Sorry it took me a while to get to this:

 Catbert: I don't normally do this.
Dilbert: Do what?
Catbert: Help people.


Me? Giving public C&C?

Well, if you must. :)

Snipped some parts where I couldn't think of anything witty to say.

 A bit less humor this time out:

That's mah line, boy! ^_-

I've been looking for a proper piece to provide C&C for,
and, quite frankly, I haven't found it

..> Your stuff's too good. Read through it and couldn't find much

of anything wrong with it. So, I'll be giving a review and commentary

You know, I like that one. I'll have to remember it the next time someone
tries to pester me for C+C. "You'r stuff's too good.'

I'm sure you're crushed, shocked, and bewildered by all this. ^_-

It has been said that everyone has a different review style. Well,
here's mine. Prepare yourself!

No prob.

 The Things We Wish For...

"Can I have a bloated wombat for Christmas, Daddy? Please?
Pretty please?!"

You know, you might have the right idea there to the rest of that title.

 Chapter 4

Funny how you manage to churn these chapters--at a very good
quality, I might add--out while I'm stuck at one chapter every
couple of months...

It's not really any better than my usual rate. These chapters are about half
of what I usually post. It only seems like I'm writing quicker, but I'm not.

Just goes to show ya, everyone has a different inspiration
rate as well.

Stefan Gagne's Slayers trilogy. Now THAT was a quick piece
of great work there...

Still have to finish that. I did the first arc and never got around to
finishing it. And I loved it so much too. Got to meet the man himself
recently as well, which should be all the more motivation to complete it.

At the opposite end of the speed spectrum: Zen. Everyone loves Zen.
I like Zen. He's funny. ^_^

He once told me that since I wasn't going to be able to complete a chapter
of a fic right away, he wasn't going to hurry the C+C on the previous
chapter that came out before. Three years later, and I'm still waiting for
the C+C. ^_^

Hmm. I wonder if I can hold the fic for ransom. "I'll do another chapter of
Should Old Acquiantance if Zen coughs up the C+C for chapter one.' That way
I can blame Zen instead of myself if anyone bugs me about not working more
on it.

 Larry F's new address at:
 http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/

<plug> That's a REALLY nice site there!!! </plug> ^_^

Heh. You're as bad as I am, making other people post your stuff on webpages
rather than going through the hassle of doing it yourself. :)

 And also Angcobra is now storing all of my fics, at
 http://dbsommer.web1000.com/dbsommer.html

The more sites the fanfics are located on, the better chance
of getting it seen!

Yep. Although I've also had a problem with the webpages disappearing over
time. I'm trying to hedge my bets by having at least one site functioning at
any given time. :)

Except fanfic.net. For some reason, I'd feel a bit edgy
putting my stuff on fanfic.net. I don't quite know why...

It's nice if you like breif comments on stuff, but almost no one goes into
any detail there.

 Standard Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to any of the Ranma 1/2
 characters. They belong to Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights

to.

Think they're still going to do new adaptations and movies, or
are they pretty much done with what they've got?

They've moved on to bigger and better things.

 Preface: What's happened before: Akane got her hands on a wish and used

it

 to wish her mother had never been in a car accident and was alive in

the

 present. Well, her mother wasn't in an accident, and is with them in

the

 present, there's only the slight complications that she's there at the

ripe

 old age of seventeen...

That would mean that she was, perhaps, fourteen or thirteen when she gave
birth to Kasumi. Gosh...

Perhaps I didn't skim through the previous chapters thoroughly enough.
Maybe the Kachiko they got back was before all that...

Yep. She didnt' become young. She was plucked out of time when she was 17
years of age. So she's a seventeen year old as virgin as the pristine snow.
:)

 xxxxxxxxxxxx

It can't be THAT sharply rated, can it? ^_^

I always get that about my x's. And no, it isn't. Only my "Problems' trilogy
would get that kind of rating.

 The muscles in Akane's back woke up in protest.

Muscles(with signs and marching around): UNFAIR! UNFAIR! UNFAIR!
(flag burning, starvation protests, etc.)

Nah. They just pull knives and give her a stabbing pain back there. :)

 floor, even with the tatami mat underneath her. It was beyond her how

Ranma

 could have lived on the road for so long and subjected himself to

sleeping

 in that kind of discomfort.

Ranma(blinks): You mean it's not normal to sleep in the freezing rain on

the

rocky craggs of mainland China? (glares at Genma) Pop!

Heh

The next time Akane went shopping, she would
 have to purchase some additional padding for the mat he used on the

floor.

Akane? Being nice? There was a time that fanfic writers thought she was
nothing more than a heartless mallet-wielding monster...

while others portrayed her as a saint. If they admitted she had flaws, they
were quickly done away with in a page or two. And still others portrayed her
in varying degrees between the two extreme. It's still pretty much the same
today.

 Now fully awake, Akane took in her surroundings. She was in Kasumi's

room.

Little did she know, when she took a step toward the mirror, that she WAS
Kasumi!

No Miyuki-chan in Wonderland please. :P

 During the night, Soun and Genma, conducting one of their bizarre

experiments, had swapped her brain with Kasumi's, and to make matters
worse, a memory transfer device had been employed to switch their memories
as well. So, Kasumi, with Akane's body and knowledge, walked outside to

wreak

havok upon the world...

Hmm. That's almost as bad as the age-old pun, "Oh no! Someone broke into
our house and replaced everything with exact duplicates!" ^_^

Heh.

 Now that she thought about it, she had never slept in it before. The

handful

 of times they had guests, or Akane's room had been rendered

uninhabitable

 due to everything from leaks to termite infestation, she had slept in
 Nabiki's room rather than Kasumi's.

Considering that the alternative would be Soun's room or the Dojo... or
the guest room.

Pretty much.

It was probably because they were
 closest to one another in age.

Nah. Nabsy's just worse at bargaining with her father than Kasumi. ^_^

Heh

Of course, the last time had been over four
 years ago, and Nabiki had changed enough since then that Akane felt

more

 comfortable staying in Kasumi's bedroom.

Wow... Background information that makes everything feel so much more
real.

Gotta have reality, so we can bash it to pieces in the next few
paragraphs. Ahh, tricks of the trade! ^_^

True, but as humor oriented as it is, we do try to give some seriousness to
the fic.

Sleeping in the same room with
 someone who had a bad tendency to sell compromising pictures of their

sister

 for pocket change was never a good idea.

Unless, of course, you can blackmail Nabiki for royalties...

But that's the Otakufic solution. Anyone'd groan at that. ^_^

Yep

 But the feel to Kasumi's room, as pleasant as it was, still made Akane
 uncomfortable.

Maybe it was all the pink frills, or all the ChuChu plushies...

Or maybe it was the Bubblegum Crisis and Shin Seiki Evangelion
posters... Why would Kasumi have such a fixation on Quincy,
Dark Schneider, and Ikari Gendo, anyway?

Heh. Now that I don't think I've ever seen.

Of course, concessions had to be made with her mother returned to them,
 and because it was Akane's wish that had set the events in motion

(although

 now that she thought about it, Kasumi bore some responsibility in the

matter

 since it had been her suggestion to wish for their mother back), it

only

 made sense she had to give up her room, but it didn't make her sore

back

 feel any better.

Oh, sure, blame Kasumi for having your mom back. ^_^

Kasumi was the one that said she would wish for her mother back.

 "Why can't she just get back together with Dad the way she was before

she

 died?" Akane grumbled.

Akane, just find some of those age-switching mushrooms and that'll solve
all your problems. Whether ya make Kachi older or Soun younger, that's
your choice.

One good plot device deserves another. ^_^

But that would be too easy. This fic isn't meant to be a one shot, after
all.

As it was, her mother was causing far more trouble
 than even the usual visitor to the Tendou household, which was doubly

vexing

 since her presence should have made everything better instead of worse.

But it is better!

...

If ya count that you've got everyone together now. Sure, there's all
sorts of problems, but that's family life! Surely it was noisier and
messier back before Kachi died, what with all the lil' ones running
around and causing mayhem.

A life without problems is a life without meaning. ^_^

But Akane already has enough problems. Life has too much meaning already, as
far as she's concerned.

 But there was no way around it. Kachiko Tendou had returned, all of one

year

 older than Akane, and there was simply going to have to be a period of
 adjustment.

That's the spirit, Akane! You can take it!!!

That's the idea.

Oh, but what an adjustment they were undergoing.

Keeping Kachiko out of Akane's wardrobe has GOT to be a challenge. ^_^

Nope. She already tried Akane's clothing and none of the bottoms fit.
Akane's hips are too wide.

Akane just
 hoped Kachiko returned to normal soon.

Normal is such an interesting term. All things considered, it's
always normal, and yet constantly changing...

Back to the status quo? Not too hard. Ranma 1/2 was a pretty stable
continuity, along with Love Hina and many others. It'll take 'em
one--perhaps two volumes. ^_^

True.

 Shooting a glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand,

The alarm clock wheezed an fell over when the glance penetrated its
heart, and it made an overly melodramatic show of falling down,
holding a bouquet of roses to its face.

Oh, fine, make this a darkfic by killing things like Time. :P

It was getting late, and she had to get going. Throwing an extra
 bathrobe of Kasumi's over her nightgown, Akane headed toward the bath.

Good idea, the bathrobe. Wouldn't want to walk into the bathroom
and find out that the girl that says she's your mom is really
Pantyhose Tarou in disguise.

She's not. You did seem to have a fixation on that idea for a while, though.

 Living in a house with two sisters and three other men meant making a

sort

 of unofficial schedule for when people could make use of the bath in

the

 mornings.

And anyone who violated said bathing schedule got put to the mallet!

Akane: WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?!!?
Unfortunate one: Why didn't you knock?!

Heh.

Kasumi was always the first up and finished with it before anyone,
 so that was never a problem.

Or so everyone thinks--they never actually _see_ her coming out of
the bathroom. She's really a sinister robot from another dimension,
you know.

It would make sense. She was sent to destroy the world, but a glitch in her
Microsoft programming made her think she was suppose to clean rather than
destroy.

Nabiki was second, with Akane third, and the
 men in some other order.

Genma: Out of the way, boy! My turn! (tosses Ranma out of the furo)

Heh. It was meant to show she didn't really care enough to note what order
the men went in.

Right about now Nabiki should be finishing up and
 Akane would have free reign for half an hour.

Nope! Now your bathing time's split in half. Unless, of course,
ya wanna share with Kachi.

And thus we come upon the next scene.

 Upon opening the door to the bath, Akane learned otherwise.

"SWEETO!!"

*GLOMP!!!*

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Nah. He had his chance in the prologue and hasn't been seen since. :)

 "Move over."

"Oh yeah?! Red rover, red rover, let mommy move over!!!"

Sounds like a kinky lemon.

 "No, you move over. I was here first."

"First!? Well, I was here second!"

Cute.

 "Oh, please. You might get Daddy and the others to roll over for you,

but

 that's not going to work on me."

*CHK-CHK!* "I said move OVER! Unless you wanna go back to the

afterlife!!!"

"Sheesh, you're awfully picky about bathtime..."

"I summoned you, and I can destroy you just as easily!"

"All right, all right. I'm not some zombie queen, you know."

"Really? Then what's with the undead things hanging around outside?"

"Those are just my fan club!"

"Fan club. Right."

Nah. This version of her hasn't been dead yet, at least from her
perspective.

 "Go use the furo and let me brush."

Compromise, Akane! You've done it before!

It's not Akane who's protesting. It's Nabby.

Both were armed with toothbrushes
 and jostling for position next to the sink. "Can't you two just share

it?"

Sharing isn't in their nature. Fighting is. It's genetic. ^_^

Heh. Yep.

"Not not not not!"

"Too too too too!!!"

Nabiki breathed a sigh of relief. Things were getting back to exactly
how she remembered them.

Heh

 "Those sources wouldn't happen to be my pockets, would they?"

"What do you take me for? A common thief?" Kachiko tried to hide
what she'd recently filched in a nearby drawer.

Heh. Close. She does evade answering the question.

 "Oh ho! As though someone who would rent clothing to her destitute

mother

 has the right to accuse her of stealing as well. And by the way, you

don't

 have a job, so what's your source of income, besides shaking down time
 traveling parents, hmm? Maybe I should be the one accusing you of doing
 something wrong."

"I'm just doing what you taught me, Mommy!"

"Do as I say, not as I do!"

"Hypocrite."

"You're just BEGGIN' for a spanking, aren't you?"

Might even get one before it's over. And it'll certainly be in the lemon
side story I'm never  going to write.

 Akane was chilled by just how alike the two girls were, shooting cold

glares

 at one another.

Like mother, like daughter? Think about it, won't you?

That's the idea, not that either of the participants would appreciate the
comparison.

We can all get along.

"Can't we all just... get along!?"

I avoided that one.

(whistles) Things must be getting pretty bad in the Ranmaverse for
someone to plead for everyone to just get along...

Well, yes, this time out anyway.

We're just under a little pressure from all the
 changes we've undergone over the last few days.

Indeed, the gauge on the wall had risen several notches
since Kachiko's return.

Well, she's more than your average guest. :)

We have to make concessions
 until we can learn to live under the same roof."

"Peanuts! Popcorn! Milk duds!"

"Not those kinds of concessions!"

Ohh. Bad pun. Me like.

She turned to Nabiki. "Why
 don't you let Mom have the sink first, just like you would a guest?

Later on

 we'll discuss who should get the bath second tomorrow and everything

will

 run a lot more smoothly."

"Oh, well, if you want to SOLVE the problem, fine!"

Reasonable suggestion are avoided like the plague.

 Kachiko gave a hard, affectionate slap to Akane's back.

'Least it wasn't to 'er rump, eh?

Again, lemon side story titled 'Incest really is the best.'

"Yeah, listen to
 your younger, and far more respectful, sister. She knows the proper way

to

 treat house guests. I can tell who my favorite child is going to be."

(ding-ding-ding!) Let the competition for affection begin!

Kasumi will win. She always wins. ^_^

Nah. Akane's got the inside line at the moment.

 Akane shifted uncomfortably under the grip. Even coming from someone

that

 was only seventeen, the words had an odd, almost pleasing, effect on

her.

Dear ol' mom, at any age, has got to be a great help.

Except, of course, for the rebellious teenagers. Then again, Kachi IS
a rebellious teenager...

Ironic, isn't it?

 The words seemed to stir Kachiko in some way as well, and she hurriedly
 removed her hand from Akane's shoulder. Turning back to Nabiki, she

said,

 "All I need to do is finish brushing anyway and then you can have the

sink.

 In fact, I'll show you my Ultra-Quick Brushing Style."

The argument took fifteen minutes and the brushing took two. Go figure.

^_^

Just like when people search fifteen minutes for a missing remote for the TV
when they could just get up and change the channel instead. :)

 Nabiki said, "No thanks. I don't need to learn how to brush my teeth

from

 you yet again."

"Oh yeah!?" Kachiko stuffed a mushroom down Nabiki's throat. "Heh. NOW
ya do, Chibi-biki!"

"WAAAH!"

That would be evil.

 "Hey! Give me that back. I don't want your germs all over it."

Mommie cooties! Eeew! ^_^

 "Relax. I've only got one cold sore, so there's nothing to worry

about."

_< I HATE cold sores.

Heh.

 Kachiko brandished the toothbrushes in hand, as though there were

stubby

 daggers of death rather than bristly tools of oral hygiene. "Once,

during

 the long and difficult journeys of my youth, I discovered a lost temple

in

 the Himalayas. It was there that I conquered its ancient guardian and
 discovered this ancient Indian technique of the obscure, and dangerous

art

 known as Brush Fu."

Excellent delivery. No complaints whatsoever. ^_^

Thanks.

 "You made that up," Nabiki said.

Not in the Ranmaverse, she didn't!

Yep. Silly martial arts abound.

 "I did not!" Kachiko insisted. And it was the truth. Of course, she had

been

 in India because of a school field trip, rather than some exotic

training

 journey.

And she learned peaceful forms of very deadly martial arts from the Ghandi
clan...

I assure you, Kachi laughs at the' inherently flawed premise of ulitmate
pacificsm'. ^_^

And she hadn't exactly found the temple on her own. It was on a map
 Wakaba had given her that listed the temple as being in the deepest,

highest

 part of the Himalayas.

Okay, I get it. Soun wasn't the mastermind behind the Tendo school of
martial arts. Kachiko was and Soun just sort of picked a few things
up. ^_^

Then again, maybe Soun knows more than he lets on about. Like Yoda
or something. ^_^

No. Not here. :)

Although for some reason the map failed to mention
 that the path was prone to avalanches, the constant temperatures were

well

 below zero, the freak snowstorms were bad enough to cause even the

Sherpas

 to shun it, and that numerous tribes of carnivorous Yetis frequented

the

 area.

Not to mention all the would-be pokemon trainers on the way...

Now you are just being silly. :)

 master of the temple consenting to teach Kachiko the ancient technique

of

 Brush Fu in return for leaving him alone. When Kachiko returned, Wakaba

had

 been so relieved that she broke down and cried hard enough that she had

 to

 be sedated.

That was a good delivery. Had it included any fewer sentences, you could
not have possibly sold it and it would've looked bad for Kachi, but with
what you've got, it has just the right level of absurdity.

Thanks.

 "Observe the pinnacle of what one thousand years of training  in the

art of

 brushing can achieve!" Kachiko loaded up the brushes with toothpaste

until

 it was falling off the sides, then brought them up to her teeth. She

smiled

 once for the girls, then went to work.

*VRRRRR-VRRRRRRRR!!!* Sounds like a blender or dentist's drill. ^_^

Dont' make me shudder. I hate dentist's drills.

 air itself vibrate. The smell of fluoride filled the air, and even

Nabiki

 raised an eyebrow at the amount of white foam that began to drip for
 Kachiko's mouth.

I see Kachi didn't deign to show the bigger techniques to Soun.

She couldn't. By the time she met him, she was crippled and had abadonend
martial arts.

 And as suddenly as it started, the brushing stopped.

And the room was still intact? Amazing. I imagine things got strewn
about a bit...

Nah. it's not an area effect thing.

 "I think she's choking on one of the brushes," Nabiki said casually.

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! ^_^

Good follow-up. Good follow-up.

Thanks.

 "You owe me a new toothbrush." Nabiki decided she would skip the

brushing

 today and started to clean herself off before heading for the furo.

Better than cleaning herself off after soaking in the furo for a while...

Yep. Quite improper that way.

 "What kind of a stupid technique was that?" Akane said.

Yeah, the Heimlich Maneuver IS quite a stupid-looking technique, but
you can't argue with the results.

Hehehehe.

 "Told you... It was... Dangerous. Only a true... Master... Can use such
 techniques... Safely," Kachiko gasped out.

All the more reason to try and master it!!!! A martial artist's life
is fraught with peril! ^_^

Ranma certainly would try to learn it. Might have him try later.

 "I have enough dangerous things going on in my life without adding

brushing

 to it," Akane said firmly.

No, she doesn't. She needs to be kidnapped by the Tooth Fairy before
she can say that.

Heh.

 "A true martial artist... Fears nothing," Kachiko rasped out, along

with a

 good quantity of foam. She wiped her mouth off with a towel, leaving a

huge

 quantity of foam on it, and headed for the door to the bathroom.

Huge and good quantity of foam... I'd recommend an alternate term for foam
and for quantity. How about 'amount' and 'froth?'

I dropped the second reference to it altogether. It works better that way.

 "Mom," Akane protested.

 "What?"

"Can I marry Ranma?"

"Absolutely not! *I'm* going to marry him."

"Dang it... MAMA NO BAKA!" *WHAM!*

Heh

 other guys being around. Dad used to be the only other man here, and I

liked

 prancing around in my underwear because he thought it was so improper.

He

 was so uptight it was really annoying. He never let me do anything that
 wasn't absolutely 'proper' for a woman. Be happy your old man isn't

that

 strict. Of course's he's way more perverted than my Father is, still, I
 think you've got the better end of the deal." Kachiko exited the room.

Of course, that's sort of understandable, considering who Soun's master
was. ^_^

Well, maybe just a little.

 "Today's shaping up to be a wonderful day."

Either that was sarcasm, or if it wasn't, she just jinxed it. ^_^

It was sarcasm. I cleared that up in a revision.

 Akane entered and saw everyone but Kachiko was already present at the

table.

 She smiled at Ranma and walked over to take her usual position between

him

 and his father. As she sat down, she found the floor unexpectedly lumpy

and

 warm.

So she jumped up and down to squish it until it got comfortable again! ^_^

Heh.

 "Damnit, you're too big for my lap! Get off!"

"Back, back, down, down, mine, mine! Mwa-hahhahahahahaha!!!"

Not a far cry from the truth there. :)

 Akane nearly jumped in the air. She turned to see her mother had

somehow

 been quick and agile enough to contort herself into the position

between

 Ranma and Genma even as Akane had been in the process of sitting down.

A low

 growl issued from Akane at what had just happened.

Kachiko's purposefully trying to anger Akane, isn't she?

No. Kachi had to move quick. She was just late in getting to the dinner
table.

 Kasumi cleared her throat. She said to Kachiko, "There's a space next

to

 Father."

Gotta get 'er acclimated again.

Kachi: Not bloody likely.

 "Good." Kachiko responded, then said to Akane. "There you go. Plenty of

room

 over there."

Kasumi smiled harder and cleared her throat. *CHK-CHK!* "I SAID: There's
a space next to Father."

Kachiko stared at the gun, wondering how her eldest daughter had gotten
so fast at pulling out firearms. "You'd shoot me? Are there even any
bullets?"

"Mother, the question is not how many bullets there are, or if there are.
The question is: do you feel lucky?"

Heh

 As breakfast was served, everyone directed their attention to the

newcomer

 at the table, who seemed oblivious to it for the most part as she

accepted

 some food.

And, naturally, the new character is a superior martial artist when it
comes to eating...

Nope. Genma outmanuvers her.

Shouldn't it be the typical free-for-all here? (Unfortunately, I'm one
of those that only has the fan fiction to go on, for the most part.
That's why I don't write much Ranma fanfiction. ^_^)

No. Genma is stealing from Kachi, so he isn't harrassing Ranma for a change.

 "I'm not sure you attending school is such a good idea," Soun said,

staring

 longingly at Kachiko.

"Mother," Kasumi prodded. "If you insist on being so cold to Father,
I am going to have to take measures..."

"Measures? What are you talking about?"

"I ordered some special, secret Chinese potions off Amazon.com.
Keep it up, and I'm locking you two in a room and experimenting at
random."

Heh. Another cute one.

 "People won't think you're a weirdo because we call you Mom," Nabiki
 provided.

 "Good."

"They'll think you're a weirdo 'cause you're the newest girl after
Ranma."

"URK! How did you know--ah, er..."

Heh.

"Like the badger you've got on your shoulder."

"What? B-chan is perfectly normal!"

Heh. again.Very amusing stuff.

 Kachiko shot Nabiki another glare. She placed her chopsticks into her

bowl

 and met nothing but the bottom. She looked down to discover it empty.

She

 stared at it curiously before asking Kasumi for seconds. "Actually, I

want

 all of you to start calling me Kachi  from now on, even when we're

outside

 of school. This whole 'Mom' thing is really starting to freak me out.

It's

 like you're my kids or something."

I probably missed something... Either she doesn't believe them about what
happened, or this Kachiko is long before she had children, or...

It's the latter. It's hard to address someone older than you as your child,
especially since you haven't even had sex yet. :)

 "All right, Kachi," Soun said happily.

 "You can call me Miss Tendou," she started coldly.

I don't really like Kachiko. But I suppose that's my problem. ^_^

Picture yourself at 17. Picture ending up trapped in the future where three
people your age insist they are your kids and that you have to start
sleeping with an older woman whom you find unattractive, all the while being
told you must abandon your dreams in favor of doing something you hate. Now
is it really all that difficult to see why she acts negatively to any
implications that she should treat Soun in anything other than a purely
platonic manner?

 Soun's moment of happiness passed and he stared depressingly back into

the

 table.

Poor Soun! ^_^;;;

Well, this is true.

 "Thanks, I guess," Kachiko said reluctantly. She went to take a bite,

and

 discovered her bowl empty once again. She hadn't realized she was that
 distracted if she finished two bowls of food and not realized it. She

got a

 third helping, narrow waistline be damned.

Ha-hah! Food battle!

Ranma: Too slow, Akane's mom!

Close. It was Genma's doing, actually.

 "How are we going to get you admitted?" Ranma asked as he continued
 shoveling his own food in his mouth.

"Hah! Like anything else around here. We'll use a Deus ex machina!"

"Deus ex machina?" Nabiki asked, stroking her chin. "I've heard of
those..."

"I have a few upstairs," Kasumi offered. "I'll go get them!"

True. I might even use from time to time. It's not like Takahashi didn't do
it frequetly. :)

 Kachiko said, "Oops. You have some food on your cheek."

"Here, let me wipe it off for you..."

"No!" Ranma protested while Kachiko licked a napkin and started to wipe
off his cheek. "Sheesh, you really ARE a mom, aren't you?!"

Heh. Cute, in it's own way. But I like mine better. :)

 *You're such a sloppy eater, Boy,* Genma signed as he continued helping
 himself yet again to Kachiko's bowl of rice while her attention was
 elsewhere.

Right. Genma was the only one taking Kachi's rice. Of course... ^_^

Yep.

 "It's on the other side. I'll get it." She grabbed Ranma by the head

and

 licked the offending grain of rice from his cheek running her tongue

far

 below where it lay and continuing long after removing it.

Ranma's gotta start feeling a bit creeped-out by now. ^_^

You could say that.

 Akane made a strangling noise. She was about to shout in outrage when a
 booming voice at the head of the table bellowed, "RANMA! HOW DARE YOU

SIT

 BEFORE ME AND SEDUCE MY WIFE!"

Naturally, everyone gets completely the wrong idea and blames Ranma when
it's all the new character's fault. ^_^

That's par for the course.

 So great was the fear that even Ranma found his hair standing on end

and his

 legs involuntarily moving him to a far corner of the room. His mouth

ran on

 automatic as she got out,

"ItsnotmyfaultshediditIllbelesssloppyfromnowon!"

"What did he just say?" Akane whispered to Nabiki.

"I don't know. I think it was in Elvish..."

"Presley?"

"Yeah..."

Just plain evil.

 The demon head shrank down. "You'd better watch your step, boy. I'm not
 putting up with your usual shenanigans," Soun warned. He was going to

say

 more, but felt the table tremble under his palm.

Shenanigans. That term is only used by very old men who wave canes around
in the air.

He's not doing much to help his position, is he? ^_^

Not really.

 Nabiki looked under it as well and smirked at the sight. "I thought you

said

 true martial artists weren't afraid of anything."

"Except cats, first-class demons, forest imps, and clowns. Mimes, too!"

Always the mimes. They must never be forgotten.

 "I'm the one he's angry at! He likes you! You protect me!" he switched
 around so that he was behind her and shoved her forward.

That's the way!

Yep.

 "Be a man!" she grabbed him by the shoulders and thrust him forward

again.

 He switched them again. "You be a man."

^_^ Nice comeback.

Thanks.

 Kachiko relaxed slightly, now regarding Soun in a more cautious light.
 "Well, just so long as he doesn't. That was way too creepy. My hand's

still

 trembling." She held it up to show them.

"BANZAI!!!" *THWACK!!!* She knocked them all down with that vibrating hand
and made her escape!

"After her!"
"Don't let Mom get away!"

Heh. It hasn't reached that point yet.

 "Well, it's not completely uncalled for," Nabiki said, with a sly

smile.

 "After all, you did go over the line there. I mean, do you really think

it's

 proper to lick the face of your daughter's fianc�?"

Good point, Nabiki! Get 'er on lack of ettiquette!

And agitating her by pointing out Ranma is taken goods. Not that it helps
when Soun and Genma open their mouths.

 It'll lead to nothing but misery and woe. I absolutely forbid this

travesty

 to take place." She slammed her hand down hard enough to nearly crack

the

 table in half, the look in her eyes an open challenge to those that

would

 oppose her will..

Look who's talking. Seventeen with three daughters. ^_^

Besides, she's just saying that because she wants to be engaged to Ranma.

Got that right.

And... AND!!! There's no way ANYONE in the Ranmaverse is that sensible
and actually believes such a thing. So, she has to be just making excuses.
^_^

Well, it was her feelings on marriage when her parents tried talking her
into marrying young. She's just applying them to this situation.

 Akane, openly moved by her mother's concern, stepped forward and spoke.
 "Mom. It's okay with me." She blushed slightly. "I mean, it's not like

I'm

 being forced-"

Post manga volume 38, the eventual marriage is all but assured. (I haven't
read much, but that part I DID read.)

Depends on how you want to take it. Sixteen is young and people can still
change, not always moving in the same direction. OTOH, they've been through
a lot and have stuck by one another through thick and thin. Just try to keep
an open mind. :)

 "Who said anything about you? I'm concerned about poor Ranma. There's

no way

 I'll allow him to throw his life away by marrying now."

Yup. She's just saying that because she wants Ranma all to herself. Right
now. ^_^

I think that's pretty clear, all right.

 "Um, I," Ranma started to say.

 Kachiko gave Ranma a tearful glance. "You don't want to settle down

before

 you're ready, right?"

At least she isn't hanging onto his arm and rubbing her cheek against
his shoulder. ^_^

Nah. She hasnt' decided if he's a keeper or not. But she's keeping the
option open.

 "Umm, well of course I don't want to before I'm ready. But-"

"--but... I AM ready, gosh darn it! Akane, let's get married later
today."

"You got it, Ranma!"

*PHOOMP!* They departed in a puff of smoke.

"Awww!" Kachiko complained. "But I wanted to... Oh, darn..."

Have to settle for Kunou, I guess. :)

 Soun joined his friend and helped push Ranma from the other side. He

nodded

 solemnly. "That's right. I'm sorry, Kachi-chan. But Genma and I swore

an

 oath that our families will be united through marriage. It's a matter

of

 honor."

That's the way, boys! Show 'er who wears the pants in the family!!!

They do put forth an effort.

 Kachiko stomped her foot like a petulant child.

I like this description. It suits her so well. ^_^

It is her, no doubt about it. :)

 "NOOOOO!" Kachiko shouted at the top of her lungs. "I forbid... wait a
 second. The schools need to be united. You mean it's not an arrangement
 specifically for Ranma to wed Akane?"

"No, it can be to either Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, or even to me."

"Ahah! It can also be to me!"

"No, you're officially declared dead," Genma noted. "I will not have
my boy marry a dead girl!"

Kachi: If I'm dead, then you won't feel me kick you in the balls.

Genma; Upon careful reconsideration, you're lively enough to qualify for
fianceehood.

 "Now you've gone and done it," Nabiki said in a tired voice.

It just depends on how you want the plot to go. I'd say that if you
wanted to complicate things, you could let it go like you've got it...

The plot determines all. ^_^

Oh, what will cause the most chaos, of course.

 Everyone in the room could practically hear the gears of Kachiko's mind
 turning.

Then the snapping when she finally gave up and decided to go with the
most direct solution.

Heh

 No one found they could argue with that. If anything, the room seemed

to

 take on an air of relief at the reasonable suggestion.

People being reasonable in the Ranmaverse?! NEVER!!! I forbid it!!!

It shan't last.

 The cold glare Kachiko shot both men managed to silence even Genma.

"No. It

 would be better if we wait a couple of years and see what happens.

There's

 no need to rush into something as serious as marriage. It's not like

there's

 a time limit or anything. I don't think anyone's ready to be parent

here?"

 She turned her gaze to the three girls and Ranma.

"Yes!" Akane replied instantly, desperate to assure the marriage she'd

gone

through so much to get. "Yes! I wanna have babies!" She grabbed Ranma by
the arm and hauled 'em upstairs to her room, where she put a "do not

disturb

sign out front before slamming and locking the door.

Nobody quite knew what to say to that.

Nor do I. :)

 Soun nodded. "That's understandable and makes sense... What? No! You

can't!

Hmm... Was it a mailer error or is there a missing quotation mark?

It was missing. I've added it

 Kachiko openly scoffed at the statement. "Of course I can. I'm a female

of

 the species. Single. Heterosexual. Obviously capable of bearing

children."

 She ruffled Kasumi's hair.

"But she's engaged to ME!" Kasumi cried.

Everyone stared at her.

"Mother," Kasumi added after a moment, "I don't want to have Ranma as
a stepfather!"

Heh. Kachi isn't as weak willed as Soun when he was asking the girls about
Hinako being a potential step-mother.

 That signaled an end to breakfast. Everyone else left the room as

Kachiko

 was forced to drag the sobbing Soun attached to her leg.

So heartless. That's why I don't like 'er (reason two).

Hardly. When it comes to Soun, she's simply acting the way 99% of humanity
would in her situation. As to the other things, well, reversing the
percentiles might be more appropriate. :)

But I'm not supposed to like 'er. I'm supposed to watch 'er! ^_^

Her characterization's fine, other than my badly-skewed opinion. Couldn't
be handled better.

Thanks. She has to be irritating to the characters to a large degree. It
will become clear once we get to the end of the tale.

 always pressuring us to get married. But the idea of waiting a while

really

 appeals to me. It's like no one's trying to force me into something and

I

 can just take it easy since there ain't a hurry. Don't you think

so...?"

 Ranma trailed off, finding Akane nowhere in sight.

Eh, you love it, Ranma. Admit it!!!

He does. He mentions it later that boredom would be worse.

 Ranma walked along the top of the fence, fully aware of the wall of

silence

 that had somehow risen between him and Akane as the two of them, and
 Kachiko, made their way to school. Evidently Akane didn't feel the same

way

 about the delay that he did. Sure, she had been willing to marry him

once,

 but one of the reasons he had not pressed the issue about marriage even
 after the wedding was disrupted was because somewhere deep down inside

he

 felt the timing was off.

Now he starts to justify it. ^_^

Nah. Exposition for the reader. :)

Kachiko had been right on the money when she said
 marriage at sixteen was too soon. There was plenty of time for that

sort of

 thing later in life, when he didn't have school, constant training,

people

 harassing him left and right, and the rest of the chaos his life held

to

 distract him from the importance of family life.

By the time he gets around to it, he'll be three centuries old and

enshrined

as the greatest waffler in the known universe. ^_^

True.

 Regardless of how his father had raised him and how well he had turned

out,

*Smirk* ^_^

Well, he does. :)

 five or ten years he would want to run away, like his father had, and

live

 on his own with only a child in tow. There were times during the very

worst

 of moments when he felt sort of trapped in his situation with all the

other

 girls and rivals hounding him.

Eh, he likes it. What'd life be without constant challenges? Boring,

that's

what. If they were to suddenly stop, he'd hunt 'em down and ask 'em why.

He thinks that in the next line.

Those times usually passed quickly, since in
 his eyes things being boring would have been far worse to deal with,

See? :)

 Akane was just going to have to deal with it. He would have discussed

it

 with her, but he had no idea where to begin, wasn't comfortable with

sharing

 the serious feelings (with her or anyone), and knew she wouldn't take

it

 well no matter how reasonable it was. So he let the matter alone,

confident

 things would return to normal, like they always did.

Yup. Back to the status quo, at the end of each episode, usually. Ignore

the

problems and they'll go away.

That's what he's going for. :)

 It was ironic that someone who had otherwise caused him nothing but

grief

 since her arrival had finally done something in his favor, even if

Kachiko's

 motives were stemming from her own interests rather than his,

regardless of

 what she claimed. What made her worse in some ways was that he couldn't

deal

 with her they way he could others because of the connection to the

Tendou

 family, as well as the fact that until a couple of days ago she was

dead.

Gotta be at least a little creepy. You'd do her a favor to let her mind
settle back down. She's still in shock. Any decision she makes should
be considered suspect.

Yes, well, that would be the wise decision. Needless to say, it's not a
course that will be taken.

 Still, with Kachiko actually helping him for a change, maybe it was a

sign

 of things to come, and that she wouldn't be causing him any more

problems.

Ranma, by that thought process, the curse is now upon you.

Yep.

 "Oh." she said, then lashed out with her right, striking one of the

fence's

 supports just as Ranma put his full weight on it. The blow was enough

to

 bend the metal forty-five degrees. Gravity took over from that point,

and

 dumped Ranma into the water of the canal running alongside.

"Nice move, Creskin!" Ranma yelled sarcastically from the canal. "While
you're at it, why don'tcha stab me in the back and try to get me engaged
to you! Oh wait, you already did!"

That's certainly going to endear her to him. ^_^;;;

No one said she was the soul of tact. :)

 "It's not working very well," Kachiko said in all earnestness.

Another reason why I don't like her (number 3). Too smug. That's
my job.

Actually she's not being smug. She was testing him out of curiosity. The
jumping up after is smugness. :)

 "Testing your balance." She walked ahead past the damaged section of

the

 chain-link fence, and nimbly jumped up to the top. She proceeded to

walk

 backward effortlessly along it. "You failed, by the way."

"You remind me," Ranma began, "of a very young Cologne..."

Heh. But the mirror showed she was a hottie back then with poor taste in
men. :)

Kachi: Just like me

Ranma; Hey! I ain't another version of Happosai.

  Ranma jumped over the fence and onto the street next to Akane. Now his
 fiancee's ire was replaced with some measure of sympathy, and she

handed

 Ranma a handkerchief. The cursed-girl used it to dab at her face.

That's the way! Get the happy couple back together!

Err, they aren't really 'apart'. :)

 "So what's the school like nowadays?" Kachiko asked as she continued

walking

 backward.

At least she isn't showing off some deft level of acrobatics to further
demonstrate her superiority.

Nah. Overkill.

 Ranma shrugged. "It's school. They teach boring things. You talk with
 friends. Your enemies harass you. The usual. Oh, the principal's a

major

 nutcase. He's got a Hawaiian fetish, makes up stupid rules, and is

always

 trying to cut your hair short. Worse, he's a Kunou."

And Kachiko brags that she's had worse... "In my day, kiddo, we used to
have real TYRANTS for principals

Actually she did. :)

 That perked Kachiko's interest. "The principal's name is Kunou? You

mean

 they finally got rid of Principal Faust?"

Should've been good ol' Principal "Dark" Schneider. Eh, well, Vader's
already taken. ^_^

Reference to a different anime series.

 Seeing her distracted, Ranma at last acted on her plan. The redhead

pointed

 directly behind Kachiko and shouted, "Look! It's Haley's Comet!" Then

hit

 the support Kachiko had been standing on.

*Applause* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! Way to go, Ranma!!! That's how
ya do it!!!

Sad that it ended up working for him, wasn't it?

 *Splash*

Woo-hoo! ^_^

Heh.

 "Looks like we know who you inherited your buoyancy from," Ranma said

as she

 leaped over the newly ruined section of fence and into the water.

"No more 'built like a brick' jokes, okay?!"

Heh

 Ranma looked down at the motionless girl. "Umm. she might need
 mouth-to-mouth. I think it would be a really bad idea if I-"

DO IT!!! DO IT!!!

Nah. His grave is deep enough as it is.

 It was at that moment that Kachiko sat up lightning quick, shouting

"But I'm

 not a lesbian!" Her head impacted with Akane's hard enough to knock the

bent

 over girl backwards and onto her bottom.

Keeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkkkkk!!!

Then, magically, Akane and Kachiko had switched bodies...

"HAHA!" Kachiko yelled in triumph. "Now you HAVE to marry me!"

Oh, wait, that's the Monkey Headbutting fanfic... ^_^;;;;

Yep. That's been over for a while now.

 It took several blinks for Kachiko to focus on Ranma. "Yes. That was
 strange. One second everything was fine, then all of a sudden the world
 seemed to lose focus and I got dizzy. The next thing I knew you were

fishing

 me out of the water."

It's temporal/destiny mechanics, Kachiko! You're trying to die and make
everyone feel sorry for you again!

Well it won't work! They're keeping you alive and making you get back
together with your husband whether you like it or not! Wouldn't be
proper otherwise.

You'll see.

 "What was that bit about not being a lesbian?" Akane asked, her
 sensibilities returned.

"Well, maybe I am, but just a little. Only enough to like Ranma, whatever
form he's in. Really. No more than that. Why are you looking at me like
that?"

Heh. She's not digging herself that grave yet.

 Kachiko looked at the fence she had been standing on right before

everything

 went dizzy. "No doubt because the defective metal the post I was

standing on

 just happened to give out as I crossed it, right Ranma?"

"No! I take full credit--er, responsibility!"

"Nonsense, someone as nice as you wouldn't do that to me... It just gave

out."

Sadly, that might have worked.

 "Sounds good to me." Ranma put on her best poker face.

 Kachiko punched her in it.

I take that to mean that Kachiko punched Ranma's poker face. I understood
it and all, but still, it seemed a bit oddly phrased...

Hmm. I thought it made sense and would be at least a little amusing.

 "It's different when a girl knocks a guy in the water than when a guy

knocks

 a girl in the water. Everyone knows that."

That's generally true, but when they're as stuck up as Kachiko, who wants
all the glory and power of a mother without the responsibility

Nah. She doesn't want the glory and power as anything other than an
occasional tool.

The point at which tormenting Kachiko is no longer any fun is when she
starts crying. Unless they're crocodile tears, in which case, the teasing
must continue.

She's not Usagi. :P

 "Oh, good point," Akane said.

No it isn't.

In the Ranmaverse female perspective it is. :)

 "I'll prove it!" she shouted at their ever dwindling forms. Ranma

looked

 around until she spotted someone that could answer the question. "Hey,

you!"

Random person. You've got to be more selective than that, Ranma!

  "No time to talk. Little Azusa is late for school." Azusa speeded

along

<Shampoo> Aiyah! Azusa speeded along without punctuation?! I kill!

</Shampoo>

Got it.

 Thinking quickly, Ranma dug around her pocket until she came up with

what

 she had been searching for. She held it high above her head for Azusa

to

 see. "I'll trade you this really, really cute thing if you'll answer a
 question."

Ranma keeps cute things in his pockets for just such an emergency? Good
work! ^_^

Well, cute is all a matter of perspective as well.

 Azusa turned on a dime, picked it up, named it Marcelle, and skated up

to

 Ranma.

Very appropriate. I like this sentence. I'll take it home and name it
Jean Luc.

heh

 "Aw come on. I'll give you something else cute if you answer a question

for

 me."

"Like dat widdle piggy gnawing on your foot?"

Nah. She'd recognize her 'Darling Charlette' :)

 Azusa made a circle around Ranma, looking over her the way a vulture

might

 examine a man lost in a desert and fifty miles from the nearest oasis.

She

 said, "Okay. If Azusa can have Louis, she'll answer your question."

^_^ Appropriate comparison.

Thanks. Don't use metaphors often.

 "Don't be silly. Of course not. Everyone knows that. Come along,

Louis."

It'd have been better if she could have been asked to explain why it's not
the same. ^_^

Nah. There's no rational explaination for it.

 "But it is the same thing! They aren't different in-- Hey! Give me back

the

 drawstring on my pants!"

At least Azusa hasn't gotten into underwear theft yet. ^_^;;;

No. Not yet.

 "You said Little Azusa could have Louis, and now she does. Bye-bye."

She's got a point there.

Yep.

 Ranma lunged at the diminutive skater, but she darted into the busy

street

 to avoid the clutching grasp. Ranma tried to pursue, but her pants fell

to

 her ankles and she tripped over them, falling facefirst into a pile of

gooey

 mud. She remained motionless.

Naturally, things go badly for Ranma. ^_^

Wouldn't be fun otherwise.

 There was the sound of two vehicles colliding. A moment later a voice
 shouted, "Oh no! That container full of deadly snakes just broke open."

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Glad you approve.

 "And there's no concertina wire along the top of the wall either."

There she goes again, bragging about how bad things were in her day...
She'll probably get bored at this school.

Nah. Hinako will see to that.

 "Highly trained, genetically enhanced, intelligent guard dogs?"

"Only a couple in the basement. The principal keeps them well-shaved."

Cute bit at the end of that.

"Snakes. Lions. Tigers. Bears. Happosai. Enough said."

 "You know, the usual," Ranma said casually.

 Kachiko turned as well. "Hey, I like the belt and vest, but I'm not so

sure

 about the boots. Are those snakeskin?"

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Good recovery for Ranma. ^_^

Thanks. I thought it would be appropriate to show he came out on top fairly
easily.

 "It's just the snake venom. Don't worry. It'll pass."

Good ol' comically damage-resistant Ranma. ^_^

Of course.

It's sad that so many fanfics ignore this angle and have
him die of cancer or some other rather un-funny malady.
If he's going to die, it might as well be due to some
alien disease that causes random mutations that he continuously
shrugs off. "Eh, I've had worse." ^_^

Depends on the nature of the fic.

 Just as Akane was about to say more, the familiar form of the Principal
 popped up before the trio. "Aloha everybody."

*BZRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!* The electric razors got fired up...

Nope. He's going with a different tactic.

 "If you're bothering me with it first, that means it's something
 extraordinarily bad," Ranma retorted.

Ranma? Insightful? Naah. ^_^

He was for that moment. :)

 the little keikeis tattoos to be showing their loyalty to de school.

Here's

 what they be looking like when they're done." The principal rolled up

his

 sleeve and showed them the tattoo on his bicep. It showed a picture of

the

 Principal's smiling face with the letters 'Furinkan Forever' directly

above

 it.

Oh. That's not so bad. It'll only take a laser treatment and horrific

amounts

of scarring to get it off. Practically a walk in the park for the Ranma
cast...

Heh

 The Principal brandished his tools like they were hair clippers. "Don't

be

 so reluctant. All de keikeis be getting de ink done nowadays."

"Ranma," Kachiko said, "if you get that on your arm, I'm not marrying

you?"

"You're not!? Great! Sign me up, Principal Kuno!" ^_^

It's not that easy.

 "No way!"

 Ranma met the Principal's lunge with a boot to the face.

"Dan Dan Boot To The Head!"

Should have been 'foot', even if he did fashion serpentine footwear.

 She could practically feel the power within him, and there was no doubt

he

 was holding back, most likely for the Principal's sake. She hadn't

realized

 he was that good. That made her a bit wary. She was used to being the

top

 dog around school, and very much liked that position.

That would explain the haughty manner she's been handling everything so

far...

Just because you're handling her characterization perfectly well doesn't
mean I have to like 'er. ^_^

No. As long as you keep reading is what matters. :)

It was tactical skills,
 adaptability, deception, and ruthlessness that were the keys to

victory,

 especially when it came to powerful opponents.

WRONG! It's love and na�vet�. That always beats an opponent, no matter
how powerful!

Not here. That's Sailor Moon. :)

 Caught off guard, Kachiko looked around to see if he might actually be
 asking someone else, but she was the only one present. "Can what be

what?"

"Can it be that I, Tatewaki Kuno, have misplaced my bokken? Surely you

have

seen it...?"

Heh

 "Oh, that," Kachiko said. "Actually, my name is Kachiko, but you can

call me

 Kachi. The strong resemblance I have to Akane is because I am her

cousin,

 and definitely not because I'm her mother who traveled through time and
 ended up stuck here because of a wish."

I like it when people phrase things like that. It's fun. ^_^

I thought so too. Glad that one worked as well.

 "Don't worry about it. There's only one Kunou, thankfully. And besides,

if

 he's bothering her, that means he's not bothering you."

Only one? He's got a dad and a sister. ^_^

He means Tatewaki, of course. :)

 He latched onto her hand, holding it up to his chest. "Can you feel it?

My

 heart racing like the gentle beat of the birds as my eyes bask upon

your

 beauteous form?"

 Kachiko stood motionless, her mouth agape.

She's a sucker for some good poetry. I'll bet Soun used to recite it to
her all the time before he got embittered by her death. ^_^

Yep. Turns out she is. Thought that might throw some people.

 Kunou went from holding her hand to his chest, to clasping it in both

his.

Invite her out!!! Invite her out!!!

he's working his way to it.

 He backed off, and looked forlorn at the sky. "Your Beauty. The Winds.

The

 Oceans. My Passion. All the same: Relentless."

Forlornly perhaps? Or are we being poetic here? In poetics, normal rules
of adverbs and syntax do not apply. ^_^

changed.

 "Nay, for there are no words that can do your beauty justice. All they

might

 do is describe its effect upon me." He raised his bokken to the

heavens. "I

 woke this morn without hope, but now I see that it was but the first

day of

 the rest of my life, one to be filled with joyous rapture for all of my
 existence!" He grasped Kachiko firmly by the shoulders. "What say you

to

 this, oh Angel of Elegance? Would you bless myself with your presence

for

 eternity?"

"Er, yes! Would you marry me?"

"But of course, Gift from the Heavens..."

"Waiwai!"

Three failed relationships later...

"Man," Ranma commented, "I can't believe your mom divorced your dad... and
married mine!"

Heh. Too much Bill and Ted, I see.

 "Oh wow! That's so cool. No one's ever made up poetry about me before.

Oh

 sure, some guys try it, but all they manage to do is stumble over

themselves

 and only get out 'You're cute' or something else that anyone can say.

But

 you do it so well it's really sexy. And you're good-looking too. Do you

have

 a girlfriend?"

That's the way! Ranma, Akane... Leave 'er be!

Nope. The repercussions from that pairing would be too much for them to
bear.

 "She's setting him up to kick him in the balls or something."

 "No member of my family, especially not my mother, can possible think

Kunou

 is anything but an idiot."

Maybe she's got a certain amount of na�vet� after all... She may yet be
able to beat Ranma!

She did once, though she suckered him bad.

 "She can't think he's cute. She said she thought I was cute!" Ranma
 protested.

"Well, it just goes to show you: there's no accounting for taste. And
no way to know if anyone else has any."

Heh

 "And she said she thinks I'm cute. Which means in her eyes Kunou is

equal to

 me. Or worse, since she met him after me, that he's even cuter than me.

I

 refuse to stand for that kind of insult!"

It's not about setting things right now. It's a matter of pride and

competition

to see who's the cutest now. ^_^

Got that right.

 That earned him another smack. "That's not what I'm saying, though I

admit I

 can't understand it either. Think of it this way. Worst case scenario.
 Horror story stuff. Let's say they hit it off really well and things

result

 in her... I can't believe I'm actually saying this, marrying him."

They're just jumping to conclusions here. Actually, that's quite in

character.

Good job. ^_^

Also makes for fun.

 Kunou brushed his hair back dramatically. "I see, fair Akane Tendou.

You are

 jealous of the attentions I am lavishing upon your cousin, who is

clearly

 not your mother. Fear not. There is room in my heart for you as well. I
 would date you both!"

Nice to have such an open view, eh? ^_^

Yep.

 "My, you're a greedy little thing, aren't you?"

"I'll sell him to you for ten thousand yen..."

"Nabiki, what are you doing here!?"

Heh.

 "I am not! I'm trying to save you from making a mistake."

 "What do you mean? Does he have some kind of communicable disease?"

"Maybe. He's got a minus ten Brain of Stupidity, if ya catch my AD&D
drift..."

Potion of Delusion, actually. :)

 "He's arrogant."

 "I like men that are a self-assured. It's the soft-spoken basketcases

that

 bore me. Give me someone who's confident in himself any day of the

week."

Good point. Confident people tend to be more fun to be around than

submissive

types. Even if they are mentally unstable some of the time.

Heh

 "I like persistent men. It means they're really interested in you

instead of

 just passing the time away."

DATE 'EM, KACHI! DO IT!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!

Oh, she does. It's not a bluff to make Ranma jealous.

 "I don't want him to chase after me!"

 "Then why are you concerned about who he says he likes besides you?"

Ya see, it's circular logic! Right proper, it is! ^_^

Yep.

 "It's the principle involved."

*Da-dum-thwish!*

Yep. Here it comes.

 A man wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt and a palm tree on top of his head
 popped up between the girls. "Dat's right. I be involved since it be my
 Little Tachi we be talking about. Now, either of you little wahines

want a

 tattoo?"

"If it means dating this guy here, then STRAP ME DOWN, Mister

Principal!!!"

Heh.

 Kachiko swooned. "Oh, now Ranma is acting jealous. I haven't been here

a

 week and already I'm involved in a love triangle."

"You read the sign when you came to this part of town, didn't you?"

Heh

 "I am not jealous and there is no triangle!" Ranma protested.

"It's more of an octogram..."

There is that.

 "Wow! Now they're fighting over us," Kachiko said in delight.

 "Not for long." Akane watched Kunou take a third hit in as many

seconds.

Never does last long... except when Kuno does some weird martial arts
watermelon training thing...

True.

 "I didn't say it was an even fight. It's the principle of the thing."

 The Principal appeared again. "You called."

*Da-dum-thwish!*

You had to see it coming around again.

 It was between classes that Nabiki Tendou made her way through the

school

 hallways, looking for one person in particular.

She didn't know who, but she'd know when she found him!

Like Dirk Gently, actually.

Hmm. Don't recognize the reference.

 Nabiki wondered how Ukyou took the news. Not that her interest was

anything

 other than idle curiosity, but it might have made Ranma a touch more
 irritable than he was this morning.

Gotta include the other characters' reactions. When Ukyou, Shampoo, and
Kodachi get thrown into the mix, Kachi'll fit in just fine.

She's considering Ukyou only because Ukyou is the only one at school who
would have heard the rumor.

 Miss Hinako, in her younger form, was sitting in her chair. Chocolate

marred

 her impish features as she put the candy bar she had been in the middle

of

 ravenously devouring down. "What can I do for you, Miss Tendou?"

Down is not necessary here...

Kay

 That made Hinako rise to her feet. "Didn't hear what? Is it about a
 delinquent?" A coin suddenly appeared in Hinako's hand. She began

adroitly

 flipping it between the fingers of one hand with a skill that belied

her

 apparent age.

Nothing like a delinquent hunt to fire up the ol' engine.

yep.

"Nooo..."

 Hinako's interest instantly doubled. "Soun-chan. What about Soun-chan?"

Ah, yes, play on the emotions, and then extort 'em for all they've got!

Not quite

 Hearing Hinako speak her father's name in such a familiar way made even

the

 usually stoic Nabiki wince. "Maybe it would be best if someone else

told

 you."

Don't try to back out now, Nabiki. You've dug your trench, now open the
floodgates!

She's faking it. She'll tell Hinako.

"Nooo..."

 Hinako's coin fell from limp fingers. "Wife?"

 "Afraid so. If you ask him, he'd tell you he's married to her."

Yes. Make it sound bad...

And the best part is, it is the truth.

 "But, it can't be. He's still mourning your mother."

 "He's not the only one in mourning about her," Nabiki said acidly.

She wants to see Mommy back with Daddy as much as Soun does. ^_^

Nope. Kachi is rubbing her wrong enough she doesn't want her as mother.

 Nabiki followed, a smirk on her features.

Gotta find some way to make Mommy uncomfortable at school. ^_^

And for Nabby to get some measure of revenge.

 Hinako placed her hands on her oversized dress

I believe I saw her dress once, and it was just about the right size for a
cute, all-covering dress for a little girl, while being a bit snug and

short

for an adult...

Well, it's to show she's going to change soon.

 Ranma paled. Reflexively he said, "How did you find out about that?

It's

 supposed to be a secret."

^_^ And said line gets misinterpreted, of course.

Well, sort of.

 "This is really bad," Ranma lamented.

He's had worse. ^_^

True, but that doesn't make it any less bad.

 "Would you go away?!" Ranma booted the Principal out the nearest

window.

Aww, and not through the second floor and the roof? ^_^

Straightest path with the least resistance.

They were pretty much the same thing in her
 day when a new girl came to school. All the other girls would feel her

out

 for possible friendship or rivalry, and the guys would ask questions to

see

 if she was acceptable dating material.

Ya know. The proper questions. Gotta scope out the territory.

Yep. That's pretty much it.

That Kachiko was
 'related' to Akane, who was fairly popular to begin with, only helped
 matters and made people inclined to like her.

Trust the new character to be instantly liked...

Well, just that she has an inside line in this case.

It was times like this she really wished
 she could tell Sakura the truth.

Sakura... Don't tell me, I missed something while skimming through the
past chapters.

Kachiko's best friend whom she visited in chapter one and discovered she was
old now.

And in some ways, it would remind Kachiko of what she had lost as a
 result of the time trip.

Hey! Beats being dead. And if you don't like it, then just toss yourself
off a bridge. Problem solved, status quo resumed. Happens all the time
in episodes of other series.

I don't like it either, but hey, it happens.

Nah. She's not suicidal by any stretch of the imagination.

No, far better to abandon the hopes and plans of an
 out of reach past and go on to forge a new future with the material she

had

 been dealt.

You've got your new deck, so DEAL WITH 'EM ALREADY!!!

Pretty much it.

Make up with Soun. Remember: if age is a problem, it can be remedied.
Just ask the Amazons for something!

Nah. Soun is a no no. Ranma or Kunou are the way to go.

 And now there were so many more possibilities with the interesting

Kunou, as

 well as Ranma, now vying for her attention. So much potential, and this

was

 just the tip of the iceberg. It brought a smile to her face.

Reasons why I don't like her (number four). Running away from the past.

Not really. The past is no longer an option for her, at least at the moment.
It's just that the present Tendous were no part of her past, so she has no
connection with them. That they are trying to make her into something she
isn't only makes things worse.

(Reminder: Her characterization is just fine. I simply do not like it
very much. Of course, I couldn't stand Rinoa from Final Fantasy 8,
Aribeth from Neverwinter Nights, or Kid from Chrono Cross, so take it
with a grain of salt.)

No prob.

 "How dare you sit there and smile so smugly, you delinquent!"

Ha-HAH! Now the battle begins!

Well, massacre more likely.

 Kachiko turned to locate the speaker of such a high-pitched voice. She
 noticed all of the people that had been crowding around her had chosen

to

 back away both from her and the person that had uttered the insult.

"What's

 your problem, little girl?"

Now is NOT the time to be stuck-up, Kachi...

On second thought, maybe it's for the best. Keep it up! ^_^

Oh, she will.

 Kachiko shifted uncomfortably at the vague insinuation. "Um, get away

with

 what?"

Now she decides to get wary. ^_^

Only for a moment.

 Still, she forced herself to be civil and reached forward to pat the

girl on

 the head. "Now, now, little one. I think he's just a wee bit old for

you.

 Why don't you run along and find some pre-schooler that's closer to

your

 age?"

One misinterpretation.

Equals: Fun, fun, fun! ^_^

Yep.

 Turning a deep shade of red, Hinako said, "So you openly admit you

seduced

 him?"

Yes, make it worse. ^_^

Yep. Vague references abound next chapter as well.

 Kachiko primped her hair. "If you got it, flaunt it. Although I haven't
 settled on him. I might be interested in someone else instead. I'm a

young

 gal, you know. I want to keep my options open."

Oooh, this has gotta sound bad from Hinako's perspective.

Very

 not some tramp that puts out unless I'm firmly convinced I have met Mr.
 Right! And where do you get off trying to tell me who to date, you

annoying

 little brat? Why don't you go get some Silly Putty, roll yourself into

a

 ball, and scram?"

"Your overconfidence is your weakness..."

"Your faith in your coin is yours!"

Heh

 Kachiko smirked and kicked back on her heels. "Look, kid, if you're

trying

 to buy me off, it won't work. I'm not some-"

 "HAPPO-GOJUUEN SETSU !"

YES, KILL!!!

Nah. Series would end too soon that way.

 "Okay, that's a new one," the withered Kachiko weakly moaned.

She wants her old Principal Faust and Miss Mussolini back. At least then,
she only got flogged. ^_^

Heh.

 Kachiko merely lay there, concentrating on difficult things that took a

lot

 of her remaining energy, like breathing. It was beginning to look like

being

 run over by a car and settling down might not be such a bad thing after

all.

*Applause* A very good ending to a very nice chapter.

I thank you for writing it!

Thanks.

...

Well, at least partially. But it's the unexpected stuff that's usually
the most fun.

At times, it's true.

 Special thanks, as always, to
 The Apprentice

I remember him helping me out way back when... It was a Grande Olde

Thyme...

Heh

And so, in summary, I would like to say that the chapter's just fine
how it is. To quote Scotty, "There's nothing wrong with the bloody
thing!" --Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

As long as you don't quote ST V. Then we would have to kill you.

I have my preferences and opinions, and since I'm one that likes
dealing with Annoying New Characters as well, I have to say that
you're handling Kachiko's characterization just fine. She is who
she is, and that's pretty honest. She's also a bit disoriented,
so there's no telling how she will react when the shock disappears
and "reality" sets in. However, I don't have to like the character
to enjoy the story, which is a much greater piece put together.

More on her and her feelings next chapter as we get a better look into her
mind. It went out to prereaders last night. Only need to hear from two more
of them.

There are also a number of plot devices that could be employed to
solve various problems, like age differentials and who's in love
with who. It'll be purely up to you how and if you want to
resolve them.

Not solving anything yet, and don't count on the shrooms turning up. it's
way too easy that way.

I'd be surprised if you got anything useful out of this commentary,
since there was precious little to correct. But at least I've had
a chance to look it over more in depth and appreciate it more
fully.

Until the next time I decide to crawl out of the woodwork and do
a long review...

Thanks for the help. Really enjoyed looking it over and it amused me
greatly. And I did find some useful comments throughout .

D.B. Sommer

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