Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Wed, 14 Aug 2002 03:06:44 EDT Kyhdin@aol.com wrote:
Whew! And moving right along...
And this is supposed to be a good thing in what way? I have to admire your
persistance dodging the air strikes though. :}b
Amy Lynn rose with the sun and went to bed at around ten at night. It was,
she had concluded some time ago, the most efficient use of her time. She did
not waste time laying in bed, but rather immediately gathered her things and
marched down the hall to the tub, which she filled with water heated to a
comfortably warm sixty-five degrees.
I'm trying to figure out where she got water that cold in Juuban Hollow in
the summer. I agree that she'd find it comfortable.
Normally, she would have been done in thirty seconds, but today she paused,
and examined herself critically in the mirror. Her hair was black, but in
bright light, it seemed to turn blue. Her face had once been described as
"like a {dolls' : doll's}" her skin was pale, setting off her blue eyes. Her jaw had a
slightly squared off look to it, a legacy of her father, judging by the one
picture she had of him and the few times she had seen him after her {parent's : parents'}
breakup.
"It sounds interesting, but I have to {unpack, the : unpack. The} movers arrived yesterday
evening and the furniture needs to be assembled."
"Mom likes to buy furniture that can be assembled and disassembled {at will : easily},"
Amy Lynn replied.
While neither Amy Lynn or her mother were mechanically inept, Bunny's
affinity with tools was astounding. In the space of three hours, the {blond : blonde}
had already put together both couches and the large computer desk. Even now,
she was humming to herself as she screwed together the bookcase.
{in : In} her room, Molly and Amy Lynn were slowly emptying boxes.
It's interesting to see a non-clumsy Usagi. She still seems to have a way
of making friends with her enthusiasm though.
"My dad," Amy Lynn replied, taking the frame from Molly. "He and {mom : Mom} split up
when I was five because he was gay. This is the only picture I have of
him-she doesn't know about this one. Mom destroyed the others and fought like
mad to limit his visitation rights." Amy Lynn ran a finger over the image.
"I've seen him only three times in the last ten years and the last time was
almost six years ago."
Bunny grinned cheerfully. "Nope." She worked the shift and zoomed backwards.
"No seatbelts, {either : neither}," she continued, seeing Amy Lynn frantically looking
around. "Pa cut them out. Said we didn't need 'em." Wrenching the wheel, she
swerved the truck onto the road, shifted again and floored the accelerator.
Bunny's driving skill seemed to be best described as "Pick a direction and
try not to hit anything{: , much}." For fifteen minutes, the truck bounced, the wheels
actually leaving the surface of the Earth several times as Bunny steered it
over the grassy fields at speeds better suited for high-speed aircraft before
finally coming to a screeching halt at the top of a small hill. A narrow path
led down to a clearing by a bubbling creek.
Molly proved to be correct and as the days became weeks, {Bunny : Bunny's} constant
dropping by to spend time with her new friend eventually allowed Amy Lynn to
get used to her haphazard driving. Many times{, :} the trip was short{, :} and the
two girls spent time in the general store, listening to the town's old men
argue and swap stories as they sat on front porch. She even got to meet
Rayelene Hino, daughter of the county judge, who lived with her grandfather,
who was the preacher at the local church. He was a tiny man, scarcely over
five feet tall, but he had a boisterous laugh, and you couldn't help but like
him.
Considering the odds being given for Rayelene and Bunny getting into a
fight, has Rayelene been making eyes at Deputy Shields?
There were also rumors of a blond haired woman who roamed the woods near the
lake whenever the moon was in the night sky accompanied by a black-haired
wolf, searching for something.
Not a white wolf?
Soon, school started and Juuban Hollow's forty-five or so children, ranging
in age from six to seventeen gathered in the school house, a dilapidated
structure on a hill west of town. It was a single room and ran by Miss
Haruna, a tall, imposing woman {who's : whose} manner was almost as intense as {Rayelene : Rayelene's}.
After Amy Lynn, plus two {: other} new students, Mina, who's blond hair was tied with a
red ribbon, and Lita, a tall brunette who looked as though she could lift the
school off it's foundation had been introduced, Miss Haruna got down to
business.
Michael laughed softly. "Your Mother has never been one to let her predjuices
and opinions get in the way of doing her job. I remember when you were about
three, a few years before I discovered...what I was. I took you and a picnic
lunch down to the Emergency Room where she was on duty. As she was getting
ready to go off duty, the doors opened and an ambulance crew rushed in
bearing Leslie {McDaniels. the : McDaniels, the} president of the local chapter of the Gay and
Lesbian support {group and : group,} bleeding to death. Janice knew who she was, of
course, and dropped everything to tend to her. Without your {Mother's : mother's} skill,
she would have died right there in the lobby of the ER. That's when you
turned to me and said 'Daddy, I want to be a doctor when I grow up.'"
Another man dressed almost identical to Michael walked up to them. He had
short, curly blond hair and the coldest eyes Amy Lynn had ever seen. "This is
Jeddadiah Cite," Michael said. "Jed, this my {Daughter : daughter}, Amy Lynn."
Being the daughter of a Dark Kingdom general would explain some of her more
unusual abilities.
"You're fooling yourself," Jeddadiah said. "Once we find Empreya, the Queen
will slaughter her and the rest of the humans like pigs. You really think you
can save her?"
"Shut up, Jeddite," Malachite snarled.
Does that mean he's not gay? Maybe if Amy Lynn's mother realizes he's just
a major leader in an organization dedicated to destroying all human life on
earth, she'll be willing to talk to him.