Stormwalker <stormwalker@airmail.net> presents...

     I awakened to the sound of a door opening, and footsteps
entering the room.  I've never been a light sleeper, though, and
the first few moments after waking up come to me slowly, and in a
fog... I remember vaguely thinking it was too light to be night
yet, and wondering why my con-roommates would be back so soon...
it wasn't until I heard a voice that I remembered I wasn't in my
room at all.  That realization brought a momentary panic, and my
startled movement awakened Sharon, who had been resting her head
against my arm as she slept.  Later I would consider the
implications of that... but for the moment, I was more concerned
with what it might *look* like.  It was one thing, after all, to
be caught in bed with a girl when one had actually *done*
something, but when one hadn't...

     Sharon pulled away from me almost as quickly, and our
reaction provoked an amused laugh from the entryway.  I looked up
to the source of that sound, a raven-haired girl of moderate
height and build.  She had fair skin, almost but not quite pale,
with blue-grey eyes, and her lips were turned up at one corner in
the sort of superior smirk that one wears when they know they have
another at a disadvantage.  This was Stephanie Pennington,
Sharon's friend and con roommate... I hadn't seen her before, but
she fit the description Sharon had given me far too well.

     Stephanie's smirk grew a bit, and she walked gracefully over
to one of the two chairs in the room, pulling it out and taking
a seat.  Her eyes looked me up and down, then moved to Sharon.
"Well... what an interesting sight.  Sharon, dear, what *ever*
would your parents think?"

     Sharon blushed deeply, and I had to wonder if she wasn't
overreacting a little bit... it wasn't as if we had done anything,
after all.  Then again, she'd always said her parents were a bit
overprotective.  "You wouldn't..." she said in a quiet voice, not
managing to sound as certain of it as she wished to.

     Stephanie smiled a bit more, looking very much as the cat
toying with her trapped prey.  She held on to that look for a few
moments, enjoying the uncomfortable situation in which she had
caught us... then shook her head and laughed.  "Oh, heavens no...
but you really should be more careful, you know.  I *might* not
have been alone...

     Sharon breathed a deep sigh of relief, her blush fading a
bit.  "It's not like that anyway," she protested weakly.

     "Mm?"  Stephanie raised an eyebrow.  "Not like what? I find
you in bed with some guy I haven't met and I'm supposed to believe
there's nothing going on?"  she asked teasingly, then smiled a
wicked smile.  "Of course, you *are* Sharon, which is to say that
you're Little Miss Innocent, and as embarrassed as you are, if
you'd been doing *that* you wouldn't even be able to show your
face.  You can't tell me it was nothing, though... and I am
naturally curious..." she studied me a moment, then smiled.  "Oh,
this is Jon, isn't it... yes, you've told me about him, but you
didn't tell me you were..." she let her voice trail off slightly,
still grinning.

     Sharon blushed again.  "It was nothing... nothing like that,
anyway," she insisted.  "We were just tired and needed to rest."
I bit my lip... Sharon was just digging a deeper hole, and somehow
I didn't think Stephanie was going to let her off that easily.

     "Oh, of course not," Stephanie countered, in a tone that was
not quite sarcastic, but not quite believing either.  "I do wonder
why you felt the need to take a nap in the middle of the
afternoon, though... you got plenty of sleep last night, didn't
you?  Unless... no, you couldn't have been out and about without
me knowing it."  The smile changed again, to one more seemingly
innocent.  "You might want to get to the dealer's room, though...
there's been a run on Sailor Moon stuff since the incident a few
hours ago, and I'd hate for you to miss out."

     Sharon's expression went blank.  "...Incident?" she asked
softly, in a tone that might almost have been convincing if I
had not known better.  I was surprised that she had that in her...
I had always known Sharon to be a horrid liar, and while this was
not exactly a *good* imitation of ignorance, it might be good
enough.

     Stephanie nodded, giving no indication of having seen through
the deception.  "Oh, didn't you hear?  I would think you of all
people would have known about it, since you're such a fan..."
There was something not right about her tone... it changed a bit
with those last few words... she emphasized them a bit more than
she should have.  "Some girls dressed up as Sailor Senshi caused
quite a stir in the parking lot earlier... there are police
everywhere now."

     Sharon didn't quite manage to silence the strangled sound at
that last part, though she maintained her carefully neutral
expression well.  Stephanie was choosing her barbs well... almost
too well.  Could she possibly know something?  Senshi
transformations were supposed to protect against that, but..."

     I had to say something.  "Police at an anime con... just what
we need," I muttered.  "What happened, did they beat down on some
poor soul cosplaying a Dark King?"

     Stephanie looked at me flatly.  "You really haven't heard?"
she asked doubtfully.  "There was a fight in the parking lot...
a REAL fight.  Somebody's car got blown up... witnesses said it
was an energy blast."

     I did my best to feign disbelief, though from Sharon's
expression I'm not sure I did it well.  "Somebody's CAR got blown
up?  Sounds like someone got out of hand with a prank... Oh, Hell.
I'm parked in the hotel lot!  Sharon, I gotta go check on my
car..."

     "I'll go with you," she said quickly, jumping at the excuse
to escape this uncomfortable situation.  I was already on my feet,
but I waited for her to get up, following her out the door.

     "Yeah, you should do that," Stephanie agreed with a far-too-
knowing smile.  "You two have fun now... I'll see you later, I'm
sure."

     "Right," Sharon answered as we filed out the door, not
seeming terribly enthusiastic about that certainty.  There was
another half-day left in the con, she would have to face her again
in the room that night.  Hopefully, we'd have our story straight
by then.

     Once the door was closed behind us, I shook my head.  "She
knows something," I said.

     Sharon shook her head.  "No, I don't think so... she may be
guessing, but if she was certain she'd come out and say it.  At
any rate, if she is guessing, it's about me... nobody would ever
suspect you."

     I smirked at that.  Gender-changing did have a bright side,
if you were really desperate to find one.  "Maybe... you know her
better than I do.  We're going to have to be careful around her,
though."

     Sharon nodded, a worried look flashing across her face.  "I
know... I know... Stephanie's an information-hound... she's one of
those people who has to know everything about everyone.  If she
suspects something, she'll keep poking at it until she finds it,
or until she's convinced she's wrong... it won't be easy to evade
her."  She paused a moment, then shook her head.  "No, thinking
like that won't help.  We'll find a way to throw her off the
trail somehow."

*****************************************************************

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Gemini

A work of fanfiction by Douglas A. Reeves

Episode Four - Lovely Soldier
---------------------------------------------------

I don't own Sailor Moon, nor did I create many of the concepts
in this story.  These are used without permission, and with no
intent or effort to profit by the work.  These characters,
however, are entirely mine, and I reserve all rights to their
use.  Some of them do in fact resemble living persons, after the
manner of caricature, and those likenesses are used with
permission.

(Translation: If you think I'm making fun of you, and I didn't ask
for your permission, it just means you resemble one of my friends
far too closely for your own good.)

If you haven't read the first three chapters of this story, they
can be found on my website at:

    http://web2.airmail.net/a0011387/fanfic/

or if you prefer, you can email a request to:

    stormwalker@airmail.net

As always, comments are appreciated.

*****************************************************************

     Finding a payphone, I called the number Cali had given me.
As it turned out, she and Ash were just getting ready to go to
dinner.  We decided to join them... it was the last night of the
con, though there was still a half-day left the next day, so we
needed to take the time to plan what was coming.  They were going
to a bit nicer place than I had really budgeted for, but Cali
said she would cover it, and who was I to argue?  Besides, I was
sick of fast food.

     There was another advantage to the restaurant chosen... it
was quiet, and we were able to get a largely isolated booth where
we could plan without too much concern with being overheard.  That
was an important thing... the last thing any of us wanted was to
be associated with either of the incidents earlier that day and
subsequently dragged down to the police station for questioning.

     Cali, of course, was in her usual mischievous mood;  I was
beginning to realize that was almost a perpetual state for her.
She had greeted us with a suggestive wink and the question of if
we had enjoyed ourselves... predictably, Sharon turned bright red
and proclaimed us "innocent of any such thing."  I just smiled
and shook my head a bit.  And blushed some, admittedly.  I'm
afraid being blase is not really something I'm good at.

     Still, it helped lighten the tone of what would have to be a
very serious discussion.  We had to figure out what we were going
to do... the convention would be over in eighteen hours, and all
of us had other lives to live.  At the same time, we'd had two
monster encounters in this one day alone... and it seemed Ash and
Cali had been involved in a couple of others prior to the con.
Simply put, fighting monsters looked to be a very prominent part
of our lives from this point forward... a full-time job, really,
and a thankless one without pay, at that.  We needed to be
organized and prepared for what was to come.

     As with every issue that had been brought up thus far, Ash
had her own ideas about how things should be done.  Some of these
were good... she had figured out how to produce Senshi commlinks
from the henshin wands, which would help immensely with the
problem of keeping up with each other.  Unfortunately she didn't
know how to make them look like anything other than magical girl
equipment.  Carrying around something that looked like a sky-blue
pocket calculator for junior-high girls was an idea I found less
than pleasant.  At least they were small enough to be concealed.

     What was less helpful was her stubborn insistence that SHE
should be the leader of this band.  She was oldest among us, she
maintained... and she had been the first to receive her henshin,
which, to her mind, made her special.  She seemed... rather
annoyed when I disagreed with her.

     "What's your problem?  You think because you're a man--and
I use the term loosely--you can boss us around?" she challenged.

     I sighed and shook my head.  "No, I never said *I* wanted
to be leader.  I don't think we *need* to decide on a leader right
now.  We should be more worried about developing our skills and
figuring out how we're going to do the 'champion of justice' thing
without blowing our secret identities or wrecking our outside
lives."

     "What outside lives?" she shot back.  "We're Senshi!  This
IS our lives now.  This isn't a hobby, it's a war against evil!"

     "Maybe you're right, Ash... maybe it is.  I'm going to need
to see more evidence before I believe that.  I can think of a lot
of explanations how we ended up in this position, and most of them
DON'T involve a Silver Millennium or past lives or a Dark Kingdom
that's out to get us."  I paused, letting that sink in.  "It's
magic.  It's weird, and it doesn't necessarily follow the happy
little rules we've learned from watching anime.  Maybe it does...
but I don't think we should make that assumption yet."

     A few moments passed in uncomfortable silence before Sharon
finally spoke up.  "...he has a point, Ash.  We don't know about
any of this.  Maybe we need to spend some time trying to find
out."

     "Hmph," Ash expressed her contempt.  "Of course you agree
with him.  Fine... fine... we'll play it your way for now."  She
turned to me.  "Just remember, you were the one going on about how
you have no choice in this, and how it's fate.  So you must
believe in something."

     "...something," I agreed, the truth in her words cooling my
fury a bit.  "I'm just not ready to make any assumptions yet.  If
there are larger forces at work here, they'll reveal themselves
eventually, and then we'll know.  Until then, I'm going to assume
I have some free will left."

     "I don't think that's a bad approach, really," Cali agreed.
"You know what they say about assumptions."  She smiled a bit,
and added, "I don't want to be an ass.  But I'm not going to
assume there's NOT some kind of past history involved, either."

     I nodded.  "Point taken.  I guess the best thing at this
point is to just keep our eyes open."  Not really wanting to
pursue this line of discussion any further, I looked for a change
of subject.  "We have bigger problems to worry about, for now,
anyway.  We need to establish a pattern of keeping in contact with
each other, both by communicator and by having regular meetings,
so we all know what the others are up to.  We don't have any
talking cats to give us hints as to what we should be doing or to
guide us to other Senshi, so we're going to have to figure things
out on our own."

     "If you see something unusual, you should report it to the
rest of the group," Ash said.  Her tone was still more 'order'
than suggestion, which grated on me a bit, but she had a valid
point.

     "Yes, that's a definite," I agreed.  "And report it BEFORE
you go rushing in to do something about it.  We don't know how
intelligent our enemies are yet.  The Dark Kingdom in the anime
was known for laying traps... not very good ones, but we can't
assume our enemies will be that stupid.  Try not to act alone; I
think we've all seen now that we're much more effective as a group
than we are individually."

     "That's why I say we need to be looking for other Senshi,"
Ash countered.  As much as I didn't like her attitude, I found
myself begrudgingly admitting that her reasoning in this case was
sound.  "The more of us there are, the better our chances of being
able to respond to a given situation quickly and in numbers."

     Cali grinned a bit at that.  "The word for the today is
'overwhelming force', right?"  I tried to remember where I had
heard that line, or one like it, before... was it something I
read?  Maybe.  "That's my kind of tactics.  It would be nice not
to be outnumbered for once, though we do seem to outgun the
enemies we've faced so far."

     Sharon spoke up again, and I realized suddenly just how quiet
she had been through this entire conversation.  "That brings up
another problem," she said hesitantly.  "How are we going to
respond to emergencies without compromising our identities?  I
don't know about all of you, but I still live with my parents...
and they're pretty overprotective.  If I get caught sneaking out
at night or skipping classes to deal with some kind of monster
incident..." her voice trailed off, and she shook her head.  "I
don't know how I'd explain that, unless I told them the truth.
And that would be a bad thing."

     I nodded my agreement.  "And I'm not moving into my new
apartment for another couple of weeks, though now that I've
graduated my parents don't mind so much if I'm out late."  I
turned to Sharon.  "Your parents aren't so bad during the summer,
at least," I reassured her.  "They let you go out with your
friends and such, right?"

     She nodded, but the look on her face was still one of
concern.  "Yeah, but they always want to know where I am, and they
like to check up on me."  She sighed.  "We're going to have to
come up with some kind of plan.  And it'll only get worse once
school starts again."

     Ash shook her head, and Cali cast a meaningful glance in
her direction.  At that, her expression softened just a bit...
though her tone was still flat and level.  "Don't think I don't
understand," she said, "...but there's not a whole lot the rest of
us can do to help you with that.  It's your parents you're talking
about, after all.  You're the only one who can deal with them."

     Sharon sighed.  "I know, I know," she said softly.  "We can
cover for each other to some extent, though.  I don't like lying,
especially to my parents and my friends... but we don't have a lot
of choice, do we?  If I tell people, it only puts them at risk."
She looked down, closing her eyes.  "You all do realize that
everyone we know is in danger because of what we are, don't you?"

     With those words, a somber silence fell over the group, none
of us really having a response to that.  I know I had thought
about that, some... from the looks on the others' faces, I could
see that it had occurred to them, as well.  Still, it was
something one tried not to think about.  It's easier to think
about it in happiness and light, to think about defeating evil
and protecting the innocent and doing good and saving the world;
unfortunately, when you get right down to the bare, naked truth
of it, you start to realize that being a hero has a price.
Secret identities make great comic-book plot devices, but they
exist for a reason, too.

     "We know," Ash said finally, breaking the silence in soft
voice.  That was it.  No comfort, or reassurance.  No promises
that we wouldn't let anything bad happen.  For all that we were
naive--and we were, more than any of us realized--we all knew the
possibilities.  We all knew that if someone *did* find out any of
our secrets, we wouldn't be the first ones to suffer.  We could
defend ourselves... but we couldn't defend everyone we knew, all
the time.  "We know..." she echoed, her voice quiet but intense,
"but we can't let that stop us.  It's a risk we have to live with,
because what we do, and who we are, is too important."

     As she spoke, something in my perception of her changed.
There was a conviction, a certainty in her voice that went beyond
any reason or logic... something that approached almost a
religious zeal.  This wasn't about control, I realized suddenly.
Ash *believed* in something... something deeper than what I had
allowed myself to consider.  "What are we, then?" I asked, for
once without sarcasm.  "Who are we?"

     She turned to me, and there was a flash of fire in her eyes.
"We're Senshi.  Soldiers, in a war against evil.  You may not see
it, or maybe you just don't want to see it, but powers like ours
don't just exist for no reason.  Monsters--monsters like the world
has never seen before--don't just suddenly pop up out of nowhere
without something behind it.  You can believe what you want to,
Jonathan.  I believe that there is an evil out there that only we
can stop, and if we don't stop it, nobody will.  I believe that
we have a solemn and sacred duty to protect the people of this
world from that evil.  That's our calling, our purpose.  It's
what we live for."

     Her words hung in the air, and she loomed large in that
moment, seeming less Ash and more Aries, transformed without
transformation.  It was not unlike what I had seen in Sharon at
points, the echo of something greater, grander than the young
woman I knew.  In Ash, though, the effect was very different.  In
Sharon I saw light like a shining silver star, a radiance that
seemed to transcend the body and extend to the spirit.  In Ash it
was like flame... fierce, unrelenting power and the burning zeal
to wield it.  In her words there was conviction which stirred
something even in my skeptical heart, something I could not deny.

     I had no words for a response; how do you respond to
something like that?  Ash had shown me some small glimpse of her
inner self, given me a taste of the supernatural fires that fueled
her single-minded drive, and in so doing had shattered many of the
impressions I had formed of her.  I don't mean to say that I liked
her any more than I had before, or that I had any sudden
compulsion to just jump up and follow her, or anything like that.
Maybe it's just me being what I am--a Gemini is supposed to be
good at seeing both sides of an issue, they say--but it was then
that I started to see why she was the way she was, and that maybe
I should show that a little more respect.

     More than that, though, her words and the power they held
resonated with something in my own mind, in my own heart.  I
pushed those reactions away.  It was the last thing I wanted to be
thinking about then.  I had a glimpse where that line of thought
was going, and it terrified me.  Even if I did have to face it...
and I knew I would, for some things cannot be denied... it wasn't
something I wanted to deal with in front of the others.  I'd work
it out on my own.

     I drew a deep breath, and clenched my hands in my lap,
trying to pull myself together enough to give some kind of answer,
to face the intensity of her gaze.  I've never been a person to be
afraid of confrontations, or to back down from anyone... but I've
never felt as weak as I did in that moment, either.  I don't know
how to quite describe it... it was like I'd lost myself, like
every sense of who I was and what I knew had just been washed away
in the turning tide of my own emotions.  No... even that doesn't
cover it, but it's as close as I'm going to get.

     "I believe you," I finally told her, lifting my eyes to meet
her gaze.  There was no point in denying the fact; for all that I
wanted to argue, wanted to fight it, I knew she had spoken the
truth.  With that admission, I found a little strength, a little
steadiness in my voice to continue; I had to stand on *something*,
after all... I wouldn't be backed down completely.  Not by her.

     "You'll forgive me," I said, my voice still quiet but no
longer trembling, "if I don't subscribe to any theories on past
lives and reincarnations.  Even if I was someone in the past, I
don't think I want to know.  I just want to be the person I am.
If that means being Sailor Gemini... if that means a life
fighting for love and justice and the preservation of life as
we know it, I can do that.  But I'll do it as me, and I'll do it
for my reasons, because those are the only reasons I know."  My
gaze flickered to Sharon for a moment, then back to Ash as I
awaited her response.

     "Fine."  Her voice was level, and a little cool, but not as
harsh as I had expected.  Somehow, I got the impression that I had
just passed some sort of test, and won some sort of grudging
approval.  At that point, though, I really didn't much care.
Other, deeper concerns were rising in my thoughts, things I could
not suppress for long.  I was, in many ways, of two minds.  I
suppose that too is appropriate, but I wasn't really in any
position to appreciate the irony.

     I turned to Sharon, needing to escape, to get away, to have
some time alone with my thoughts.  I needed to find myself again,
whoever 'myself' was... and I wasn't really sure what the answer
to that would be.  "I need to be going," I told her.  "Can you get
back to the hotel without me?"

     I could see the look in her eyes; she knew how troubled I
was, and she wanted to talk to me, but I really wanted to be
alone.  At the same time, I also knew I couldn't refuse her if she
asked to come with me.  As such, I was both surprised and relieved
when Cali cut in with, "I can give her a ride."

     I nodded to Cali, surprised at the seeming recognition I saw
in her eyes.  Maybe she did understand in some way, or at least
could see enough to know what it was I needed.  I didn't ask, and
I wasn't about to argue.

     Not wanting to draw this out any further, I forced a smile as
I turned again to Sharon, "...I'll see you later tonight, then,
ok?"

     Sharon hesitated, and for a moment I thought she was going to
insist on coming with me.  Then she gave me a slight nod.
"...take care, ok?" she said softly.  Her voice... there was
sadness in her tone; she wanted to come with me, wanted to share
in what I was feeling... but it wasn't something I was ready to
tell her... wasn't something I could put into words, anyhow.  I
don't think she understood that... but evidently she did get the
hint.

     As I turned to walk away, I felt kind of bad about leaving
her, but since Cali seemed to know the score, I hoped they would
talk some.  I'd talk to her about it later, regardless.  For the
moment, though... I just needed to think.

*****

     The heart speaks truths the mind would deny.  The words have
become something of an axiom to me, a truth almost self-fulfilling
in the way that I first came to acknowledge it.  It was on this
night, as I walked alone down a darkened street, that these words
first gained meaning for me, as the evening's events forced me to
acknowledge the increasingly insistent whispers of my heart.

     I did not want to believe what I was feeling, what I had felt
from the beginning and tried to rationalize away, but I had been
driven to the point where I could ignore it no further.  Ash's
words had touched fire to my soul, had burned through the layers
of resistance and forced me to admit the presence I had fought so
fiercely to deny.  She was right, damn her.  The echo of her words
in my soul was too powerful to ignore.  The calling was there; I
had felt it from the beginning, and for all my best efforts I
could no more deny it than any other could take it up.

     To that point, all of this had seemed less than real, like
something out of a story.  Even if it was real, I had told myself,
it was some sort of freak of magic.  I wasn't a Senshi, I was just
the poor guy who got this dropped in his lap and was stuck with
it.  I didn't have any special power, I insisted.  It was all in
the wand; it made me like this, and I was just along for the ride
whether I liked it or not.

     It was a weak argument, constructed from rationalization and
denial.  I had already seen evidence to the contrary; Sharon and
Ash both seemed to resonate with their Senshi powers, even in
their untransformed state.  How was it, if the power was only in
the wands, that Sharon seemed to see into people's souls, or that
Ash found such power and conviction for her words?  And how was it
that I could see such things within them, that these flashes of
power struck such a chord in my own soul, if I did not have power
of my own?

     The answer was blatant, obvious, like a slap in the face...
and in many ways it was just that.  I'd been treating my Senshi
form like a costume, or an armor; it was something I put on when
I needed the power, and took off when I was done, but it was
never something that I *was*, even in part.  I guess it was a
defense mechanism of sorts, to think that way, against the
disturbing nature of my transformation.  If the Senshi body was
just something I could use as a weapon, and be done with it
when the threat was passed, then it wasn't *me*, or even part of
me, and it didn't have anything to do with who "I" was.  I could
go on being Jonathan Thompson, put on the Sailor Gemini costume
when I needed it, and when I took it off I was myself again.

     Hell, I'd said as much in my little speech during that first
fight, hadn't I?  And here you all thought I was talking about the
fuku.  Yeah, well... the fuku was part of it, but the body
underneath was more what I wanted to deny; it was being forced to
wear that Senshi body--to accept it or allow others to suffer,
and that's not much of a choice, is it?--that really made me want
to beat down on that monster.  I wasn't a girl, dammit.  I didn't
want to be one, even for a little while.  THAT WASN'T ME.

     ...it was just a shell, with powers, I could use when there
was evil to be beaten down on.

     I wanted to believe that, with a desperation that I still
can't quite put into words.  It was a neat, clean explanation,
one that didn't lead me to question who I was, or why.  If "she"
wasn't "me", if that body wasn't mine, then "I" didn't have to
acknowledge "her" at all.

     In the light of what I'd seen, though, my denial crumbled to
dust.  If the power of Sailor Cancer was in Sharon, and the power
of Sailor Aries was in Ash... then the power of Sailor Gemini had
to be in me.  And if the power of Sailor Gemini came from within
me, then it left me with only one conclusion.  That girl, that
Senshi, was not just a role I could play, or an armor I could put
on, or even a shape I could assume.  That girl was me.

     The heart speaks truths the mind would deny, and the words
of my heart found themselves on my lips in that moment, as
though some hidden force inside me had taken control and spoken
with my voice.

     "I am the lovely soldier Sailor Gemini," I said softly,
unable to suppress the shudder that passed through me with the
words.

     I am.  Two very simple words that carry far too much weight
for their size.  They are equation and identifier rolled into
one, a definitive statement with no room for equivocation, or
uncertainty, or doubt... or denial.  They laid on my shoulders a
crushing weight, the knowledge that everything I had believed
about myself, everything I had been taught, everything I had
known to be true... was a lie.

     What did it all mean?  What did it *really* mean?  Was I
supposed to be a girl?  If Sailor Gemini was real, did that mean
Jonathan was the illusion?  I couldn't believe that, wouldn't
accept it.  The "me" that I knew had to be real... I'd lived as
him for nearly nineteen years, and that had to count for
something.  I wouldn't let go of that, not without a fight.  I'd
hold onto it somehow, in spite of what came.

     ...but the doubt would not fade, and the fear only grew.
This power inside me pulled at my heart in ways I could never
understand.  If it wanted me to change, how could I resist it?
There were higher forces at work here, power and magic, and even
the terrible specter of fate.  Did I really have a choice at all?

     ...something snapped inside, then, and I stopped walking.
Images flashed in my head, like a waking dream, or a distant
memory.  I couldn't place them, yet they were familiar to me, even
comforting.  Or maybe it was the face that kept popping up in
them... Sharon, alight with the magical splendor she showed in her
Senshi form, and yet... a sense of something more, as well.

     It stopped as abruptly as it started, and I found myself
staring blankly at a sidewalk I didn't really recognize.  How long
had I been walking, adrift in my thoughts?  Long enough to get
lost, it seemed, though I thought I could find my way back based
on the direction I'd been walking.  If nothing else, it would give
me something else to take my mind off more disturbing thoughts.  I
needed to talk to someone... no, to Sharon.  If anyone could help
me with this, it would be her.

     ...but first, I had a lot of ground to cover, and that gave
me far too much time to think.

*****

     I'd gone farther than I thought, evidently, because it was a
very long walk back to the hotel.  It was late, too... the lights
at all the businesses in the area were out, even most of the
restaurants, except for the twenty-four hour places.  Funny that I
can remember details like that now... at the time, I wasn't really
paying much attention beyond my own footsteps on the sidewalk and
the occasional street sign to be sure I was going the right way.
I knew it was late, but I didn't really have any sense of just how
long I had spent wandering the streets, trying to come to terms
with myself.

     I did, thankfully, find my way back eventually.  It was
for the most part an uneventful trip, something not to be taken
for granted in the middle of the night, but a fact which also
left me alone with my thoughts and nothing to distract me from
them.  I can admit it; there were points when it was everything I
could do to keep from breaking down and crying.  I wanted to run
away, I wanted to hide, I wanted to disappear.  I couldn't do
that, though.  Sharon needed me, and for that alone I had to be
strong.

     I can't quite describe that part.  It seems a little silly
or naive to be talking about that kind of dedication, about that
kind of love after so little time, doesn't it?  It didn't make
sense to me at the time, either.  Now?  Now, I understand it...
and I'm sure if you hang on for the whole story, you will, too.
For now, though, you're just going to have to accept it... just
like I did.  In that short time, that day and a half since our
first run-in with the hand of fate, Sharon had gone from being
one of my friends--albeit one of my close friends--to something
much more.  It wouldn't be an understatement to say that she had
become my reason for being.  Certainly she was my reason for
being Sailor Gemini, if nothing else.  If it weren't for her, I'd
have gone and chucked my henshin pen into Lake Ray Hubbard and
been done with it.

     I couldn't, though.  I couldn't abandon her when she needed
me.  I use the word 'love'... it's the closest word I know for
that feeling... but it doesn't seem to quite represent.  Or maybe
it's just the way most people use that word.  To a Senshi, it
means something different, something powerful, something glorious
and pure and full of light.  It's what we fight for, after all...
for love and for justice.  It's not just a speech.  It's our
lives.

     Of course, I didn't understand any of that yet, either.  I
just knew I couldn't run away.  I knew I had to be strong, even
when I didn't feel it.

     And I knew that I would.  Somehow, through it all, I never
doubted that I could.  I never doubted the power, or even my will
to fight.  I wasn't afraid of failure; failure was not an option.

     I was afraid of what would happen to the "me" I knew along
the way.

     So, with heavy heart, I made my way back to the hotel.  The
lobby was nearly empty, something that struck me as odd, but it
wasn't until I'd found a phone and dialed up Sharon's room that I
made the connection.

     "Hello?" an almost-familiar voice answered.  It took me a
moment to place it as Stephanie's.  Something about her tone
seemed off, but I couldn't quite place it.

     "Hello," I answered wearily.  "Is Sharon there?"

     A pause.  "...this is Jon, isn't it?  Where have you been?
She's been worried sick about you, and she's keeping me awake!"
A muffled shout from the background cut in before I could
respond, followed by Stephanie's voice again.  "In a minute,
Sharon-chan, I need to tell your boyfriend something."  That
produced another very audible shout, then Stephanie turned her
attention back to me.  "You shouldn't go off and disappear like
that without telling someone," she lectured in her most reproving
voice. "It's not good manners to leave people all worried like
this."

     Sharon's exasperated voice sounded from the background.
"Just give me the phone already!".  A sort of hurried shuffling
sound followed, and then she came on the line.  "Jon!  It's
almost three in the morning!"  Her voice was trembling with
concern.  "Where are you?  Are you okay?"

     I blinked.  It was that late?  I'd been gone... six hours?
No wonder I was tired.  "...I-I'm fine, Sharon," I stammered,
taken aback.  From the sound of her voice, she had been really
worried about me; given the time, I could see why.  "I'm sorry,
I didn't know it was that late."

     "No, no, it's okay," she assured me, the words coming out in
a flood.  "You don't sound fine, though.  Where are you?" she
repeated the question.  "...tell me where to meet you.  I'll be
right there."  Her insistence caught me off guard... this wasn't
worry about me being out late.  She had picked up on some of my
emotions earlier, and she hadn't forgotten.

     I sighed a bit; I needed to talk to her, and yet I still
dreaded the conversation.  To try and put a lot of the things I
was feeling into words... to speak them was to admit the reality
of it all, to acknowledge my fears and my concerns.  It was
another step in accepting the truth about myself, and--I
shuddered as I completed the thought--another step in becoming
the person fate and magic had decided I should be... whoever that
person might be.

     "...I'm in the lobby," I told her, my voice sounding weak
even to me.  "At the pay phones by the front desk.  I'll be
waiting."

     "I'm on my way, Jon.  I'll be right there."  She paused, as
if trying to decide whether to say something.  "I love you,
Jon," she half-whispered into the phone.

     I barely heard Stephanie's "...you're gonna have to whisper
better than that--" before it was cut off by the click of the
receiver.

*****

     There are a lot of things about becoming, for all intents
and purposes, an anime character which a lot of people overlook.
One of these is that your life quickly begins to revolve around
food.  Momentous conversations are held over dinner, or in coffee
shops, or ice cream parlors, or whatever is convenient.  I used
to believe that this was because the writers of said anime found
those familiar and believable places to hold such discussions.
Likewise, I had thought that the manner in which so many powerful
anime characters ate was simply a matter of comic exaggeration,
or perhaps an indicator on their manners or lack thereof.

     Now I know better.  One of the earliest realizations about
the changes in me, physically, was that my metabolism was on
overdrive.  My food intake tripled in a matter of days; before, I
had never been the sort to really eat a lot.  I usually didn't
finish meals at restaurants, and almost never had an appetizer or
dessert.  Now?  I could pack away three cheeseburgers with fries,
two orders of stuffed jalapenos, and two large drinks and still
have more than adequate room for the banana split afterward.

     The second and closely related realization was that this was
quickly going to break my budget.  Thankfully, Sharon didn't seem
to have this problem to the same degree--since I was buying this
time around, and having to feed both of us to that extent would
have cost more than I had to my name.  It was also at times like
these that I would learn to give thanks for living in Texas, where
we have no less than two twenty-four hour burger chains, because
on my budget, even places like the local pancake house started to
get steep really fast.

     Of course, the look on the cashier's face when I placed my
order would have been rather amusing if I had been in any mood to
appreciate it.  Sharon had ordered a lot of food for someone her
size, and he'd given her sort of a curious look... but then I
stepped up.  Now, to properly picture this, you need to know that
as a guy I'm not built much more heavily than I am as a girl; I'm
about six-foot-two, but I only weigh about one-eighty or so.  My
order was, well, not quite at the proportions above (I knew I was
hungry, but I didn't know I was *that* hungry yet...), but more
than substantial for the average NFL lineman.  For a minute I
think he thought I was joking, but he took down the order and
gave me a number, and I walked over to the corner booth Sharon
had taken.

     If there's any other advantages to going out to a burger
place at three in the morning, it's that you're almost certain
of being alone.  For this I was thankful; with the corner booth,
we could sit far enough away from the counter that the employees
couldn't hear us, and we didn't have to worry about other
customers overhearing what was going to be, for certain, a very
sensitive conversation.

     She didn't waste any time getting to the point.  Usually,
that's one of the things I love about her; she doesn't play games
and she doesn't beat around the bush... at least, not when it
comes to other people's feelings.  She herself is a different
story... but that's a discussion for another time.  At this
point, well... I'd have loved to avoid this conversation, so her
straight-forward approach was a little less welcome than usual;
it left me nowhere to hide.

     Her gaze was piercing, the magical insight that let her see
through all my defenses manifested in the deep sapphire of her
eyes.  "Something's bothering you.  I don't need my Senshi powers
to see it.  The others don't even know you like I do, and *they*
can see it, too.  Please tell me what it is.  Let me try to help,
at least."

     I wasn't sure how to respond to that.  A dozen possible
answers came to mind, most of them sarcastic or cutting in some
way or another.  I bit them back... Sharon wanted to help me,
and all I could think to do was to lash out at her?  I sighed,
looking away, trying to collect my thoughts.  She waited.  I
shifted uncomfortably in my chair.  She waited.  I opened my
mouth, and no words came out... and she waited, until finally I
was able to put something to voice.

     "I... don't know who I am anymore, Sharon."

     It was her turn to be silent.  She reached across the table,
taking my hand in hers... the touch was reassuring, comforting...
it was not until later that I realized quite what she had done,
and even now I'm not sure how to explain it, except to say that
in that moment she took a little of my fear as her own.  Her eyes
clouded with concern, but her gaze never wavered.

     "Jon," she finally said softly.  "You're *you*.  The same
"you" you've always been.  I can see that, even if you can't.  I
can tell this kind of thing."  She paused, then shook her head.
"There's more to you now, of course.  Echoes... images of
something I can't quite place.  But even that... it's still you.
It's just... more."

     I sighed heavily.  "Is it?  Is it really?  It was... it was
one thing to be a guy who turned into a girl sometimes.  What if
Ash is right, though?  What if I *am* the reincarnation of some
Senshi from the past?  What if I'm *supposed* to be the girl, and
I just ended up in this body by some accident of fate?"  I looked
up at her again.  "...what if my whole life is a lie?"

     She squeezed my hand tightly.  "Does the body really matter
that much, Jon?"  she asked.  "It doesn't matter to me.  I love
you because of who you are, not because of what you look like.
Your body doesn't tell you who you are.  That's something you
decide in your own heart... and your heart hasn't changed.  I
know.  I can see these things."

     I thought about that a few long moments.  "...I can't see
them," I answered softly.  "...I don't have your eyes."

     "No," she answered.  "You don't.  But you have me."  She
smiled a bit at that, holding my gaze.

     It was, of course, then that we were interrupted by the
arrival of our food, brought to us by the middle-aged woman who
was apparently the night manager at the place.  She smiled at
us with the knowing smile of a woman who had seen it all, lived
it all, and thought she knew what was going on between us.  I'm
sure we looked like the typical love-struck young couple, trying
to find our way in the world together, trying to make something
special out of even the least romantic of places.  It makes a
good story, I suppose.

     In retrospect, when you factor out the magic and the
monsters, the visions and the memories, the battles lost and won,
and when you get down to what this story is really about... she
probably wasn't that far off.

     But there's a lot to tell yet before this story is done,
isn't there?  And I should get back to the telling of the tale.

*****

     It would be ridiculous to claim that the issues I was facing
were resolved in a single conversation, even one as emotionally
charged as that one.  The truth is that my troubles were only
just beginning.  This is not to say, however, that the talk I had
with Sharon was fruitless; just her presence seemed to calm some
of my fears and leave me more at ease with myself... regardless
which 'self' I might be at the moment.

     After eating, neither of us really felt like sleep, so when
we got back to the hotel we found ourselves a quiet table in the
lobby and sat down to talk some more.  I still had a lot of
questions, of course... and I wanted to know what Sharon was
feeling.  I don't have her sight for what is in a person's
heart, but I could tell there was a lot on her mind.  Some of
it was my problems, I knew--Sharon had always been the worrying
type--but some of it was other things.  She'd talked about the
fear of how she was going to handle the secret identity issue,
and her concerns about the people we loved being caught up in
this... but she hadn't talked much about what it meant to her, to
actually *be* a Senshi.

     Her answer surprised me.  "...it's... well... I don't know.
The things I see, the things I feel, are beyond any words I could
use to describe them.  It's nothing like I thought it would be,
and it's... beyond my likes or dislikes or any such thing.  It's
just... I *am* a Senshi.  As long as I can remember I've wanted
this... and now it doesn't really matter if I want it or not.
It's just so *much*, it's kind of overwhelming."  She smiled at
me, then, and her eyes brightened some.  "...but it's wonderful
in its own way, even though it's scary."

     I considered that, trying to compare that to my own
experience.  In truth, I had been so caught up in the boy-girl
thing that I had never really had the opportunity to capture the
majesty of it all.  There was more to it than that, though...or
at least I thought so.  Sharon was different.  Different than me,
I knew... maybe even different than all of us.  Her powers
operated on a more spiritual level, whereas the rest of us were
almost purely physical, from what I'd seen thus far, and her
perceptions seemed to mirror that difference as well.  "I guess
I hadn't really thought of it like that," I answered.  "I mean,
the things Ash talked about, I could feel that.  I know there's
something deeper here... deeper than ourselves, deeper than the
powers.  I just... I feel like I should know, and I don't."

     Sharon nodded her agreement.  "I feel that, too.  It's
like we've really only tapped the surface layer, that there's
more beneath this, more to it than we've seen.  I wonder,
though... maybe we're just not ready for that yet?  The Senshi
in the anime and the manga grew in stages... maybe that was to
keep them from getting too overwhelmed?"

     "Maybe," I answered, not really convinced.  "It just
feels to me like..." I shook my head, running out of words.  "I
don't really understand it well enough to describe it," I
conceded.  "If I figure it out, I'll let you know."

     She smiled at me.  "Don't worry about it.  We'll learn in
time, I'm sure."  Her voice took on that reassuring, calming
quality again, and I found myself wondering if it was something
she did consciously or if it was just characteristic of her
abilities that they came on when she needed them.

     Either way, it soothed some of my concerns.  I was still
worried, though; we still had yet to truly comprehend our nature
and our abilities, and the fact that we had encountered two
monster attacks in two days did not speak well for us having a
lot of time for us to get our act together.

     I looked at Sharon again, trying to hide the concern in my
eyes, and resolved to myself to make an effort to figure all of
this out.  Sharon was the least combat-capable of the group, for
all that she might well be the most powerful among us... if we
failed, she might well be the first to pay the price.  I could
not let that I happen.  I would not.

     She sensed the change in my mood; I should have known better
than to try to hide it.  "...is something wrong, Jon?"

     I shook my head, trying to calm myself.  "I'm fine.  Just
thinking about some things."  I was, in fact, doing exactly that.
I was thinking about what I could do to better master my powers,
and learn my capabilities... and what I could do to convince the
other Senshi that we needed to do the same.

     Of course, for some that was much less of a problem than
others, as I would soon learn.

*****

     We never did get to sleep that night; by the time either of
us really started to feel any need for it, the sun was almost up,
and if we'd slept then, we'd have missed what was left of the con.
Considering how much of it we'd missed because of other concerns,
that simply wasn't going to happen.  There wasn't much happening
in the middle of the night, of course, so all we could do was see
what was showing in the video rooms.  That occupied a few hours,
anyhow, and after that we just walked around and talked some more.
It was oddly quiet for a con, I remember thinking, even for that
hour, but at the time I wasn't in a mood to complain.

     Of course, it says something about anime fans that the con
was still going on at all in the wake of some of the things that
had happened.  I'm not really sure what it says, exactly, whether
it's that we're somewhat acclimated to weirdness, or that we're
just really devoted, or maybe that we're just plain crazy.  I
suspect, though, that most of the crowd at the con, including a
lot of the hotel staff, simply didn't believe in any of what was
going on around them.  I can't really blame them... I was living
it and it was difficult for me to accept it, too.

     On the other hand, denial can only hold up so long.  I know
about that really well... and everybody else was about to get a
very unpleasant lesson in the subject.

     Cali and Ash got up about nine in the morning, which made
them the first people I'd seen up and about in a few hours.  Both
looked like they had not gotten nearly enough sleep; I could
sympathize, not having gotten any myself.  Still, Cali was in her
usual pleasant mood, and she grinned at the two of us when we ran
into each other in the hallway.

     "Kept each other up all night?" she teased.  "Was it fun?"

     Sharon turned red; I just laughed.  I was starting to get
used to Cali's... unique sense of humor, I guess.  Sharon, of
course, didn't think I should find it amusing, and the look she
gave me delivered that message very clearly, but I just shrugged
and smiled.  "We had some nice conversation."

     Cali smirked.  "Conversation.  So that's what they're
calling it now."

     That was too much for Sharon.  "It's nothing like that!  Even
if we wanted to, I have a roommate so we couldn't!" she nearly
shouted.  I blinked in surprise at the outburst, though there
didn't seem to be anyone else around to hear it, except for this
one kinda bishounen-looking blonde guy at the end of the hallway.
He must have noticed, though, because he was staring right at us.

     "Mmm-hmmm," Cali replied in her best smug, knowing tone.
"I believe you."

     "That's enough, Cali," Ash cut in, not wanting this little
war of words to escalate any further.  "I don't know about the
rest of you, but I think breakfast would be a very good idea right
now."

     The rest of us nodded our agreements; it had been several
hours since Sharon and I ate, and the rules of Senshi metabolism
were starting to kick in.  It seemed we weren't the only ones
affected, either; Ash had been unusually vehement for such a
mundane subject.  With that, we went off to breakfast.

     Or we started to do that, anyhow.

     As ever, fate had a different plan in mind.  The fastest way
to our cars from where we were standing was through the lobby,
and we had no sooner gotten there before an odd feeling of dread
came over me.  Evidently I was not the only one that felt it;
Sharon squeezed my hand tightly at almost the same moment, and
we all stopped dead in our tracks.

     It took me a moment to realize what was wrong with the scene.
Sunday morning at an anime con is usually a busy time, with many
con-goers in the process of checking out, loading up their cars,
and heading out of the place.  Here, though, there was almost no
activity.  In fact, there was almost nobody here at all, except
for the desk clerk and the bellhop...

     ...both of whom seemed to have fallen asleep on the job.

     "...I've got a very bad feeling about this," I heard myself
say softly.  When there was no sarcastic reply forthcoming from
any of the others, I knew that feeling was shared.  What had
happened here?  "Everybody fan out, look for anything suspicious.
I'll check on the clerk, someone see to the bellhop."

     "...right," Ash answered, not arguing for once.  I'm not sure
if she had the same suspicion I did, though I guess any Sailor
Moon fan would probably jump to the obvious conclusion.  I quickly
walked over to the front desk to check on the clerk... she was
still breathing, that was good, but nothing I did could wake her.
I frowned, my suspicion growing.  I glanced up at Ash, who was
having similar problems trying to wake the bellhop, even having
gone so far as grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him, to
no effect.  My gaze moved to Sharon and Cali, who were over by the
a pair of couches set up just outside the lobby area... they'd
found another one.

     I motioned to all of them, and we gathered in the center of
the room.  "...this just screams 'energy drain'," I said softly,
getting nods of agreement from the rest of the group.  "Most of
the con-goers are probably still in bed.  In fact, I haven't seen
anyone up and about at all in the last couple of hours... no.  I
have."

     Cali nodded, her eyes widening a bit.  "The bishounen guy in
the hall.  I've seen..." she thought about it a minute.  "I've
seen him before somewhere..."

     "He was watching the fight yesterday," Ash interrupted.  "I
don't like this."

     "...he can't be doing this alone," Sharon said softly.  "If
he's doing it at all.  I don't remember reading anything unusual
off of him, though I can't tell those things as clearly when I'm
not transformed."

     "Oh, he's doing it all right," Ash growled.

     "How incredibly astute of you all," a male voice spoke from
across the room.  We whirled as one to see the aforementioned
long-haired blonde bishounen standing in the hotel entryway...
with ten of his scaly green buddies like the ones from the day
before.  He was now dressed in a uniform of some sort, black and
dark violet, an odd melding of modern military with something more
regal... very evil-empire-ish, indeed.  "To think it took the
Senshi so little time to unmask my plot."  He smiled as I opened
my mouth to  deny it.  "Don't bother.   There's a reason the four
of you aren't still asleep in your beds.  Such a pity for you;
I'll have to kill you all."

     "You might find that more difficult than you think," I
countered, looking him over carefully.  He wasn't attacking yet,
for some reason... typical evil impulse to gloat, I guess.  "Let's
see... pretty-boy, evil powers, useless minions, funny-looking
uniform.  Dark General?"

     "Indeed. I am Fluorite, humble servant of the Queen
Amethyst." He sneered at me contemptuously.  "Such wit and
perception you have.  I would expect nothing less from the
legendary Andreon.  I do hope you've gotten over your little
cross-dressing problem, however.  You were much more amusing as a
whole man."

     That did it.  I didn't know half of what he was talking
about, but I understood enough, and even the rest of it seemed to
strike a chord somewhere deep inside.  "That's it," I snarled.
"Let's fight!"  The henshin pen was in my hand instantly, almost
as if summoned; I didn't notice, but the others had done the same.

     "GEMINI STAR POWER!"
     "CANCER STAR POWER!"
     "ARIES STAR POWER!"
     "TAURUS STAR POWER!"

     "MAKE UP!"

     I've always wondered why the enemy never attacked *during*
the transformation sequences.  Now I think I understand; the
General in question was opening his mouth to speak even as the
transformation began, and yet no sound came out until it was done.
It's almost as if a sort of stasis is imposed during the change...
or more likely that the transformation simply ignores the normal
flow of time.  Coming out of it, though, I could not miss the
words as he ordered his minions to attack.

     It took me about half a second--about the same time it took
me to dodge a barrage of energy blasts--to realize that we were
seriously outnumbered.  I could help with that, of course... but
I hated to split my concentration that way.  Unfortunately, it
didn't seem I had a lot of choice.  Sidestepping another blast,
I called out, "TWIN IMAGE!"

     The split was less mentally staggering this time than it had
been before; evidently my mind had learned something about
compartmentalization from the first time around.  This was good;
I would need to be as mentally together as I could manage for this
fight.  The enemy had formed sort of a half-ring around Fluorite,
such that we couldn't get to him without going through them first;
that was fine by me... with the strength of my Senshi form, going
through people was something I was good at.

     Aries had opted for something more akin to fire support...
with the fire taken entirely too literally.  I winced, hoping she
managed to not burn down the hotel while everyone was asleep, but
at this point we were fighting as much for our own survival as
anything else, and we couldn't exactly afford to hold back.  She
did seem to be selective about her attacks, though; with a cry of
"EMBER FLASH!" she pointed at one of the--monsters?  youma?  I
didn't really know what to call these things, since they didn't
quite look like anything out of the anime that I'd seen--and it
burst into a plume of flame before crumbling to ash.

     Taurus, like me, seemed to prefer the direct approach.  I
couldn't hear her voice over the sounds of battle, but the attack
was a familiar one, ripping a swath up from the floor in an odd
sort of waveform until it reached its targets, then exploding
upward under their feet, casting three enemies in different
directions.

     Cancer was hanging back, as was her role, providing shields
to each of us in turn when we were in vulnerable spots.  I could
feel her presence with me, too, as though she were lending me some
of her strength.

     I was thankful for it, because in this melee I needed all the
strength I could get.  With a furious cry I and myself charged at
two of the monsters, opting for the hand-to-hand route.  This was
what I was best at, I'd discovered... I was strong enough and fast
enough to literally pound my way through most enemies, and it
seemed an effective tactic.  Even as I pummeled two of them down,
though, two more took their place.  An energy blast struck one of
me at point-blank range, Sharon's shield materializing in time to
take part of the attack but not all; I staggered, stumbling.  My
other self stepped in with a vicious kick, knocking the monster
backwards, but then was struck hard herself.  I staggered back to
my feet, retreating a few steps for position, then jumped back
into the fray.

     The battle was not going well.  Fluorite himself was content
to watch, which was good... if he had any power at all, and he
almost certainly did, he would have tipped the scales completely
in their favor.  Even so, at the rate we were going it would be a
draw at best... and if Fluorite escaped with his life and the
knowledge he had acquired, we might as well be beaten.  I snarled,
throwing myself into the battle with renewed vigor, not sure where
the power was coming from but not questioning its source.  Even
with my best efforts, though, I could not turn the tide.

     Fluorite stepped forward in that moment, and I felt something
in my heart sink.  Now he *was* going to join the battle, I
realized, and we were as good as lost.  It was then, though, that
another voice rang out over the clamor, seeming to come from
everywhere at once.

     "STOP!"

     Amazingly enough, everyone did.  Even I--both of me--stepped
back from the fight, as did the creatures we were fighting.
Fluorite himself looked around, confused, trying to place the
source of the voice.  I myself didn't realize its source until I
glanced at Sharon... and followed her gaze to the young woman
leaning in the doorway behind Fluorite.

     The woman in question, shrouded a bit in shadow so that I
could not see her eyes, smiled.  She did not speak loudly... in
fact, her tone was level, almost soft, but her voice carried
throughout the room.  "Draining people's energy without their
consent is bad manners," she began, stepping slowly forward, "and
the green, scaly look went out of style ages ago."

     That was a familiar voice, I thought.

     "Taunting and attacking my friends... now that's just lacking
in class, and I won't forgive you."

     Another step forward, and my eyes widened with recognition.

     "For love, justice, and proper etiquette, I am the loveliest
soldier, Sailor Leo!"  She paused, striking a pose, stepping fully
into the light... and one Stephanie Pennington smiled.  "I hope
you realize that you'll have to be punished."

     I will reserve judgment on who the most lovely of the Senshi
might be, as I am obviously biased, but I cannot deny that Leo
presented a striking image.  Her fuku was white and purple, the
sort of deep violet that one associates with royalty, with long
gloves and thigh-high boots that added an air of threat amidst the
sheer beauty of her appearance.  Gold earrings and bracelets
served as additional accents, and her raven-black hair flowed
freely down her back.  She might not have been the prettiest of
the Senshi--but again, I'm biased--but she definitely had the best
outfit going.

     Then again, considering who this was, she'd probably figured
out how to customize it.

     The imposed peace, punctuated by the fact that *everyone*
had turned to stare at Leo, lasted about ten seconds.  Then, if
the newest Senshi had wanted to find herself on center stage she
had surely gotten her wish, as *all* of the enemies present,
including Fluorite, advanced on her to attack.

     She was ready; dancing away from the energy beams with an
uncanny grace, she laughed as they tried to pursue her back
through the doorway.  "You know if you give a girl that long
to set up her attack she'll have something big planned," she
taunted, coming to a stop just long enough to gesture with her
left hand.  "LION'S ROAR!"

     The sonic burst tore through the enemies crammed into the
narrow space with frightening effectiveness, shattering the glass
doors and every window in the front of the building in the
process.  Monsters were flung in all directions as if someone had
set off an explosive in their midst, clutching their heads in
pain.  Fluorite, for his part, managed to stand his ground,
but several cuts from flying shards of glass had scarred his
perfect features.  For a moment he stood there shaking in fury,
then a cloud of the glass fragments lifted itself up from the
ground and flung itself in Leo's direction.

     Somehow she managed to sidestep that attack, but Fluorite
was bearing down on her quickly.  His minions, on the other hand,
were still disoriented from the sonic burst, and while it
didn't look like any of them were dead yet, some of them were cut
up pretty badly.  It was time to finish the job.  Merging the two
of myself back into one, I picked out one of the monsters who was
trying to crawl back to its feet and charged.

     This wasn't a named attack.  It wasn't even a magical attack
in the strictest sense.  This was a magic-enhanced haymaker.
I could feel the power surge through my veins as I threw all my
weight into the punch.  There was an audible, tangible crack as
my fist met its jaw, lifting the monster off the ground and
slamming it into the stone wall some ten feet away.  It never hit
the floor, just disintegrated in a cloud of dust.

     For a moment I just stared at my hand, not quite sure what
I'd just done.  I knew my Senshi body was strong, even
superhumanly strong... but that was a punch worthy of a place in
DC Comics.  The other Senshi couldn't do that--at least not that
I had seen--where did all this strength come from?

    I didn't have long to ponder it; even as the other Senshi
jumped into the battle, with Aries throwing streams of fire and
Taurus detonating sections of the floor beneath our enemies, I
discovered I'd just attracted my own share of the attention.  I
didn't duck the first punch, and only the familiar gold flash of
one of Sharon's defense shields saved me from a lot of hurt.
After that I was more aware, dodging, trying to counter.  I'd
taken a little martial arts, but I wouldn't have called myself
good.  Fortunately for me, these monsters seemed more chosen for
brawn than skill.

     I ducked a claw swipe over my head, retaliating with a back
kick to the offending monster's midsection.  It didn't have the
force of my punch--I hadn't put that kind of concentration or
build-up into it--but it was sufficient to get the creature off my
back for a moment, dropping it right in front of Aries.

     "Flame Blaster!" Aries called out, ignoring the monster I'd
deposited at her feet to unleash a stream of fire at Fluorite's
back.  Fluorite, evidently, was not so unaware as she had thought;
he gestured, and a cloud of glass shards rose up from the ground
to intercept it, detonating the attack in a spectacular fireball.
Aries spat a curse and stepped back as the minion at her feet
stood up to attack her.

     Taurus cast a concerned glance in Aries' direction, but she
was too caught up with her own crowd of monsters give any aid.
I wondered why she hadn't used her Golem Charge attack when it
occurred to me... there probably wasn't enough Earth under the
floor to generate the giant bull in question.  Instead, she
settled for small, short-range versions of her Blast Wave, taking
on one attacker at a time.

     Sharon moved around toward the doors, trying to get into a
position where she could see, and possibly assist, Leo.  One of
the monsters tried to fire off an energy blast in her direction,
but Aries was quicker, picking it off with one of her incendiary
spark attacks.  I edged in that direction myself, in case anyone
else got any ideas, though the monsters I was fighting were
already giving me more than I could handle.

     The movement, however, showed me more of what was going on
on the outside of the entrance, where Leo was doing everything
she could simply to avoid being hit by a rampaging Dark General.
Sharon threw a quick shield around her, allowing her to stand and
deflect the first barrage of glass, letting her set up a sonic
burst as a counterattack.

     Fluorite, though, was ready for that, too.  No sooner had
Leo unleashed the attack then the General disappeared.  I felt a
something then, a sudden burst of fear, and I whirled, turning my
back on the monsters I was fighting... and in the next half-
second the General appeared immediately behind Sharon.

     "NO!" I shouted, already in motion, blindly charging at
Fluorite.  Sharon whirled sharply, her eyes going wide with fear
as he raised his hand to unleash some sort of attack.  Energy
blasts seared my back as I leapt at him, the blade forming in my
hand; they hurt, like nothing I had ever felt before, but the
impact only pushed me forward.  I raised my hand to drive the
blade into Fluorite's back as his hand started to glow.  I could
see the crystal spikes forming at his fingertips.  I couldn't
make it.  I wouldn't make it.  I *had* to make it, somehow.  I
closed my eyes in silent prayer for speed...

     ...and felt the blade in my hand pierce flesh, even as I
opened my eyes again to see Fluorite enveloped in an explosion of
stone and fire.  I was too close to it; the blast threw me
backwards, casting me onto the glass-covered ground several yards
away.   There was a scream, an inhuman, alien screech of pain as
Fluorite writhed in mid-air, wreathed in a corona of fire and
pierced by multiple shards of concrete ripped up from beneath
the floor.  I lifted my head to look at Sharon, to see her
stumble backwards, the ground around her perforated with crystal
spines... and breathed a deep sigh of relief.  She was unharmed.

     The sonic burst assaulted my ears next, an concussive blast
of force that slammed my head back into the ground.  It was too
much... my vision blurred, and I knew I would not stay conscious
much longer.  It was also too much for Fluorite, the convergence
of elemental forces literally tearing him apart.  For a moment I
saw another image of him, a monstrous figure not unlike the
creatures at his command... and then, suddenly, there was nothing.

     No... not nothing.  There were still monsters--Fluorite's
minions.  I tried to get up, to rejoin the fight, but just the
effort of rolling over to my stomach and pushing myself up to my
knees left me dizzy and disoriented; standing would be impossible.
Sharon quickly came to my side, kneeling beside me; I could
scarcely see her, and her voice was distorted to my ears, but I
knew her presence and felt the touch of her power.  The pain
ebbed, my vision cleared... still I could not stand, but now I
could see, as the three standing Senshi unleashed their powers on
the remaining enemies.

     It was a mismatch, and over quickly; deprived of Fluorite's
leadership, his minions were uncoordinated and disoriented.  By
contrast, Aries and Taurus showed the signs of having worked with
each other for some time, and Leo seemed to be a quick study;
within a few short moments they had encircled the monsters and
blasted them to dust.

      I glanced at Sharon, sighing deeply.  I could see the strain
on her features, and realized it was taking all the power she
could manage to keep me upright and conscious.  I shook my head
at her; she had given up enough of her energy already, and the
battle was over.  "...save your strength," I told her softly.

     She shot me a concerned glance, then reluctantly nodded.
The dizziness came over me quickly as she ceased her efforts to
hold it back, and I slumped forward into her arms.  I was fading
quickly; unconsciousness seemed so much more comfortable than
what I was feeling, and I was so tired... I did manage to give her
one more smile, though--a small one, to try to tell her I was
okay--before I did give way to the blackness.


*****

     I awakened in a familiar position, if one made somewhat less
pleasant by the combination of a great deal of pain and the fact
that I was still in my Senshi form.  I mention the latter point
mainly because it was a disturbing experience to awaken and find
myself female... this body feels things differently and reacts to
them differently as well, and in the half-conscious state that
comes with having just been awakened the unfamiliarity was
disorienting and uncomfortable.  The pain, well, I don't think I
need to explain that.  Having been blasted, burned, and slammed
down on a floor covered in sharp glass, I was not in the best of
condition, Senshi resiliency or no.

     As for that familiar position?  I was laying on Sharon's bed.
Sharon was beside me, having already de-transformed; she still
looked very tired, but otherwise seemed okay.  Her expression as
my eyes turned to her as I stirred enough for her to notice was
one of relief.

     "How are you feeling, Jon?" she asked, softly enough for the
others to not hear from where they were sitting across the room.

     I shrugged a bit, and winced.  "Like I got in a car wreck and
went through the windshield."  She frowned at that, and I gave her
a reassuring smile.  "...I'll be okay.  Just really, really sore.
I'll want to take it easy for a while, I think, though."

     She nodded slightly, glancing at the others, who had not
seemed to notice yet that I was awake.  Stephanie was laying on
her own bed, though it seemed to me that she was doing so more for
comfort than any need to rest.  Ash and Taurus were sitting at a
small table by the window, both of them looking outside through
the thin curtains.  I couldn't see what they were looking at from
where I was, but the fact that they were looking out at all
implied that there was something to see.  Being the curious person
that I am, I tried to sit up so that I could see better.

     I should have known better than to try to sit up quickly in
my state... no sooner had I reached an upright position than I was
overcome by a sudden wave of dizziness which very nearly toppled
me off the bed completely.  I caught myself, with a little help
from Sharon who quickly grasped my arm, then rested my head on one
hand.  "Ow..."

     That got the others' attention, and they all turned to face
me.  "You should take it easy, Jon," Cali chided.  "You took quite
a beating, and even with Senshi powers you're not indestructible,
you know."

     Stephanie's head jerked up at that; she looked first at Cali,
then at me, then at Sharon, and then back to me.  "Jon?  As in
Sharon's Jon?"

     I nodded weakly, producing another dizzy spell.  Deciding
that this sitting thing was not the best of ideas, I lay back
down; I'd just ask Ash and Cali what they were looking at later.
With a wry smile, I answered, "...the very same."

     Stephanie laughed, then shook her head.  "...I'm sorry.  I
shouldn't laugh about that.  It's just that I had guessed about
Sharon.  It was obvious, really; if anyone at this convention was
going to be a Senshi, it would *have* to be Sharon.  You, though;
I knew there was *something* up with you... I guessed that you
just knew about it, since there didn't seem to be a Tuxedo boy
running around.  But this... this I didn't see coming.  I guess
it explains a few things, though."

     "...you all know each other?" Ash asked cautiously, seemingly
uncertain about what she should think of this development.

     Sharon answered before either Stephanie or I could.  "Well,
they both know me.  They hadn't met each other before this
weekend."  She turned on her side, running one hand lightly across
my forehead, just the touch seeming to dispel some of the
throbbing in my head.  Quietly I wondered at that... she wasn't
even transformed, and her touch alone was enough to push back the
pain I was feeling.  It reinforced something I was already
starting to believe--that even among the Senshi, Sharon was
someone special.

     Stephanie nodded her agreement.  "Quite that.  Sharon and I
have been friends for a long time.  In fact, we were sharing this
room at the con; it's why I suggested we come back here.  With all
the commotion, it makes a good cover story; we can claim we were
having some sort of party here and all fell asleep when the effect
hit."

     Ash nodded.  "It's not a bad plan," she agreed, glancing
out the window.  Her expression took on an air of concern, one
she quickly suppressed.  "...I think the police will be around
soon, and they're probably going to check all the rooms."

     I frowned at that.  "I should change back, then."  It was not
the most pleasant of prospects; I had no idea what giving up the
magical properties of my Senshi body would do with regards to my
wounds.  On the other hand, there was not really much of a choice.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated a moment, and felt the magic
ripple over me as my body and clothing resumed their natural form.
All in all, it was not so unpleasant as I might have expected it
to be; I felt much the same as I had before... except I felt like
myself again, which helped in a way that's difficult to put to
words.

     Sharon frowned.  "...my parents are going to have a fit over
this," she said softly.  "If anyone tells them we were having a
party in our room, that is."

     Stephanie smiled an amused sort of smile.  "Leave that to
me," she assured.  "I'll take care of it.  I wouldn't be telling
anyone you were in bed with Jon, though... that might be a bit
more difficult to cover.  And that makes twice this weekend, too."
Sharon groaned, anticipating the response that would come from
that.

     She was not disappointed, as Cali predictably jumped in
with, "See?  I *told* you that you weren't fooling anybody,
Sharon-chan."  She put a sort of emphasis on the familiar postfix,
as if referring to something in a discussion that I had missed.
Evidently the two of them *had* spoken in my absence the night
before... but perhaps not about what I *thought* they would.

     "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Sharon countered vehemently, then
looked at me, blushed a bit, and quickly added  '...well, not
*that* way, anyway,"

     Cali grinned.  "Mmm-hmm.  Right.  I'll have to ask him that
question sometime when you're not around and see what he says."
Her eyes fell on me, as if trying to read something in my
expression, and I hoped that I wasn't blushing as badly as I felt
like I probably was.  The disorientation I was already feeling
from my injuries wasn't helping me control my embarrassment any
better, and I was quite certain it was showing.

     "I think we have bigger concerns," Ash said coolly.  "This
convention is over, now... even if this wasn't the last day, it
would end after the amount of destruction we wreaked in the
lobby."  She turned to Stephanie.  "We were lucky today... lucky
that you showed up when you did, lucky that Fluorite had disabled
the security cameras as part of his scheme, lucky that nobody came
up to the hotel during the fight to see us leave afterward.  We
can't count on being that lucky again."

     I nodded, wincing slightly as that brought back some of the
pain.  "That's exactly what I was trying to say the other day,
Ash.  We leave too much to chance, we don't plan enough.  This
General was stupid; if he'd run away to his Mistress--Amethyst,
he called her?--with our identities, we'd have been screwed.
Fortunately for us, he was dumb enough to hang around and fight.
Even then, it almost turned very bad for us.  We've got to be
better prepared next time."

     Ash nodded slowly.  "Yes... this time I agree with you."
She glanced at Stephanie.  "We've all thrown around a lot of
ideas that we'll have to discuss, but do you have any
suggestions?"

     Stephanie smiled a bit.  "I'm glad you asked.  I've been
thinking about this, and I've got a few ideas that I think you'll
appreciate... I need to do a little research first, though.  I
suggest we meet again later this week; I can contact you all to
arrange a place and time.  Until then, have we all exchanged
phone numbers, email addresses, and the like?"

     Cali grinned.  "Email addresses... good idea.  I think we
all have each others' phone numbers, and we have the
communicators, but I don't think any of us had thought about
email."

     "We'll want to be sure we use encryption if we include
anything sensitive," I pointed out, "but really, any sensitive
information should be handled by the communicators anyway.  Email
and phone calls can be intercepted."

     Stephanie nodded.  "Exactly.  Places and times and such can
be done by any means, though... so long as we don't put in the
message *why* we're meeting."  She thought a moment, then added,
"The convention provides a convenient cover story for us, too...
if anyone asks where we all met, that is.  Like Sharon's parents,
who almost certainly will."

     Sharon scowled a bit, then sighed.  "Yeah, this is going to
be really fun to explain.  I'll be lucky if they ever let me go
to a convention again after this one.  Then again, with all of
this... we may not *want* to."

     I slowly sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed
to help with the dizziness, and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Don't worry about it, Sharon.  Your parents know me, right?  And
they like me... or at least I think they do.  I can help cover for
you."

     She tried to smile, to make me think that she felt reassured,
but I could tell otherwise.  This had her worried more even than
she was letting on.  I *would* help her, though.  I'd think of a
way... it was the least I could do.

     With that, it seemed that everyone had run out of things to
say.  The silence hung over the room heavily, taking its weight
from the shared concerns in all of our minds.  Ash and Cali stared
out the window a while longer; I sat on the bed, wishing my head
would clear so I could offer some better comfort to Sharon than
idle promises.  Sharon leaned up against me, resting in my arms,
her presence both a comfort and a reminder of exactly what it was
that had me so worried to begin with.  Stephanie lay still on her
bed, still lost in thought.

     I think nearly half an hour had passed without anyone moving
from those positions before Ash and Cali finally stood up, taking
one last glance out the window before turning to face the rest of
us.  "There are people up and about now," Ash told us.  "We're
going to go back to our room, and start heading out of here like
the rest of the crowd seems to be doing.  You three should
probably do the same... most of the people here are scared out of
their wits by what they're seeing, and we don't want to appear any
different from everyone else."

     Stephanie nodded, glancing quickly in our direction.  "I'll
stay here a little while with Jon and Sharon... he doesn't seem
quite ready to drive home yet.  If anyone asks, I'll come up with
a good story for them."  She glanced at Sharon and I and grinned.
"These two can't lie worth anything."

     Cali smirked.  "I've noticed that about them."  She winked
in our direction, then turned back to Stephanie.  "So... you'll
get in touch with us about when to meet?"  Seeing Stephanie nod
again in response, she turned to Ash, then back to us.  "That
sounds like a plan.  See you all later this week."  With that,
the two of them turned to leave.  I raised one of my hands to wave
at them weakly, getting a nod from Ash and a more enthusiastic
wave from Cali, and then they were gone.

     "Interesting pair," Stephanie observed after the door had
closed behind them.  "Very interesting."

     "...that's not the word I would use," I muttered.

     "Oh, but you should," she answered.  "It covers so *many*
things, and leaves just enough ambiguity that it forces people to
speculate on exactly what way it applies.  It's a perfect word for
them.  And us, really.  And this whole situation."

     "...may you live in interesting times," Sharon quoted softly.
"Never thought my life would qualify."

     At that, Stephanie grinned.  "Oh, *that* much I saw coming
from the moment I met you, Sharon-chan."  She glanced at me.
"Him, too, for that matter.  You were born for interesting times.
And now?  The fun's just beginning."

     Never have truer words been spoken, I think... and never have
I more desired to bring bodily harm on the one who put them to
voice.

*****
End Episode Four

-----

Next Episode:  Turn out the lights, the convention's over... it's
time for us to get on with our lives.  Of course, those lives will
never be the same as they were before.  Being a Senshi at an anime
convention is rough, but it's got nothing on trying to live as one
in the so-called real world.  If that wasn't bad enough, who's
this guy in the tuxedo who suddenly starts popping up when we get
in a fight, and how does he know where to find us?  Maybe it's
just part of the mythos, but you know how much stock I put in
that.  Next time?  Tuxedo Stalker!  And you thought being
surrounded by beautiful women would be fun.





Authors Notes:

It's good to be back.

This one was almost a year in coming, and it's been six months almost since
I released anything at all in the way of fanfiction.
I let myself get caught up and overcommitted in lots of little
things here and there, and I got away from my true passions, not
the least of these being writing.

Now, my muse is back with a vengeance, and this is the result: a
fourth episode of BSSG, this one almost twice as long as the one
before it, which was substantially longer than any previously.  On
top of that, I wrote almost this entire chapter (pretty much
everything but the first scene) in a week.  Of course, a lot more
time than that went into the planning of it, but putting that much
material to the page in that little time is unusual for me to say
the least.  One difference, I think, is that I'm taking this story
seriously now.  I've gotten too much feedback on it for me to
consider it a joke anymore (and it began as just that, something I
wrote on a whim for my own amusement and threw onto the list
because I thought someone else might find it humorous, too).

Now?  Well... let's just say we've only scratched the surface of
where this one is going.  So... those of you who wanted to see
more of this are getting your wish.  Many thanks to my prereaders;
for this chapter, there's been less prereading and more sounding-
boarding, but that's been more useful to me than anything.  I'm
not a Sailor Moon expert, nor do I intend for this story to follow
that one with any sort of precision (though it certainly mirrors
it in some ways!), so those who have sat and listened to my crazy
ideas as this started to take shape... I am in your debt.

The adventure, as they say, is only beginning.  I hope you're all
enjoying it as much as I am.

Douglas A. "Stormwalker" Reeves
9 August 2002


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