Quicksilver's Quill Offers
Mystic Eyes
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright (c) 1996-2000
Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo.
 I'm merely borrowing the concept and characters for
fun.
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice
Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part
of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An
On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as
long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002
by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or
part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in
commercial documents or products, or used for
promotional purposes. 
AN: Thanks Juli, my beta... For those who have been
encouraging this, much to my surprise.   Ciel Envoye,
Ely, Stef... thank you.  A Special thanks to Jo and
Calvin, whose immensely cheering Feedback letters
reminded me why I write.  Previous parts:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=648059

***************************
PART THREE: MOON
Keywords:
Fear, Illusion
Imagination, Bewilderment
***************************


If you look around the room right now, you will
(probably!) see people and objects that are comforting
in their familiarity. Everything is exactly as you
expect it to be. You know that if you closed your eyes
and opened them, the room would be the same.
But...have you ever lost the familiar to find, in its
place, a world so extraordinary you can't even grasp
it? This is the experience of the Moon. 

Most of the time we live in a tiny pocket of normality
that we wrap around us like a security blanket. We
turn our backs on the mysterious universe that waits
outside. From time to time we may sneak a peak with
our imagination, or venture out through fantasy or
expanded awareness. We can be thrust out there
unprepared through drugs, madness or intense
experiences such as battle. 

The Moon is the light of this realm - the world of
shadow and night. Although this place is awesome, it
does not have to be frightening. In the right
circumstances, the Moon inspires and enchants. It
holds out the promise that all you imagine can be
yours. The Moon guides you to the unknown so you can
allow the unusual into your life. 

Sadly, we are usually afraid of the Moon. In readings,
this card often stands for fears and anxieties - the
ones that come in the darkest part of the night. Card
18 also stands for illusions. It is easy to lose our
way in the moonlight. Be careful not to let deceptions
and false ideas lead you astray. Sometimes the Moon is
a signal that you are lost and wandering aimlessly.
You must find your way back to the path and your
clarity of purpose. 

***************************

	Hitomi didn't know what to say or do.   Her eyes were
transfixed on the swinging pendant.   Van looked
slightly surprised as he saw the shock written all
over her face, but he quickly grabbed the necklace and
shoved it back under his shirt.   "Sorry.   I've had
it as long as I can remember- it may look feminine,
but it feels like a part of me."

	She opened her mouth and moved it wordlessly, unable
to find anything intelligible to say.   Then she
panicked.

	The door swung open almost magically, since she
doubted that her fumbling fingers were capable of
anything responsible.   Van's expression changed from
slight embarrassment to full-grown confusion, as he
called out her name, but it was too late.  She had
already managed to stumble out of the car, and started
to run.

	She darted into the dorm, throwing her ID through the
security partition at the uniformed security officer
was sitting there.    The security officer swiped her
card, and the magnetic strip served to open interior
door.   She darted in, glancing back to see if Van had
followed her.

	He hadn't.

	She wondered if she was more disappointed or
relieved.

	The officer looked at her, and blinked.   Hitomi
remembered then that the campus put security on each
of the front desk between 11 and 6, instead of
students.  The officer wore a nametag, "Takamura."

	"Kanzaki-san?" the petite officer said, holding
Hitomi's ID.   "Are you okay?"

	"I'm fine," she said.   It had been a short run, not
even enough to wind her, although she was still
feeling shaken from the sight of Van's pendant. 
Still, she was sure she was dead white, and her green
eyes probably stood out against her skin like lanterns
in the dark.   

	Takamura scanned the girl, noticing the party clothes
and over-sized jacket.   "Kanzaki-san, did you have a
problem with a date?" she asked gently.

	Hitomi blinked in confusion.   "No..." Why wasn't
Takamura giving her back her ID?

	 Takamura slid out from behind the desk and walked
around.   "There's no shame in coming forward if a boy
did something to you.   It can happen to anyone."   

	"Nothing happened!" Hitomi insisted as it dawned on
her that Takamura suspected that she had possibly been
a victim of date rape.

	Takamura seemed unconvinced, but didn't push.   She
handed Hitomi's ID back over to her, wrapped up in a
piece of paper.   Hitomi took it and darted down the
hallway, her sandals not inhibiting her running a bit.
  She fumbled with the keys to her door for a second
before she managed to unlock it, letting herself in.

	The room that had been her sanctuary for the past two
months seemed foreign.   She walked into the darkness,
not bothering to turn the lights on until she reached
her bed. Hitomi clicked the small table lamp on,
throwing strange shadows across the wall.  Her books
were still scattered on the floor, and she looked at
her copy of Hamlet, wondering if it had only been a
few hours ago that the world had been simpler.

	She shivered, cold, wondering why she was still
wearing Bridget's jacket.  That meant she would have
to return it... and Bridget was the one who had got
her into this entire mess.   Hitomi supposed Bridget
hadn't meant to cause problems.  Still, she removed
the pale jacket and shoved it in her closet as she
kicked her shoes off, hoping to think of some other
way to get it back to Bridget.   

	She was avoiding the issue, she knew.

	How was Van here, she wondered.

	He had her necklace... it had to be Van- yet she had
run from him.

	Why had she run from him?   Was she that much of a
coward?

	She looked around her room, wondering how things that
had been familiar had turned into objects she barely
recognized.  The chair seemed like some object she had
never seen before, while the various lamps reared from
their corners, grasping at her, shadowed in
unaccustomed darkness.   And the telephone had become
a foreign contraption that she barely knew how to use.
  She blinked at it a few times before coming to a
decision.   

	She would talk to Yukari, and tell her the truth.  
Yukari wouldn't think she was crazy; rather, she would
know what to do.

	She grabbed the cordless off her desk, and pulled the
phone card out of her purse.   She hadn't bothered to
pay for the phone line, since she called so few
people, so she had to rely on calling cards.  An
annoyance, but she didn't feel like paying the
extortionist fees the company charged college
students.   She patiently went through the routine,
and was embarrassed that she had to look up Yukari's
phone number.   It was true that Yukari had been
living in her new dorm for only two months, but there
had been a time in high school when they talked to
each other every day.   

	The phone rang twice, between a sleepy voice
answered.   "Moshi moshi?"

	Hitomi blinked in surprise.  She had been expecting
to hear Yukari's voice; instead, a masculine voice was
there.   "I'm so sorry!" she said.   "I must have the
wrong num-"

	"Hitomi?"  The voice sounded more alert.

	"Yes?"  She didn't recognize it.

	"It's Amano," the voice said.   "Are you okay?   You
never call this late..."

	Hitomi's mind was reeling.   "I-I just realized that
I hadn't called Yukari in a couple of weeks, and I
thought she' be up..."

	"I can get her, if you give me a second..." Amano
volunteered.

	"No, no... I'll call her later."

	Silence hung between them for an eternal second
before he replied.  "Okay.   Hitomi... are you okay?"

	"I'm fine!" she insisted. 

	Again there was silence.  "Hitomi... we're worried
about you.   If you decide you can't talk to Yukari,
you can talk to me.   I'd like to consider myself your
friend."

	"Thanks, Amano-sempai.   Nothing's wrong, though.   I
just felt like talking.   Tell Yukari that I love her!
 Bai Bai!" she said, clicking the phone's off button.

	She stared at the receiver for a second before
throwing it violently across the room, watching it
smack into the poster of Gackt she had hung on the
wall.   There was a satisfying CRASH, and it dawned on
her that she had just broken it.   She stared at the
wreckage for a second, before pulling her knees up
against her chest and wrapping her arms around her
body.

	Amano had been with Yukari.   She knew Yukari had
been adamant about getting a single, and knowledge now
fell perfectly in place.   Yukari and Amano... she
hadn't believed they were at that stage in their
relationship.   She suddenly felt even more alone, and
abandoned.

	She hadn't loved Amano... but the knowledge that
Yukari had taken that step without telling her hurt.  
She had believed herself beyond petty betrayals, but
tonight had just turned her world upside down, in so
many ways.  She felt the tears she had been repressing
for so many years aching to be released, but Hitomi
wouldn't cry.   Crying was a futile pursuit.

	She would do what she always did when she felt
pressured- she would run.

	Hitomi uncurled from her ball of misery and stripped
the beautiful dress off, tossing it onto the chair in
the corner of her room.   Then she pulled out a sports
bra, running shorts, socks and a sweatshirt, and got
into them quickly, before putting on her running
sneakers.   She knew her coach would kill her for
wearing them off the track, but there was no way she'd
run without proper ankle support.

	Again she grabbed her key and ID, and shoved about
ten dollars into her carrier before putting the thing
beneath the jacket.   It jangled and felt
uncomfortable, but campus policy required that
students have ID on them at all times.   She
recognized the logic behind it, but it didn't make it
comfortable for running.   She sighed as she tied her
shoes up tightly.

	No matter how upset she was, she never forgot to
stretch before running.   She carefully spent five
minutes warming up, careful to keep her mind empty.   
It wouldn't do to have a blotchy face- Takamura would
stop her on her way out, and she was sure the officer
would already give her a hard enough time as it was.  
Even though KO had a wonderful record for campus
security, going out on a Friday night at two AM to run
wasn't one of the brightest things she'd ever done.  

	She locked her door carefully after completing her
exercises, and darted by the check-in before Takamura
could start lecturing her on date rape again.   She
needed some time to think, and some time to forget.  
She wasn't sure what she wanted to do first, so she
set her 50,000 yen shoes on the path and let them
carry her, breaking into a run.

	Hitomi was a sprinter, not a distance runner, but she
still ran at least five kilometers each morning before
breakfast.  She knew all the paths around campus quite
well, and her feet automatically took her on her usual
run.

She ran until she lost all track of time and self. 
She ran until her lungs began to burn, and her feet
ached.  She ran her usual path three times, and was
halfway through her fourth when she doubled over,
gasping for air.   It was still dark out, and she had
no idea what time it was.   The crescent moon hung
overhead, providing just enough illumination to warp
lampposts and other nearby objects into monsters and
other horrifying creatures of imagination.

	The sound of her breathing rang heavily in her ears
as she sat down, gasping for breath.   She had taxed
herself foolishly, and over a minor upset.   Why
shouldn't Yukari and Amano be lovers?   It was
natural... and there was no reason for her to be
upset.   Just because she couldn't have Van didn't
mean that Yukari shouldn't experience intimacy,
either.

	She needed water. She was going to dehydrate....

	She needed to stop being such an idiot.   Donovan
Masanori couldn't be her Van.    Her Van was still on
Fanelia.   She had to accept that.   They said that
everyone in the world had a twin.... Well, she had
just met Van's... and the coincidence had extended so
far as to include his name.   After all, she had
pulled the Wheel of Fortune, and perhaps this was what
the card had been warning about.

	Hitomi had just about become reconciled to this point
of view when she heard the sound of approaching
footsteps.   A solitary set of shoes hitting the
pavement gently, the stride sounded too long to be
that of a woman... 

	If she was lucky, it would be a security guard, but
Hitomi knew that her luck had been out the last
twenty-four hours, ever since one of her teammates had
suddenly become interested in the social life of the
"ice queen".  She cursed herself for not bringing her
pocket mace or whistle, and she knew she was too tired
to outrun an attacker.   She shut her eyes as she rose
to her feet, trying to steady her breathing.   

	The footsteps approached, closer... closer, until the
person came into range, stopped about ten feet away.  
Sure enough, it was a man.   Tall, slender.  Still too
far away to make out his features, but the moonlight
turned his hair white, and the long jacket he was
wearing billowed out around him like a cape.   "You
shouldn't be out this late," he called.

	"I was just about to go back to my dorm," she
answered.

	"Do you need an escort?" he offered.

	"No... I'm jogging, and you're not wearing the shoes
for it," she said coolly.  

	He laughed.   His voice was familiar, but she
couldn't place him.   Still, she had met so many
people since coming to campus that it was quite
possible that she had simply forgotten him.   "Be
careful, Kanzaki-san.   It's not safe for an
attractive young lady to be wandering around campus at
this time of night.   You never know who you'll meet."
 He laughed softly, turned around and walked the other
way.

	She watched him go, wondering who the hell he was.  
Obviously they had met, or at least he recognized her.
  That wasn't that difficult, as she was a campus
celebrity because of her running, but it was still
annoying to have people come up to her and pretend to
be her friend.

	She hated that part of track.   

She just wanted to run.

	With a sigh of resignation, she spun around and
started to jog back to the dorm.   He was right that
it was insane for her to be out- she should be in her
dorm.   Being upset about Van and Yukari would get her
nowhere.   If she was smart, she'd just go curl up in
bed and pretend that today had never happened, and go
back to her normal life.

	Go back to being miserable...

	She almost tripped over her own feet as that thought
came to her.   Was she miserable?   She had thought
her life fairly content- she was a star athlete, a
competent student, and the beloved child of her
family.   It was true that she'd been locking away
part of herself, her mystical heritage, but that had
brought her nothing but heartache in the past.   

	But... how had she been living?   Stagnating,
existing?   Just waiting for the next day to come, and
the day after that...what was the point?

	For the first time in years she had felt alive, when
she had seen Donovan.   She had felt the surge of
possibilities, the joy of hope.  Hitomi had felt
herself open up to the belief that yes, Van could have
returned to her, against all odds.   After all, hadn't
Gaea taught her that miracles were possible?   Didn't
she learn that love was the most potent force of all? 
 Why wouldn't Van cross worlds to be with her?

	Her jog slowed into a cool-down walk as her dorm came
into sight.  As she thought about it, the situation
was slowly starting to make more sense.   She was
afraid of taking the chance that Donovan COULD be
Van... because she knew, deep in her heart, he most
likely wasn't.   Van was loyal to Fanelia, and Fanelia
needed him.   He was the last of his family, the last
King, and he had to rule.   He might love her, but he
couldn't.

	It had been up to her, and she had failed.   She had
come home, choosing the safety of Earth over her love
for Van.   

	And that was the crux of the matter.

	She had never wanted to admit it, but she could have
-should have- stayed with Van on Gaea.  If the Emperor
of Zaibach had managed to stay all those years there,
surely she could have managed to do the same.   But
she hadn't- she had returned home a second time.  

	She was barely aware that she was crying until she
saw the tears hit the pavement, like the first drops
of a summer shower.   Her hand went to her cheek, and
she rested it against the warm wetness for a second
before trotting back to the dorm.

	She felt so tired.

	Takamura was still sitting at the desk.   She pushed
her ID card through the slot, annoyed at the
procedure.   Hitomi had the feeling the security guard
was going to take the opportunity to lecture her
again. 

	She was right.   "Kanzaki-san... are you okay?" the
officer asked after letting the girl through the
security door..

	"I'm fine... I just had a rather unsettling
conversation with an ex-boyfriend," she fibbed.  
Amano had never been her boyfriend, but she knew that
the security guard would most likely buy that.   And
lay off.   "I needed to go for a run- I always go
running to think about things."

	"Still... it's too late to be going around campus by
yourself..."

	"Takamura-san... I'm eighteen years old.   I'm
perfectly capable of taking care of myself."   Hitomi
leveled the cool look she'd been using effectively on
people for years.   It was a look that had cowed
better people then a security guard at a college, and
it didn't fail her now.

	"Fine, fine..." Takamura passed the ID card back to
Hitomi, who took it disdainfully, pretending there
were no tearstains on her face.   "Still, if you do
this again, I'm going to call your RA... or the
Counseling Center.  Just because you're upset doesn't
mean you should do things that are risky."

	Hitomi nodded and murmured a few platitudes before
taking off down the hall to her room.   With a sigh of
relief she unlocked her door, flicked her lights on,
and walked into her room, ready to collapse.   She
wrestled with the knots on her shoes (which suddenly
seemed too complicated for her numbed fingers to
untie) and managed to undo them after a struggle.
Stripping down to her underwear, she resolved to take
a shower as soon as she woke up in the morning.   She
felt grubby, but it was almost time for sunrise, and
her exhaustion outweighed her desire to clean up. 
Quickly she dug up one of the overly large T-shirts
she preferred to sleep in and threw it on.  She knew
her hair still had all the blue goop Bridget had put
in all those hours ago, and her face still bore the
ruins of her makeup, but she didn't care.  She just
wanted to sleep.

	Sleep would bring blissful nothingness, for she
rarely remembered her dreams.

	As she pulled the blankets of her bed back so she
could crawl in, she was surprised to hear the sound of
paper crinkling.   Her homework was still scattered on
the floor- she never bothered to do it in her bed,
since she knew she would fall asleep if she did it in
her bed.   With a puzzled look, she found the piece of
neon pink paper that had made the noise.

	It was the pamphlet Takamura had given her.   It was
about date rape.   

	Hitomi stared down at it in amazement before she
crumpled it up and threw the paper wad across the
room.   Appropriately enough, it landed on the remains
of the phone.

END PART THREE


Technical Notes: Ah, Date Rape can happen, and is VERY
frequent on college campuses.   It's quite natural
Takamura thought that. A resource:
http://www.ncpc.org/10yth3.htm


Up Next: The Fool
Keywords: Beginning, Spontaneity, Apparent Folly,
Faith


=====
It would be nice if we could
put away and throw out
everything except what really mattered
but reality is just cruel.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Quicksilver/
http://www.midnightrevolution.org/gundam

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