Finally looking this one over, trying to keep the backlog down this time as
well:

Only Human
An Ah! My Goddess Fanfic
By Roehl Sybing

Chapter One: Circuit Breaker

Cool. It's a Transformers crossover. :)

Cheers to anyone who remembers that character from the old comic book.

Keiichi pressed hard against the wall of the temple as the winds fought

his

every step.

Ah, Bell must be angry at him. :)

 He kept everything just under his eyes covered with his

rain-soaked jacket.  He was making his way to the circuit breaker,

And hence we have the title of the chapter already making sense.

---
Inside, the hallway was lit with candles and littered with buckets and

pans,

protecting the floor from a leak-filled ceiling that was doing all it

could

not to buckle under the forces of the storm.  Skuld was doing all she

could

to keep the floor dry, running up and down the hall, laying more buckets
here and there.  Sometimes one leak would stop

My. I've never had a leak stop once it's started, at least while the storm
is still going.

"But the roof!" Skuld exclaimed.
"It will survive this storm, I'm sure.  Everything falters now and then,"
Belldandy said, "It is simply a test of true strength.  Right now, we
must--"
The goddess stopped in mid-sentence as the lights around the house lit up
again. "Oh, thank Keiichi!" she said, relieved, "He must have found the
circuit breaker."

And electorcuted himself in the process. :)

"Alright!" Urd said, "Now I can watch my program again!"
Quickly, the three goddesses returned to what they were doing.  Urd, of
course, went back to her room, not lifting a finger to help Skuld clean

the

floor or protect against the leaky ceiling.

I'd drop that bit since we know she wasn't doing it before.

they're--"
"It's OK!" Keiichi said,

that's more of a shout. I'd switch it to 'okay,"

smiling, "Just damp, is all.  How's dinner coming

along?"
"It's almost ready," she said, almost not paying any thought to the food,
"Are you sure you don't need any help with your clothes?"
Now that was not such a bad idea, Keiichi thought to himself.  He would've
easily dropped all of his defenses, if it weren't for Skuld in plain

sight,

crawling around to deal with the puddles on the floor but able to listen

to

their conversation.

Heh. True. She'd nix it fast.

"Do I...fail to meet your expectations?"
Keiichi turned his head, startled by the question but not knowing its
meaning.
"I mean, when you said I was perfect and I said that I was not.  Does
that...disappoint you?"

When women ask questions like that, it's always a bad sign.

Belldandy was right behind Keiichi, "Skuld, dear, do you--"
Suddenly, the lights in the house flickered as the goddess pressed her

hand

against the wall.  Keiichi turned around; Belldandy was being

electrocuted.

Oops. Doubt if that will lay her out, though.

"Sister, maybe you should take it easy!" Skuld said.
"Yeah, Bell," Keiichi added, "You should--ow!"
He gripped his shoulder.  It was in pain, after hitting the deck with such
great force.
"Let me look at that, Keiichi," Belldandy said, not minding her younger
sister's advice.  She lifted up his sleeve, and his shoulder had suddenly
become swollen with red. "Oh, you're hurt!  I can take care of the pain,"
she said, covering the injury with her hand.  The goddess closed her eyes,
praying for healing to come to him.
Yet, nothing happened.

Ah ha. So now she's 'Only Human' :)

The thoughts of healing would have channeled from

her mind and to her hand and into Keiichi's sore shoulder.  But it hardly
happened as expected.  In fact, it didn't happen at all.

Don't care much for the phrasing. I'd just say 'sore shoulder, but nothing
happened.

  Of course,

Keiichi, not knowing what Belldandy was doing, didn't expect anything to
occur, but gathered that something was wrong if she stood beside him in
quiet emotional shock.
"Belldandy?" Urd said.
"It's not working," Belldandy said to her older sister.
"What?"
"I can't.my power!"

can't access (perhaps?)

"That's the thing.  The projection is a two-way connection between Earth

and

the Yggdrasil system.  The electricity was sent through Belldandy and up

to

Heaven, and the connection was severed."
"So," he said, "Why is she still here?"

Urd: Plot contrivance, most likely.

Belldandy: Hush. You're breaking the fourth wall.

"Well," he insisted, "How long?"
Belldandy had no answer.  She looked at Urd, who instinctively looked

away.

"It could be tomorrow," the elder sister said, "But it could be weeks from
now, maybe more!"
---
"Maybe more." rung in the ears of Keiichi.and Belldandy as well.  Still,
Belldandy persisted in not making too much of a problem out of her plight.
It took a day or two before the others hid their concern, and went on with
life as best as could be carried out.  Urd kept a line to the system
technicians of Yggdrasil open every day; some days there were progress,

was progress

others days there were not.

was not

put pressure on the wound, and brought it against her lips to wipe away

the

blood.  It stung with pain, being exposed to the open air.
"Damn!"
The word barely escaped Belldandy's mouth before she noticed what she had
said.

Heh. She slipped.

be this way in front of the others.  The Yggdrasil technicians over the
phone had assured her that her brief disconnect with heaven was temporary.
She could withstand these sensations for a little while.  She could
withstand being human, being without her powers, in a world of humans.

Yes!

With a bit of confidence, she could overcome this sudden misfortune.
An emotion familiar to her - happy resolve - returned.  Belldandy was
determined to take on the day with her revived belief in herself.  She had
no choice, but she nonetheless believed herself to be ready for any
challenge that faced her.

Hmm. So it will be a learning experience for her, to sat the least.

and her reaction to to the sensation grabbed the attention of the others,
still on edge given her current state.
"Belldandy?" Urd said instinctively.
"Come to think of it, this tea IS rather bitter--" Keiichi said, not being
able to stop himself before realizing he had forget who had made the tea.

Heh

"Was in the neighborhood," she said, smiling, "What're you doing to your
forehead?"
"Me?" he said, habitually rubbing his hand across his forehead, "Uh, I
spilled something on it this morning, so--"
"Uh-huh," she said, unconvinced but unconcerned, "So, how's Belldandy
doing?"
Keiichi turned his head for a moment, hearing laughter outside on the
residence grounds.  Belldandy was out there along with her sisters.  His
face expressed contentment after being reassured of normalcy, and he said,
"She got hurt pretty bad, but it's nothing that she can't handle."
"I'll bet!  She's a fighter, I'm sure of it," Chihiro said, walking

towards

the stack of machine parts that Keiichi had set up, "So I guess you two

will

be ready for the race next weekend?"

Hmm. This could be problematic.

day, won't you come on outside?"
He was absolutely flushed, spots of red filling his cheeks.  Never had
Belldandy been such a flirt with him, and he knew not what to make of her
new attitude.

I'd drop the 'he...attidtude.' The blush says it all

"Does that not make you happy?"
Keiichi gasped, "Yes!  Oh, yes, it does!  But--"
"Then let's go somewhere.  Anywhere," she said, spinning around once for
Keiichi.  Suddenly, she stopped.  Her cheery composure turned to one of
slight caution, "I don't know what's happening to me, Keiichi."

Hmm. Too much too fast, perhaps.

"Gee," Keiichi said, gritting his teeth, now finding his ego suddenly
bruised, "Thanks, Urd."
"I suppose you need some magic potion from me, one that'll lead to a
storybook interlude at the end of the night.  What do you say?"
"I can take care of myself," he said, confident of his seldom-if-ever-used
dating skills.

You don't really need them when you have a goddess devoted to you. :)

"You think I should let her do as she pleases, even if--?"
Urd grinned, "Let me put it this way.  Some birds are just so beautiful,
they simply need to fly.  And if I were you, I wouldn't keep my bird caged
up."

Interesting way of putting it, still, Bell's unused to this and should be
kept a close eye upon.

"Ah!" she cried, falling out of the seat and onto the rocks of the ground
beneath her.

Now she can experience the delight of having the wind knocked out of her. :)

Keiichi looked up, holding a dipstick in his hand, "There's not a drop of
motor oil in this thing!  It was bound to break down!"
The woman stepped back, distraught, "Don't you DARE say that!  Not today!"
"I'm afraid so," he said, regrettably.
She tore out her hair, not knowing what to do. "I don't know a thing about
cars,

Obviously. :P

"I just spent most of this morning driving up the countryside, and I still
got another three hours to go, so I suppose I'm in the middle of nowhere

I wouldn't call it 'the middle of nowhere' even for Japan.

about it."
"Ah!" she cried, "I love you, Keiichi!"

Oops. Bell might not react well to that.

"Well, uh," Belldandy said, laughing, "We're not really, um--"
"Ah, I see," Miyo replied, "Well, anything's possible, I suppose!"
"Keiichi, are you OK?" the goddess asked.
"Yeah," Keiichi said, picking himself off the floor, "If I start now, I
could have the car ready to go in a couple of hours."
"You're kidding!" Miyo said, obviously surprised.  Keiichi nodded, to

which

she said, "Isn't he great?"
Belldandy agreed silently, "Yes, he is."

If she spoke it, it wasn't 'silently'. Softly, perhaps.

did not see her older sister creep up from behind her.
"Is it possible?" she asked, "I mean, is it possible at all?"
"Urd!" Belldandy replied, startled, "I don't know what you mean."
"Well, I don't know, you've always been so protective of Keiichi, but

never

like this!"

True. She does tend to be protective of him at times.

"Gives you a lot to talk about, I suppose."
Miyo paused, and said, "Oh my God, I get that a lot.  Do you think I talk
too much?"
"Well, uh--"

let's just say, 'an awful lot', Keiichi said diplomatically.

"Really?" Miyo asked, "That's great!  Well, don't you worry about it right
now.  I came here to tell you that your Belldandy made some lunch."
"What?" he cried, "That was twenty minutes ago!"

Heh

"I know," Belldandy replied, almost whispering.
"Then what--?"
"I trust you, Keiichi!  With all my heart, I trust you.  It's just...HER
that I don't trust!"

Heh. Nice reaction.

The silence returned once more, as Keiichi searched for a hint of
understanding to something he couldn't possibly consider about Belldandy.
"Are you jealous?"
She looked up once the question was posed.  Finally, she was confronted

with

her dilemma. "I know I shouldn't!"

shouldn't be!"

Every so often, the spectre that resembled Keiichi inexplicably abandoned
the figure that looked like Belldandy.  For any number of reasons, it

didn't

matter.  Every time, Keiichi left her behind, leaving the goddess in the
distance behind in despair.  As a final insult, the sequence would repeat
all over again.  There were slight nuances and variations, but the theme
remained the same, and it was terrifying each time for Belldandy.  Until,
that is, she could bear it not one minute more.
"STOP!"
The door opened and, once again, Keiichi stepped through it.  Only this
time, the bed that server

served

---
I'm sorry, Keiichi, but though you made a promise to me, it is I who must
leave.  Not for long, just to sort out those emotions that I am not fit to
handle.  I shall return, of that you can be sure.  For now, please believe
me if I say that I will never leave you, but until I can be confident of
anything, I must simply leave. - Belldandy

Hmm. Bit extreme. We'll have to see what happens next.This was a nice one.
Good pacing, prose was nice. It flowed well.

D.B. Sommer

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'