Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 29 Jun 2002 22:26:08 -0400 DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:
If you're interested in prereading, let me know.
I would be pleased and honoured if you would take me as a pre-reader.
Preface: What's happened before: Akane got her hands on a wish and used it
to wish her mother had never been in a car accident and was alive in the
present. Well, her mother wasn't in an accident, and is with them in the
present, there's only the slight complications that she's there at the ripe
old age of seventeen...
I'm still waiting to see if she's only there for 'today' only.
[Later] Obviously she stuck around for longer, now the question is why.
Kachiko Tendou had been possessed by an oni.
Makes sense to me.
Kasumi felt thrilled at the knowledge that her mother would return to normal
shortly. Of course Kasumi couldn't possibly try to bludgeon her mother in an
attempt to exorcise the demon possessing her. At least not at first. But
there were other alternatives. It had taken her the majority of the night
consulting {a :} one of the numerous books Dr. Tofu had loaned her and getting
the paper and inscriptions correct, but after much toil her project was
successfully completed. Kasumi felt satisfied that what she held in her hand
was identical to the pictures shown in the book. Now all that remained was
to apply it to her mother, and then all would be well. Hopefully.
Well thought out and an excellent plan of action. Her mother would be
proud.
Kachiko considered that. "If I say no, what will you do next?"
Kasumi picked up a hammer she had nearby for just such a scenario. "I can
hit you in the head and drive the oni out directly."
"I feel wonderfully normal! Your napkin did wonders!" Kachiko shouted
gleefully.
"That's nice," Kasumi put the hammer back down.
Priceless, definitely her mother's daughter.
I also like Kachiko's reaction to the vicious panda attacking Ranma.
The motorized hum of the rear passenger window rolling down into the car
reached the girls' ears. Reluctantly, the turned to see a handsome face with
perfectly crafted brown hair stick out of the window and peer closely at
them. "Well, if my eyes don't deceive me, I have the good fortune to behold
two lovely visions of beauty: the vibrant Kachiko Tendou and {: the} ever
sophisticated Sakura Daisho."
Kachiko stopped suddenly. She turned and examined the car more closely. "But
how can you give us a ride when your tire's flat?"
. . .
Kachiko said, "But how can you walk us to school when you have a broken
leg?"
Subtle. For Kachiko.
Kachiko ignored the comment and went to a nearby sack that was resting
against the table. It made jingling sounds as the plethora of odds and ends
clinked and clacked within. "Look at what all this digging has got you." She
began pulling items out of the sack and tossing them left and right. "Holy
Grails. Arks of some convent. A crappy old spear that belonged to some putz
named Loginus. Dead Sea scrolls. Necronmicons. Second editions, mind you.
Lemurian Serpent Crowns. A philosopher's stone. Gos, you hate philosophy."
She tossed the stone aside (the item turning the pile of earth it struck
into gold) and pulled out something that caught her attention. "What's this
computer keyboard doing in here?"
Yep, just a bunch of junk. How observant of her. That's a big sack too.
"And she is always to be coming to school riding the back of pandas of
{collosal : colossal} proportions?"
Hey! Neat trick, Wacky. How nice of you to share.
And by merest chance, shearing off the spirit wards sealing it.
Gee. How did that happen?
{Unperterubed : Unperturbed} by the change in her animal, and holding onto its fur for dear
life, Wakaba ordered, "I care nothing for your rank! I order you to dispatch
the hateful little bitch post haste!"
Nabiki pondered that. "Let me guess. You buried it under a rock in our
backyard."
I didn't see that one coming. Nicely played. I wonder what else she'll
eventually recall burying around Nerima.
"FOOLISH MORTAL, YOU DARE TO IMPLY THAT MY {APPEARENCE : APPEARANCE}... SAY, I WOULD LOOK
BETTER WITH GREEN EYES, WOULDN'T I?!"
"OH, WELL THAT'S EASY. FIRST I {EXTERMINTE : EXTERMINATE} HUMANITY. THEN-"
In the middle of the room there was a completely naked Kachiko Tendou,
sitting on a stool, completely naked and in the process of cleaning her
completely naked body off with a bucket of water. She had lathered some soap
on her form, and Ranma would have liked to have said the bubbles covered up
the normally hidden parts, but that would have been too easy. Instead, all
of the most interesting parts of her body were quite free of everything save
a sheen of water that only served to display all of the girl's attributes in
an even more erotic manner. And except for the hips, Ranma could positively
certify that Kachiko was built a lot like Akane.
You want to make sure we know that she isn't fully dressed? Right?
Poor Ranma. I'm sure a lesser author would keep harping on his less than
full-scale attributes. It was rather OOC for Nabiki to destroy a roll of
film just because a couple exposures weren't up to her usual standards.
Here ends the latest chapter. And I do believe something of an 'Oops!' was
involved. Some ideas came to me as I wrote, so I decided to give a little
more of the ah, unique way the world appears through the eyes of Kachiko, as
well as getting her 'acclimated' to the climate of the Tendou household
twenty years after. Although we did get a few looks at the reactions of a
few of the girls, as well as Kachiko's discovery of Ranma's curse. More on
this next time.
It was ... iteresting ... to see Kachiko's world.