Nodoka Saotome frowned.

 In her short time staying at the Tendo residence, she had come to
understand certain truths. Cold and hot water were always available;

demons,

evil spirits, and powerful martial artists/finacees made regular and
destructive visits; and there was always magic of one sort or another

flying

around. In fact, she'd come to think of all that as proof of how manly

Ranma

truly was. After all, why else would all these things come to
challenge/curse/kill/marry him?

 Still, Nodoka thought a migrating Tendo-ke was a LITTLE over the top.

Vintage.

Hey, I gotta have SOME type of style. I think. Uh... Maybe.

"YOU!" Ryoga roared, his nostrils flaring and the number of gold teeth
showing increasing. "I'm gonna make you wish you'd never

increased

Finally, as Ranma wandered back to the door to see what Ryoga was up to,

the

martial-artist-gone-pro-wrestler finally finished his extended speech,
ending with, "And now it's time to pay, Saotome! Face the wrath of..."
dramatic pause, "MAAAAN CRUSHER!"

ellipse unnecessary if you're declaring the pause.

All right, I was just caught in-between, I guess.

where as the normal Ryoga would fight honorably to the letter, Man

Crusher

ehhhhh. Honorably usually, yes. Too the letter? ehhhh, not always.

Okay, I'll rephrase. Change to something like "the normal Ryoga would fight
with something pretty close to honor" or some such.

"Then again..." he mumbled as he flew backward.

again,"

OKAY, OKAY! Humph! Elispes hater!

Ranma Saotome was now attached by the wrist to Akane Tendo by a huge,
manacled chain. A dozen conflicting emotions played hopscotch in Ranma's
tired and very put-upon brain, but eventually, embarrassment did a
complicated triple skip and took over.

Didn't this happen more than once in the OS? The cave of somethingorother

arc and later towards the end?

AAAAAARRRGH! I can't BELEIVE myself! I totally neglected to add a part!

You see, I usually get ideas really late at night when the computer is off,
so I scribble them down on a peice of paper so I don't forget them. But this
time, I was SO CONFIDENT that I remembered everything that I left out a
part! GRRR!

SO, what follows is the final scene in chapter 4, HOW IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
It'll appear in a repost (someday) but for now, here it is:

"R-Ranma!" Akane whispered urgently, and he felt something hard tug on his
arm, and there was a loud clink. Ranma swallowed. His eyes wide and wary,
Ranma slowly glanced down at his arm, and then felt his jaw go slack.

Ranma Saotome was now attached by the wrist to Akane Tendo by a huge,
manacled chain. Ranma growled something not fit to be repeated in public.

"All right, what NOW, you half-pint gnome?" he snapped at the Mr. Weird. He
and Akane leaned forward to tower menacingly over the little man, arms
outstretched and intent on strangling him with the chair.

But short-stuff leapt nimbly backward, a very nasty smile blooming on his
features. "There's only one way to get that off, you know," he snickered.
"You have to do something."

"What?" Akane demanded.

The little man laughed. "You have to kiss."

There was pause.

"Passionately," Mr. Weird added.

Ranma and Akane gasped, and then looked at each other. A dozen conflicting
emotions played hopscotch in Ranma's tired and very put-upon brain, but
eventually, embarrassment did a complicated triple skip and took over.

As Ranma's face practically burst with the pressure of the blood rushing to
it, he noticed absently that Akane's reaction was just a LITTLE bit
different.

She pointed a mallet that filled the room at Who W. Weird, and smashed him
with such force the entire building shook. Wall paintings and furnishings
shifted in their places, and there were startled shouts all around.

When things finally settled down, Akane looked back at him, her eyes wide.
With startling abruptness, she fainted and fell forward onto Ranma, her head
landing in his lap.

At this point, the martial artist's wearied gray matter threw up its hands
in despair and ordered a full system shut-down. I can't work with the
massive sensory overload I've been getting, it complained, and it's time for
my vacation.

Ranma couldn't agree more.

He slumped back, eyes rolling in his head, bound and determined to not wake
up for as long as he possibly could.

Gee, oblivion sure is nice in times like these.

As for the rest, well, it worked for me.

Good. At least I got that right.

I'm blooming with ideas for chapter five, but I just have to decide where to
send Tendo-ke next. Any suggestions? I'd be glad to hear them.

A thousand and twenty-two apoligies,
AJ Andreason


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