Part 2/2
---Satellite of Love
Crow came to the bridge dressed in a cap and gown. Three desks were
set up on the opposite side of the bridge, and all three were filled by
Joel, Mike, and Tom. Crow held a pointer in his right claw, which he
used to tap the blackboard behind him.
"And when you know you have sentient technology?" Crow asked.
"Oooh, oooh, I know!" Tom shouted.
"Uhh... Mike!"
Mike looked somewhat confused. "Would that be when the technology is
vaguely threatening you with orange energy balls?"
"Not entirely... anyone else?"
"C'mon, c'mon! ME!" Tom yelled.
"Joel Robinson," Crow ordered.
Joel looked thoughtful for a second. "That's when your technology
has evolved to the point of blaming others for her happiness as she
fries people she just doesn't like, right?"
"Correct!" Crow trumpeted. "Now, we will study the subject of the
care and feeding of such technology. First rule, and this is key; when
the sentient technology is cursed, make sure there is plenty of curse-
breaking material handy. In this case, that material would be...?"
Tom practically jumped out of his seat. "OOooh!!"
"Mike?" Crow asked.
Mike scratched his head. "It'd have to be warm water, right?"
"Exactly! Hey, Robinson, no doodling in class!" Crow yelled.
"Sorry Crow."
"It's PROFESSOR Crow. Now, how often should your sentient technology
be watered and fed? Especially when it is granted with a carbon-based
body? Mike?"
Mike shook his head as if to wake up. "Uhh... whenever they support
their own damn selves?"
"HEY! HEY HEY HEY!" Crow yelled.
"Present company excepted... besides, you're not carbon based."
"But still..." Crow grumbled.
"Why am I never called upon?!" Tom Servo wailed.
Crow shook his head. "You're not raising your hand."
"I CAN'T raise my hand, you knob! They don't work!!"
The lights started flashing and the alarms blared. "Later guys, we
have FIC SIGN!" Joel yelled as he crumpled up his doodle sheet.
(Door #7: the dog-bone raises and the doors separate)
(Door #6: a Dutch double-door. You open the top and fall over the
bottom)
(Door #5: Just to spite you, it's a window.)
(Door #4: it's a garage door. You have to open it manually)
(Door #3: "The Complete Works of David Eddings"... flame works well)
(Door #2: It's a wardrobe. You open the door... but no Narnia)
(Door #1: a vault door; after it shuts again, it effectively keeps you
inside)
(Mike entered the theater, carrying Tom. Tom was placed in the fourth
seat from the right, as Mike sat next to him. After that was Joel, and
Crow, still in mortarboard cap, sat in the far right seat.)
Navi stoped kicking Genma-panda and looked toward the four sitting
in the dinning room. She smiled and walked in.
Tom: So, she's been working him over for the better part of twenty-five
minutes or so?
Mike <Navi>: Nuku-nuku.... errrr, Navi would like to meet you! Have
any tuna here?
Tom: Nerima... Nerima... any connection?
Crow: [singing] Who can light up the whole room... with her smile?
Coming to stand behind Nabiki, she looked at the contract.
Joel <Navi>: There's NO WAY you'll ever find someone stupid enough to
notarize that! My gosh, "fiancee" isn't spelled with three C's! And
it is NOT the fifty-third of Febtober!
"I think that�s a good idea! Be sure to include a clause... umm...
I'm not going to hurt you."
Crow: Yeah, right. Just like New Coke was supposed to taste better?
Mike <Nabiki>: An 'I'm not going to hurt you' clause? If there's any
extortion around here, I'm controlling it!
She looked at Nabiki and Kasumi hiding behind Ranma and Ryoga.
Tom: The hell, is Akane still doing the backstroke in the pond?
Joel: Probably more like the dead-man's float.
"If this is about me threaten and blasting Genma, I can explain.
Crow <Nabiki>: Can you explain your friend tossing our baby sister?
Mike <Ryouga>: Oh, that was just for kicks.
I'm new to this. Up to a few weeks ago, I was just a Navigational
Audio and Visual Instrument."
Crow: Holy crap! I never knew GPS locators were THIS violent!
Mike <Navi>: I'm not a rogue boomer! Nabiki, who are you calling?!
Joel <Nabiki>: Uhh... I'm ordering a pizza! Yeah, that's it! From the
Always-Delivery Pizza department... Nene Romanova, is it? HURRY!
Nabiki and Kasumi Looked at Navi with startled eyes.
Navi sighed. "Here, let me show you". Then she grabbed the kettle
>from the table and poured it over her head. In an instant, she was
gone and a little shoulder pad with a blue glass-disk clatters to the
ground.
Tom: Sailor Mercury's computer was never the same after she defragged
it as a palmpad.
Crow <Nabiki>: Can you get it to work, Ranma? How about this switch?
Mike <device>: General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the
Clone Wars...
A second later, a translucent Navi appeared, hovering slightly above
the disk. "Hi, this is my true form. And I'm very sorry about scaring
you."
Tom: <Navi> I used to be part of an android's personal effects until
he replaced me with a hologram of some short-haired blond in a spandex
uniform that put out for him... <sighs> Data no baka....
Joel: How in heck did Genma and Ranma get their hands on an obviously
sophisticated piece of equipment anyway?
Nabiki blinked, and then looked over to her sister, to find that
Kasumi had fainted. "Okay." she walked over to Navi. "You�re a tool?"
Mike: Of the oppressive Orwellian regime, yes.
Crow <Nabiki>: May I pound nails with you?
Joel: Can I hammer you in the morning? In the evening? All over this
land?
Navi looked over toward Ranma and watched him, as he gently picked
Kasumi up and carried her to the couch.
Crow: Ohh man, not the COUCH! Anything BUT the COUCH!!
Tom <Ranma>: I can't wait any more! HOTCHA!
Mike <Navi>: Man, why does he want analog when he could have hot
steaming digital?
She frowned, then returns her to Nabiki. "Yes, I am. Please, pick me
up and place me on your shoulder." Nabiki looked at her for a second,
before picking the pad up and placed it on her shoulder.
Joel: Navi wants to do her cabbit impression.
Navi closed her eyes and with a soft click, clamps grab into Nabiki�s
shirt.
Tom <Navi>: You won't be needing this...
Mike: Just what Nabiki needs, Navi replicating a DeathWand BFG on her
shoulder.
As she opened her eyes again, Navi smiled at Nabiki. "Now lets see.
Nabiki Tendo. Age 17... High adaptation index. Hmm. Priestess Level
aptitude in Water magic... wow." Navi looked over at Nabiki.
Tom: By the Gods, she's Sailor Neptune!
Crow: I bet the Red Dragons have a spot laid out for you, Nabiki.
Mike <Navi>: Oooh! You also have amazing mental prowess and a zen
master's control over body! You can float through space and time
without breaking a sweat! You have the ability to shoot red beams
from
your eyes and your super-hard Adamantium skeleton cannot be broken!
Joel: Pathological liar tricorders were the best practical jokes in the
23rd century...
"Now let's look over this contract before we have Ranma Sign it?"
Nabiki raised her eyebrow at Navi's appraisal of her then she
smiled.
"Sure."
Crow <Navi>: Firstly, I don't believe contracts printed on "Hello
Kitty" stationary are legally binding...
Mike <Navi>: And about clause #149-B, "Bonbons", that's highly
unacceptable.
Joel <Navi>: And your name is NOT Alistair McCrawley!
-----------
Crow: Speaking of signing contracts...
Joel: By this time, Akane's body had swelled up to about three times
its original size. Carp had taken to swimming through her open mouth
and residing inside...
Tom: Eh, quick cameo, good money. She got off easy in this fic.
Nabiki looked down at the contract sitting on the table before her.
"There. Done. I think we got it right."
Mike <Nabiki>: Your way, right away.
Tom <Nabiki>: Hell, if Jim Carrey can make up $20 million dollar
contracts, it can't be hard to draft my own!
Navi blinks, and then turns to look at Nabiki's head. "I think so
to. This should prevent any signer of the contract from taking
advantage of Ranma of Vice Versa.
Joel: Navi's shifting time before our very eyes.
Crow: Okay. Got it. "Contract". It's already been filed away as
"plot point". Now what?
Tom: Judge Reinhold isn't going to appear in this fic, is he?
And get them out of the contract. Now." she grins. "Could you take me
off and splash me with some cold water? I need to be human to sign."
Crow [holds up a sign reading, "Speak for yourself!"]
Mike: Anyone care to comment on the brilliance of introducing water to
circuitry?
Tom: I'm still curious as to how this contract is enforcable.
Nabiki grinned, and removed Navi�s physical form. Placing it on the
floor, she poured a nearby glass of water onto it. An instant later,
Navi is sitting before her, human and in a form-fitting bodysuit.
Joel: Gee, that was convenient. Mind showing that trick to Ryouga,
Mousse, and Shampoo?
"I'll go Get Ranma and Kasumi."
Tom: <Navi as Tor Johnson> Then Lobo tell them TIME FOR GO TO BED!!!
Navi shook the water out of her hair. "Thank Nabiki!" she chirped,
then pulled a dress out of Shunt Space and proceeded to put it on.
Mike: "Shunt" space?
Joel: Thank goodness George Carlin isn't writing this.
Tom: Oh, wow! She's storing trains back there!
Walking over to the unconscious panda, she calmly poured the glass of
scalding hot water she picked up from the table. She grinned evilly,
as he woke up screaming.
Mike: Genma, Genma, Genma... when will you learn that you cannot
control
the inserted characters?
Tom: All you hafta do, Panda buddy, is GO FIND HAPPOSAI. Sick him on
her. Watch the fun with some popcorn.
Crow: That would be assuming Happi hasn't been written into an impotent
old man...
Joel: Fighting-wise, you mean.
Crow: Of course.
"Did you have a nice nap, Genma?"
Genma glared at Navi. "No You Machine b****!" He growled, standing
up and walking inside.
Joel: This is the true rage against the machine.
Crow: Come on, Genma, go AFTER her! Get some hot water and a sledge!
And ENGAGE THOSE KIDS LIKE A MAN!!
Akane, woken by Genma�s scream, blushed at Genma�s language.
Tom: <Akane> Oh my!
Crow: <Kasumi> Hey! Watch your f***ing mouth around my little sister,
s***head!
Navi noticed this and approached her. "Oh. Hi! Sorry about Ryoga
tossing you into the pond. But you did launch an unprovoked attack."
Mike <Akane>: No I haffent! Zis attack wahs provoked! The
zzzzituation demanded blitzkrieg!
Joel: By the way, Akane, you're dead. Or at least you should be,
seeing as how you've been attempting to float in the koi pond for the
better part of forty-five minutes...
"I was just trying to keep the pervert from taking advantage of my
sisters. Thinking he can just waltz in here and take the dojo...
HMPH!"
Crow: The dojo shall NEVER be given for any less than a flashdance!
Tom <Ranma>: And-a one two three, one two three... yoink!
Akane started to stomp into the house, but Navi grabbed her arm.
Mike <Navi>: Wipe yer feet or back to de fishies y' go!
Crow: Remember, Akane! It's a two-buck cover!
She looked at Akane and her Aura. "Hmm... Akane? Tell me, do you
practice anything Goes?" Akane nodded.
Joel <Navi>: If I hum the first few bars, can you fake it?
"Thought so. Here�s a strange fact.
Mike <Navi>: Wombats are neither bat nor wom!
Tom <Navi>: Gutting a cat will produce enough for three tennis rackets
and a viola!
Crow: Annnnd... HIT IT!
All: [singing] SO-di-uh um, so-ho-di-uhium...
Practitioners of Anything Goes attract trouble and curses like fly�s
are to a corpse." With a sigh, Navi let go of Akane.
Tom: Like Akane is now? I suppose the waterflies can get 'er...
Crow <Akane>: What the heck are you talking about? My life's been
pretty tame until you bozos showed up...
"And you have three.
Mike: Actually, four curses. You didn't count the panda.
Minor ones, but I think you should come along when go to the Shinto
Shrine in a few days." Navi then walked past Akane and into the house.
Tom <Navi, singing>: A little bit of Rei Hino in her life, a little bit
of holy fire through her side; a little bit of Scout action's what she
needs, a little bit of sleepin's good for me! Uh-huh!
Mike: Mambo go-ban.
Akane stood there for a few seconds, blinking. Then she shruged and
followed Navi into the house.
Crow <Akane>: I didn't just imagine that, did I?
Mike: The effects of Akane's food, clearly demonstrated here.
Joel: This has been a test. Had you REALLY been ingesting Akane's
food, you wouldn't have experienced the previous fever dream,
including such OOC events as Ryouga-Akane violence and Genma bashing.
-----------
Crow: Hey! It's sideways Space Invaders!
Tom: Here, caterpillar caterpillar...
Nabiki walked into the den and glanced over at Ranma and Ryoga
sitting in
Mike <Nabiki>: Can't you cursed Jusens read the signs? No serving your
type here!
Joel, Tom <Ranma, Ryouga>: Hell no, we won't go! Feed us now or we'll
stay some mo'!
Mike <Nabiki>: Hokay, that's it. Send in the cats, Kasumi! And fetch
the hose!
front of the TV, engaged in a war over the remote, the TV changing
back and forth from Skysaber to Slayers as the two fought.
Tom: And when Ranma's head started to spin 360 degrees, the room fell
silent...
Mike: Is Skysaber anything like Strider crossed with Star Wars?
Trying to restrain a giggle, she walked over to the TV and turned it
off. "Okay boys, we finished the contract so head back into the
dinning room.
Crow <Nabiki>: Heehee, the 'little pink bunny jammies with feeties'
rider was sheer genius!
Mike <Ryouga>: Exclusive image rights? Huh?
Tom <Ranma>: HEY! WHERE'S MY SIGNING BONUS?!
I'll wake Kasumi."
With a grin, Ranma stood up. Ryoga followed.
Tom <Ryouga>: Ooh, we'd love to wake Kasumi up!
Crow <Ranma>: Who'd want that stupid Akane anyway?
Nabiki watched them walk out, then leaned down next to Kasumi.
"Kasumi... time to wake up." She whispered.
Mike <Nabiki>: We pumped your stomach twice, just to make sure...
Moments later, Kasumi's eyes fluttered open "Nabiki. I just had the
Strangest Dream... a young woman turned into a machine." Looking up at
Nabiki's grin, she frowned. "It wasn't a Dream. Was it."
Crow <Kasumi>: Tamahome, Tasuki, Hotohori.... it wasn't a dream?
Tom <Nabiki>: Uhh, actually sis...
Crow <Kasumi>: IT WASN'T, DAMMIT! IT WAS NO DREAM! IT REALLY
HAPPENED.... [starts crying].
"Nope. But don't worry. Navi is just like us, despite being a
machine. If abet a little Weird."
Joel: The ifabet? Must be the set of letters the pygmies use in their
writing.
Crow <Nabiki>: Other than running on silicone chips and needing free
electrons in order to survive, instead of our carbon base, she's just
like us!
Nabiki reacheed for her sisters hand to help her up.
"Now, let's go, I wrote up a contract to get us out of this
engagement."
Mike: Their answer? All three sisters will marry among themselves.
Crow <Nabiki>: This is the only way, Kasumi! Now let me help you with
your tuxedo...
Kasumi nodded, and got up. The two then proceed to the dinning room.
Joel: Where, of course, there was random panda screeches, Navi
screaming attacks, Akane getting beat to within an inch of her life,
Ranma's yelling, and Ryouga's pining for Kasumi.
Tom <Nabiki>: Why don't we regather all these people in the dining
room, that might be a bit more friendlier...
------
Mike: In a decidedly more interesting portion of the Ranmaverse...
Ryoga glared at Ranma. "I still say Skysaber is better then that
Stupid Fantasy show of yours."
Joel <Ranma>: Shut up, man! I'm gonna be the next American Idol, I
swear!
Still grinning, Ranma just humphed at this. "I know... I Like
Skysaber also. I just want to see if I can�t figure out how the Lina
Character in 'that stupid fantasy show' cast her Spells."
Tom: Oooh, you can learn those things by watching TV? I wanna know how
to call the Voltron vehicles!
Crow: I'm gonna make my own sword and learn the secrets of "By the
Power of Greyskull!"
Joel: I'll study Ozzy Osbourne to see how such a butt-ugly hoarse guy
can make piles of money by singing.
Tom: Well, some secrets will probably stay secret...
"Oh. Hm... Make's sense." Ryoga said as he sat down.
Mike: In a very specious way, sure. It's like looking at the sky to
learn how to fly.
Navi just looked at the two. With a shrug, she turned to Genma and
Soun, who are busy talking, then glanced towards Akane.
Tom <Navi>: Who's due for a dip in the pool now?
Crow <Navi>: Once that egg timer goes off, it's Genma pounding time
again! If only I wasn't in time out!
Akane sits next to Genma, glaring at Ranma. She turns back to Ranma
and placed the contract and a Pen before him.
Crow <Akane>: Here. It's not legally binding, but it'll fool idiots
all day long.
"Ranma. I need you to Sign this before Genma-baka gets any Ideas. It
should get you out of these Engagements of Genma�s. 'Kay?"
Tom <Ranma>: And what if I WANT a hot piece of Tendo ass?
Crow <Akane>: You'll have to settle for daddy's hairy butt then.
Tom <Ranma>: Not a problem. A little cold water, and say hello to
Stepmommy!
Crow: You are a sicko, Tom.
Ranma looked at Navi and smiled. "That sounds good to me!" He said.
Mike <Ranma>: I'd rather get it on with my GPS locator than you three
hags!
Crow: One AM. A monitor is flickering underneath a dartboard pasted
with various anime pictures. The author takes careful aim, saying
"Ranma" as they let go of the projectile... to have the dart pierce
the computer screen. With a sigh the author says, "How can I
plausibly get Ranma to fall in love with electronics? Well, since
Ryouga came up with Kasumi, here we go..."
Then he picked up the contract and gave it a quick glance. He finally
signed it a few second later, though he understood very little of it.
Joel <Ranma>: Buyout dates, issues of reciprocity... what the hell!
And according to section 43-b, with my signature I gave something
called an "estate" to Nabiki... huh.
Picking up the contract and the pen, Navi turned to Nabiki, who had
just sat down next to her. "Okay Nabiki, Kasumi. Your Turn." She
handed it over to them.
Crow <Nabiki>: About stinking time we're selling the farm! No one will
ever miss it!
Grabbing the contract and pen, Nabiki muttered "thanks." and signed
the contract with a smile.
Tom: Underneath, she wrote "Have a nice day!"
Crow: And dotted the i's with cute little hearts.
Mike: She then drew a pair of glasses and some long stringy hair to the
face and declared it done.
She then handed it to her sister, who also signed it. Taking back the
contract, Nabiki turned to her father. "Alright dad, we decided."
Joel <Nabiki>: In five hours the Vogons come. I'd suggest you get in
touch with Ford Prefect... immediately.
Mike <Nabiki>: Number one, we are NOT letting you remarry. Number two,
you're going to shave NOW, mister...
Soun smiled. "Good. I'm sure you�ll agree that Akane and Ranma will
make a good couple! Akane has already fallen for him and I�m sure
Ranma will return her Feeling soon enough."
Crow <Soun>: Receipt not needed!
Joel <Ranma>: Feeling, feeling, I know I packed it around here
somewhere...
Nabiki, Kasumi, Navi, Ryoga, and Ranma all stared at Soun like he
had grown a second, then a third head.
Mike: The Soun devil-face? Now?
Tom: He shouldn't be getting that until they've explained the plot
device to him.
Mike: It's too bad Soun can't go after the real people responsible for
it...
Being the first one to come out of shock, Navi shook her head, then
addressed Soun.
Joel <Navi>: About seventy-five kilos, that should be... 9750 yen. I
should send him "postage due" though.
Crow: Strictly speaking, Navi wouldn't come OUT of shock.
"No. Trust me... that would not be good. Besides.
Tom <Navi>: As we look at the issue in front of us, I'm sure you'll
agree that we've made the correct decision when you look back at it.
On a going forward basis, we've put this whole issue behind us.
Crow: <Ranma as Groucho Marx> Why, a four year old child could
understand this! I just hope I can find one around to explain it
to me!
Ranma and your two other Daughters have Agreed to be engaged to him
till he Turns 18. At that Time, One of the signers of this contract"
Crow: <Nabiki> Okay, that's It! Hold up a sec, everyone! I have To
Address Something here For a Moment... HEY, MR. AUTHOR! Could You
please Fix the Damn shift Key or get A New Keyboard already! All
These random Capital letters Can't be Healthy for The fic....
she waits till Nabiki has held up the contract for the two Father s to
See "will Marry Ranma. Both of them have signed it."
Crow: And so has Ryouga. We didn't come into this theater to read
THAT.
Tom: And so has Navi. We definitely didn't come in here to read THAT.
Mike: Well, sometimes we have no choice...
Looking confused, Soun starts to blubber. "But but..."
"No buts Daddy. From what Navi has told me, Genma should not have
any more control in who Ranma marries. Okay?" Nabiki replied, tilting
her head.
Joel: Any chance of the INS bursting in to capture what really has to
be an illegal alien at this point?
Tom <Nabiki>: And if you do not listen to us, your kids, we will call
upon the mighty spirit of Gamera!
"Humph. He's my son..." Genma grumbled.
Tom <Dark Helmet>: How many Saotomes do we have on this ship anyway?!
Navi looked upwards and sighed. "Let�s see. Stealing the food from
that Vendor In Osaka. Breaking into the Temple, I might say
unsuccessfully, on the outskirts of Osaka. Breaking out from-"
Mike <Navi>: ...that shoddy role in "Blue Streak"...
Tom <Navi>: Urinating in a public place in Osaka. Spitting on the
sidewalk in Osaka. Cooking a cat in Osaka. Making nasty hand
gestures in Osaka...
Crow: How in hell did they ever get to Jusenkyo if they were stuck on
the Pacific side of Japan?
With a look of fear, Genma stared at Navi. "You wouldn�t, would
you..."
She smirked. "But I would... and I got it recorded in Full 3-D too."
Genma quickly deflates.
Joel <Genma>: Crap! Anyone with one eye and half a brain will be able
to identify that panda as me!! Waitaminute.....
Kasumi smiled. Then yawned. "Oh my. It looks like it is getting
late. Would you care to stay the night?" She asked, addressing Ryoga,
Ranma and Navi.
Tom <Ryouga>: Sure, in your bed if I could Kasumi-chan!
Mike <Ranma>: Yeah! Sleepover! Get some cold water and makeup, I'll
get "Legends of the Fall"!
Ryoga smiled at Kasumi. "We would, if it wouldn�t be too much of a
problem?"
Crow <Ryouga>: You have a futon built for two, right?
Joel <Kasumi>: Oh my, I barely fit myself!
Crow <Ryouga>: How about having a special pet then?
"Oh, no... None at all. You and Ranma Can stay in the guest room.
And Navi Can Sleep in Mine."
Crow <Ryouga>: Crap! Can you reconsider?
Joel <Navi>: Maine? I'm not going halfway around the world to sleep!
Oh, "mine"...
Tom: The newest blockbuster from Mary Higgins Clark, about a strange
android-ish girl and her new family...
Mike: "And Navi Can Sleep in Mine" is available at fine bookstores and
Amazon.com.
With a Smile, Kasumi Stood up, and hurried off to prepare the guest
room and pull the old futon out of her closet.
Tom: Revealing Kasumi's secret stash of... POCKY.
Genma looked around the table. "Where am I going to GRowlf?" Growlfs
Genma. He just looked at Navi with a glare.
Joel: Growlf the Mawg, second cousin twice removed to Barf.
Tom: Brother of Janet Reno.
With a giggle, Navi grined at Genma. "I'm sure it will be warm
enough with all your fur to sleep in the Dojo."
Mike: Sheesh. Then get some hot water, pour it all over Navi's fool
head, and let her sleep on the stinkin' dining room table.
Joel: I'm rooting for some sssssserious sunspot action soon.
-------
Crow: If only we could turn that burner on...
Tom: Zeroes and ones are flammable, right?
Ku Lon looked up at the modest sized house she stood in front of.
Mike <Cologne>: Bob Vila, you bastard! Your days of insulating will
last NO LONGER!!
Crow <Cologne, singing>: Our house... is a very very very fine house...
Tom: [singing] In the middle of the street! Our house/ was our castle
and our keep!
"This is the place. Come Shan." She hoped forward to the gate and
knocked.
Tom <Shampoo>: Why we stealing bear's porridge again?
A moment later, a woman with auburn hair answered. "Ah, greetings.
Would you happen to be Nodoka Saotome, wife of Genma Saotome, mother
to Ranma Saotome?"
Crow: Looks more like Angela Lansbury to me.
Nodoka looked at Ku Lon. "Yes, yes I am."
"Ah good. My Great Grand-Daughter has slighted your son and his
friends greatly.
Joel <Nodoka>: Slighted?
Mike <Cologne>: Yes. Look at this group picture. See, she's in the
back, and making bunny ears....
And your husband has done MUCH MUCH more then that also from what I
have learned so far."
Mike <Cologne>: I also brought that evidence.
Joel <Nodoka>: That... that CAD! He's clearly sticking his tongue out
at the camera!! If I ever get my hands on him...
Nodoka sighed. "I was partially expecting this. Would you come in?
I would like to hear more about my son and husband..."
Crow <Nodoka>: So, how have Brad Pitt and my son Freddie Prinze Jr.
been behaving lately?
Tom: Poor woman, she's delusional.
Mike: If you had to see a naked Genma, I'm sure you'd be too.
Joel: So... that was different.
Tom: Definitely! What was the deal with Ryouga coming along and acting
as OOC as he was?
Crow: How much more Genma bashing can the story participate in?
Mike: I still don't buy the whole "contract" plot point. Without
trying to make too many generalities on the legal system over there, I
don't think that's enforcable. And it really takes away from a lot of
the potential humor the original Ranma story had.
Joel: Well guys, count your lucky stars. In the title header for this,
it mentioned a crossover with El-Hazard...
Crow: Oh yeah, let's scratch that scab open! What was the deal with
Navi? Where did the Saotomes find such hardware and why is she such
an insufferable character now that she is sentient?
Tom: So where does that lead?
Crow: I'll tell you! More in-character characters! More craziness!
Less wrapping up of plot-points for no good reason!
Tom: More plausibility! Less pushy new characters that we don't even
know anything about! And finally...
All: NO POOFTAHS!
---Satellite of Love
Mike entered the bridge wearing a red Chinese shirt and black pants,
while Crow followed him sporting a yellow-and-black bandanna. "How
much farther are we walking tonight, Ryouga?" Mike asked. "It feels
like it's been three weeks since we were at Jusenkyo..."
Crow opened his mouth to speak but was alerted by a loud noise from
the right. Suddenly, Joel ran across the bridge area dressed in a
panda suit as Tom Servo, outfitted in a pink jumpsuit and with a HUGE
glowing orange ball nestled in one of his spring arms chased him.
"You f***ing b****! I'm gonna get you!" Joel yelled as he ran full-
bore offstage.
Mike laughed. "You're supposed to use a sign, pops! You're a panda
now!"
"Navi HATES the big panda!" came the cry from offstage.
Mike looked at Crow and both burst out laughing. "I guess we're
walking all night, Ranma," Crow replied. The red light started
flashing. "Oh good, I notice you've made a fire. Might need some warm
water for travelling, you never know when we'll need it," Crow
remarked.
Mike hit the button. "You rang, Zaphod?"
---Deep Thirteen
Dr Forrester, green glasses restored, and Frank were both sitting on
the couch. Joel's Commercial Avenger invention was sitting on top of a
1970's vintage set, complete with rabbit ears. Dr. F had the controls
of the Commercial Avenger, and was laughing hysterically. So was
Frank.
"Let's see what the gecko does when you rip off its tail again!"
Frank gasped.
"Yeah! Stupid Geico commercials, you never deliver what you
promise! Cheaper rates my butt!" the television speakers blared. A
ripping sound came from the television... then the sound of
flatulence... and then, both Mads were on the ground rolling around in
gales of laughter.
Dr. F barely caught his breath as he looked at Frank. "We're on,
Frank! Why don't you just hit the button now? HEEEHEEEEHEEE..."
--POOF!--
o/~ "Na na na-a-ah, na na, na NA na..."
All comments and criticism about this MST will be gratefully
appreciated and accepted at: zoogz@yahoo.com
For all of you that think I've abandoned online life... you were
half-right. I finally finished my education, netting a BBA in
international business. Finding employment was the next challenge and
after nearly going insane, I'm on decently level ground. ^^ The only
other hurdle has been overcome; typing MSTs with a baby in one arm is a
great challenge. At least in this author's opinion, it should be tried
at least once. Thanks to all you folks out there who read this stuff,
I do enjoy writing it immensely.
I especially thank Megane 6.7 for all of the help that he has
provided me in this project, including all of the riffs he's
contributed and also the assistance with ideas (and even some writing)
that he has given me. His newest MST, "Ranma's Revenge", will be
posted very shortly along with this piece at: http://www.nabiki.com/mst
Still to be completed is the Battle Royale MST and two or three half-
completed MSTs I've been doodling around with for a while. I'm still
snail-slow, but also doing some straight fanfic soon (hopefully).
Special thanks to:
Teachers of America (and the world!)
The Authors of the 1st Amendment
Best Brains
As the sphere hit, he was engulfed in a huge ball of flames and fell
down to the ground, landing in a smoking, charred heap in the koi
pond.
An unconscious panda surfaced a moment later. She draged it out and
started kicking him viciously in the side, cursing the whole time.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics...
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