Michael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Wed, 03 Jul 2002 21:22:27 -0700 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
If I don't comment on it, it's cause there's not much to say. But I am
using your comments. ;)
Ranma woke up with the first lights of the rising sun
turning the walls of her room {golden, running : golden mixed} with a soft amber
glow. She stretched carefully, mindful of the silver-haired girl
cuddled up against her, and muffled a yawn. "Morning, kiddo," she
said sleepily.
'tinted'
"I worked a summer at a hot-spring resort with {Akini : Aniki}," Ranma
said dismissively. "Most days I ended up in the kitchen." He served
Mitsune, then retreated back into the kitchen to prepare more place-
settings. "A few days I had to serve everyone in the main hall."
Bleah. The WP I used at work seems to have shuffled my custom dictionary
around -- seems to have turned '-chan' into '-han', too.
"No, you're just less perverted than everyone else!"
That's scary.
As it should be. :)
Because Ranma was right next to the edge of the roof, she
{realized. What : realized that what} she needed wasn't a protective and burly foreman, but
a way _out_. "Uh, I don't really think that would be a good idea. I
mean, I don't even know your name!"
Eh? No, those are meant to be separate sentences. She realizes his
reasons for approaching her (first sentence), and then has her own
thoughts on the subject in the second sentence. Does that work?
Shinobu blinked, then pointed to the building they were
standing in front of -- the same one Suu had fallen off of. Keitaro
turned to look, adjusting his spectacles and blinking at the sign in
front of the building. "'Lower Hinata Tea-house'," he read off the
sign. "Oh. Well, that would explain that. Thanks{, :} girls!"
You sure?
"No, you're probably right. If Suu were back, I'd probably
get some clue {on : of} it."
about
Ranma wasted no time, surging into motion faster than
Mitsune's eyes could follow. By the time Naru opened the door again,
Mitsune was in the same position, blinking, and wearing the black
dress. Ranma was seated on the opposite side of the room, trying to
look nonchalant, and wearing her {T-shirt : t-shirt}.
Damn you, Bill Gates!
It would have worked, but the t-shirt was on backward.
Hehe!
"Okay, quick, dress up casually so they won't suspect us,
and let's chase after them!"
The game is afoot. Take precautions.
Hope you liked it, and thanks for taking the time to C&C for me! :)