----- Original Message -----
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
To: "GL Sandborn" <sandborn@kc.rr.com>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 20, 2002 8:32 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Robotech] FOX Squadron - Episode 10 - Getting To
Know You

% And moving on to this:

                          FOX Squadron
                Episode 10 - Getting To Know You
                       By: G.L. Sandborn

    [ big snip ]

     The scream of a missile warning filled the cockpit.  A quick
check confirmed the threat was coming from below and behind.

% Two directions. Too bad. Can't 'birth' them with a missile of

his/her own.

    Eh?

     With main power offline, the pilot switched to auxiliaries.
Lights on the maneuvering and combat consoles blinked then
glowed.  Partial power restored.  Enough to get back into the
fight.
     A third female Zentraedi joined the other two in the
clearing.   That had to be the one who fired the missile.

% I thought there were multiple missiles fired from different

directions.

    Uh, no.  In 3D, below and behind is the area an aircraft just
passed over.
Hence, a missile fired from such area at said passing aircraft would
be coming
from below and behind.

     "Well, you better consider hollow points," Missy replied,
sliding a shapely leg into the coveralls.  "Otherwise someone
liable

% someone is liable

    Yup.

     "I don't believe that and neither should you," Missy said
with her fists on her hips.
     "Come off it.  The only reason we're here is because they
didn't want to waste one of their 'white' squadrons in a snake
pit like this.  We're just so much cannon fodder."

% Err, what about the 'white' Detroid Squad already there? They're

somehow

immune to the 'cannon fodder' effect?

    They don't count.  Liz is engaging in a little prejudice of her
own
here.  The Lakota have a bit of a persecution complex.  They sometimes
claim that they're being picked on when that's really not the case.
She's a bitter woman right now.  She blames 'white' officers for what
happened to her in the Baltic.  Since her flight was the only one
with no white pilots (they were Hispanic, Black, and Asian), she
automatically blamed the RDF's failure to come to her aid as a sign
they non-white were expendable.  She really resents that.
    I'll expound on this later.  Trust me, it will come back.

     "Yeah," Jeff replied with a chuckle.  "Wouldn't want that."
     "Judging by its condition, I'd say no one has maintained it
in over five years," Daisy noted with a yawn.  She hated mornings

% Amen

and mornings of physical labor unloading supplies were especially
distasteful.

% Double Amen.

     "What's up?" Daisy asked, shoving her hands into the pockets
of her work coveralls.  She also hated cold mornings.

% Ditto. I'd rather run the mile again in 90 degree weather instead

of 32.

I'm a warm weather person.

    Me too.  Sometimes I hate Kansas.  (January and February come to
mind.)

     "I don't suppose it would help if we sent the Gladiators out
to push the damn thing in," he finally said to no one in
particular.
     "Probably

% It might. They are big boys.

    Ever see big boys play with toy trains?  The track just gets in
the way.

     By lunchtime, the last container was hooked up to an
aircraft tug and on its way to the North Hangar.  The Destroid
Troop had their share of the munitions and Dutch DeWitt finished
stowing the remainder down in the munitions bunker.

% You know, I'll be darned if I can find typos in this one.

    Really?  Wow, sitting on a story for a couple of weeks really
pays off.

     Nancy stepped from the shower and snatched a towel from the
rack.

% Daisy's rack. She was not amused. "My breasts are not a coat

hanger" she

explained.

    Watch it.  DW has a temper.

 her feet on a coffee table.  "Unless you want
to hang out with the children, I suggest we go see what kind of
action the town has to offer."
     "I donno,

% Found one! dunno

    Hey, cut me some slack here.  I've ALWAYS written it this way.
'Do not know' has no 'u' in it.  Where do people get 'dunno' from
that?

     "Yup, one night to party before we report for duty," Nancy
said, rubbing her wet hair with another towel.

% Why do I predict it won't be that easy?

     "Huh?"  Nancy stopped drying her hair and frowned at her
friend from beneath the towel.  "What are you talking about?"
     Daisy just jerked a thumb towards the window.  Framed in its
clear glass were three of the younger male members of Cindy's
office staff.  All were staring wide eyed with their mouths open
at Nancy, or more accurately, at her exposed chest.

% Heh

     "AHHHHH!"  Nancy crossed her arms and spun away from the
window.  "Why don't people tell me these things?  I thought the
window was like a one way mirror."

% Well then, it wouldn't be a window if it was one way.

    Actually, these are pretty neat devices.  They can be totally
transparent for quick room inspections, they can be mirrored for
privacy, and they offer a TV picture of the outside so the viewer
appears to be looking through a normal window overlooking the base
while remaining deep underground.  Really gives the place a different
feel.

     Daisy glowered at the retreating boys.  Curiosity was one
thing but this was becoming obsessive.  The reason for their
interest was obvious.  Word had gotten around about Ona's habit
of wandering her apartment in complete undress.  Getting a chance
to glimpse a female Zentraedi warrior in all her glory was a
powerful lure.  It didn't help that she acted oblivious to it
all.

% probably because she is.

    Not really.  She just doesn't think it means anything to others
because it doesn't mean anything to her.  Now, if another female
were to prance around naked in front of her...  (Little Cindy,
for example)

     It was Samantha's turn to hunch over a bit.  "At least you
had a father,"

% Everyone had one. It's 'At least you knew your father.' :)

    Good point.  I'll fix.

     Both sat in silence while Samantha considered what it must
have been like for Missy.  It had to be different having a strong
father-figure around the house.  It couldn't have been worse than
living in almost starvation conditions with a mother who drank to
forget how her husband walked out and never returned after
Samantha was born.
     "What was it like?," Samantha finally asked.
     "What was what like?"
     "Having a father."

% Missy: The sex was good.

% Samanatha: Ack! Too much information.

    ACK!  BAD DB!  [smacks reviewer with rolled-up newspaper]

     Missy drew a deep breath and leaned back in her chair.  "Oh,
I don't know.  Normal, I guess.  Whatever that is."
     "Was he good to you?"
     "Good?  I suppose you could say that.  He never played with
me or anything while I was growing up but he never beat me
either, if that's what you mean by 'good'."
     Samantha shifted in her chair to face her section leader.
"I mean, what's he like?"
     Missy shrugged.  "He's a member of the tribal council.  A
big man among our people, I guess.  Everyone comes to him with
their problems and

% problems, and (I think)

    Could be right.  I'll check further.

 When I signed
up, instead of being pleased, he refused to even speak to me.
I'd thrown away his only chance to have a warrior in the family."

% Err, military women can still have children. It's not exactly

unheard of.

    Not ones on flight duty.  Missy's been there since the end of
training.
This is one of those annoying little chauvinistic aspects of the
Lakota
culture.

     "But surely your escape from Miami Base proved you were as
good as any warrior."
     "Letting an enemy rape me, take from me the only treasure I
could offer a husband?

% Actually, most potential husbands prefer a gal who knows her way

around.

Breaking in a virgin can be... tiring. :)

    True but it is still a status symbol among Lakota.  However, I
can't
imagine how anyone would prove it to people other than the husband
(and
even he can be fooled on occasion with a good story).

 Losing my virginity is hardly the kind of
thing told around council fires to impress others.  No, what I
did was for survival - survival without honor."  Missy kicked out
of her chair like she wanted to escape.  "I wish there was
something stronger to drink here."
     "But surely --"
     "NO!"  Missy spun around and glared at Samantha.  Carefully
woven defenses to horrible memories seemed to vanish under
Samantha's incessant probing.  "You don't understand.  You can't
understand.  You don't know what it's like.  No matter how many
times you wash, you still feel dirty.  The worst part is I can
never be with a man again.

% Ona: Well, there are always... alternatives. Wink, wink, nudge,

nudge. Say

no more.

    ACK!  BAD DB, BAD!   [strikes reviewer with pvc pipe]

     Outside the cool evening air washed over her like a cold
shower.  Samantha walked slowly around her Veritech, casting
occasional glances at the Alert Post.  She saw Missy collapse on
one of the bunks, holding her head in her hands.  Cursing softly,
she asked herself why she couldn't learn to keep her big mouth
shut?

% It would be less writing for the author and he'd have to come up

with

other means to provide conflict. :)

    Yeah, like people shooting at each other.  ^_~

     "We are.  I fly better when hung over.  Don't like
airplanes."

% makes sense.

     "He came in on that transport this morning along with six
food service personnel for the mess hall, three base maintenance
people, two nurses and a couple others whose specialties are
known only to themselves and your resourceful Lieutenant
Wallace."

% Ah. Some form of reenforcements anyway.

     "You're well informed," Jeff noted.
     "In my business, details are what's important."  Richard
noticed Jeff's satisfied expression.  "Before you start thinking
you're sitting in the cat bird seat, let me remind you that a
base of this size requires twenty-eight food service personnel

% Not true. That's only if you have a full base. This one is

operating at

the minimum, so they won't need that many. :)

    True, but Richard has a good head start on his hangover and is
speaking 'by the book'. ^_^

,

     "You were saying something about General Emerson."
     "General Emerson was only following orders from higher up.
I suppose I shouldn't be telling you this but you're just a trip-
wire.  They know the lid is going to blow once the Yorkies think
they're strong enough and get the Grays to join them.  They mean
to sweep over this entire southern half of the sector; from
Florida to the Rockies.  In short, you are all that stands in the
way of them marching straight through to Albuquerque."  Richard
slid his hand across the bar to demonstrate the power of a
combined York/UCS force.

% Ah. Well then, ought to start out by knocking out everything they

can and

putting a dent in the enemies forces. Call it 'Friendly Misfires.'

    Also call it 'starting a war', one that could involve others like
the EBSIS and Chinese, who the United World Government is ill prepared
to deal with just yet.

     "They might get a bit of an argument out of those in the
Protectorate," Jeff noted.
     "The Zentraedi are formidable fighters when properly
equipped.  I'll grant you that.  But they cannot maintain the
equipment they currently have and they have no way of securing
new equipment while in the Protectorate.  They're a hollow
military force,

% think you can drop that comma

    Hmmmmm, could be right.  I'll read it again.

     "Just between you and me, I don't think they cared what kind
of squadron they put down here.  All they wanted was warm bodies
to get their ass shot off in the assault's opening phase so the
Army of the Southern Cross, not to mention Field Marshal Leonard,
could ride to the rescue."

% Now that is far more likely. He's letting them add fuel so that

once the

fire starts, he'll put it out with a friendly jackboot. :)

    I think you understand the plan. ^_^

     With a sigh, she stacked the papers before dropping them in
the 'out' box.  Why the RDF still required these hand-written
forms had to be lost somewhere in the bureaucratic tradition of
the military.

% Nah. Just bureacratic tradition period. It's not soely the domain

of the

military.

    And governments.  Can't forget the one entity guaranteed to
employ the greatest number of people to do the least amount of
work.

     With their celebration in full swing, Kay and Gail
supervised the others like mothers at a juvenile birthday party.
Soft drinks flowed freely and they were well into their second
batch of popcorn.  Cindy ruled the pool table, beating all comers
with a flourish that suggested she was more than just a little,
owl-eyed office drone.  Mary Cook-Lynn kept the music coming,
although her taste ran decidedly towards the 'bubblegum' variety,

% Yah! I love Priss and the Replicants. :)

    Ah, yes, Marie Osmond on drugs.

while Anne Twotree and Gloria Graywolf mingled with the younger
members like a couple of indulgent older sisters.
     Well after dark, a group of them gathered in the middle of
the room on pillows and blankets to tell stories.  Most told of
things that happened to them or someone they knew.  A few spun
wildly impossible tales about dates that went bad or embarrassing
situations they had endured.

% Like out of a scene from Seinfeld. :)

    Never watched it.  Do they do this sort of thing often?

     Through it all, Kay and Gail laughed along with the girls
and encouraged them to add more details, some turning the
storytellers red with embarrassment.
     "Kay, why don't you tell everyone how you met the Colonel?"

% Kay: It was during this orgy. I lost track of the guys I had sex

with by

the time he showed up...

    ACK!  BAD DB!   [ strikes reviewer with 9 iron ]

     "I grabbed Julie and told her to go find the fathers.
Pulling on our shirts, Ellen and I ran up the riverbed, watching
the pilot land in the trees.  By the time we got there, he was
tangled upside down in the branches about twenty feet off the
ground."

% Jeff: I prefered Gail's version.

    Me too.  You should have read the part I cut.  ^_^   Would
have lost my PG rating.

     "I love this part," Gail added.
     Shooting her sister a warning look, Kay continued.
"Standing almost underneath him, wearing only my work shirt, my
legs all splattered with mud and my hair still wet, I saw him
move slightly to look directly at me.  Then he said: 'I must be
dead because I'm looking at an angel.'"
     Some of the girls groaned at the corny line while the others
giggled.
     "Sure he wasn't looking at your cousin?" Gail chided.
     "No, he was looking at me," Kay insisted.

% "Besides. Ellen was a total troll."

    Ah, then you've seen the real Ellen.

     "I hear you had your arms around him all the way back."
Gail grinned like there was more to the story.
     "I had to hold on to something," Kay replied.
     "Sure it was the saddle horn you were holding on to?" Gail
asked with a leer.

% Kay: God, yes! Like he's that big.

    Oh, I don't know.  I remember a time when Julie and I went
riding at dusk...  er, that's a story better left for later.  ^_^;

     Virginia chuckled.  "Yeah, I know what you mean.  It's more
fun out here tinkering with my buddy."
     "Your buddy?"
     "My chopper.

% Heh. Pure pilot.

  This old girl an' me have been through a lot
together."  Virginia patted the metal shielding that ran the
length of the helicopter's bottom.  More than once that shielding
had protected her from ground fire.
     "I see."  It was Linda's turn to chuckle.  "Next thing you
know, you'll be giving it a name.  How about 'Alphonse'?"

% Cute. Don't see much PL references.

    Yeah.  I rented the whole series.  I'm hooked.  Watch for a
Patlabor story sometime.

     "What kind of lunatic names their vehicles?"  Virginia
paused tightening a nut and looked at Linda with a raised
eyebrow.

% Pretty much most of them give a pet name to the vehcile their

lives depend

on.

     "I saw it in a TV show.  Some girl who drove a large robot-
like vehicle named her's

% hers (I think)

    You think correctly.  Me bad.  (Put the pipe down, kid.)

     "This isn't very impressive," Nancy said, a touch of
disappointment in her voice.
     "Looks to me like they roll up the sidewalks at dusk," Daisy
replied.

% I know towns like that. HAving spent some of my early formative

years in

the middle of nowehere, it's like a little slice of hell to me. I

like

having people around.

    I'm the opposite.  I hate crowds.

     Ona silently looked left and right when the rover slowed,
like she anticipated an imminent ambush.  Darkened one-story
buildings, some with fake Western facades, loomed on either side
of the street.  The sound of the rover's engine echoed off the
empty buildings, giving them a feeling of isolation.
     "Let's try that place."  Bobbi Jo pointed out what looked
like a bar in the first cluster of buildings.

     "Good as any, I suppose."

% Don't need that line break.

    POV change.

     "You sound like you from around here."
     "My ma used to own a laundry up the road a piece."
     Squinting at Bobbi Jo like she was trying to peer through
time, a wave of recognition washed over the old woman.  "Lordy,
are you Mary Baker's little girl?"  When Bobbi Jo nodded, the old
woman clasped her hands to her ample bosom.  "Your momma an' me
knew each other since we were no bigger than a hound dog's
backside.  How are you, girl?"

% Ah. That broke the ice.

    Well, ya had to know that was bound to happen. :)

     "Y'all call me Momma Jean.  Everybody else does."  The old
woman smiled at each until her eyes fell on Ona.  The smile faded
as she stared at the Zentraedi, her expression straining to
remain friendly.  Tilting her head a bit, her brow furrowed.

     Ona returned the woman's stare for a few moments before

% Another line break you don't need.

    Another POV change.

     "I still think we should have gone down to the Club," Karen
mumbled as she cast a disapproving look at the bar.  "Lieutenant
Wallace said a club manager came in on the transport today."
     "We can go to the Club anytime," Liz replied, climbing out
of the rover and stretching.  "This is our chance to see some of
the town."

% And realize that seeing it once is quite enough.

    In the dark, no less.

     Sitting with her back to the wall, she placed her mug on the
table and fished out a handful of credit notes and coins.  "Hope
I got enough," she said innocently.
     The men chuckled and arranged their own meager stashes of
money.  It was obvious they intended on lightening Bobbi Jo's
financial burden.

% Which means they won't.

     "So, y'all come here often?" she asked, flirting with each
man in turn.  Settling in for a long evening, she watched
carefully as one of the men dealt the cards.

     Time passed quickly, more so for those drinking.

% Lot of line breaks in this part I think you don't need.

    All are POV changes.  I'm jumping from one character to
another.  Line breaks are just a way of indicating that.

     She did notice one thing new; every time Ona Parino laughed,
Karen's face twitched.  While it wasn't a lot to go on, it did
present a clue.  Something in Parino's voice triggered a strong
negative response in Karen.
     Nancy was the first to feel the need to make room for more
beer.  She asked Momma Jean about rest room facilities.
     "'Bout all I got is an outhouse out back,

% Oh. Definitely upscale.

    Well, the seat's carpeted.

     Ona opened the door and peered in.  "Why don't they put a
light in here?"
     "Believe me, it wouldn't be an improvement.

% Nod, nod.

    Ah, I see you're familiar with such structures.

     Moments later, Ona emerged from the outhouse with a
disgusted expression.  No doubt about it, that place was the
pits.  Her expression abruptly changed when she saw what was
waiting for her.
     Three men, clad in GMP black and gray uniforms surrounded
her, their stunners drawn.

% SOunded like a set up.

    Could be but we won't know until later chapters. ^_^

     Nuzzling the GMP man's chest, she slowly ran her hand across
his butt.  It wasn't a bad butt, she concluded.  It was just
attached to a thoroughly disgusting man.
     When the other two men went back to pawing Parino, she saw
her chance.  Snatching the man's stunner from its holster, she
jammed it in his ribs and pressed the trigger button.  The man
yelped and went limp, almost pulling Karen down with him.

% Might want to mention that she's not in contact with him, or

she'll get a

jolt too.

    Interesting point.  I'm not sure just how the stunners work
myself.  I see them as projecting more of a focused beam that
confines itself to the target only.  However, I see the problem.

 Liz asked forcefully, pinning Karen's arm
behind her back and sitting up.  She wasn't taking any more
chances with the unpredictable Crowkiller.
     "My fiance," Karen whined, her face pressed against the
moistening ground.
     "A pilot?"  Liz tried not to sound like an interrogator but
things had progressed to the point where she didn't care anymore.
     "Excaliber pilot."

% Ah. That one. Makes it even worse for her.

     "You choked?" Liz gasped as if she didn't believe what she
just heard.
     "I could have saved him," Karen moaned.
     "You choked and now blame Ona Parino?"
     "She's one of them."  Karen's voice dropped into almost a
growl.
     "She's one of US!" Liz corrected.
     "But -"
     "NO BUTS!"  Liz leaned closer.  "You know better than this.
There are only two rules to warfare.  One, people die.  Two, you
can't do a damn thing about rule one.  You want to morn?

% mourn

    Caught me.  You right.

     Without a word, Liz got up and walked to her exhausted
friend.  With great effort, Karen raised the knife and held it
out for Liz to take.  To show her mutual grief for Karen's loss,
Liz took the knife, held it up to the moon.  "I do this in honor
of a brave warrior," she said in a loud voice before cutting once
her own arm.  "It is better to die young on the battlefield than
to live to carry a cane."

% Nah. I like being alive. You get to do things other than

decompose.

    It's an old Lakota saying

     Karen fumbled to pull out her dog tags, her bloody arms
leaving red trails across her shirt, and snapped the chain.
Between her tags was a small diamond ring, the one Stephen had
given her only days before his death.  Sliding it off the chain,
she handed it to Liz, her bloody fingers staining its metallic
surface red.  "I have no other possession of value," Karen said
in a shaky voice.  "Take it.  It is no longer mine."
     Liz gently took the ring from her friend and held it tight
in a fist.  All the proprieties of proper mourning had been
completed.  There was only one thing left to do.
     "You have mourned enough for the spirit of your departed
love.  It is time you began to live again," she said.  "Return to
your duties.  Comfort yourself in your tasks.

% Screw up in new ways rather than the old.

    Another old Lakota saying.  This one if from Black Elk.  The
way he used it was when he got tired of listening to some women
blubber about lost family members after a battle.  Actually, the
tribal chief was supposed to determine how long a person was permitted
to mourn.  For the good of the group, he would declare the mourning
at an end and direct the women back to their work to get them
doing familiar things.  That allows them to put the episode behind
them and get on with their lives.
    The whole mutilation episode is grounded in historical fact.
I've seen Lakota who've gone through it.  The scars are really
impressive.  They wear them like a badge of honor.  The willingness
to harm yourself in mourning is supposed to show respect for the
dead.  At least, that's what Julie's dad always told me.  After
his wife died, we had to take him to the hospital for all the things
he did to himself.  Wasn't pretty.  He refused stitches.  I guess
he wanted those impressive scars.

     Liz tumbled into bed, exhausted and ready for sleep.  Doctor
Takahashi had scolded her for allowing Karen to mutilate herself.

% Little self-mutilation for better psychological fortitude. It's a

trade

off.

    I think you're probably closer to the truth than you know.

     "Whatever," she mumbled with a yawn.  Figuring it all out
would have to wait for another time.  Tonight, she was just too
damn tired.

% Very nice work, as I've come to expect. Prose flowed well. Got a

lot of

interpersonal stuff done as well as refortifying the base. It moved

fast

withou bogging down and there was lots of good character

development. Not a

thing to complain about. Already looking forward to reading more

    Thanks.  I really appreciate your efforts.

    The next episode begins the missions.  Gonna be fun. ^_^

D.B. Sommer

    Take care,

    - Greg





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