Boredcollective@aol.com wrote:
*VROOOOOOOOOM!!!* Haruka popped a wheelie and hit a speed bump
at sixty miles per hour, flying into the air while wildly spinning
around the front axle.
I'm thinking about this. Conventional motorcycle design makes this
largely impposible do to flanges that prevent the wheel from turning too
far. They're there because if you turn it around, first you'll end up
destroying your forks and shocks. Even if you don't, you'll suddenly
veer off at a sharp arc in the wrong direction. And if that doesn't stop
you, you snap the (very sturdy) brake cables completely through.
Minor detail. I've loved everything else in this story so far.
*RRRK!*VROOM!* The motorbike screeched a little and wobbled
back and forth when it landed, but a little creative maneuvering on
Haruka's part kept the balance and speed where they should be.
Namely 'fast' and 'so fast that balance' isn't an issue'.
"Hey there," the first began, pointing after the motorcyclist,
"we better go catch 'em! What they're doing's illegal!"
"What d'ya mean?" the second asked. "Having two girls on a
one-seater and speeding in a school zone or having that big, pink
hairdo?"
"Sure got me there!"
"Oh ho ho ho!" the two laughed, mockingly pointing at the focus
of their joke.
Wossianame and Waldorf?
The black-clad man turned his attention back to the youma.
"Where are those emissions you intercepted?" he asked in a deep,
terrifying voice that only a Dark Lord of the Sith could possibly
hope to manage. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THAT ENERGY?!"
I'm trying to imagine what the premise of this fic is.
All I can come up with is, 'This place is so messed up that the standard
SM stuff is tame in comparison'.
Love it.
"Hall-monitor!" The vice-principal turned to face one of his
men.
"Yes, Vice-Principal Vader!"
"TEAR THIS WING APART AND BRING ME THE INSTIGATORS; I WANT
THEM ALIVE!!!"
Sometimes his speech is all caps, sometimes it isn't. It's not terribly
clear that it's because he's yelling, either... is he? O_o?
Rei poked her head through the smoking entrance hole, frowned
and backed out, covering Ranma's eyes and leading him out by the
hand. "Uhhhhhhh, we're going to take that _other_ route to class
today, okay?"
Though, this begs one question:
If Ranma and Rei are on their way to school, why is everyone else already
attending classes?
"It's the vice-principal. He's rather... harsh on tardy
students."
I thought they were on time today?
"No, he freezes them in carbonite and sends them to see the
Principal."
"..."
"Yeah, that's what I said when I first heard about it."
Yes....
To be continued...
What? Everyone saw that one coming, right? I mean, it's
the only logical solution!
Anyone that sees something that needs fixin', by all
means, don't keep it to yourself! ^_-
Largely unable to comment on the grammar/spelling -- they looked solid to
what survey my work-weary eyes and brain can muster. Loved the story,
it's your trade-marked
drop-dead-from-funny-kick-you-in-face-action-humor. Can't wait to see more.
Until later...
-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."
Collective works available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html