"Rest or Stay?" asked the bloated attendant. Afghanistan

Random country name just kinda thrown in there.

Ranma chucked and scratched his head. With a big, silly look on his face, 
he
said, "Hotaru-chan, do you know you're naked when you do that?"

Ranma chuckled...     IMO I would either change look to grin or take out the 
big.  A big, silly look just doesn't sound right

Hotaru gawked blankly at him, and slowly rubbed under her nose.

Getting the point, Ranma did as well. When he felt blood, he quickly wiped
it clear. "Sorry bout Hotaru, it's just that that transformation is just,
well, kinda erotic, and that costume is so... sexy."

"Sorry 'bout that Hotaru...

Hotaru stood in place, utterly dumbfounded, blushing a brighter shade of
scarlet then most would think physically possible.

The two stood in place for a moment or two, then Ranma spoke up. "So... 
you'
re a Magic Girl. No prob' there...."

Personally, I think Magical Girl sounds better.  Magic Girl makes it sound 
like she's made of magic instead of flesh, but that may just be me.

"I am weapon, Ranma. I can destroy the world if I want to. That was why
Sailor Saturn was created, to be a kind of twist Mutually Assured
Destruction tool. I can end all life on Earth."

"I am a weapon...        ...twisted Mutually...

Ranma did not allow Hotaru to continue her sentence. "No buts, even if ya
turn into... what every ya turn into, you're still you. It doesn't matter
one bit."

...whatever...

The pigtailed youth sighed and looked down, his face showing clouded with
sadness. "Hotaru, nothin's ever been easy for me. No matter what I do

take out showing  ...his face clouded with sadness sounds better

Ranma shrugged. "It's a long story... a very long story... Anyways, I

One of these days you should share all these long stories he keeps 
mentioning =')

off. "I just thought there would be something about you that was just 
wasn't
normal, because I don't do normal. It's just not in my karma. I was

...that just wasn't normal...

know if he did. You can't honestly say that you love someone if you don't
really know what love is in the first place.

Love... he didn't really know what it was. He never had any definite
experience with it, at least in the romantic sense! He had thought

I would cut the first sentence of this new paragraph.  It's just repetition 
from the previous paragraph.

fia... girls. If the way the way they blew *last* wedding up in his face 
was
any indication of things to come, this would not easy.

Repetition of the way        ...they blew the *last* wedding...

"I think I love ya... I know I like ya a lot, but really ain't exactly sure
what love is," he replied.

...but I really...

Hotaru gasped, was he actually asking her? She knew they had talked about

...gasped.  Was...

The man behind the counter shook his head. "Five minutes or fifty, your
late... that'll be 2,500 yen for the additional hour."

you're


Looking good.  Can't wait for more


C-Ya ='P

Jon Osborne

If the government has no knowledge of aliens,
then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the
code of Federal Regulations make it illegal for
U.S. citizens to have any contact with
extra-terrestrials or their vehicles?


_________________________________________________________________
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'