[FFML] Re: [Buffy] [Ranma] [Various Anime Series] [Crossover] [Alt] The Buffybot Lives (draft) (c&c)



Disclaimer : I don't own them alright now dude(tte)s.

The Buffybot Lives

by

Cute Kitsune Kaydee



Prologue



A New Chance



Buffybot was chained up and about to be torn to pieces by angry biker
demons. She struggled to get loose and slay the demons. That's what she was
programmed to do. She realized she couldn't get loose and wondered what
would happen next. Was she about to cease? She had never given it much
thought before but she wondered now what would happen. She didn't think she
would go to heaven , that place she had talked to Dawn and the others about
, because she was a robot and robots didn't go to heaven ... at least she
didn't think so. Before that talk she had always thought people just ceased
being when they died then. But Dawn had said that people had souls and they
were pure energy that allowed a person to live on. Buffybot didn't think she
had a soul. What would happen to her? Would she just stop being? Like a
blown fuse would. Puff. No more Buffybot left atoll.


atoll --> at all

I can't remember what atoll means, but it's the name of a russian air to air missile...

Consider starting a new paragraph here, too (though thats just imo)

She remembered what she
had done since Willow fixed her. She had been helping them slay vampires and
keep people safe. She had learned how to make grilled cheese sandwiches. She
had spent many hours talking to Dawn. She had friends in Willow , Tara ,
Xander , Anya , even old Giles. Dawn was ... she was ... she was her ...
sister. Yes , Dawn was her sister. She protected Dawn. She made sure Dawn
was safe too. She cared about her , loved her sister. It was then that she
realized something. Something simple. Something true. Something powerful.
Something real.



<snip>

It was then that a voice called out , "HEY! YOU UGLY THINGS! YEAH! YOU DEMON
S ON THE BIKES! LET THE GIRL GO OR I'LL BASH YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!"

The demons looked over to where the voice was and saw a figure standing
there.

The figure advanced and out stepped an asian youth wearing a dirty ,
travel-stained , yellow shirt and green pants. He also had a tiger-stripped
bandanna and a backpack. He lifted up a red bamboo umbrella and shook it at
the demons.

AN :

This is an unfinished draft of the prologue. Tell me what you think.
Is it worth continuing this.

Curiously, I was planning a similar scene in my fic, for the next chapter.
Though it would have been Ranma and/or Tenchi doing the rescuing.

Personally, though, I think you should only continue this if you can see where it would go next, and have an idea of what would happen after that.
Considering Ryoga's bad sense of direction, I doubt he would stick around for long (even if he wanted to). That would mean that you end up with a retelling of Buffy Season 6, but with the Buffybot still alive. Now, while it may be interesting to find out what would happen, I don't think it would lend to an interesting story in itself.
If you could think of some interesting people to introduce (like the Ranma mirror clones, or perhaps, Goku, or maybe Tenchi is on vacation with the girls?) and then set them up to interact with the buffy bot on the side to the 'buffybot lives, after all' thread, then have the two lines converge over the length of your story, ending in some big explosion (either of the phsical or emotional, or both varieties)... then you've got yourself an interesting fic, which I would be interested in reading.

Anyhow.
Don't mind me - I've no idea what I'm talking about =)

ja ne,
-Alex Timiney

"The uproar of one hand clapping"