Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic] [Crossover] [Parody - Humor] Square Trek - Parts 3 & 4
From: Parker Schadegg
Date: 8/29/2002, 8:20 AM
To: The FFML


Disclaimer:  All characters mentioned in this fictional piece are property
of Squaresoft and are used without permission.  No copyright infringement
is intended or should be perceived.

Warning:  The following fic is intended for an immature audience that has
reached the age of maturity.  Strong language ahead.  That is all.

Previous chapters, as well as other series may be found here:

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/Mikhal001/

Editor's notes to follow.

- - - Start Fic - - -

Omake Theater presents....

Square Trek

Episode 3

[The Highwind cruses at a high speed somewhere out in the middle of
space.]

Cloud voice over:  The new crewmembers we picked up the other day seem
to be doing just fine.  The only person I'm worried about is Magus.  We
haven't seen him since he came aboard.

[Vincent and Cid are in Engineering arguing about something.]

Vincent:  Look asshole, I don't care if you don't LIKE IT, just DO IT!

Cid:  And who are you?  My mother?

Vincent:  (Talking innocently)  Well, no.I'm not, but I _am* they guy
who's in charge of payroll.

Cid:  You wouldn't.

Vincent:  It would be pretty unfortunate if I for some reason.skipped a
couple of zeros.

Cid:  Fine, you made your point.

Vincent:  Good.  Now get your ass in those Jeffrey tubes and find out
what that crunching noise was.

Cid:  (Starts to climb up the Jeffrey tubes)  Yeah, yeah (mutters)
probably your mom munching on some Fritos.

[A minute goes by and there's no word from Cid.]

Vincent:  Feh.  Lazy-assed bastard's prolly sleeping on the job.

Voice:  Psst!

Vincent:  (Looks around)  What the fuck?

Voice:  Psst!  Hey, Vincent!

[Vincent looks to see where the voice is coming from and sees Magus
underneath a console in the corner of the room holding a broomstick.]

Vincent:  There you are Magus, we've been looking all over for you.  I
was wondering when you'd show-

Magus:  Shhh!  Not so loud.

Vincent:  (Looks puzzled)  What's going on?

[Magus gestures for Vincent to come closer.]

Magus:  We've got to get off this ship.

Vincent:  (Rolls eyes)  This wouldn't have anything to do with that cat
would it?

Magus:  Yes!  It has everything to do with that cat!  Nobody realizes
it but that cat will be the death of this ship.

Vincent:  Magus, I think you're overreacting.  I've got this thing for
spiders so I know exactly how you f-

Magus:  (Cuts Vincent short)  Did you hear that?

Vincent:  (Irritated) NO!  I didn't here a damn thing Magus.

Magus:  (Shifting around uncomfortably)  H-he's here.  I can feel it.

[A small brown cute looking cat comes onto the scene.]

Vincent:  Oh, there he is.  (Kneels down)  Come here little guy.

Cat:  Meow?

Magus:  (Scared shitless)  Vincent.  I'm telling you this as your
friend.  DON'T touch that cat.

Vincent:  But he's such a cute little thing.  Here, I'll show you that
there's nothing to worry about.

Magus:  (Covers eyes)  I can't watch.

Vincent:  (Starts to pet the cat)  You see Magus?  Nothing to worry
about.

Cat:  Meooooow.

Magus:  Heaven help us.

[Scene changes to Cloud, Crono, Frog, Tiffa and Barret on the bridge.]

Cloud:  Where the hell is Vincent?  He was supposed to be back from
Engineering like five minutes ago.

Crono:  Maybe he got scared of that cat too.

Cloud:  I dunno.  Vincent is a lot of things but he isn't afraid of
cats.

Tiffa:  What's the cat's name by the way?

Crono:  Spooky.

Barret:  Spooky?  Wouldn't suppose Magus named it.

Crono:  Well.yes, as a matter of fact.

Cloud:  Figures.

Tiffa:  Captain, I've found another inhabited planet.  It might be
Square inhabited.

Cloud:  Great.  Put it on screen.

[The screen shows a planet totally covered in vegetation.]

Crono:  Whoa.  Jolly Green Giant meltdown.

Tiffa:  Should we establish an away team?

Cloud:  Yeah why not.  Tiffa and Barret you stay here, Crono and Frog
come with me.

[Cloud, Crono and Frog exit the bridge.  The scene changes to Cid in
the Jeffry tubes.]

Cid:  Damn it all.  Why'd I ever listen to that longhaired son of a
bitch.

[Cid is hopelessly stuck in the tubes.]

Cid:  (Sighs)  Well.  Least it's quiet.

[Loud slashing and yelling noises come from below in engineering.]

Cid:  What in the hell?  Sounds like a pack of damned rabid chipmunks
down there.

[Scene changes to Red 13 and Yuffie in Yuffie's office.]

Yuffie:  Ok good.  Say it again.

Red 13:  I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it.people like
me.

Yuffie:  Good.  I think that should be about all for today.

Red 13:  What if I see that big talking frog again?

Yuffie:  Don't worry about it, he's just part of our new crew.  Plus no
frog is going to ruin your day right?

Red 13:  (Shimmering with confidence)  Right!  Nothing's gonna bring me
down today.  I'm unstoppable!

Yuffie:  Right you are.  Go get 'em tiger.

[Red 13 steps outside of Yuffie's office and breaths in and out.]

Red 13:  Ah.  Nothing's going to stop me today.

[Vincent and Magus run down the hall as fast as their legs can carry
them.  Vincent's clothes are all
shredded up.]

Vincent and Magus:  AHHHHHHH!!!!

Red 13:  Hey guys what's up?

Vincent:  Run Red!  For heaven's sake RUN!!!

[Vincent and Magus disappear around the corner.]

Red 13:  (Smiles)  Oh. you guys.

[A little brown cat with red eyes comes out of nowhere and viciously
mauls Red 13.]

Red 13:  AHHH!!!  Gettemoff Gettemoff!!!

[Scene changes to the transporter room where Cloud, Crono and Frog are
about to transport to the planet.]

Cloud:  (Talking to some no name ensign behind the console)  Ok kid.
Ready when you are.

[Vincent and Magus run into the transporter room and hide behind the
console.]

Vincent and Magus:  AHHHHH!!!

Cloud:  What the FUCK?

Vincent:  (Out of breath) Y-you think we lost him?

Magus:  (Also out of breath) I don't know man.  I don't know.

Vincent:  I'm so sorry.  I'll never doubt you again.

Cloud:  VINCENT!  MAGUS!  Where the hell have you two been?

Vincent:  Cloud we've got to get off this ship!  We're all gonna die!

Cloud:  What's gotten into you Vincent?  Why are your clothes all
shredded up?

Vincent:  That cat's not what he seems!  He's the devil!  Satan
incarnate!

Cloud:  (Skeptical)  Are you sure you didn't just rub him the wrong way
or pull his tail or somethin'?

Magus:  Please Cloud, take us with you!

Cloud:  If I do will you two please act like normal human beings?

Vincent and Magus:  YES!

Cloud:  Alright, alright.  Hop on.

[Vincent and Magus scramble on the transporter pad.]

Cloud:  Energize.

[The no name ensign pushes the button and the away team dissipates.]

Ensign:  We're all gonna die huh?  Oh well.  (Sits down and picks up a
magazine)

[The scene changes to Yuffie's office where a scratched up Red 13 and a
scared shitless Yuffie are huddled
together in the corner.]

Yuffie:  W-w-what is that thing?

Red 13:  (Stares blankly in front of him) Gettemoff.  G-gettemoff.

Yuffie:  Look!  (Points to the door, which seems to be getting a hole
in it)

Red 13:  He's coming through!  We're gonna DIE!!!

Yuffie:  (Hysterical)  I'm too young to die!  I'm too young to die!

[Scene changes to Aeris walking in the hallway.  She comes across the
cute brown cat.]

Aeris:  Oh, there you are kitty.

Spooky:  (Eyes go normal) Meow?

Aeris:  (Bends down to pick up the cat that in turn purrs)  You're such
a cute little thing.  (Walks into
Yuffie's office)

Aeris:  Councilor Yuffie, have you seen the Captain?

Yuffie:  Aeris look out!  It's a monster!

Aeris:  (Looks behind her)  A monster?  Where?

Red 13:  Keep him away!  Keep him away!

Aeris:  Well if you don't know where the Captain is I guess I'll leave.

Yuffie:  C-close the door on your way out!

Aeris:  You two seem pretty tense. you want me to leave the kitty?

Red 13 and Yuffie:  NOOOOOOOO!!!  (Both try shield their faces)

Aeris:  Well.  Okay.  Bye  (Closes door behind her).

[Scene changes to Cloud and the Away team on the planet's surface.]

Vincent:  Alright!

Magus:  Freedom!

[Vincent and Magus give each other high fives.]

Cloud:  Will you two calm down?  We're off the ship what more do you
want?

[Vincent and Magus compose themselves and look serious.]

Cloud:  That's better.  Now to explore this pla-

Voice:  Halt!  Who goes there?

[The away team looks behind them to see a pissed dwarf-like creature
with funny ears.]

Crono:  What the hell is that?

Magus:  And I thought our world had some strange looking people.

Dwarf:  (Pointing a little bow and arrow at the group)  Who you callin'
strange?  I'm given' you guys five seconds to get your asses out of
here.

Cloud:  (Amused)  Or what?  You'll shoot us with that thing?

[The dwarf shoots an arrow at Cloud who narrowly dodges it.]

Cloud:  (Supremely pissed)  Oh, that does it.  Get 'em guys!

[Then next few seconds wasn't so much a fight as it was a blatant
example of child abuse.]

Cloud:  That was strangely satisfying.

Crono:  It was.

Frog:  Tis' true

[A guy with funky hair and a girl in pink genie pants come onto the
scene.]

Guy:  Hey, what did you do to the sprite?

Girl:  It's only a child.

Vincent:  (Cracking his knuckles while grinning)  We taught it some
manners.

[The guy and the girl ponder this for a second.]

Girl:  That's ok I suppose.

Guy:  Guess I should've done that earlier.

Sprite:  (Battered and broken)  Hey.

Girl:  So what's up?

Cloud:  I'm Captain Cloud and this is my crew.  We fly around on a
space ship called the Highwind looking for Square inhabited worlds to
observe.

Guy:  Kick ass.

Sprite:  Whoopie fuckin' do.

Magus:  (Kicks the sprite hard in the ribs)  Shut it.

Girl:  It's nice to meet you.

Magus:  What's that little shit's name down there?

Guy:  That?  We just call it Sprite.

Crono:  It?

Guy:  Well.  We're not quiet sure if it's male or female.

Vincent:  It's Pat!

[Nobody laughs at Vincent's joke, rather they just stare at him.]

Vincent:  What?

Cloud:  Anyway, what are _your* names?

Girl:  Well.everyone just calls me Girl.

Crono:  (Sarcastic)  Let me guess, everyone calls you Boy right?

Guy:  Yeah.actually.

Cloud:  Figures.

Vincent:  Girl?  Boy?  That won't do at all.  You people need some REAL
names.

Crono:  Frog, you're pretty articulate.

Frog:  (Nods and strokes his chin)  This is true.

Cloud:  Yeah Frog, why don't you name 'em.

Frog:  (Thinks for a moment)  Ah-ha!  Gwen and Jeeves!

[Everyone just looks at Frog.]

Cloud:  What kind of half-assed-

Frog:  Fine, fine.  Don't get thine knickers in a twist.

[Cloud looks at Crono who just shrugs.]

Frog:  (Puts his hands in the air like he's been given divine advice)
Katrina and Carl.

[The guy and girl ponder this for a second.]

Guy:  I guess that's alright.

Girl:  Sounds good.

Sprite:  What about me?

Frog:  You're still Sprite bitch.

Sprite:  Shit.

Cloud:  So what do you guys do around here?

Carl:  Well, mostly save the world and stuff.

Magus:  You don't say.

Cloud and Crono:  Sweet!  Just like us!

Carl:  You guys too?  What are the odds?

Vincent:  I'm starting to see a pattern with these Square inhabited
worlds.

Carl:  I really dig your hair too.

Cloud:   (Pats his head)  Really you think it's nice?

Crono:  Yours isn't bad yourself.

[Everyone else just looks at each other.]

Cloud:  Would you guys like to join us on the Highwind?

Katrina:  (Shrugs)  It's not like we've got anything else better to do.

Carl:  Sounds like a blast.

Sprite.  No.

Cloud:  Great it's settled then.

Sprite:  Damn it all.

Katrina:  Can we bring our pet?

Cloud:  Sure I love pets.

Vincent:  Now wait a minute here.  Is this pet a cat?

Katrina:  No.

Magus:  Demonic?

Katrina:  No.

Vincent:  Ok cool.  Guess we're all set then.

Carl:  (Takes out Flamie's favorite toy and waves it around)  Flamie!!!

[A big flying dragon comes out of nowhere and sits next to Carl.]

Frog:  Eeek!  (Jumps into Crono's arms)

Vincent:  (Eyeing Flamie warily)  What now fearless leader?

Cloud:  (Looks at Flamie)  Er.a promise is a promise I guess.  (Hits
communicator)  Highwind!  9 to
beam up.

Voice from communicator:  9?  Captain you haven't-

Cloud:  Dammit, just do it.

Voice:  No problem sir.

[Everyone starts to shimmer and grow faint.]

Magus:  Wait a minute.  The cat!!!

Vincent:  Shit I forgot!  I ain't goin' back!  Help!!!

[The Away team as well as the new recruits disappear.  The scene
changes to Cid in the Jeffrey tubes.]

Cid:  (Trying to wriggle his way out of the tubes)  Man, I ain't never
forgivin' his ass for this shit.

[Cid suddenly becomes loose and falls the entire length of the Jeffry
tube to the floor of engineering.

Cid:  (Facedown and motionless) M-medic.

Spooky:  Meow?

Cid:  (Looks up from his crater in the floor) What the hell?

Spooky:  Meow.

Cid:  Heh.  You know what?  You're kind of a cute little bugger -

[The cute brown cat's eyes turn red as he jumps for Cid's neck.]

Cid:  AH!  AHHHH!!!  Get this thing off of me!  Oh, the humanity!

[The scene changes to Red 13 and Yuffie in Yuffie's office.]

Red 13:  (Still shaking) Y-you think the coast is clear?

Yuffie:  (Also shaking) I don't know.  Lets check.

[Both Red 13 and Yuffie step out into the hallway.]

Red 13:  Well, at least that cat is gone.

[A scared shitless Flamie come barreling down the hallway.  Cloud and
the rest of the previous away team
are chasing him.]

Cloud:  Whoa there big fella!  Heel!

Carl:  Flamie stop!  No one's going to hurt you!

[The whole group disappears around the corner.]

Red 13:  That was a.

Yuffie:  .a dragon?

[Red 13 and Yuffie quick jump back into Yuffie's office and hide behind
the door.  The scene changes to a shredded up Cid running for his life
down a hallway.]

Cid:  Somebody help!!!  Call an exorcist!!!

[Cid keeps running until he sees Flamie coming straight at him.]

Cid:  No way!  This isn't happening!  (Cid drops to the floor as Flamie
tromps over him.)

[Flamie stops dead in his tracks when he sees Spooky at the end of the
hall.]

Cid:  M-metic.

Crono:  Why did he just stop?

Vincent:  (Grabs Carl by the shirt)  Ok man, what's the big idea
bringing a raging beast onboard the ship huh?  What the hell kind of
pet is this?

Carl:  (Putting his hands up defensively)  Hey man.  How was I supposed
to know he'd go apeshit after
being beamed aboard?

Katrina:  (Puts a hand on Flamie) What's the matter with you Flamie?

Magus:  Shhh!  It's that cat again.

[Everyone goes silent as they watch Flamie and Spooky stare each other
down like in an old western.]

Spooky:  Meow..

Flamie:  Rrrrrrr.

Spooky:  Meoooooow.

Flamie:  Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[The two squint at each other as a piece of tumbleweed rolls by.]

Cloud:  (Whispering to the others)  No contest.  A Dragon this big will
waste a little kitty.

Vincent:  Uh.  One might think so but.

[All of a sudden a door slides open and Robo flies into the hallway.
Marle is standing at the doorway with a towel wrapped around her
looking pissed as hell.]

Marle:  And STAY out of my quarters you perverted piece of shit!

[The tension in the air hits a climax as Spooky and Flamie lunge at
each other.  Robo gets caught up in the fray and becomes.shall we
say."inoperable".]

Frog:  E-GAD!

Cloud:  Holy shit man!  Look at 'em go!

[Flamie and Spooky roll around the corridor smashing through walls and
destroying computer equipment.  Flamie roared and clawed at Spooky
while Spooky hissed and clawed at Flamie.  More or less it looked
like some kind of Godzilla movie.]

Marle:  Wha-what in the hell's going on?

Cid:  (Practically in tears) My ship.

Vincent:  They're heading right for engineering!

Cloud:  (His eyes narrow as he looks at both Crono and Carl.)  From now
on, no more pets!

End of Episode 3

- - -
Omake Theatre Presents....

Square Trek

Episode 4

(The crippled image of the USS Highwind is floating in a random
direction in the vastness of space)

Cloud voice over: How's it going? We're having a slight problem on
board the Highwind. You see, Crono's cat and Carl's Dragon kind of had
a little tiff. Things were said...people were killed... You know, it's
all about the he said she said bullshit. Anyway to make a long story
short I'm trapped in my ready room with the entire crew seeing as how
it's the only airtight compartment left in the ship-

Entire Cast: H~iiiii!!!

Red 13 Voice: Greetings Square Trekkers!

[A dull thud and a sharp intake of breath is heard.]

Cloud voice over: We sent out a distress beacon... Sorry, I lied.
*Tiffa send out a distress beacon-bless her heart (Tiffa giggles in the
background) to the nearest Squarefleet ship in the vicinity. We have no
idea where they are and how long it's gonna take them to get here but
it's okay because the replicator is revved up and the booze is
plentiful.

Vincent voice: (Clearly drunk) Heeeeey Cloud... What's happin'?

Cloud Voice over: Vincent. Get your drunk BITCH-ass off of my display
case. I swear you need supervision.

Vincent voice: Tenchi! Breh-faas! It's time for Breh-faas! (Loud slam
is heard as Vincent falls off the case.)

Cloud Voice over: (Clearly annoyed) Golly... I can't seem to turn my
back on my crew FOR TWO...FUCKING....SECONDS!!!!

[Dead silence]

Vincent Voice: Owie...

Cloud Voice over:  I'm gonna just let flashbacks take care of the past
from now on. Not only is quick and easy but the money I save on Advil
is quite substantial. (Mutters) This has got to be the lamest Captain's
log ever... What will all the other Captain's think?

[Scene changes to the Highwind back when it was operational.  Flamie
and Spooky are brawling through the
passageways.]

Cid:  Whaaa!  My ship!  Somebody get the friggin' animal control in
here right now!

Crono:  Call the Crocodile Hunter!

Vincent:  Forget that!  We need guns!  We need big fucking guns!

Red 13:  I got it!  I'll get a subatomic canon!

[Everyone just stares at Red 13.]

Cloud:  Great Red...  You just...go ahead and do that.

[Red 13 throws a hasty salute and scurries off around the corner.]

Cloud:  I guess he thinks he's helping.

[Everyone seems to nod in agreement.]

Marle:  (Still in a bath towel)  I'm fucking freezing out here!  (Kicks
the remains of Robo down the hallway.)  I didn't even get to condition
my hair!  The bastard...

Lucca:  (Bends down and caresses a oily battered robotic eyeball to her
cheek)  ::Sniff::  Don't worry Robo...  I'll fix you some how...

Cid:  Not with *my tools...

Lucca:  Common!!!

Tiffa:  I'll go ahead and send out a distress beacon.  (Starts to run
off.)

Cloud:  Whoa whoa wait Tiffa.  I don't think this will be good for my
career you know?  Letting demons and dragons aboard...  That sort of
behavior tends to be Mmm...frowned upon by the rest of Squarefleet.

Tiffa:  But if we don't do something soon those two will crash into the
Echo wing.

Cloud:  (Eyes widen)  Echo wing!  By the name of  Nibelheim *Run,
Tiffa!

[Tiffa takes off down the hallway.]

Aeris:  (Innocently)  What's in the Echo wing?

Cloud:  (Coughs into his hand)  Oh, you know...  Secret stuff that the
enemy can never find out about us.  Best you don't know about it.

Cid:  (In a monotone voice) Every Squaresoft game known to man.

Cloud:  Turncoat!!!  (Shakes fist at Cid)

Cid:  Was that out loud?  Well, shit.

[Cloud gives the glare of contempt]

Vincent:  Hey guys.  What's Red doing down there anyway?

Cloud:  (Looking over his shoulder)  Aw, Red...  For crying out loud.
You're not helping any- HOLY SHIT!!!

Red 13:  (Wheeling a huge futuristic looking cannon out of the
holodeck)  Help is on the way guys!

Cloud:  Red Thirteen you put that monstrosity back from where ever you
got it right NOW!  That thing's libel to do a hell of a lot more damage
than that cat and dragon ever will.

Magus:  (Pondering for a moment)  Maybe yes, maybe no...

Vincent:  Toss up really...

Red 13:  Don't worry Captain I know what I'm doing.  I use this baby in
the holodeck all the time (Whips out a book of matches to light the
fuse)

Cid:  (Eyes wide)  A....f-fuse?

Vincent:  Oh don't tell me...

Red 13:  (Struggling with the matches as he tries time and time again
to light a single spark)  Come on.  ::Skrit...skrit::  Come on...
(Looks up nervously)  Heh heh...  ::Skrit...skrit::  Wet matches don't
light so good do they?  Heh...

Cloud:  (Shakes his head sadly)  Outstanding Red...  Outstanding...

Red 13:  Wait!  Here we go!  Stand clear everybody!  (Fuse starts to
burn down)

Cloud:  (Starting to cover his ears)  This is all coming out of your
paycheck I hope you know.

[The canon goes off without warning in a brilliant display of swirling
aqua blue colors.  The blast spirals down the hall towards Flamie and
Spooky.  Flamie's eyes go wide as he pounces out of the way.  Spooky on
the other hand catches the blast full force and is hurdled through
multiple walls and finally the hull out into the confines of space.  A
giant rip in the space time continuum is created from the sheer force
of the blast.  An ominous "Ahh...." can be heard as the light returns
to normal.]

Everyone:  ...

Cloud:  Well Red...  I sure hope you're happy.

Red 13:  I don't understand... I didn't think I used so much Quantum
Gun powder.

Cloud:  (Furiously shaking Red 13 by the neck)  I swear Red!  I have
more luck talking to Teddy Ruxbin than you!  What is your *deal!?

Red 13:  Gaak!  I'm s-sorry Captain...

Tiffa:  (Out of breath)  Captain!  We have to detach the bridge from
the main ship!  We're being sucked into the vortex caused by that
blast!

[Cid bursts into a flood of tears]

Cloud:  (Shaking Red more than ever)  YOU OWE ME A SHIP RED!  YOU OWE
ME ANOTHER FUCKING SHIP!

Cid:  (Weeping into his hands)  My ship...  My beautiful beautiful
ship...

[The scene changes to the present inside Cloud's ready room.  Cloud is
walking around with a martini in his hand.]

Cloud:  (Walks up to the window by Aeris)  The stars sure are beautiful
tonight aren't they?  (Downs his glass in one gulp)

Aeris:  Yes.  And that blue vortex that's pulling us in is very pretty.

Cloud:  (Drops glass on the floor)  What!?  Pulling us in!?

Aeris:  That or it's getting bigger and bigger.  Either way we're
screwed I suppose.

Cloud:  Red!  Where are you!?

Red 13:  (Bounding in from out of nowhere)  Here Captain!

Cloud:  (Furiously shaking Red 13 by the neck)  YOU'VE KILLED US ALL
YOU SORRY RED HAIRED OVERGROWN HOUSECAT!  I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

Yuffie:  (Gently separating Cloud from Red 13)  Now Captain, what did
we just discuss?

Cloud:  (Seeing the world through a Red Haze)  Don't know...  War?

Vincent, Crono and Carl:  (All nod aggreeingly with their arms crossed)
War.

Cloud:  (Redoubles efforts on Red 13's neck) AHHHHHRGH!!!

Tiffa:  (Pointing outside the window)  Look!  Another ship!

Cloud:  (Instantly letting go of Red 13 and pins his face up against
the glass like a kid outside a toy store)  A ship!  We're saved!

Red 13:  (Coughing and falling to the ground)  A-air... (Cough)  Sweet
giver of l-life...

Aeris:  This Lion need medical attention!

Marle:  (Still in bath towel)  Tiffa dear, sick bay is somewhere in
that blue void  (Points outside window)

Aeris:  ...  ...  ...  (Puts hands to her mouth in horror)  My books!

Marle:  Noooow it sinks in...

Tiffa:  (Looking at handheld computer)  Captain it looks like the ship
is from Squarefleet.  A Highwind class I believe.

Everyone:  Yaaaay!

Frog:  (Pumps a fist into the air)  Hip! Hip! (waits for everyone to
say "Hooray!" but instead everyone just looks at him strangely)

Sprite:   What the fuck is a Hip-hip?  Anyone know?  (Various shrugs
and murmurs of 'I don't know' and 'Beats me' is heard)

Frog:  It doth not surprise me...  (Angrily sits down with his arms
crossed) Uncultured heathens...

Cloud:  (Stands on a chair)  Everyone!  Everyone please calm down...
Calm down...  I have an announcement to make.

[Everyone looks up at Cloud]

Cloud:  I'd just like to thank Tiffa for keeping her head in this
situation and doing everything that her job entailed.  She pretty much
saved everyone's ass aboard this ship, so if we could just give her a
round of applause that would be great.  Thanks Tiffa.

[Everyone starts clapping and Tiffa blushes profusely.]

Cloud:  Remind me to send you a fruit basket or something.

[The scene changes to a dense bamboo forest out in the middle of
nowhere.  Spooky climbs out of the deep crater he made upon impact with
great difficulty.  His fur is matted and slightly charred.

Spooky:  M..mmm... (cough) meow...  (Lays down on the lush grass to
rest)

[Out from behind the trees an evil looking man with red hair and sharp
teeth in a blue tattered Karate Gi approaches the small cute looking
brown cat with interest.]

Akuma:  I sense...much hidden power in you.

Spooky:  (Tiredly looks up at Akuma)  Meow?

Akuma:  Yes...  Know the name of your new master.  AKUMA!  (Lightning
strikes in the background...and yet there's no rain clouds).

Spooky:  ...

Akuma:  Tell me young one, what is your name?

Spooky:  Meow.

Akuma:  A child's name.  From now on, your name will be Tora!

Spooky:  (Testing the name) Roar-ra?

Akuma:  I have a disciple.  Feel...fortunate.

Spooky:  (Looks at the camera)  ...

End of episode 4

18Jan01

- - - End Fic - - -

Editor's Notes:

As always C&C is welcome here, or sent to the true brain-child behind the
Omake Theatre at:

Manji68@yahoo.com

I can still look back on these and smile - seeing as how these are years
old.  Four at the most if I'm not mistaken. We sure have come a long way
and I thank every one who sent feedback to us.  We appreciate all of it.

Parker Schadegg
Webmaster & Creator - An Anime Archive - http://valiance001.anifics.com
Webmaster & Co-Creator - Omake Industries -
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/Mikhal001/

"My steel is strong, my wit is sharp and my skill is surpassed only by my
determination." -- Kusangai Mikhal, Ruler of Izumo


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