[FFML] Re: [fanfic][R.5/SM/AMG]The Tears of a Dragon: Chapter One: The Fall[final]

You can't satisfy everyone, so don't try. ^_^
As for suggestions. I've only had time to skim what you sent me,but it's good stuff. Here's what I suggest. START the story at the cursed springs.Get into the MEAT of the story as quickly as possible. THEN (and you have to decide this based on the flow of the story) bring in the other in FLASH back. I did a lot of this in "Furies) (could have done it better for that matter) You need to have a 'natural' sounding trigger in the "Present Day" story that segues into the flash-back. For that matter Doyle did basically that in "VAlley of Fear". I don't suggest doing it to that extent, but something of that nature allows you to SHOW past events in an active manner. Basically you're toggeling back and forth between PRESENT time and PAST time. I liked what you sent in this post. As for motivations, what you MUST show fairly early on is that she HAS motivations. You do NOT have to give all the details up front. Just enough so the reader BELEIVES she has them.

I understand and sympathize. I've run into exactly the same problem. Balancing the pace of the story against giving the reader crucial information. And no matter what you do, SOME joker is going to complain. ^_^

if you're satisfied with the story that's all that matters. If you're interested in more detail let me know and I'll give some line-by-line examples. You've got a complicated story here, so I understand the problems you're having.

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