Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Wed, 14 Aug 2002 15:52:39 -0700 Christopher Olsen
<christopherolsen28@hotmail.com> wrote:
Nodoka blushed slightly. "Well, it has been a long time since I was in
school, so I'm not absolutely positive about it... but there aren't too many
pens in this area. I'm sure we will find your friend soon enough." Before
{toolong : too long} they had arrived at their destination, and while there were indeed a
beautiful pair of large spotted cats in residence, there was no sign of any
black panthers. The trio made their way around the entire big cat area, but
there was no sign of the Senshi of Mercury. Kasumi consulted the map once
again.
"{It shows that the : The} zoo offices aren't too far away, Auntie." Kasumi
suggested. "Why don't we try there and see if we can find out where
Mercury-san might be?"
Nodoka looked thoughtful. "I hear the zoo has been trying to find her a
compatible mate for some time...." Genma blanched, and Nodoka winked at
Kasumi where the large man couldn't see. "If you really like her, I won't
stop you. Pandas are an endangered species after all, and it wouldn't be
right to deny such a national treasure a mate." Genma started turning
purple,while Kasumi was blushing bright pink and trying not to giggle.
{Nodokawinked : Nodoka winked} at the eldest Tendo daughter again. "Nabiki-chan was right.
{ThatWAS : That WAS} fun."
I suspect the words are being joined after they leave your wordprocesser.
I'll stop mentioning them unless I have another reason for suggesting
changes to the paragraph.
Luna shook her head. "Bureaucracies didn't work that fast even in the Silver
Millennium. There's something fishy going on{
:}
here."
Artemis looked sheepish. "As you know, our memories of the past are... were,
quite sketchy." He winced. "We just recently recalled this ability."
Unless their memories are now complete, "were... are" might be better.
Nodoka smiled slightly. "I think we might surprise you, Luna-san. My husband
should be able to help us find out where Mercury-san has been sent {too :: to}...
can't you, husband?"
"Where's the {Panda : panda}?" One of the zoo people started to ask as the threatening
looking group came closer. "We were told that there was a wild {Panda : panda} on the
loose back here and... what in the world...?" The whole group came to a halt
as a loud tearing sound preceded the sight of a large white and brown pair
{ofwings : of wings} sprouting rather explosively from a young woman's back. Kasumi's
quiet cry of pain was nearly drowned out by the gasp of astonishment at the
sight, and Luna and Artemis's transformation's went entirely unnoticed by
themesmerized crowd.
"It was a trap for me!" Genma insisted. "But Kasumi will be fine. They're
looking for a panda after all, not a girl with wings." He held up a hand.
"{Ifshe : If she} gets into trouble we'll be able to rescue her, but I couldn't do that
if they locked me in the {Panda : panda} cage."
The group of net and gun wielding zoo workers started slowly coming after
her. "What is it?" The man in the lead asked, staring at her in confusion.
"Some kind of {Angel : angel}?"
"Run away?" The man in front of the group said disdainfully to the small
white haired girl trying to bar their path. "We can handle this monster
ourselves. We don't need some little girls in {mini skirts : miniskirts : mini-skirts} to help us."
"That should do nicely." Kasumi decided, gliding in that direction in
relief.In a gratifyingly short time she reached the rooftop, then suddenly
realized that she didn't really know how to land. Kasumi winged to a frantic
halt only feet before going off the far side, tripping as she hit the ground
and slamming into the small wall boarding the edge of the roof with a crash.
"Ouch." She slowly sat up from where she had ignominiously come to a halt.
Kasumi winced as she carefully brushed small pieces of gravel off her
shoulder, which started to bleed slightly from the laceration she had
inflicted on it. One {ginger : gingerly} inspection later, she was able to determine that
aside from her shoulder and a shallow scrape on her left leg, she was
uninjured.
Genma nodded. "It was a trap for me!" He declared knowingly. "Did you hear
them? They were looking for an escaped {Panda : panda}! Someone must have sent them
after me."
Nodoka hesitated. "What should we do? If this {Demoness : demoness} is about we should
warn as many people as possible, shouldn't we?"
"Just tell the truth." Nabiki had told them seriously. "It'll all get out
eventually, and it's better if you tell it your way {then : than} having it get all
blown out of proportion. You don't have to mention everything that happened
in China, certainly, but other then the Senshi stuff, there isn't any reason
you can't just tell the truth about what's happened. If you are all telling
the same story, everyone will get bored with talking about it in a week.
You'll see."
You can find almost all the previous Chapters to this at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/1449/fanfics.html[1]
Thanks for the link to the previous chapters.