At 03:39 PM 8/9/2002 -0700, you wrote:

Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Fri, 09 Aug 2002 16:16:48 -0500 "C. Jones" <guilty@furinkan.net> wrote:

        "Ytterbium," Cobalt replied warmly, her face alight.

I had been wondering if something had happened to Ytterbium.

Hehehehe...

         Rei didn't even try to figure out what Usagi was talking

about. Utterly overwhelmed by Usagi's request, she sat about trying
to figure out how to youma-proof her house and her sound studio in
the few short hours before the horde arrived.

That must really be a sight.  Not youma-proofing, youma-child-proofing!  It
was much easier in the Dark Kingdom, just put something outside that would
eat any that escaped. :}P

Indeed. Childhood is very difficult in the Dark Kingdom, as Cobalt can 
attest to.

        The real problem now was keeping her recording equipment in
one piece, a task that would be difficult even if real children were
coming to visit, let alone disguised youma.

I'd actually expect youma children to be better behaved.  I know my
daughter didn't believe me when I told her the boogie man would get her if
she didn't behave; that wouldn't be a problem with youma children, they'd
seen it happen.

The only one of the six who's not perfectly behaved is Kaliborite, and 
that's mostly because of her vision problems. The children, while less 
mature, understand the seriousness of what they're trying to accomplish if 
not much else.

staves. Cobalt, her eyes dazzling in the sun for a second, realized
that one was a polearm. The other looked like nothing more than a
ridiculously large key.

I imagine she's glad to be clad.  Aren't the colors in just the skirts,
bows, and trim?  I thought the largest part of all their fukus was white.

D'oh! Thanks for catching that typo. I read it three times without seeing it.

As for the seifuku, I've always identified them by color, even though they are
mostly white.

Hmm... from the reference pics I have, cuffs, capes (the little 
sailor-attachment on the backs of their leotards) skirts, and shoes are in 
the Sailor's preferred color while the body of the gloves and their 
leotards are white. Their bows are all in either a contrasting or 
complimentary color to their main color-- black in Setsuuna's case and 
indigo in Hotaru's.

I may make some alteration here, but probably not much since the reasons 
for the color are to denote the Sailors from Cobalt's POV rather than from 
the reader's.

        "No, Ytterbium!" Tin pleaded, biting her thumbnail. "Please!
I'll change! I'll be--"

I guess that explains how the hooded one could get support from people
Cobalt trusted.  Why would they suspect her mentor of undermining her.
This makes me wonder how Cobalt turned out the way she did with Ytterbium
mentoring her.

Heheheh...

We're going to get to find out a little more of how Cobalt grew up in the 
last chapter.

        "Listen," Cobalt finally blurted out. "Like I said, I'm not
really sure how the teleport works, but this is how I do it..."

Cobalt doesn't realize how special her abilities are.  Without any training
by other teleporters, she has taught hersef how to do it, probably more
efficiently than Beryl's generals did it.  And because she didn't know the
rose petals Zoisite scattered were a cheat, she figured out how to do the
confetti for real.  It would be interesting to see what she could create if
she wasn't trying to teleport at the same time.

*Wink*


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