Since I am not good with spelling and grammar I will just make my suggestions elsewhere.  
In the following scenes you have the price of a worthy ring to be quite high and then in  
the end it turns out to be an inexpensive compared to what was suggested earlier.

<begin cut scenes>
Ranma pushed it back towards her. "I want to buy her own with my own money.
I don't want to have to depend of everybody for everything."

Setsuna shook her head, "Exactly how much do you have?"

Ranma blinked. "About 100,000 yen..."

Setsuna lifted her arms, refusing the card. "Keep it. 100,000 yen is not
enough for a ring worth of a girl like Hotaru. That card has a one million
yen limit. Just buy what you want and pay me back later. Consider it a
lone."

<skip ahead>

He looked at the display case before him, and started looking at the rings
inside. Ouch, these we're expensive. Setsuna was right to give him that
credit card, otherwise he would not have been able to afford anything but
the most cheap and basic ring.

"Ranma!"

Ranma turned his head to look at Hotaru. He could tell by her smile that she
had found the one she wanted. "So what is it?" he inquired. He could already
hear that credit card starting to cry.

Hotaru smiled widely and dragged Ranma over to a display case. Ranma
immediately knew which one she wanted.

The ring was a large violet sapphire in platinum setting surrounded by a
halo of small diamonds. It was very beautiful, and just screamed expensive.

He looked over to Naru and said, "How much?"

Naru pulled the ring out of the case, and smiled at Hotaru. "Girl, you have
good taste!" he eyes then narrowed slightly and she gave Ranma a once over.
"You sure lover-boy can afford it."

With a sigh, Ranma pulled out the credit card. "Charge it."

"Okay. It's normally 45,000 yen but I can drop it down to 40,000 just this
once."
<end cut scenes>

The only other things that I thought were off was the Setsuna-mallet thing and not saying  
how Ranma change genders before the jewelers or Naru knew his name, however others  
already pointed these out.

Sebastian Rynders


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