Hooray! Another AMG fic! ^_^

--- TaitekiKagato@aol.com wrote:

Ah! Megumi-Sama!/Ah! My Goddess!

That would be "Megami-sama!" 
Megumi is Keiichi's little sister. ^_^;

             Trials of the Heart
              Prologue/Teaser
                  By: Kagato

-------------------------------------
"Belldandy? I'm going down to the market to pick up a snack and
some ice cream, in case Skuld drops by.

Oh? Skuld is living on her own, now?

Anything I can get for you while I'm
there?" 
Keiichi Morisato, 19, asked from the doorway.

He's at least 21 by the time Skuld shows up. He was a sophomore when
he made the wish (Megumi started the same year, and she's a year
younger.)
 

With that though, she smiled a little more, and

though : thought

"Hello? Morisato residence, Belldandy speaking."
"… Oh. Hello Father!" She said, smiling a bit more. Then she
frowned.
"Yes. Now? No, it's fine. Alright." She nodded, looking around,
attentively.
"Alright, Father. Goodbye." She said, before she hung up the phone.

Minor point, but they never call him "father".
 

    Before it had settled in the cradle, she was moving towards the
nearest 
mirror. Kami-sama never said "immediately" unless it was important.
She 
didn't know what to expect, but knew that she was needed in her
Fathers 
office yesterday. And, practically diving through the mirror,
Belldandy left 
the temple she and Keiichi had come to call their home.

A potential problem here. If Keiichi is wearing the sweater that
Belldandy made, it's after Terrible Master Urd which was the turning
point regarding Belldandy's attitude of Heaven (including Kami-sama)
vs. Keiichi. Belldandy at this point would never leave Keiichi so
easily, no matter what Kami-sama said. Could you make this a phone
call instead of a visit? 

    Belldandy's entrances were always smooth, somehow reflecting
the 
perfection being a Goddess implied. So it was of no small shock
when she shot 
out of the mirror so rapidly it wobbled, before falling to the
floor and shattering. 

If it was a phone call, you could just have her miss the cradle when
hanging up the phone. 

Reaching the doorway, She blinked once in the bright light, then
ran to the 
gate, faster than she could ever remember pushing herself before, 

She'd have to be moving close to the speed of light to do that. She's
moved very quickly by this point in the storyline, certainly faster
than the eye can follow.

    He turned, looking uphill, at the temple he now shared with
Belldandy 
(and, of course, her sisters, whenever they dropped by.) 

So both Urd and Skuld have moved out of the temple? 
Is there any explanation for this unlikely event? Did they, say, get
called back to Heaven to work on Yggdrasil? Even if Belldandy is
willing to thumb her nose (politely) at Kami-sama over Keiichi, Urd
and Skuld still obey his summons.

So caught up in his 
thoughts, he failed to hear, or notice at all, the truck coming
from the 
other direction. And, just as unfortunate, the truck driver failed
to notice him soon enough.

I suppose Keiichi is about to be run over by a truck? If so,
Belldandy can't be anywhere around, since she's fully capable of
saving Keiichi from a runaway truck (and has, in fact, done so.) Or
is this a plot by Mara to get Belldandy to use up her power? Bell
tends to go overboard in the power comsumption department when it
comes to saving K1.

Not the most original of beginnings, since Keiichi tends to wind up
in mortal danger in a variety of fanfics, but not bad either. Keep up
the writing. It will be interesting to see where this goes.

Brian Welch

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