Subject: [FFML] [C&C][fanfict][Xover][1st Draft][Ranma/SM]Awkward Consequences: Chapter 9a
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 8/5/2002, 7:35 PM
To: Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@psu.edu>, "FFML (E-mail)" <ffml@anifics.com>


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Mon, 5 Aug 2002 16:53:19 -0400 Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@email.psu.edu>
wrote:

With strained breath, and a pulsating vein on her forehead, Ten'ou
Haruka slowly stepped forward, blocking off the only way out of the
{alley way : alley : alleyway}.

Once Ranma was {silence : silenced : quiet}, Hotaru clenched her fists and violently shook
her head. "No!" she cried, and she looked Haruka dead in the eyes,
"What are you doing here?! Why did you come here?"

Once again, an uncomfortable silence gripped the group. Ranma wanted to
say something, but he really didn't know what to say.

Weedhopper has learned some wisdom.

Haruka looked at Hotaru and winced, "I'm sorry Hotaru... I wish you had
just come to us in the beginning... I was angry, and said things I
{should : shouldn't} have..." Again, her gaze shifted to Ranma, "Maybe it would have
made dealing with this little jerk easier..."

Ranma stepped back. "Hey, what did I do?"

He winced as the sentence left his mouth. Bad reply.

Maybe not much though.

Haruka grabbed Ranma by the collar, and pushed him against one of the
alley walls. "I hope your sister was telling the truth... you damn well
better marry her, because if you don't I'll cut your damn {ball : balls} off! You
here me?! I will fucking KILL YOU!"

Louder.  Maybe some one in Tibet didn't hear you.

Ranma scowled, and pushed Haruka, causing her to put some distance in
between them. "I'd no control over what happened. I was drunk, and so
was Hotaru...." he paused for a moment, and sighed. "I'm stuck between
a rock an' a hard place here. If I don't marry {here : her}, you'll kill me...
a fate I'll welcome 'cause I couldn't live with myself. If I do then
I'll have the goon squad in Nerima after my ass lookin' for blood. It's
a damned if I do, damn if I don't situation. I know things are gonna be
tough for her... the next few months are gonna be hell on both of us,
but were gonna go through this together."

Hotaru looked down into her beef bowl and sighed. What the hell was
with these two? Haruka-papa just seemed to hate Ranma on general
{principle : principles}, while Ranma took ever one of her snide and threatening
remarks as a challenge to be met, feeding into her. Between all their
bitching and screaming, they barely had time to eat their food.

As I said before, it's a guy thing.

Haruka's face twisted into an expression of {shear : sheer} and utter shock. Her
head jerked from Ranma to Hotaru, and her eyes narrowed on the smaller
girl.

Haruka growled. "{Trust worth : Trustworthy} me ass... the little bastard just blabbed
in a public place."

"Well, your either a real baka, soaking blows even though ya can't take
'em or ya got some kinda huge magical {handicap : advantage}."

Haruka's eyes narrowed. "Magical {handicap : advantage}?!"

"No real fighter needs some skimpy {cheerleaders : cheerleader's} outfit to fight stuff
in. All it does is give ya a free boost. Power should be earned, ya
{should : shouldn't} just get it! Getting' power for free kinda drains the value, and
in your case, it's making ya get sloppy."

Ranma nodded, "Yeah, I do. You got potential, and even {not : now} that I know
what you two are, I still don't think {your : you're : yur} quite good enough as is."

Haruka's smiled faded, replaced by annoyance. "{Whys : Why's} that?"

Ranma sighed. "That doesn't mean you're are able to fight people who
{had : have} dedicated their entire lives to the Art in one on one personal
combat. While those skimpy outfits of yours might give ya a boost and
stuff, but it ain't enough ta make up for skill."

"Please do..." Haruka's voice dropped a decibel, and she stared Ranma
in the eyes coldly, "Listen, for Hotaru's sake I'm trying my best to
act congenial, but you are trying my {patients : patience} and my self control...
Don't piss me off."

Hotaru gawked at Ranma. His father {stool : stole} food of his plate{: ?}

Hotaru eyes narrowed. The more she heard about Ranma's Old Man, the
more she despised him. {Staling : Stealing} food from the mouth his own child...
what kinda of depraved individual was he?

"I suddenly feel like accepting you {sister : sister's} offer for training wasn't
such a good idea," relied Haruka in an unsure tone.

Left alone on the sidewalk, Haruka could only think of one thing to
say. "I really had that coming..."

It aught to give her something to think about concerning the odds when she
spars with Ranko next as well; even transformed.  Too bad they can't get
Nabiki to sell tickets, it should be quite a show.

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