Suggested changes {before : after}
On Fri, 16 Aug 2002 05:48:53 EDT Kyhdin@aol.com wrote:
I'd like to thank everyone who's sent in C&C. I appreciate it.
I haven't seen any death threats on the list lately, so I guess they've
been taken to private email. :}b
Rayelene's grandfather was a tiny man, scarely over five feet tall, but he
had a boisterous laugh, and you couldn't help but like him. He and Amy Lynn
spent several hours one day debating theology--debate he won, much to Amy's
chagrin.
I don't see why she'd be chagrined, it's his home turf after all. Maybe
she'd be surprised how much she enjoyed the discussion. If she really
wants to win, she should try particle physics; as long as she doesn't get
destracted contemplating the protons (oh the protons....), she'd do better.
More interesting to Amy Lynn, however, were the rumors of a blond-haired
woman who roamed the woods near the lake whenever the moon was in the night
sky accompanied by a black-haired wolf, searching for something. When she {ask
ed : asked} Molly and Bunny about it, however, neither one could tell her anything.
Later, when Amy Lynn gave it some thought, she realized Bunny had looked a
little worried and even uncomfortable. The next day, however, a heat wave
struck and Amy Lynn forgot all about it.
After Amy Lynn, two other new students were introduced. One was Mina, a hyper
blond girl whose hair was tied with a red ribbon. In several ways, she
reminded Amy Lynn of Bunny. The second {student :} was Lita, a tall, amazon-like
girl who looked as though she could lift the schoolhouse off its foundation
if she felt like it.
Once Mina and Lita had taken their seats, Miss Haruna got down to business.
"The state says that this year, those of you who are aged fourteen through
seventeen have to study the life cycle of plants and animals. The folks over
at Black Mountain Plantation have agreed to let us use their facilities as
part of this. So in two weeks, class will meet two days a week at Black
Mountain where you will spend the day tending and {careing : caring} for a small herd of
sheep, twenty four head of cattle, and a small, one-acre field of various
plants, including cotton. At the end of the school year, I expect each of you
to tell the class what you learned." A few groans and complaints were heard
throughout the room. "I know most of you have have spent your lives raising
plants and animals which is why I expect A's all around as you will help the
others with what you know. Any questions? No? Good. Open your math books and
turn to page fifty-one."
Tending and caring seems redundant.
Amy Lynn sighed and pulled on her work gloves. The brown leather was shiny,
having been purchased the previous day from Molly's mother. Amy Lynn was
wearing a straw hat to keep the sun off her face and neck, one of Bunny's
work shirts, old jeans, and a pair of work boots with paper in the toes to
make them fit. The boots had been left in the clinic by a previous paitent.
For a moment she reflected that the only thing of hers that she was wearing
was her hat, underwear and socks.
Fanservice? The boots would be hers unless they expect a previous
(deceased?) patient to want them back.
"Because she doesn't understand. Janice has a very simple view of things. I
think it's because she was raised here in Juuban Hollow. Homosexuality is a
strange word to these people. Some have probably never even heard of it."
The way the Army deals with lesbians wouldn't have helped any either. Any
quesiness she already felt would have been greatly amplified to avoid
attacting any suspicion.