I finished this chapter late this afternoon and was going to let it rest for
a day, but what the hell? This one is markedly different in tone from Part
IV. Hopefully, there's a chuckle or two in this one.
 
Don  Granberry.

 
Oh, the word "Ahou" or "Aho", roughly translated, means "dumbass".
 
==============================
Divided I Stand: Part V Rev 0
==============================
 
 
       The following story is based on the fictional
characters, situations, and settings created by Rumiko
Takahashi for her Ranma 1/2 series of manga. They are here
used without permission.
 
 
 
       Ranma Saotome woke with the feeling that someone and
stuffed his mouth full of cotton. The sharp smell of a canvas
tent did not help the taste any.
 
       "Here, have some water, Ranma," a familiar voice said.
 
       Ranma blinked as he accepted the glass. He was far more
accustomed to hearing that voice shout, "Prepare to die!"
 
       "How's your head?"
 
       "Not bad," Ranma said. "What the hell are you doin'
here?" 
 
       "Just tryin' to help out, Saotome," Ryouga said.
"That's what any decent person does during an emergency."
 
       "I know that you blockhead," Ranma said with mock
irritation. "I mean what are you doin' here, playin'
nursemaid to me?"
 
       "Well, it's not like I wanted the duty, you know!"
Ryouga answered with mock outrage. "It was the only way I
could get Akane to go get some rest."
 
       "Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Where am I? Oh, wait! I
forgot who I was talkin' to there for a minute."
 
       "Oh, ha-ha, Ranma! You're in a tent."
 
       "Right, so where is this tent, Ryouga?"
 
       "Somewhere in Akane's yard."
 
       Akari's farm get hit?"
 
       "We got quite bit of rain, a little wind, nothing bad.
What's the deal with your curse?"
 
       "I wish I knew for sure. It ain't a cure if that's what
your thinkin'."
 
       "So what is it then?"
 
       "To tell ya the truth, I think its just another curse
added onto the first one."
 
       "What makes ya say that?"
 
       "How would you like bein' a little black pig, knowin'
that you were never, ever gonna be able to change back?"
 
       Ryouga grimaced, then said, "I wouldn't."
 
       "Well that's the shape Ranko is in."
  
       "She's going to need help," Ryouga said. "One time I
got stuck as a pig where I couldn't find hot water for three
months."
 
       "Yeah?"
 
       "Yeah, I did. For weeks after I finally changed back,
I'd wake up in the middle of the night pushing my face in the
ground."
 
       Ranma laughed then winced.
 
       "Easy on the stitches, Saotome."
 
       "I'll tell the Doc it was all your fault."
 
       "He'll just put 'em back in without painkillers,"
Ryouga said with feral grin. "They're runnin' short on that
stuff and you're a tough guy, remember?"
 
       "Don't remind me, Ryouga," Ranma said, suddenly looking
glum.
 
       "Hey, don't let that nonsense at the clinic yesterday
get you down. They had it coming. They would have cut your
throat and laughed at you while they watched you thrashed
around if they had gotten the chance."
 
       "You ever kill anybody, Ryouga?"
 
       "Yeah, but he had it coming," Ryouga said, suddenly
looking uncomfortable. "He was trying to kill me."
 
       "You didn't feel bad about it?"
 
       "Sure, I felt bad about it," Ryouga said. "For a couple
of days. Then I threw a really big Shi-Shi-Houko-Dan and got
it out of my system."
 
       Ranma closed his eyes and shook his head in response.
 
       "Was there anything left of the prefecture?"
 
       "Of course, in your case, Saotome," Ryouga said, giving
Ranma a nasty grin, "you're gonna hafta wait for those
stitches to heal before you can throw a Shi-Shi-Houko-Dan.
I'm gonna enjoy watchin' you suffer from depression for a
change."
 
      "You're an asshole," Ranma said, grinning in spite of
himself.
 
      "Yeah, but not quite as big an asshole as you are."
 
      "What would I do without my friends?" Ranma asked in
mock despair as he covered his eyes with one hand.
 
       "By the way, what's the deal with this Kumon guy? Did
he really kick your ass?"
 
       "Hey! I won in the end."
 
       "Knew one more dirty trick than he did, huh?"
 
       Ranma rolled his eyes then said, "Yeah, I knew a
technique he didn't have. That was why we were fightin' in
the first place."
 
       "He's a hoot to watch."
 
       "Yeah, how so, P-Chan?"
 
       "Don't call me that!" Ryouga snapped. He recovered from
his annoyance quickly and gave Ranma another nasty grin as he
said, "Kumon came here to make sure your mom was okay, but
now he can't keep his eyes off your girl half."
 
       "Oh, that's great!" Ranma said with a groan. "That's
just perfect! He wants to treat my mom like she's his mom and
now he wants to treat my girl half like she's his...his...I
don't wanna think about it!"
 
       "Hey, there's nothin' like a new problem to take your
mind off your depression, Saotome. Take it from somebody who
knows."
 
       Ranma shook his head in disgust.
 
      "Hey, look at it this way, Ranma, it's better for her to
fall for this Kumon guy than Kuno, right?"
 
       "Like I'd ever fall for Kuno, Porkbuns!"
 
        Ryouga laughed.
 
       "Oh, you're just lovin' this, aintcha?"
 
       "Damn right I am. I haven't had a laugh like this in
ages. The really funny thing is, I don't think your girl half
can make up her mind whether to kill Kumon, or kiss him. Last
night he came back to our tent with a bruise on one side of
his face and lipstick on the other."
 
       "Kiss him!" Ranma shouted sounding outraged.
"Lipstick?"
 
       "Hey, that was scary, Ranma. You looked almost like old
man Tendo there for second. Think you could do it again?"
 
       "Would you two like some breakfast?" Kasumi asked. She
sounded cheerful, but she was definitely blurry around the
edges.
 
       "Kasumi, you shouldn't be up this early," Ranma said.
 
       "Oh, that's all right," Kasumi said as she handed bowls
of food to Ranma and Ryouga. "I couldn't sleep anyway and
Akane helped with breakfast this morning."
 
       Ranma and Ryouga both blanched.
 
       "You should have seen her," Kasumi said with a sunny,
but blurry smile. "She was _so_ proud of herself. She didn't
make a single mistake."
 
       Ryouga sniffed his bowl, gave Ranma a knowing grin,
then dug into his food with gusto.
 
       "See you later," Kasumi said as she tottered back
towards the house.
 
       Ranma sniffed his bowl. It did not smell toxic. Ryouga
was eating the stuff without apparent harm. He decided to
give it a taste. 
 
       "Hey! This ain't half bad given that it was Akane that
cooked it," Ranma exclaimed.
 
       "All she had to do was heat it, Saotome," Ryouga said
around a mouthful of the stuff that had been in his bowl.
"It's an MRE."
 
       "MRE?"
 
       "Meal Ready to Eat. The army guys have been passin' 'em
out to everybody," Ryouga said. He chewed thoughtfully for a
moment, then added, "I think this is beef tips and gravy on
rice again. Can't be sure."
 
       Ranma shrugged his shoulders and began to eat. The food
was too bland, too hot, and too greasy, but filling. And,
unlike many of the dishes Akane had cooked in the past, he
could recognize the rice for what it was. Maybe, if he got
lucky, Akane would actually learn to cook this well. Where
there was life, there was hope, even when the life in
question was cursed and chaotic.
 
 
                            ==========
  
 
 
       The army finished plowing an open route through the
debris-clogged streets between Furinkan and Tendo-ke by mid-
morning. That was when ambulances began to arrive. Tendo-ke
was nearly empty after two hours. Ranma became very
frustrated when no one would let him help, so he went off in
search of Tofu Ono. He found Tofu seated outside one of the
tents pitched on the opposite side of the school building
from the hospital that the JGSDF had flown in and erected.
 
       "Ya look like hell, Doc," Ranma said in a cheerful
voice as he sat down across the fire from Tofu.
 
       Tofu looked up and grinned at his young friend and
patient. 
 
       "I hope I don't look as bad as I feel," Tofu said. "How
are you doing?"
 
       "I'm gettin' better, Doc," Ranma said as he pulled a
long face. "The cuts itch a little, but that isn't what
bothers me the most. I shoulda been able to avoid that mess,
somehow."
 
       "Oh, sure," Tofu said in a skeptical voice. "You could
have let them kill you, but I don't think anyone around here
would have been happy with that particular tradeoff."
 
       "Whatcha got cookin' in the pot, Doc?"
 
       "Just heating water to make some special tea. It's an
old family recipe. Makes you sleep for three days or so."
 
       "That's exactly what I was gonna ask ya for. Got any
extra?"
 
       "Who would it be for, Ranma?"
 
       "Mom and Kasumi. The army came and took all their
patients, but neither one of 'em will get any rest. They're
tryin' to clean the place up now."
 
       Tofu grinned then said, "I suppose I should not be the
least bit surprised by that. Here."
 
       Ranma took the small package of leaves Tofu handed.
 
      "Instructions are written in the wrapper. Be sure you
are the one that makes it, and not Akane, Ranma."
 
      "Hey, Doc! I ain't that thick, ya know?"
 
      "Oh, I know, but cautioning people is one of my jobs."
 
      "You gonna be okay, Doc?"
 
      "All I need is a little rest, Ranma, and I am about to
get in a long nap."
 
      "Okay, I'll come by and check on ya later. See ya in
three days, Doc."
 
       "Thanks, Ranma. Tell your mother and Kasumi hello for
me."
 
       "I'll do that, Doc."
 
       Everyone at Tendo-ke was busy when he got back. The
house and yard were an incredible mess. Akane was helping
Kasumi and Nadoka inside the house. Ryouga, Kumon, Ranko and
Soun were working what was left of the yard. Ukyou was in the
outdoor kitchen, getting ready to make lunch.
 
       "Hey, Ucchan!"
 
       "Hiya, Ranchan."
 
       "Where's Nabiki?"
 
       "Asleep," Ukyou said with a giggle. "She picked up a
club a little while ago and shouted, 'I am become Akane!
Destroyer of Kitchens!'  I made her go to bed."
 
      "Oh, boy. Did Akane hear her."
 
      "Hell, I think half of Nerima heard her. Where were
you?"
 
      "I went to see Doc Tofu."
 
      "You okay?" Ukyou asked, suddenly looking concerned.
 
      "I'm fine, but I'm worried about Mom and Kasumi. Doc
Tofu gave me this special tea for 'em."
 
      "Bless you, Ranma. You are so sweet to be such a jerk."
 
      Ranma could only blink in response.
 
      "Gimme," Ukyou said holding out her hand.
 
      "What?" Ranma asked, now thoroughly confused.
 
      "The tea, Ahou."
 
      "Oh," Ranma said as he placed the package in Ukyou's
hand.
 
      "I sent Konatsu off to check on the restaurant, so
you'll hafta help me serve. Think you're up to it?"
 
      "You kiddin'? I been sittin' around feelin' useless all
mornin'."
 
       "You should've said something to me sooner," Ukyou said
with an evil grin. "We have about a truckload of dishes to
wash and sort out. I think we have a place setting from every
house in the neighborhood."
 
       "Hey, no problem. Happy to help," Ranma said, making
his way towards the makeshift sink. The guys that had built
the sheltered cooking area had salvaged a large stainless job
from a wrecked cafe. Ukyou had already filled it with hot
soapy water. 
 
       "Just put 'em in the racks as you finish washing them,
Ranma. We'll pour water over 'em later to rinse and then let
'em air dry."
 
       "Okay."
 
       Ranma turned dishwashing into a kind of exercise, of
course, a habit long ago drilled into him by his father. It
made such work a good deal less boring. He broke for lunch
with everyone else. Ukyou charmed Nodoka and Kasumi into
trying "her new tea recipe".
 
       "Oh, my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "This is very good, Ukyou."
 
       "Indeed, it is," Nodoka added.
 
        Ranma felt a tight band around his chest loosen as he
watched the lines of fatigue on Kasumi's and his mother's
faces fade. The two of them dropped right off to sleep where
they sat. Soun and Ryouga carried them off to the large bed
Soun normally slept in fist floor. Soun gave Ukyou a
questioning look once he returned.
 
       "Ran-chan got it from Tofu," Ukyou said in answer to
his silent question.
 
       "Ah! Good thinking, Son," Soun said giving Ranma a clap
on the shoulder. "I was very worried about those two."
 
       Everyone else began to express his or her approvals as
well, even Ryouga.
 
       "Way to go, Saotome," Ryouga said with a sneer. "I
didn't think you had a considerate bone in your body."
 
       "Ah, what do you know? Pork-butt!"
 
       "Sticks and stones!"
 
       "No fighting!" Akane shouted. "We have enough to clean
up as it is."
 
        "Yeah, you two," Ranko chimed in. "Cool it!"
 
        Ryuu Kumon simply gave them all an amused snort. It
was then that Ranma noticed that Akane was sitting next to
him, and that Ranko sitting on the other side of Akane, and
that Ryuu Kumon was seated next Ranko. It made him feel
jealous. Then he felt foolish for being jealous. He could not
say with any certainty what the source of his jealousy was.
He was not all that keen on having Ranko sit so close to
Akane, but that was silly, and he especially did not like
Kumon sitting next to Ranko, but what harm could come from
that? Ranko was still just as male between the ears as he was,
right? Besides, what better guardian could he ask to have for
Akane than Ranko? In the end, he finished his meal in a state
of utter confusion.
 
       Ukyou had not been kidding about the dishes. Ranma had
not realized that dinnerware came in so many different sizes,
shapes and colors. They seemed to have enough inventory on
hand to open a sizeable depaato, or department store, of
their own. He had hoped the activity would keep his mind off
some of his worries. He was wrong.
 
       "Gonna need some fresh hot water soon, Ucchan," Ranma
called over his shoulder.
 
       "Okay, it's almost hot enough."
 
       "Shit, I'm turning into a Kuno," Ranma muttered under
his breath as he pulled the plug out of the sink.
 
       "What makes ya say that, Ran-chan?" Ukyou asked.
"You're not going to start spouting tanka, are ya?"
 
       "Nah, that's not it," Ranma said in an irritated voice.
"Poetry ain't my bag, let alone tanka. I hafta read that
stuff at least twice before I can understand it."
 
        "Oh, so it's Akane and Ranko, then, is it?"
 
        "How'dja guess?"
 
        "Oh, well, I've already walked in those shoes,
remember? How do they fit?" Ukyou asked, giving her old
friend a impish smile.
 
         "Like shit!"
 
         "You're the only guy I know who could fall in love
with himself and be jealous of himself at one and the same
time, Ran-chan--'Course, it's no surprise that you're in love
with yourself. That's old news."
 
       "Oh, hah-hah!" Ranma said sarcastically. "I thought we
were still friends. And what makes you think I'm in love with
Ranko?"
 
       "Oh, puh-leaze, Ran-chan! You're the guy that can't
play poker, remember?"
 
       "Is it that obvious?"
 
       "To anyone who knows you and no one that knows you is
the least bit surprised!" Ukyou said, giving him a positively
sunny smile. "Akane least of all."
 
       "Oh, man! She'll end up killin' us both."
 
       "Or boffin' ya both at the same time."
 
       "Ukyou!"
 
       "Just tellin' ya like it is, Sugar," Ukyou said sweetly.
"What are friends for?"
 
       "How am I gonna get outta this mess?"
 
       "Hey, don't forget about Shampoo. I think she's takin'
all this harder than anybody."
 
       "Oh, man! She ain't gonna start after Ranko, is she?"
 
       "I don't think so," Ukyou said, with a shake of her
head. "I overheard Cologne saying something about adopting
Ranko as a daughter."
 
       "Oh, man, I hope not! That would make her senior to
Shampoo. You know about how well that would work."
 
       "Well, I might be overestimating the old biddy, but
from what I've seen of her, she usually gets her own way,"
Ukyou said, as she stepped in close to Ranma and poked him in
the chest with her index finger. "You, my dear friend, are
one of the few exceptions."
 
        "And I might not be one," Ranma said. "The fat lady
ain't sung, yet. Hell, I don't think fat lady's even in the
ballpark."
 
        "No matter where you go, there you are!" Ukyou said
cheerfully.
 
       "Yeah, and so here I am! How did I get here again?"
 
       "You don't wanna know."
 
       "Oh, okay, but what am I gonna do now?"
 
       "Just keep floundering until Akane rescues you," Ukyou
said. "Makes me glad I'm not her."
 
      "Say, how're things goin' with you and Konatsu, anyway?"
 
      "The truth? He keeps me wrapped around his little
finger."
 
      "That guy would move heaven and earth, for you, Ucchan."
 
      "I know. That's why I let him wrap me around his little
finger."
 
      "Why ain't Akane like that?"
 
      "Because she's engaged to you, Ahou."
 
      "Yeah, well, I guess it is a little different."
 
       Ukyou rolled her eyes in response. She walked over to
one of the stockpots heating over a field burner and tried to
lift it.
 
      "Hang on a second, Ucchan," Ranko said. "I'll give you a
hand with that."
 
       "Thanks, Ranko-honey," Ucchan said taking one handle of
the pot in hand while Ranko took the other. "What are you
doing here? Sunburn bothering you again?"
 
       Ranko rolled her eyes as she helped to lift the pot and
said, "Nah, it's Kumon."
 
       "Yeah, I guess I'd get a little overheated if I had a
hunk like that staring at me," Ukyou said.
 
       "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Ranma and Ranko chorused.
 
       Ukyou merely gave Ranko a knowing grin in response.
 
       "What's this about you belting Ryuu upside the head
last night?" Ranma asked Ranko while water poured into the
sink.
 
      "Huh? Oh, that! It wasn't me. He was helpin' some old
lady into the compound late last night and her grand daughter
gave him a peck on the cheek."
 
      "So who hit him?" Ranma asked.
 
      "The girl's boyfriend. He hit Kumon with a piece of
lumber."
 
       Ranma grimaced as he said, "Big mistake."
 
      "Oh, you guessed it. The guy was one of the patients
they hauled out of here this morning. Why don't I rinse some
of these off and start dryin' 'em?"
 
       "Sounds like a good idea to me," Ukyou said. "You guys
won't mind if I go catch a little nap will ya?"
 
       "Hell, no!" Ranma and Ranko chorused.
 
       "I soaked some towels in fresh water, Ucchan," Ranko
said. "They're in a bowl in the bathroom if you want one."
 
       Ukyou stretched and yawned, then said, "Thanks, Ranko.
I could use one."
 
        Ranma and Ranko watched her walk back towards the
house then began work on the dishes.
 
       "Man, Ranma! You shoulda seen Nabiki a little while
ago." 
 
       "Bad?"
 
       "You kiddin'? She looked like she had just gone ten
rounds with Jet Lee."
 
       "Bad case of the blind staggers, huh?"
 
       "Worse! Ukyou had to stop her from breaking every dish
in sight."
 
       "So what's up with you and Kumon?"
 
       "Ah, you know how it is," Ranko said, striking a pose
that showed off her figure. "He don't wanna look, but he
can't help himself--anymore than you can."
 
       Ranma quickly looked back down at the sink.
 
       "It's wired into us, I think," Ranko added in a quiet
voice. "Being male and female."
 
       "I just imagine his curiosity is killing him as well,"
Ranma said.
 
       "Yeah, that's the way I figure it, too," Ranko said.
"Ya gotta admit, this ain't exactly a normal situation."
 
       "We gotta mess on our hands I don't know how to
straighten it out. I don't know how to even begin."
 
       "We take one step at a time, is all. Which reminds me.
Colonel Abe and his adjutant are coming over tonight. I know
they'll wanna talk to Oji-san, but I'd be surprised if they
don't want to talk to you and me, too."
 
       "Who's Colonel Abe?"
 
       "Oh, that's right! You wouldn't know. You were out of
it. He's in command of the army guys that saved our ass
yesterday. He declared martial law because of the yakuza."
 
       "Martial law? Does that mean that the army's in control
of everything?"
 
       "Yeah, and be glad of it, buddy! I think the regular
cops wanted to lock you, me, and Oji-san up, yesterday."
 
       "Maybe they were right," Ranma said, glumly staring
down at the dishwater.
 
       "Don't be an idiot! You fought four guys in mortal
combat with swords yesterday and won. Sergeant Tanaka killed
four of 'em outright with a rifle. He shot the first one in
the side of the head because he was gonna shoot you, then he
shot three others in the back because they were running
away."
 
       "You're kiddin' me!"
 
       "No, I ain't!" Ranko said. "You know what's really
strange? He's a real nice guy."
 
       "You mean you talked to him?"
 
       "Yeah, him and the corpsman that patched you up. Both
of 'em think you and Oji-san are two of the gutsiest men on
earth. So does Colonel Abe, I think. I didn't really get to
talk to him."
 
       Ranma began to tremble. He squeezed his eyes shut in an
effort to damn the tears that were now burning at the corners
of his eyes. Ranko grabbed a folding chair and set it down
behind him.
 
       "Sit!"
 
       Ranma shook his head no.
 
       "Sit down, Saotome! Now!"
 
       Ranma breathed out huge sigh as he sat down. Ranko
straddled his legs and sat down in his lap. She placed the
palms of her hand on either side of Ranma's head and
whispered, "Now you listen to me, you blockhead! I can't know
what you are going through right now because I wasn't there
with you yesterday the way I have always been, and I hate it,
Ranma. I would have given anything if I could have been in
there with you, but one thing I do know, you did the only
thing you could do at the time. Those guys played their
little game and they paid the price for it. It was their
fault they died, not yours."
 
        Ranma stared down into Ranko's eyes, barely able to
see anything but the deep love she felt for him. A love he
shared because they were literally, part of each other.
 
       "There shoulda been another way!" Ranma said in a
hoarse voice.
 
       "There probably was, but have you thought of it yet?"
 
       Ranma silently shook his head.
 
       "Neither have I, and I saw most of the fight. What
makes you think you coulda come up with an answer yesterday,
when they was slingin' steel all over the place, huh?" Ranko
asked. She put her arms around Ranma and gave him a powerful
hug, saying, "Ya big dummy!"
 
       Ranma put his arms around Ranko and hugged her back.
After a moment, he felt the presence of a third person. He
opened his eyes and looked up. It was Akane, and she was
crying.



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'