With the permission of the Admins, I'd like to pick the collective brain of
the FFML on the matter of a fic that I can't decide if should scrap, continue
working with, or develop as an original story on it's own in it's own
universe with no ties to any anime, manga or game whatsoever. Private Replies
only, please. Let's not fill up the list.
Disclaimer: The original (read as: non-SM) ideas and characters below are
mine and no one else's. I'm strictly looking for feedback and suggestions.
As most of you know, I have a SM fic called "No Going Back" (There's several
versions out there) featuring an alternative version of the Senshi and a
Negaverse General named Azuriite with a smart mouth who is on the side of the
good guys, but he's *not* an SI as people seem to think. People who are
actually looking forward to future chapters should probably move along right
about now, since I'm going to spoil the whole thing.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
So here's the deal. The story is told on several levels. I know what I want
to say, but as soon as I try to lay it down in some sort of outline or plot,
my brain siezes up. I don't know if it's impaitence, or just some mental
quirk, but it leaves me to write the story as I go along. I would also like
to thank Megane 6.7. The idea of evil Senshi and good Negaverse was his idea
to begin with and he graciously gave me permission to flesh it out. He
probably wasn't expecting me to go this far though...
I apologize in advance if this seems a little chaotic. I'm trying to lay my
thoughts out in the order that the story demands, but I might digress a
little.
Level 1: Azurite: He's a smartass with a smarter mouth. His first memory is
waking up in the hospital with total amnesia at age six and his eyes covered
by some sort of film. He should be blind, but he's not he can see just fine.
No one knows why because examining involves looking at them and doing so
makes people uneasy and afraid so they turn away. The only name he knows is
"Azurite" His family is a sort of low-rent version of the Kennedys but with a
much more notorious reputation though that's become more legitamite these
days. His parents, for example, are fairly well respected politicans.
Jack, Az's real name, soon discovers that unless his eyes are covered with
some sort of cover, such as the contact lenses he uses to make his eyes
appear normal, or sunglasses, he can see a person's darkest secrets and all
the wrongs they committed or had done to them and by who. It's not something
he can turn on and off at will, and if he's in a crowd, the lenses and
glasses won't help unless used together. This ability will get him in trouble
later. It also becomes clear that he is without fear. Literally, without
fear. No adrenal spike. Because of this lack of fear, Jack will never know if
he is truly brave. He also gains a voice in his head, a woman's voice he
can't ignore and is unable to to disobey when it tells him to do something.
This only happens in the most extreme cases and when it does, he does so
without any mercy. With no fear, the space in his emotional makeup is taken
up by agression, which while he learns to control, hovers just beneath the
surface and is reflected in his body language. All these factors, plus a year
in jail (It would have been more, but he was released when someone came
forward with testimony that freed him) for beating a schoolmate with a hockey
stick, have made him the perennial outsider.
What it boils down to is that Jack is a Sword. Posessed, in a manner of
speaking, by Lady Justice herself. The film over his eyes is her mark. He
blinded, so that he might see more clearly, without fear, so that he goes
where and does what is needed without hesitation, and without mercy so that
those he punishes get the full measure.
So how do I reflect this? Do I drop it all at once, or space it out as the
story progresses? Skip it entirely? My original plan was to make "No Going
Back" as a three volume set, with most of Jack's backstory being laid out in
volume 1. But then I thought that perhaps I should skip one and two as they
mostly consisted of Jack and the Negaverse crisscrossing Tokyo (In volume
two, it's most of Asia) blowing stuff up and other fun and random acts of
violence. Volume three, which picks up a good seven years after the start of
volume one, showed a more mature Jack, or Az, as he preffers now. While less
prone to outbursts of violence, he's much more blunt and direct and a great
deal more willing to kill thanks to five years of traveling from dimension to
dimension. I figured that anything really important from one and two could
appear in three, but that might have not been a good decision.
Justice as most people think of it is refined by laws, and (sometimes
complicated) methods of using those laws to determine guilt and innocence.
But when there is no need to use those methods, how does that affect your
view of the world? What toll is taken upon someone driven to wander with no
other purpose then to mete out punishment? Especially when you can no more
stop doing it then you can breathing.
Level 2: What are the Senshi? Why are they the way they are? Even in
altaverse fics, they're basically good people. I want to examine that. In
this case they're linked to Yggdrasil, the Tree Of Life, or to be more
precise, form a treelike diagram which each one representing a certain
aspect. From the Top down (hopefully this won't look too bad in your mail):
Pluto---Uranus---Neptune---Saturn
(Duty) (Loveknows no) (Death)
| (boundries) |
| I |
| I |
--------------Jupiter---------------
(Strength)
|
|
|
Venus
(Sacrifice)
|
|
|
Mars---Tuxedo Mask----Sailor Moon---Mercury
(Friendship) (Balance) (Intelligence)
I
I
I
Chibi-Usa---Chibi Chibi
(The Future) | (Redemption)
|
|
The Silver Crystal and the Starseeds
(The roots. without them, the Senshi would just be people with old souls)
Basically, if the roots were corrupted, or put into bad soil, the tree would
change. For the purposes of volumes one and two, whatever cosmic event
created the Crystal and Starseeds was formed out of Negative energy, rather
then Positive. This reversed everything, creating Senshi of Evil, rather then
good. (Or if you prefer, the NA dub. ;) )
Again, we come back to Azurite (Jack), the fifth General. Because the
Negaverse is of light and peace, they cannot effectivly match the Senshi. A
good allegory would be Demolition Man. When faced with something you don't
understand, or can't handle, you must get someone who does. To enable him to
fight the Senshi, the Negaverse fits Jack with a technomagical colony of
nanites which enhances his physical abilites and switches on his psi powers.
He has the full range of pyrokenisis, a moderately powerful lightning attack,
some telekeniis, and a form of telepathy which mostly lets him understand and
be understood in any language and a for lack of better term "spider sense".
The human brain will protect itself from anything more and only surface
thoughts, such as what you will say, lie outside this protection. Because of
this, true Telepathy, mind to mind communication is impossible unless both
people with said ability trust each other wholly and completly without
reservation. That's why telepathic communication is limited mostly to twins.
Nanites are cliche, I know, but I tried to be as orginal as I could with
them. In this case, the colony emits a certain form of EM field, even at rest
which over time degrades organic material. The nanites can repair the damage,
but the cells will become corrupt again and it happens even faster if he uses
his "nanopowers". In other words, they're slowly killing him. They were
adapted from their original purpose (Something humorously stupid, I'm not
sure what. Any suggestions?) and were never meant to do this.
Volume 2 we can more or less skip over as it revolves around Nephrite and
Azurite "rebelling" against Beryl, who is Molly reborn. However, since in
this universe, Molly and Serena were friends, Beryl is no longer pure
goodness and thus corruptable by the power she holds. Volume 2 revolved
around a fairly simple idea. How far can you walk the road paved with good
intentions without reaching the end? Because Beryl did have good intentions,
its just that trying to rule the universe to accomplish them is not good.
Volume 3 is sort of where I'm stumbling. It's five years after Volume 2.
Intended to stand more or less on it's own. Ideally, all three should be that
way, volume three was intended to cover the final battle between Mercury and
Azurite with the Senshi getting dragged in despite Rei's objections. In this
world, the Senshi aren't searching for the Moon Princess as they believe it's
Rei. After all, she's the Imperial Princess and a Senshi. Not that she wants
to be the Imperial Princess. In fact, she hates it and being a Senshi and has
from the word go. What is the line between duty and destiny? Great
responsiblity may come with great power, but can you really posess great
power and not use it? Or does it use you because it needs to be used?
This version of the Senshi were in a world where DaVinci's ideas sparked the
Industrial Revolution and technology has exploded exponetionally since then
and changed the world.. Such as the American Revolution never happening since
the ease of communication allowed the colonies and Britan to talk out their
differences rather then going to war.
To hide from Azurite, Mercury ursurps the life of one of the Senshi, leaving
behind a metaphysical remmant with huge gaps in her memory. With no memory,
no sense of Identidy, she does effectivly not exist. By giving her some of
his nanites, Az makes her a general, giving her the things she lacks, and
allowing her to "exist" again. Together, they try and stop Mercury, Az
because he must, and the General to get her life back.
So there you have it. So am I wasting my time with this as a fanfic and
instead adapt it into an original story? Is it too metaphysical? Too
complicated? Should I scrap the idea entirely? Is it worth continuing working
with in either form? And if I do adapt it to an original story, can/should I
post it to the list?
I'm going to sit down and try the excercises Allyn Yonge suggested, but I'm
interested in any thoughts and opinions that I can add to what I learn from
those excercises. Please be honest and direct and again, private replies
only, please.
Thank you,
-Steve "Komodo" T.
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'