Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Wed, 21 Aug 2002 17:06:59 -0400 Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@email.psu.edu>
wrote:
Hotaru giggled wildly as Ranma carried her through the air over
Juuban's rooftops. The first time he carried her through the air she
had been terrified. Even the second time, after they had made love, she
had been apprehensive, but now she was free of her fears. Ranma would
never drop her, so she {best : could : had best} enjoy the ride, and enjoy it she did.
Hotaru cracked open her eyes to take a look at the surroundings. They
were on top of what looked like an apartment building, a tall one. The
view wasn't bad{: ,} but she would rather be flying.
Ranma looked at Hotaru seriously. "No, I ain't kiddin'. The girl {could
burn : has burnt} water." He paused for a moment than added, "I swear, if it wasn't
for Shampoo and Ucchan she'd already have killed me."
He gazed over to her. They hadn't spoken for several blocks, since her
last rest. She was starting to look unnerved, and apprehensive. She
probably thought he was going to reject her {as : like} she had been for most of
her life. He knew now what he must do. Time to build up her confidence.
Hotaru giggled. "It wasn't by that far. Here, I'll show you," said
Hotaru as she began {: walking} towards her friends house.
"Nothin' permanent{: .}" It was then that Ranma {: noticed} that Hotaru {: had} stopped. Looking
at the house in front of him he asked, "This it?"
Ikuko coughed and stood up {strait : straight}. "Where are my manners..." She turned
to Ranma {: , bowed,} and said, "I am Tsukino Ikuko, and welcome to my home."
Ikuko quickly led the teens to the Tsukino {home and exited : livingroom then went} to the
kitchen to get some tea. Both Hotaru and Ranma sat down at the table.
Ranma smiled to himself. This didn't feel too bad. He was meeting her
friends. Maybe he should introduce Hotaru to his friends one of {theses : these}
days.
Ranma's train of thought was interrupted {: as : when} Chibi-Usa was heard coming
down the steps, asking "Aunt Ikuko, do we have visitors?"
He trembled with terror as the deadly predator stalked up behind the
purple haired woman, its lithe body flexing, ready to kill. Its deadly,
vorpal claws prepared to rend flesh from bone. Its evil, glowing eyes
burning with hate and malice. Then it hunched back, and opened its maw
to expose its flesh ripping, razor sharp teeth and voice its horrible,
soul chilling battle cry...
I'm sure Usagi has often felt that way about Luna. Especially when Luna's
trying to get her to do her homework.
I scanned the previous chapters; Neko-ken hasn't come up before which
means no one present will have a clue about how to deal with it. This
should really impress the Tsukinos.