And now, actual commentary on the story.

I like this. Quite a bit. It's always interesting to see "refugee" stories
like this, and the way this is being handled is most intriguing.

I do, however, advise a bit more proofreading. There's a lot of minor,
niggling grammatical and typographical errors that could be wiped out with a
careful proofread.

-------------------------------------------

Studio ELL: Back in Crack!
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The Eternal Lost Lurker
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http://www.livejournal.com/users/lurkerdrome



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