Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and co., and
there's nothing I can do about it. I don't make any money on this and
if anybody does, don't. Unless you actually have the rights to Ranma
1/2, in which case there's not much I can do to prevent it.
This chapter also includes several characters and situations invented
by other creators, and thus not belonging to me either. But listing them would
a) deprive you, the reader, of the joy of figuring them out, and b) mean I
would have to work out who owns/created all of them.
C & C?
CHAPTER NINE
"Er...Shampoo...here...here's Mousse", Soun said. "Here's Shampoo,
Mousse."
They looked at each other, not knowing what to say. A very old woman,
one of the Tendos' neighbours, walked up to them, gazing at them with
myopic eyes.
"Isn't that your daughter, Mr Tendo?", she asked the lamp-post.
"Er...That's Shampoo...", Soun said, somewhat confused.
The old woman turned to Mousse.
"How-do? I remember when you were just a child, running around in the
dojo...and...That's your husband, isn't it? How-do, Sir?"
"How do you do", Shampoo replied with a smile.
"I thought I recognised you both...Guess I ought to...I was here at the dojo
the day you were married. My, my, how excited we all were! That was a
real love match! Well, glad to see it turned out well and you're still happy
together...Good night."
"Good night", Shampoo replied, as the old woman left. "Mr Tendo...This is
a...a nice surprise..."
She walked over and took Mousse's hand.
"Mousse...come...come over to the dojo...we can talk there...will you?"
"Shampoo...", he began, as he slowly took her in his arms.
She kissed him.
"If you go out back", Soun said with a chuckle. "You'll find a koi pond...
It's not much different from the old one."
A group of schoolgirls entered the yard as they broke off.
"Look, Mousse. There's Hairspray..."
"This is a song by Leonard Cohen", he told the audience, "the reason I play
it is...well, Mr Cohen wrote this about the song: 'This song arises from an
over-used bed in the Penn Terminal Hotel in 1966. The room is too hot.,
I can't open the windows. I am in the midst of a bitter quarrel with a blond
woman. The song is half-written in pencil but it protects us as we
manoeuvre, each of us for unconditional victory. I am in the wrong room. I
am with the wrong woman.', and it sounds so familiar it's scary. Apart from
the name of the hotel and the year. Anyway the song is Hey, That's No Way
To Say Goodbye. And Minako, wherever you are, I'm sorry."
%I loved you in the morning
Our kisses deep and warm
Your hair upon the pillow
Like a sleepy golden storm
Yes, many loved before us
I know that we are not new
In city and in forest
They smiled like me and you
But now it's come to distances
And both of us must try
Your eyes are soft with sorrow
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye...%
Usagi was dressed in ragged bits and pieces of various uniforms (most of
which he couldn't quite identify) and looked, maybe not older, but more
mature and much more weary. She gave him a weak smile.
"So, did you find Mamoru?", he asked.
"Yes...it took two years of dimension-hopping, before I managed to find
_my_ Mamoru, it took another five to get back here. Mamoru...didn't make
it. He died on Earth-1853, two years ago."
"I'm sorry..." Almost unconsciously, they embraced.
"Is your offer still standing?", she whispered.
"Eh...uh...uhm..."
"Don't worry", she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "There's no hurry.
It's hundreds of years until the Crystal Tokyo Setsuna wanted exists, if it
ever will in this timeline, so he still has time to get reincarnated. If he
doesn't...let's see what we think about it then. After all, we have all the
time in the world."
"Yes..."
"And I think there's someone else who'd like to have a say in the matter...
isn't there?", Usagi said, looking over his shoulder...
"Mu Si."
As he opened his eyes he found his view filled by a familiar girl wearing
very little.
"U-ukyo !?!"
"You're still here! I dreamt you went back to Shampoo so I had to
check...I'm so happy!", she said pressing herself against him.
Blushing, he tried to simultaneously turn around and gently push her away.
"I-I wouldn't do that!! W-we're leaving together, remember!?...Right
now, we wait and hope Shampoo finds the rest of the celestial warriors
soon."
She was clearly disappointed, but before she could reply a servant
interrupted:
"Your Highness, Pantyhose requests an audience."
"Oh, I have to go. I'll have them prepare breakfast for you."
She was gone before he could reply.
Breakfast...Shampoo would be digging her way through an Imperial Palace
breakfast right now...
"It's great to see you again, Mousse", Akane said, as she sat down in the
opposite seat. "How's life treating you?"
"I'm doing okay. We've got a new movie in the works...It seems someone
heard of my misspent youth in Nerima and thought it would be a great story
for a movie. Focussing on Ranma, of course...Well, I suppose they'll
change the names and transfer it to Hong Kong or somewhere."
"So...Are you playing Ranma or yourself?"
"Tofu, I guess - I'm getting too old to play a teenager."
"Never stopped anybody else. Have you ordered yet?"
"No, I decided to wait for you. I thought you'd have herd of little Ranmas
with you. Is everything okay between you and Ranma?"
Akane hesitated before answering.
"No. He's even more useless than his father used to be. Genma at least tried
to work, occasionally - Ranma only cares about _his own_ training and
fighting...He's hardly ever here...I'm lucky I have Natsume and Kurumi
to help with teaching the students...And children...Well, we think it might
have something to do with his curse..."
"So, is Shampoo speaking to you again yet?", Ranma asked.
"No. She threw me out of my apartment and changed the locks. Then she
packed her bags, took Hairspray with her and went to live with _your_
mother."
"Well, she did walk in on you and Nabiki", Ukyo remarked.
"She didn't _walk_ in", Ranma pointed out. "She was carried in by Kuno,
looking for a secluded place. And _who_ spiked the punch with a love
potion?"
"Hey, the Gangster of Love's here!", Ukyo said, eager to change the subject
and finding the newly arrived Tarou ideal for the job.
"I heard that. If I wasn't stuck in this wheelchair...", Tarou growled.
"Cool it, Space Cowboy", Ranma replied. "Besides you don't turn into a
monster anymore."
"I can still kick your butt", Tarou muttered. "Just wait until I'm healed..."
"How are things going with Azusa?" Anything to get the discussion away
from the subject of Nabiki and Shampoo...
He sighed in relief as the girl reluctantly followed Kasumi into the kitchen.
"As I said", Cologne continued, "when the youth elixir affected Mrs
Saotome it changed her memory as well - she's forgotten a lot of things that
she, as a fourteen year old, couldn't know and adapted other memories to fit
the present. She knows she's related to Ranma but not Genma, so she 'must'
be Ranma's half-sister..."
"But why is she clinging all over Mousse?", Ranma asked.
"Easy", Nabiki said. "Her memories adapted to the present, remember? So
Mousse must be the one who looks the most like Genma did back then..."
"Sorry", Soun interrupted them. "Nodoka didn't even meet Genma until she
was seventeen and they couldn't stand each other for years. When I heard
they got married I was as surprised as you would have been if, say, Ryoga
and Ukyo got married..."
"So mom used to be 'your' Ukyo?"
"Oh no. I wish. More like Shampoo, with some of whatshername...Azusa
mixed in..."
Somebody came running into the room.
"Masaki-san?"
"Mousse-san", Sasami almost screamed at him. "I want the story, the whole
story. Now!"
"OK, OK. Now this is the story of a lil' old country boy, who came to the
city and met one of the sweetest little girls in the world, kinda got jealous,
didn't know what to do. But now the feeling, the feeling's growing, growing
so strong. I've gotta get back. I've..."
"Hey! Cut it out! Some girls just showed up at the shrine looking for you!
Martial artists. This has something to do with that guy that was beating you
up when Ryoko found you, right?"
"Some girls? What did they look like? What hair colour?"
"One was a pig-tailed redhead and the other had long purple hair..."
Damn. Ryoga had already found his way back to Nerima, and now
everybody would be looking for him and the stone...
He looked at Tarou, who looked back at him and shrugged. Then they
looked back at Cologne again.
"Forget it!", Tarou said. "Five grand's no problem. We'll have it for you in
the morning. Let's go, Mousse!"
Cologne froze them both with a stare.
"No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!", she screamed.
"Well, then", Tarou said. "I guess you're really up shit creek."
Cologne hit Tarou with her stick.
"I offered to help you."
"M-hm."
"You refused to take our money."
"M-hm."
"Then I said ' I guess you're really up shit creek'."
Cologne hit Tarou again. Then she started hitting both of them as they
retreated out of the room and tumbled down the stairs...
They stared at each other in disbelief for a few moments.
"I...", they both said at the same time.
"You first", Ukyo said.
"No, you first", he said.
The embarrassed silence returned.
"I can't believe dad did this!", Ukyo said.
"He engaged you to Ranma, didn't he? _I_ can't believe the Elders did
this..."
"I can't believe dad used to be a martial artist...A warlord!...The kind of
person who...who..."
"Would kidnap Akane in order to marry her if he was thirty years younger?"
"No, no...well, yes, I guess that's an accurate description."
"I overheard him telling Mr Tendo that."
There was yet another embarrassed silence.
"That _could_ explain why Nodoka doesn't like him..."
He heard the door open as Ran Ran stopped reading to him. After a
moment's silence, she spoke.
"Aren't you two a little young to be nurses?"
"Actually, were both far older than you", another girl's voice answered.
"But never mind that. We're here to make Mr Mousse an offer he can't..."
"He's already taken."
There was another moment of silence.
"You're an Amazon just like him, aren't you?", the other girl said. "OK,
we'll talk to you later. Now, Mr Mousse, my name is Washuu. How would
you like to leave all these machines and the body cast behind, and be as
powerful as you were before, if not more?"
"Miss, if you could make me able to move on my own again, I'd happily
storm the Celestial Court for you."
"I'll hold you to that promise..."
Setsuna was sitting in a corner, clutching her knees and rocking back and
forth. She looked and smelled as if she'd been there for a long time.
"Those moments...when...the blackness hit me...and the void would be
calling...", she whispered, staring blankly ahead.
"Setsuna?", Michiru tried. "What's happened?"
"Nothing can be altered...there is nothing to decide...", Setsuna whispered,
apparently unaware of their presence. " No escape,...no change of heart...
no anyplace to hide."
"So this is the great guardian of time", Yui muttered. "I expected
someone more...regal..."
"She wasn't like this, the last time we passed by", he said.
"Told a little lie...Stole a little gold...Broke a little vow, did you?",
Setsuna whispered. "Had to get your Prince...Had to get your cow...Have
to get your wish...Doesn't matter how..."
He stared at the familiar-looking redhead.
"Ranma? Is that you?...I thought you were dead!"
"Uh...it's kind of complicated...Well, you seem to have done good."
"Show business can do that to you. If you're lucky. So what are you doing
in Honolulu, Ranma? Oh, and do you want some hot water?"
"It won't help, I'm stuck this way. And I have no idea how I ended up here
...So, how's everybody? How's Shampoo?"
"Shampoo? Haven't seen her in years. Living happily ever after back in the
village, I suppose. Raising a family. With her husband."
"What? I thought you...she..."
"It's the same old story. Once she had recovered from your 'death' and
returned to the village, she decided that the guy she really had loved all the
time was one of the timid village boys with no interest in martial arts and
who never cared enough to protest against her engagement to you..."
"Could you please repeat that", he said. "I thought you just asked me to save
the Joketsuzoku."
"Eh...uh...I did", the girl said in a small voice, obviously shocked.
"Why should I?"
"B-but w-we're _your_ people. You're Joketsuzoku too. Moth...Shampoo
said you..."
"I'm not. They spent my first eighteen years pointing out that I wasn't a
_proper_ Joketsuzoku. Then they exiled me. I don't see why I should help
them after they put me through hell."
"Your brother doesn't see it that way."
"Well, if you've got him what do you need me for?"
"Because he's an overweight idiot who only cares about food and marrying
off his sons..."
"So you've already got him all figured out, everything planned, right down
to what grades your kids will get in school", he remarked.
"Yes...", Ami said. It sounded as if she was going to add something, but
changed her mind.
"Well...", he said. "If I ever fall in love..." He almost said 'again', as
Shampoo was still lurking in the corners of his mind and heart. "It won't be
planned." _I've_ learned that lesson. "I'll leave it to chance
and...chemistry."
"Chemistry?", Ami asked.
"Yeah, chemistry. I know an old woman who can whip up a love potion for
every occasion...but jokes aside, maybe one day I'll bump into someone or
see someone in the street or something and realise that she's the girl I've
been looking for all my life. _That's_ the way it works."
"Listen, Mousse", Akane said, grabbing him by the collar. "I had plans for
tonight. And now, just because you decided to be an idiot, Ranma has
decided to help Shampoo spy on you to find out what you're up to."
"Uh..." he managed.
"I've got reservations for two at a good restaurant and tickets to a show,
and I'm not going to waste them because you decided to play a trick on
Shampoo."
"I didn't try to..."
"So, _you're_ taking me out to that restaurant, your treat, and to that show.
Understand?"
"Why me?"
"Because it's either you or Konatsu and if I ask Konatsu, Ukyo gets mixed
up in this too. Besides, this is all your fault..."
The crystal shard on Shampoo's forehead shone like a third eye, as she
landed in front of him.
"My, what a big sword you have, Duck-boy. You're not going to use it on
poor little Shampoo, are you?", she said with a smirk. "You couldn't kill
me even if you wanted too. I heal too fast."
"I don't have to kill you, just incapacitate you until Cologne or Kagome
gets here. Cutting of your head and keeping it away from your body should
do that..."
Shampoo's face distorted with rage and disbelief. "You wouldn't!!"
"After what you did to Mrs Higurashi and Kasumi, there's nothing I
wouldn't do to stop you."
With a growl Shampoo let her fingers extend into claws and lunged at
him...
The sailor-suited girl wasn't doing very good. She was obviously no martial
artist and whoever was behind her powers had misunderstood 'offensive'.
Well, if _he_ had been sent to fight evil by blowing bubbles at them, he'd be
pretty offended. He had to get involved...discretely...Maybe the girl could
re-group if he distracted the monster...If he'd only had been wearing his
robes instead of this tuxedo...Fumbling through his limited arsenal he found
one of those novelty darts Ranma had given him. The monster yelped in
pain and surprise as a tulip embedded itself in its arm. Both combatants
froze and turned toward him.
"Well?", the girl demanded.
"Uh...Well what?", he said.
"Don't you have speech to give or something?"
"Uh...No...Just finish it off while it's distracted, OK...?"
He leaned on Nabiki for support as they walked out of the fortress. The
mass of Amazon and Musk warriors who had besieged it parted like the
Red Sea before them. As they passed someone started singing and slowly
more joined in.
"What are they singing, Mousse? And why?"
"I can't remember if it's a folk song or from an opera, anyway it's based on
an old folk tale...I'm sure there's a similar one in Japan...There's this
couple and the guy is kidnapped or something and the girl goes through
a lot of trouble to free him...The song is called The Couple Go Back Home
Together..."
"How symbolic. They're not very subtle are they?"
"At least they're not making gestures and smacking sounds..."
"Well, that's _our_ job." And then she kissed him...
"Eeek! Pervert!", the girl screamed and started pummelling him, and their
(rather compromising) position prevented him from doing anything about it.
Fortunately, after a few good solid hits she stopped as if she suddenly
remembered something. She stood up and looked _very_ embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I think I overreacted", she said as she helped him up. "Allow
me to introduce myself. I am the goddess Alecto. I'm here to grant you
a wish."
"A-a w-wish?", he stuttered. "But how? Why? Why me?"
"You called us, you nitwit. What do you think the Goddess Technical Help
Line is for? On second thought, don't tell me! Anyway, you get _one_
wish."
"A wish? For anything..."
He looked across the table at his three daughters. Their faces masks of
disbelief and anger.
"What do you mean, you don't know!?", Kyoko demanded.
"I've never met him myself, but your mother and I knew his parents very
well. You'll get to meet him soon, he and his father are on their way here
from Japan.", he explained.
"Great, yet another martial arts freak, just what we need.", Kagome
muttered, expertly ignoring Shinobu's glare.
He wondered if this had been any easier for his late father-in-law, and
whether this attempt to join the school would be more successful than his
had been. He wished Akane was still alive. Well, at least Ukyo wouldn't
have let Ranma get away with the kind of things Genma had done...
The redhead with the odd hairstyle crumpled the paper in obvious
frustration and, muttering, tossed it over her shoulder. It hit him in the face.
"Thanks a lot, ubangi-head! Right in my face", he said. "Try a
wastebasket next time." There was something familiar about that girl...
"These are called odango", the girl screamed at him. "Not ubangi! Odango,
Stupid!"
He uncrumpled the paper. It was a test, a pretty simple one by the look of it
- the girl had scored 30...out of 100.
"30? Who are you calling stupid, Odango-head?", he said, tossing the test
back to her. She muttered something under her breath and stomped off.
Back to the task at hand - this was a pretty big jewellery store. Maybe
the Silver Imperium Crystal was there? Still, that girl was pretty cute...
They stared at each other as the implications sank in. Presumably it was
being used to having Nabiki around to exploit situations like this that kept
them from screaming. Or maybe it was just the shock.
"This did _not_ happen. OK?", Ranma-chan said.
"No argument from me there. Nothing happened. Definitely."
The mutual staring continued for a few more seconds.
"Uh..._How_ did this not happen?"
"I dunno. I've been getting blackouts while in girl-form recently", Ranma-
chan muttered as she stumbled across the floor gathering her clothes. "And
Cologne said I stole her Book of Contrived Potions a couple of days ago..."
As he tried to shake off the effects of the chi-blast, he found himself looking
at a familiar looking orang-utan face flanked by an equally familiar slightly
feline one.
"Mei Xing...? Lucien...? Why...? What does the Free Company want with
me NOW...?"
"Not Lucien, Mushou. You're thinking of some one else", the ape told him.
"...and Mei Xing? She's _our_ friend now. There's no Free Company, not
yet...The Revolutionary won't be whelped for another hundred years. And
Hinoto is...elsewhere. We are a far superior hunting pack..." As he spoke
other shapes started to form around them...
He tried to open his eyes. He was lying on a bed and, from the feel of it,
covered in bandages and hooked up to various things.
"Oh, Mousse! You're awake!" Plum.
"Where am I? Where's Shampoo?...Is she OK?"
"I-I'm s-sorry", Plum said, the words sticking in her throat, "she...they're
all g-gone...Ranma, Shampoo, Father...they didn't make it."
"And...her?"
"If she wasn't destroyed, she's too weakened to do anything." So Tarou was
there too. "After the evacuation, the government nuked the valley. If it's any
relief, her draining of the springs' energy means the curses are gone..."
Akari smiled at him weakly.
"Isn't she beautiful?", she said turning her attention back to their newborn
baby. "What do you think, Hairspray?"
"She's so tiny...and red...", Hairspray muttered, sounding both
disappointed and fascinated.
At least she didn't restate her opinion that she would rather have a pony,
he thought. And Ranma or Ryoga had yet to show up with any offers
regarding their sons. Hopefully, Akane and Ukyo would already have
beaten any ideas in that direction out of them...
He smiled at the audience and the cameras again.
"And now...a letter...a hotel registration and a series of photographs...
which could add up to divorce, premature retirement, and possible criminal
proceedings for a doctor in Juuban. He's a former super-hero and a
LDP candidate for the Diet...that's Dr. C of Juuban...250 000 Yen...to
stop us revealing your name, the names of the three other people involved,
the youth organisation to which they belong and the shop where you bought
the equipment." How did Nabiki drag me into this...
"I was thinking about you", Shampoo said at the other end. "And I
remembered this unbelievably insane night we spent in Shanghai, like a
thousand years ago?...I mean, there's no way you could possibly
remember the..."
"Are you kidding?", he interrupted. "I think about that night all the time...
But that's not why I called. I called because I've met someone."
"Well, that's great. You haven't really had anybody since Asuka the..."
"You don't understand. I've never felt this way about anybody!"
There was a thud at the other end...
Acting without thinking he tackled Natsume out of the way.
"I like you too, Mousse, but could you stop groping me and tell me what's
so dangerous about that water?", she said, while trying not to start laughing.
_Then_ he realised what position they had landed in, and exactly where his
hands where. And his nose felt like it was going to start bleeding soon. He
stood up rapidly and tried to hide his nosebleed by turning the rest of his
face red too.
"Ooh, you're so cute when you're embarrassed", Natsume teased him
as she got back up...
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!", Asuza screamed at him.
"MY FAULT?!", he screamed back. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
WANTED HER TO BE A MASTER THIEF!"
"BUT IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR STUPID TRICKS SHE WOULDN'T
BE IN THIS MUCH TROUBLE!"
"Uuh...Mom? Dad?", Meimi tried. "HEY! LISTEN TO ME! He isn't
_really_ here to arrest me. We're going to a masquerade."
"NOT DRESSED LIKE THAT, YOUNG LADY...."
Suddenly, Nabiki slapped him.
"I've had just about enough of you!", she screamed. "Go on! Sit here in
your room until you rot. I'm sure that's what Shampoo would have wanted.
Just sit here and be tragic and bereaved and suffering like some shojo manga
stereotype. It's not as if there's other people in the world who are suffering
too! It's not as if f you have any responsibilities to anybody else! I'm sure
Hairspray will understand that you only have time for your own
suffering..."
Mousse wished the girl would shut up, or at least switch to a language she
was fluent in. It had almost been OK the first few minutes, but after
three days it was starting to get on his nerves.
"Shampoo not leave until Mousse pay for bike!"
Considering how she reacted to the caterpie, maybe if he found a big enough
bug pokemon, she'd get grossed out and leave...
"Psy-ai-ai", his companion agreed, as if it had read his thoughts...
"I don't usually impose on people like this", the dark-skinned, white-haired
woman said, putting her hand on his thigh, "please don't misunderstand
me. I just don't like to see people suffer." She smiled at him again and
moved a little closer still.
"I-I a-appreciate that", he said trying to ignore how close they were sitting,
"Could you please explain those...ways of leaving?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow", she said and kissed him...
He stared at the redhead. It wasn't Ranma, but she looked a lot like his girl
form. And her friend had looked so much like Shampoo from a distance.
She stared back at him. He should say _something_, after all, he couldn't
make the situation any more embarrassing.
"I-I'm sorry, Miss. I thought you were someone else." He turned to leave.
The girl stopped him before he could take a single step.
"N-no...Wait...Please..."
He looked at the purple-haired girl again as Ryoga's explanation sank in.
"Live together?! With you?!", he said to the girl. "Did I promise that? Who
the hell are you?"
"Hmpf...Defeat me and I'll tell you!", the girl said as she went into a stance.
"Really? Good... I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with some I didn't
know the name of!"
"Hah! You think you've already won? In that case you're mistaken..."
"Heh. It _is_ you, Mousse, no doubts about it", the purple-haired woman
said. "You look just like your father..."
"What?" This woman seemed to know him, or believe him to be this
Mousse character.
"Can you explain what is wrong here, Mousse?", the woman continued.
"You were to destroy humanity, but they are still crawling all over the
planet."
He looked from Shampoo to Ukyo to Akane to Akari, trying desperately to
concentrate on their _faces_.
"Uh...this is not what it looks like...", Ukyo began.
"Ah...eh...uh...well...anyway, we're trying to watch the game so could
you try to do whatever you're actually doing a little quieter?"
Then he made a quick and rather embarrassed exit...
As soon as he opened the door, Rei stormed in, visibly upset, and threw
herself on the couch.
"Rei-chan? What's the matter?", he asked, sitting down next to her.
Rei struggled for words for a few moments.
"I...I just had a fight...with Usagi...about you...us...Apparently, _you_
don't fit into Usagi's...No, Setsuna's plans for the future..."
He woke up staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. WAIT A MINUTE! He could
actually see the ceiling without his glasses!...And this wasn't his room.
He rolled over and saw a panda sleeping on a futon next to him. With
mounting worry he made his way to the bathroom, confirming his
suspicions about where he was on the way. When he looked in the mirror,
Ranma's face looked back at him, as surprised as he was...
"Xian Po...", Shampoo whispered, stroking the sleeping child's cheek.
"Almost the same. You never knew to let go of the past did you ;Mousse?"
"Get away from her", he whispered. "Please..."
Shampoo grinned, showing her fangs.
"I could make her mine. Remind you how helpless you are...How you
failed _me_..."
He was looking at the face of a giant robot, shoulder-deep in an unidentified
liquid.
"Th-this is my father's work?"
"That is correct.", a voice above him said.
He stared at the silhouette on a balcony above him.
"It's been a while.", his father said...
Was this how Genma used to feel, he wondered to himself. A vague but not
unexpected disappointment that his son was unwilling to do what he had to
do. Well, nothing else to do, then. He switched on a monitor next to him.
"Tofu...wake Shan."
"Can you use her?", the older man asked.
"She's not dead yet", he answered...
"You're imagining things", Ranko said, blushing slightly.
"Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave
without giving you a good-bye kiss?
Ranko fumed for a moment.
"I'd just as soon kiss a bull-headed yeti..."
"Oh no", Ranma protested, "Nonono. I'm not going to dress up as a girl,
princess or not. Not me. Not anymore. Do you hear me? Ne..."
The princess interrupted him, still looking at Mousse.
"I'm not talking about you, not when you're friend here looks so much like
my poor sister..."
"Hey! Wake up, sleepy-head", a familiar voice called.
"I'm dead, Shampoo. Just drop off the flowers and leave", he muttered,
turning over and pulling the cover closer around himself.
Her response was to pull the cover away, sending him spinning to the floor.
"We're getting late for school..."
"Shampoo! Shampoo! Get up!", he quacked. "You've got to transform into
Pretty Shampoo and save Ms. Tendo!"
"I...I can't believe it...", the girl whispered. "A-akari...my best friend...
is Pigsy Misa..."
"Mousse! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?"
"Frankly, Shampoo, I don't give a damn..."
"Who are you?"
"Assassin! Lone Duck and Duckling..."
"Ukyo Kuonji! I challenge you to a duel for the Rose Bride..."
"Alas, Poor Tofu! I knew him, Mousse..."
"I'm sorry, Mu Si. I cannot do that..."
"I'm Mu Si. Sorry 'bout this..."
He was standing in the ruins of a house made mostly of now broken glass,
by the feel and sound of it. It was in the middle of what appeared to be an
amusement park. Then everything went black as he faded into
unconsciousness...
* * * * * *
Shampoo, still carrying Hairspray, reached the ruins of the Hall of Mirrors
just in time to see Mousse topple over.
NO!...Damn!... Let's see...check if he's breathing first, then
bleed...DAMN!...OK, no-one's looking...*puff, puff* YOU ARE *puff,
puff* NOT GOING *puff. puff* TO LEAVE *puff, puff* ME ALONE
*puff, puff* WITH HAIRSPRAY! *puff, puff*...DO YOU *puff, puff*
HEAR ME? *puff, puff*
"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME!"
*puff, puff* Did I just call that out loud? *puff, puff* They'll never let
me forget that... *puff, puff* Is he breathing yet?...YES!...Well, just once
more...Just to be safe...*puff, puff*..."Mmmph!?"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MOUSSE!?"
WAPWAPWAP
"What did you do that for?", Mousse complained as the slaps brought him
back to reality. "Shampoo!?"
"I-I...I...Iwasjustgivingyoumouthtomouthresusciationtherewasnoreasonfor
youtostartdoingthingswithyourtonguelikethatandit'sbestforyouthatnobody
sawit", Shampoo said, blushing furiously. "I...I...It's good that you're
OK...Hairspray's here too...Akari, Mrs. Saotome...and a friend of theirs
should be here any minute." Tears started to trickle down her cheeks.
Hairspray loudly joined in moments later.
Mousse decided it was worth the risk to put his arms around them.
"My, my, my", Blumberg chuckled as he faded into view. "How touching...
Do you have any idea how much work I put into those mirrors?"
"You only have yourself to blame", Mousse muttered. "If you didn't want
them broken you shouldn't have surrounded me with them and told me to
find the way out."
"You, young man, have proven yourself a true nuisance and given time you
could possibly develop into an amusing but frustrating foil", Blumberg said.
"HOWEVER...That is an amusement I can do without. Farewell, Children."
Blumberg's hands began to glow and crackle.
Just as the energy bolt left Blumberg's hands a robed shape interposed itself
between him and his targets, taking the blast squarely in the chest.
A look of horror flickered over Blumberg's features before he started to
change. The rejected years washed over him, followed by the scars and
deformities suffered by Zelda before he shrivelled up and turned into dust.
The same changes in reverse flowed over the dying Zelda, turning her back
into the beautiful young woman she had once been before she too
disintegrated.
Moments later, Akari and Nodoka caught up with them. As the shock died
down, Shampoo realised what she was doing and quickly stepped away.
"Mousse! You're hurt!", Akari cried.
"I-it's mostly flesh wounds...Nothing serious", Mousse said.
"I think best bind them anyway", Shampoo said. "You bleeding on my
clothes...Anyone have bandages?"
"I guess the best we have are the bits of Mousse's robe that he hasn't bled
on yet", Nodoka said. "I'll take care of Hairspray."
"Pants too, Mousse", Shampoo said as Mousse handed over Hairspray
and disrobed.
"B-but...", Mousse began.
"Can't bind injuries on legs with them on", Shampoo explained. "Besides,
nothing I not seen before. Drop them."
"B-but...", Mousse began again, fending her off.
"If it makes you feel any better, I've got the stone", Akari said. "_And_ I
know how it works. Here."
"Th-thank you, Akari", Mousse said, still trying to keep an eye on
Shampoo. "Uh...How does it work?"
Shampoo used the opportunity to remove the now unprotected pants.
This, of course, jogged Mousse and some blood splattered on the stone.
It started to glow.
So did Mousse, with his hair standing on end.
His scream of pain was abruptly cut off and he collapsed again.
The figurine, now in the shape of a familiar-looking duck, fell from
his hand.
Ranma and Akane arrived as he was getting back up.
"Uh...What happened?", Ranma asked. "There was an explosion or
something and..."
"It's over", Mousse said. "He...the guy who was behind this...Wu Jing's
boss...is dead. We got the stone back...Where is it?"
"Is this right stone?", Shampoo said, picking up the figurine. "Was human-
like before."
"It has absorbed Mousse's curse, so now it looks like Mousse did as a
duck", Akari said. "Zelda explained it to us."
"Zelda?", Mousse said.
"The one who blocked...", Nodoka began.
"WAIT!", Ranma interrupted. "You mean that thing got rid of Duckboy's
curse? How does it work?"
"Don't bother", Akari said. "Zelda said it only works something like once
every...SHAMPOO! Put that shard of glass down! It won't work again for a
long time!"
"_What_ won't work again for a long time?", Ryoga asked as he and Genma
caught up with them.
"That thing we got at the shrine", Akane said. "The thing that caused all of
this."
"Someone on the other side gave it to Akari, who gave it back to Mousse",
Ranma continued. "It removed Mousse's curse..."
"I can't believe you let Mo...", Ryoga began.
"I like you just the way you are", Akari interrupted him with a smile. "You
know that."
"Yes...But..."
"Shush..."
"Now, let's go home", Genma said. "Wait...Where's Ukyo?"
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about her", someone said. "She's perfectly safe...for
now."
Ananzi and Lumpen appeared behind them. Once they had everyone's
attention Lumpen released the unconscious Ukyo from within the
trenchcoat.
"How about we trade?", Ananzi said. "The talented ms. Kuonji for a certain
stone currently in your possession. What do you say, Mu Si?"
"What have you done to her?", Ranma demanded.
"Nothing, really", Ananzi said, shutting Lumpen up with a gesture. "She's
no use as a hostage if she's dead."
"What makes you think we'll let you get away with this?", Ryoga growled.
"There's mo..."
Mousse gestured to him to be quiet.
"You can have the stone, no problem", Mousse said. "I mean, it doesn't
work anymore...It'll be as useless for you as for us."
"Oh, _we_ have no need of it", Ananzi said.
"We arre to brring it back to the forrmerr ownerr", Lumpen added. "It's the
prrinciplle of the thing."
"So you work for the people Tao Tao and Wu Jing stole it from?"
"He is sllightlly furrtherr back in the chain of acquisition than the whining
poseurrs they stolle it frrom", Lumpen continued.
"So, do we have a deal?", Ananzi said, poking at the slowly stirring Ukyo
with his foot.
"Sigh...Let us check on Ukyo first", Mousse said.
Ananzi and Lumpen moved back slightly as Ranma and Akane checked that
Ukyo was OK.
"Is she...", Shampoo began.
"She's seems alright", Akane said.
"OK...Here's the stone." Mousse tossed it to Ananzi.
"I'm still waiting for the explanation of what that thing is", Ranma said.
"The olld felllow cllaimed it was just some trrinket thrrown togetherr
by some Neanderrthall sorrcerrerr who rreallised it is saferr forr immorrtalls
not to stand out in a crrowd", Lumpen explained. "But, then again, he is an
inveterrate lliarr."
"Now then", Ananzi said. "As I am an honest Puck and all that jazz -
farewell."
Lumpen wrapped his trenchcoat around him and he vanished.
"WAIT A MINUTE!", Shampoo shouted. "That all explanation we get?"
"Yes."
With that, Lumpen folded himself into his trenchcoat, which then
continued to fold into itself, disappearing from view.
THE END (for now)
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