was dead when her foot slipped in lotion!

and saw Ax Or's spear about to stab into her. She would not show fear

though

Is Ax Or related to Hax Or, the guy that cheats in video games all the time?

and looked at him with a defiant expression. He snarled in rage and

prepared

to finish her. She would die but she would die like an Amazon ... bravely

,

honorably , and defiant to the end. She would show that an Amazon was not

like an Amazon:  brave, honorable, and defiant to the end.

conquerable. She laughed at him and waited for the deathstroke. Suddenly a

Isn't being defeated and killed being conquered in a way?

loud noise was heard and he got a startled expression his face and then

fell

dead.

Uh yeah...

AN :

Unfinished rough draft

(1) Yes I really am writing a fic like this too and I have the permission

of

Sash's Creator.

A fanfic about yourself taking a break from another fanfic and falling into
a pool
of Jusenkyo and landing in the spring of the drowned Zombie-slaying brunette
member of S.T.A.R.S.? At least then, everyone could think she was a
Cosplayer :P

Interesting fanfic :) try adding some details to spice it up. Otherwise,
it's a story
about you, being magically teleported to Jusenkyo (of all places), where no
one is
cursed, and you kill a potentially psychopathic and armed guy from who knows
where, saving a potential date (who will likely fall in love with her new
hero and
make loud passionate sex that wakes up Lotion's village and brings more
Amazons
who are willing to give themselves up to someone as powerful as Kitsune to
use
a magnum against an enemy who wasn't even threatening her...?).

Of course, I'm being sarcastic :)

Ryan Erik
http://www.geocities.com/ryanerik99





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