Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 14 Jul 2002 16:13:06 -0400 Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@email.psu.edu>
wrote:
She looked over to her lover, and found her own fears reflected in {his :}
"Ranko's" liquid-blue eyes. Slowly their hands met under the table. Whatever
happened, they were in it together.
"Good morning, Hotaru-chan," muttered Setsuna, her eyes drilling into Ranma'{
:}s.
"Ranko-san?" The outer most Senshi turned her head toward the two teens. Her
features slowly softened as she saw the unease in the {eyes of the two youths
' : two youths' eyes}. With a small smile on her face, which was now devoid of all obvious
negative emotion, she turned back to Michiru. "Yes, I know Ranko-kun."
Setsuna shrugged. "Well, it was a surprise. Seeing someone so close to the
boy who impregnated your {'daughter' : daughter} first thing is not exactly a pleasant
thing to wake up to." She paused for a moment and turned her head to
Michiru. "Could you please get me something for my head? I have a horrible
hangover."
Setsuna laughed lightly, and said, "Let me guess... Martial Arts
{ :}Homemaking?"
I liked Martial Arts Catering better. It's your choice though.
The young redhead blinked, "Yeah, how'd you know?"
It was in last week's Nerima Review.
Hotaru froze in place and began to mutter a few curses, then growled and
twisted around, meeting Setsuna's gaze with a venomous glare. "No, you can'{
:}t! There are no damn sandals! I was buying pregnancy tests! Now are you
happy?"
Setsuna winced, as Hotaru's angry tone heightened the already blazing agony
of her hangover. "Um, sorry, Hotaru-chan. I... I, didn't know."
I really liked that exchange. It really throws Setsuna off stride when she
can't know everything that's going on.
Setsuna's {faces : face} twisted with barely contained laughter. "Saotome-kun, you
really need to learn to keep your loud mouth shut."
Are you implying that Setsuna is two faced?
"{Your : You're} right, Mama."
Setsuna smiled slightly. "While I'm slightly annoyed for reasons that I can'{
:}t mention in present company, he's not a bad choice. He's honorable and
caring." Setsuna sighed, shook her head, then continued. "Tell him the
truth, Hotaru. He'll find out eventually, and it would be better if it was
on your terms. Don't worry, he's trustworthy."
Hotaru has permission to reveal her Sailor Saturn identity, but that's
going to make keeping the other Outer's identities secret more difficult.
With anyone but Ranma, Usagi's identity would be at risk as well.
Setsuna lifted her arms, refusing the card. "Keep it. 100,000 yen is not
enough for a ring worthy of a girl like Hotaru. That card has a one million
yen limit. Just buy what you want. Consider it a loan if you insist, you can
pay me back when {ever you want : you can}."
Ranma shrugged. "For a moment, I thought you were like one of my 'fianc�e's'
{great grandmother : great-grandmother}... You know, a nasty, manipulative, dried up, old
{ :}troll..." A {shounen : shoujo} wooden mallet, courtesy of Setsuna, interrupted Ranma's
speech.
With an uncharacteristic angry twitch, she said, "First lesson you should
have learned in life kiddo: know when to shut the hell up!"
"Arrogant old {witch : ghoul}..." grumbled Ranma from underneath the wooden implement
of feminine retribution.
Setsuna sighed, and turned to Hotaru. "As I was saying, he's a good kid, but
{need : he needs} to be house broken. I think you can pull it off... oh, and you two
should cut down on the lovey-dovey crap in front of the others. It might
expose you before *you* tell them," Setsuna's eyes and she looked into
Hotaru's "and you know what kinds of conclusions they would probably come
to."
She turned to Ranma and her tone became far more serious, "I want you to
tell me that you'll protect {and fight at Hotaru's : Hotaru and fight at her} side no matter what the
cost."
Hotaru looked blankly at him. Setsuna told her to believe this, yet it
sounded like something straight out of a martial arts manga! Of course, it
was not as if her life was significantly {less : more} believable.
Her head {tuned : turned}, following his outstretched hand to the welcoming sign of a
jewelry store. She looked at the name for a moment. The Osa-P, where had she
heard that name before? After a moment, she smiled in recognition. "I know
this store! Usagi's friend Naru's mom owns it!"
Knowing his luck one this would find a way to get back to one of the
fianc�es. He didn't know how, he didn't know when, but it would, and it did
he was a dead man, no questions asked. {: Or worse, Hotaru might be put in danger.}
{Both :} Hotaru blushed bright red, while Ranma turned an even deeper shade of
green as this fed his raging paranoia. After a moment, despite the frantic
objection and embarrassment on Ranma's face,", Hotaru said, "They call him
'Ran Ma' for a reason."
It's hard to keep him corralled.
Hotaru nodded absently as she gawked into the cases at the myriad of
jewelry. She slowly {scanned over : studied : scanned} each individual ring, her nose so close to
the case that her breath was fogging the glass.
Ranma rolled his eyes. What was it with girls and jewelry? He had a much,
much greater understanding of women then almost any man, but this was one of
the many {: things} that always stumped him.
"Oh, and you should really sign the back of that thing. You don't want to
get ripped off," she added.
At this point an attempted mugging would be a relief. It'd at least let
him work off a little of his tension.
"What..." inquired Ranma, and he looked at the sign above the door. "You
have got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed. This was a {Love Hotel : *love hotel*}!
You can find the other chapters at my homepage:
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