Hello Chris,
Nice to see you writing again, I always enjoy your works.
My only tiny nitpick with this particular one stems from your author notes
atthe end. I am no anatomy scholar, but for a woman of 5'10'' to be
muscular, she would need to weigh more than the said 130lbs. That weight is
more closely related to models who have little if any body fat and very,
very little muscle mass. If you had stopped the description before
mentionning a weight, I would not have had any problems with it whatsoever.
Like I said, it's a nitpick, but it's one that in my personnal opinion,
stemsfrom people lying about their weights all the time, thus creating
unrealistics expectations regarding bodies and appearances. I hate that.
:op Also, muscle weighs more than fat for the same volume, so for two
similar sized women, one muscular and the other not, the muscular one would
probably weigh up to 20lbs more than the not muscular one. Depending on
height, of course.
That said, I find the characterisation very interesting, and will eagerly
wait for the next chapter.
Cheers,
Diese
____________ "Eagles may soar free and proud, but weasels never get sucked
into jet engines." >>Cobalt is 5' 10" tall, muscular, and has waist-length,
electric blue >hair. She has a pretty, but not remarkable face. 130lbs.
Achorite is 4' 11" tall, slender, and has short blonde hair. She is
attractive, but skinny and short to the point of looking >undernourished
(for a human.) She has bright green eyes that are too >bright to be normal.
90 lbs. >>As always, all C&C is welcome. The plot is pretty much final, so
you >shouldn't expect it to change too much based on C&C. Discussion on it
is still quite welcome, however. >>For those who are interested, the first
couple revised chapters of 'The >Clan' are available at my website, along
with a bunch of new fanart. >Kudos to Dave Menard for his wonderful artwork!
http://www.furinkan.net/fanfic/ >>---------- >>>.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction
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